INT. SENATE COMMITTEE HEARING - WASHINGTON, DC - DAY
A packed senate hearing on UFOs. Visuals play over a screen:
Stonehenge, Egyptian pyramids, the Tic-Tac UAP video... The
lead SENATOR wraps up his questioning.
SENATOR
...so, is it your testimony,
General Eastland, as head of the
UFO/UAP Task Force, that there is
zero evidence that any
extraterrestrial beings have ever
visited our planet?
At the witness table, a two-star Air Force GENERAL ROGER
EASTLAND nods. Suppresses a smile.
GENERAL EASTLAND
Yes, Senator. Zero is correct.
CRAZY MAN VOICE (V.O.)
LIES! HE’S COVERED UP THE EVIDENCE.
A CRAZED MAN plows past security to confront General
Eastland. Dumps out a file of exotic DNA diagrams, photos of
“alien” crafts, and secret underground tunnels at AREA 51.
CRAZY MAN
ALIENS LIVE AMONG US RIGHT NOW!
THEY LOOK LIKE US, BUT HAVE HYBRID
DNA. TRIPLE HELIX. SO THEY CALL
THEM TRIPS. AT FIRST THEY HELPED
MANKIND. NOW THEY’RE TURNING
AGAINST US!
Capitol Police guards drag him out kicking and screaming.
CRAZY MAN
THE MOST POWERFUL TRIPS CAN TRIGGER
NATURAL DISASTERS, VOLCANIC
ERUPTIONS, EARTHQUAKES --
And he’s gone. General Eastland gives the panel a wry grin.
GENERAL EASTLAND
Senators, I believe this hearing
just turned into a natural
disaster.
The good old boy Senators can’t help but chuckle as we CUT
TO:
Genres:
["Science Fiction","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
2 -
Secrets in the Arctic: The TRIP Compound
EXT. ARCTIC CIRCLE - NIGHT
Icy winds. Snow flurries. Jagged snowbanks.
We spot a military officer clad in white camo and goggles.
He gestures to his troops hidden in snow along a rocky ridge.
He removes his goggles to look through white binoculars to a
dimly lit field below.
We recognize the officer -- it’s two-star General Roger
Eastland from the Senate hearing.
FROZEN SOCCER FIELD
A half-dozen TEENAGERS play soccer in hooded snowsuits.
Above the field, through swirling snowfall, we PULL BACK TO
see a fortress built into the mountain above the soccer
field. Soldiers in white camo rappel down its facade.
SUPER: SECRET TRIP COMPOUND
INT. TRIP COMPOUND - HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
The Special Forces troops pass a wall sign -- “TRIP Code:”
1. TRIPS DO NO HARM
2. TRIPS LIVE IN SERVICE TO OTHERS
3. TRIPS NEVER REVEAL THEMSELVES
TWO PEOPLE IN THE HALLWAY AHEAD
DR. TRUMAN (30s, kind-faced) walks with RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
(40s, showman’s flair, glamour hair, non-stop dancing, think
Freddy Mercury on the dark side).
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS (BRITISH ACCENT)
Something’s dodgy with my energy
flow.
DR. TRUMAN
Powers come and go for all TRIPS --
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS (BRITISH ACCENT)
I’m not all TRIPs, Doctor Truman. I
don’t plan on going gentle into
that good night.
DR. TRUMAN
What are you telling me?
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
I found an amplifier!
DR. TRUMAN
Impossible! When?
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
Three hours ago. Dr. Sonya’s
running his numbers as we speak.
Rick opens a DNA security lock on a hermetically sealed door.
Genres:
["Science Fiction","Thriller"]
Ratings
Scene
3 -
Chaos in the Nursery
INT. TRIP NURSERY - CONTINUOUS
Soft lighting. Symphony music. DR. SONYA (40s, Rick’s twin
sister, fiery red-haired beauty) checks the monitors on a
blue-trimmed bassinet.
She ignores the pink-trimmed bassinet next to it.
Dr. Truman eyes the smiling newborn boy in the blue bassinet.
Adorable in every way. His tiny head of HAIR STANDS on end.
Dr. Truman loves him instantly.
DR. SONYA (BRITISH ACCENT)
His numbers are brilliant, Brother.
Level Six. There hasn’t been a
Level Six since Einstein --
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
Get to the point, Sissy. Is he an
amplifier or not, chop-chop?
DR. TRUMAN
We can’t be certain of that for
another thirteen years --
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
I don’t have thirteen bloody years!
A machine connected to the newborn’s hi-tech bassinet is
labeled SPAZMAT. Rick cranks up the machine’s dials.
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
SPAZMAT -- ACTIVATE!
ZWWOP! Gauges spike. And the poor newborn winces/cries.
DR. TRUMAN
STOP! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!
Truman lunges for Rick, but Sonya blocks his way.
The newborn baby boy wails. And Rick dances, until...
KA-BANG! An explosion blasts Sonya, Truman, and Rick
backward. Thick smoke fills the air as soldiers breach the
nursery, USAF General Roger Eastland in command.
GENERAL EASTLAND
NOBODY MOVE! RICK THE RIGHTEOUS, WE
HAVE A WARRANT FOR YOUR ARREST!
YOU’RE CHARGED WITH UNAUTHORIZED
ELEMENT-SHIFTING, FOUR VOLCANIC
ERUPTIONS, AND THIRTY EARTHQUAKES.
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
Oh, make that thirty-one, darling.
Sparks shoot out from Rick’s fingertips as his body quakes so
violently it causes the room to quake as well. Alarmed
troops brace for disaster. But then... nothing.
The sparks stop. The room settles. And Rick sulks.
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
... bloody hell!
PHIP! The General fires his weapon. Shoots a large net
crackling with blue electricity onto Rick. Chaos ensues.
Dr. Truman grabs the baby boy. Mad-dashes out a rear nursery
door. Locks it shut. Soldiers chase after him.
BLAM-BLAM! Soldiers blast open the door... only to find an
empty utility closet.
SOLDIER
Where’d they go?
INT. SECRET ICE TUNNELS BELOW - CONTINUOUS
Cradling the newborn, Dr. Truman descends down a secret
stairwell to a motor pool of tricked-out snowmobiles and
snowcats. He cranks a snowmobile and whispers to the infant.
DR. TRU
Be brave, little one, you’re not
alone... I will never leave you.
The baby’s hair rises again as we CUT TO:
EXT. SOCCER FIELD - CONTINUOUS
PHWOOSH-PWHOOSH! TRIP teenagers run for their lives.
Overhead, Special Forces helicopters fire more electrified
nets.
The door gunner fires a net at a sumo-sized teen, but the kid
dodges it and dives into an escape hatch under the goal.
ICE TUNNELS BELOW - CONTINUOUS
The escaped teen tumbles into an icy underground foyer as
explosions sound above. He pulls back his hood, wipes his
fogged-up super-thick glasses, exhaling in relief as...
VRRROOOOM! Dr. Truman (with the baby stuffed in his jacket)
races the sleek snowmobile through the foyer past the big
teen and into the escape tunnel off the foyer...
Moments later, Dr. Sonya rumbles into the foyer on a massive
snowcat. She holds the pink blanket-clad infant in her arms.
DR. SONYA
HEY! AUSSIE! YOU SEE THEM? DR.
TRUMAN AND A BABY BOY?!
Aussie points to the escape tunnel off the foyer.
DR. SONYA
HE’S BETRAYED MY BROTHER -- GET ON!
KA-BOOM! More explosions as Dr. Sonya, Aussie, and the baby
ride the snowcat through the escape tunnel.
As the smoke clears from the explosions, the screen goes to
FULL WHITE. Against this WHITE CANVAS Sonya sees...
A TELEPATHIC VISION of her twin brother Rick shackled inside
a military chopper. He speaks to Sonya.
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
Find the boy, Sissy.
(showman’s grin)
Whatever it takes, FIND THE BOY...
Over white, SUPER: FOUR YEARS LATER
Genres:
["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]
Ratings
Scene
4 -
The Weight of Difference
INT. LUMPKINS’ KITCHEN (OXFORD, MISSISSIPPI) - NIGHT
A door jamb growth chart. The name DELBERT etched in pencil.
DR. STUBBS (PRE-LAP)
Height-wise, Delbert’s in the tenth
percentile on the national charts.
INT. PEDIATRICIAN’S OFFICE - DAY
DR. BEN STUBBS (late 30’s, formerly known to us as Dr. Truman
from the Arctic compound) talks to worried parents, ELIZABETH
LUMPKINS (40s, tall, willowy, mama bear maternal) and HAL
LUMPKINS (50s, short, bald, philosophic).
Using a monitor, Stubbs motions to the red line on a graph,
causing his shirt cuff to retract, revealing a distinctive
silver and red watch on this wrist.
DR. STUBBS
But I.Q.-wise, he’s off the charts.
(smiles)
Elizabeth, Hal, this is where your
son is different.
ELIZABETH
(with love)
There’s different, Dr. Stubbs, and
then there’s... Delbert different.
In unison, the trio look out the office’s glass door to...
CHILD’S PLAY AREA
On a big white board, a BEEFY, BLONDE 7-year-old draws crude
stick figures. The kid’s got bully written all over him.
Beside him, a much smaller boy draws as well. His name is
DELBERT LUMPKINS (4, the baby from the opening, our hero).
Delbert’s HAIR STANDS ON END as we PULL BACK TO reveal his
drawing -- an elaborate sketch of deep outer space:
Exploding novae. Towering nebulae. Event horizons.
From Delbert’s POV (DELEVISION): The sketch BURSTS ALIVE.
Moving... rotating... equations calculating gravity ratios.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
My dad tells me being different is
a blessing. And though I REALLY
want to believe him...
Beefy Blonde sneers. Smudges out Delbert’s masterful art.
In the office, Elizabeth and Hal bolt up as we CUT BACK TO:
DELBERT (NARRATION)
...from what I’ve seen, most people
hate different.
LUMPKINS’ KITCHEN - DELBERT’S GROWTH CHART
We MOVE up the notches and dates. Delbert’s a very slow
grower. WE STOP AT AGE 8.
Genres:
["Sci-Fi","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
5 -
Bullying and Resilience at Oxford Elementary
EXT. OXFORD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - DAY
Four elementary school bullies dump a garbage can over little
DELBERT (8). We recognize the lead bully is the beefy blonde
kid we saw in Dr. Stubbs’ office, JOSEPH TILLMAN (now 11).
TILLMAN
You gonna cry?
(familiar sneer)
It’s no fun if you don’t cry!
He covers Delbert in sticky debris and rotten banana peels.
Through the muck, Delbert smiles his irrepressible smile.
DELBERT
I just want to know why you keep
doing this kind of stuff to me?
TILLMAN
‘Cause you make everyone SICK!
Snatching Delbert’s Star Trek lunchbox, Tillman pulls out a
raw onion and a jar of mayonnaise.
TILLMAN
You eat mayonnaise out the jar and
onions like apples!
DELBERT
Onions are a superfood --
WHAP. Tillman smushes the onion bulb in Delbert’s mouth.
Delbert chews, “yummy.” Darkening, Tillman dumps mayo on
Delbert’s head. He dips a finger in the mayo and licks it.
DELBERT
(mouthful of onions)
You can’t beat Hellman’s.
TILLMAN
You’re a freak, Lumpkins! With
your stupid hair and stupid farts
that smell like stupid flowers,
HOW’S THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!!!
DELBERT
I know, right? My mom says my
diapers were better than potpourri.
TILLMAN
THAT’S IT, YOU’RE DOG MEAT!!!
Tillman cocks a fist to hammer Delbert, until...
ELIZABETH (O.S.)
GET OFF MY DELBERT, YOU FILTHY
SWINE! MOMMA’S COMING, BABY!
Tillman screams. He and his bullies run for their lives as
Elizabeth (in mama bear mode) chases after them.
BACK TO DELBERT’S GROWTH CHART
We TILT FURTHER UP the jamb. Our young hero’s growth is
still slow going. We stop a few inches higher at age 11.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
There were lots more garbage days --
but good days too. In sixth grade,
I even made my FIRST friend!
The sounds of delighted kids at a carnival take us out to:
EXT. OXFORD COUNTY FAIR - NIGHT
CLOSE ON the pudgy face of SOJIN “BOBO” CHEN (11).
DELBERT (NARRATION)
That’s Bobo Chen, my B-F-F.
Whenever he sighs, he’s about to
tell me how the world works.
(off Bobo’s sigh)
Bobo sighs a lot.
BOBO
Do you WANT to get beat up?
PULL BACK TO see Bobo stands a foot taller than ever-smiling
DELBERT (11), who’s now noticeably... swaying back and forth.
DELBERT
It’s not me. It’s the moon.
(re: full moon)
Lunar gravity makes me sway.
BOBO
Dude, when you say weird, loony
stuff like that, it’s like catnip
for bullies.
DELBERT
My dad says mindless conformity is
a form of cowardice.
BOBO
So HE wants you to get beat up?
The roar of a crowd draws Delbert’s attention to:
EXT. “HOOP DREAMS” ARCADE GAME - NIGHT
More cheering. Some big blonde kid banks in a shot and he’s
eating it up. It’s Delbert’s bully JOSEPH TILLMAN (13).
He’s bigger, more muscular, and even more of a total jerk.
He sees Delbert swaying nearby, holding a fistful of tickets.
Snatching Delbert’s tickets, Tillman holds them high.
DELBERT
Hey! Give them back!
WHOMP! Tillman shoves the basketball into Delbert’s gut.
TILLMAN
Here’s the deal, Lumpy, you make a
shot, you get ‘em back. But you
miss, these are all mine!
(snatching Bobo’s tickets)
And your fatso pal’s too!
Bobo darkens in anger. Delbert eyes the carnival hoop. It’s
a long way off. Until he sees it through his...
DELEVISION: A RED ARROW shows Delbert the ball’s trajectory.
Algorithms display force needed. And a graph indicates
Delbert actually needs to be... TWO FEET TALLER.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
My dad says I’m destined to do
something big, and when I’m ready,
that something will find me...
HOOP DREAMS COUNTER - MOMENTS LATER
Following his algorithms, our tiny hero bends his knees...
The ball leaves his hand... spins through the air following
arrows... probability ratios rise rapidly, until... 100%!
THIP. Delbert, pulling off the impossible, hits the shot.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
This is where BASKETBALL found me!
We now see how he got two feet higher -- beneath him is Bobo
on all fours -- and Delbert is standing atop his back.
The crowd erupts for Delbert. “GREAT SHOT! INCREDIBLE!”
DELBERT (NARRATION)
And basketball’s NEVER let me go.
(thrilled)
The next day I took over three
hundred shots. And I’ve taken over
three hundred shots every single
day since then...
And with that, WHACK! Tillman boots Bobo in the butt sending
Delbert flying. THUMP!
Tillman laughs until someone snatches the tickets back from
his hand. Turning, he sees Elizabeth in mama bear mode.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
And as I got better, everything
else got better. In eighth grade,
I EVEN GOT A GIRLFRIEND!
Tillman screams and runs for his life as we CUT TO:
Genres:
["Science Fiction","Coming of Age","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
7 -
Delbert's 13th Birthday: Growth and Secrets
INT. LUMPKINS’ STAIRWELL - MORNING (PRESENT DAY)
A screensaver photo of DARIA (13, fried perm, epic acne,
Delbert’s girlfriend). Our present-day DELBERT (13, huge
heart and fantastic face) smiles.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
There’s my Daria. Beautiful Daria.
She’s an exchange student from
Siberia. I helped her write a
science paper on “Future
Evolution.” And it went so well I
evolved into her boyfriend...
DELEVISION: Daria’s photo smiles back at him with a mouthful
of silver braces. Her widening smile causes her pimples to
POP-POP-POP like tiny firecrackers.
INT. LUMPKINS’ KITCHEN - MORNING
CLOSE ON HAPPY 13th BIRTHDAY written on a pancake stack.
ELIZABETH
The day you were born, darling, was
the happiest day of my life!
Delbert gives her a loving hug then gestures to the...
DOOR JAMB - MOMENTS LATER
Our diminutive hero positions his back against the door jamb.
Stretching his spine tall as can be. Fingers crossed.
HAL
A man’s true measure comes not in
his height, but in how tall he
makes others feel.
(pats Delbert’s back)
And you, my boy, are towering.
Laying the yardstick atop Delbert’s head, Elizabeth makes the
mark. Delbert steps out and they all stare at it.
ELIZABETH
I... I think it’s a smidge higher.
(off Delbert’s look)
(MORE)
ELIZABETH (CONT’D)
Don’t worry, honey, the “Gillespie
growth spurt” is coming -- your
cousins in Holland are so tall they
can practically touch the stars!
Outside, lightning suddenly KA-RACKS! And rain falls.
DELBERT
And the hits just keep on coming.
HAL
Au contraire, mon fils.
(off Delbert’s look)
Whenever it rains on your birthday -
- it means you’re gonna grow!
Delbert musters a hopeful smile as we SUPER THE TITLE:
DELBERT GETS TALL
DING-DONG. The doorbell rings as we CUT TO:
EXT. LUMPKINS’ FRONT DOOR - MOMENTS LATER
Opening the door, Delbert finds a GRUFF PRIME DELIVERY MAN
(60s, heavy-set). Rain drips off his Amazon hat and jacket.
GRUFF DELIVERY MAN
Delivery for Delbert H. Lumpkins.
DELBERT
I’m Delbert.
(reads label)
It’s from my cousins in Holland!
GRUFF DELIVERY MAN
I gotta scan the package.
ZAP! The red laser scan from the man’s “phone” captures
Delbert’s eyes, blinding him like a camera flash.
We see SPAZMAT printed on the phone’s side. Delbert blink-
blinks as the Delivery Man hurries back to his...
EXT./INT. AMAZON TRUCK - CONTINUOUS
Behind the truck, something trippy happens. Gruff Delivery
Man vibrates like a tuning fork and MORPHS before our eyes.
He sheds fifty pounds and twenty years to reveal... fiery red-
haired beauty DR. SONYA. She opens the truck’s cargo door to
reveal another familiar face -- the sumo-sized teen, Aussie
(13 years older). They sit before an upgraded SPAZMAT
machine.
DR. SONYA
After thirteen years of searching
for a Level Six amplifier ...
She fits the phone she scanned Delbert with (her SPAZMAT
phone) into a receptacle and... a dazzling mini HOLOGRAPH of
Delbert inside his house blooms to life.
DR. SONYA
SPAZMAT, calibrate the target’s
current Activation Rate.
Sonya rubs her hands together in expectant glee. Holographic
numbers spin, tumble, and calculate: TARGET ACTIVATION: 02%.
Sonya’s eyes close in frustration.
Sonya stares at the truck walls, which MORPH into the same
WHITE CANVAS we saw in the opening. Sonya is TELEPATHING her
twin brother.
The WHITE CANVAS turns into an prison cell. And for some
reason Sonya hears Britney’s, “Oops, I did it again.”
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS (PRE-LAP)
HA-HA! Thirteen years the DUBS
thought they were torturing me with
this tune...
Genres:
["Science Fiction","Coming of Age","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
8 -
Defiance and Distraction
INT. UNDERGROUND CELL - TELEPATHING CONTINUES
Sonya regards her shirtless, tattooed brother collared to a
cell wall like a dog on a chain. Icicles on his long hair
and beard clatter as he dances defiantly to Britney’s song.
Despite it all, Rick’s more deliciously righteous than ever.
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
The fools don’t realize I can’t get
me enough Britney, HA-HA!
(gyrating about)
Well, let’s have it. Give me the
word on our young amplifier?
DR. SONYA
It’s not good. His activation
rate’s only two percent --
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
Two percent? I could get two
percent out of low-fat milk! I
need him at ONE-HUNDRED-PERCENT!
DR. SONYA
I could snatch him --
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
NO! You’d knot his measly
Activation Rate further! He will
NEVER activate in captivity, Sissy.
He must be free!
(brightens with an idea)
What is it he wants most, Sissy?
DR. SONYA
He wants to be tall so he can play
basketball.
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
Then give him what he wants.
(dancing about)
Blast him with SPAZMAT! If the lil’
TRIP’s so desperate to be tall,
MAKE HIM TALL!!!
Sonya nods. And Rick and the icy cell MORPH back into:
AMAZON TRUCK
Sonya wheels over to AUSSIE manning the SPAZMAT machine.
Aussie is studying a SPAZMAT hologram showing Delbert’s
skeletal structure growing as energy particles enter him.
DR. SONYA
AUSSIE! Maximum power!
Aussie doesn’t respond.
DR. SONYA
AUSSIE! INITIATE GROWTH CYCLE!
He still doesn’t move. Just grins like an idiot. Now Sonya
realizes why -- the big Aussie is secretly listening to
earbuds under his hat. So she WHACKS him upside the head!
His glasses, hat, and earbuds fly. And Sonya hears an old
Broadway song: Ethel Merman belts out “Everything’s Coming
Up Roses.”
SONYA
Show tunes again?!
AUSSIE (AUSSIE ACCENT)
It’s not my fault! Ethel Merman’s
voice -- it speaks to my soul!
WHACK! Sonya pushes him aside and takes the controls.
DR. SONYA
SPAZMAT, initiate target’s growth
cycle. Full power!
In the holograph, we see a rush of energy particles crackle
through the air toward Delbert’s body as we MATCH CUT TO:
INT. LUMPKINS’ KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Delbert opens his gift box. A framed photo of all his tall
Dutch cousins holding a sign: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DELBERT!
His entire body vibrates and his HAIR RISES as we CUT TO:
A GYM SCOREBOARD
BRAMLETT: 40 VISITORS: 44. Only 30 SECONDS left to play.
PULL BACK TO reveal we’re now in:
Genres:
["Science Fiction","Drama","Action"]
Ratings
Scene
9 -
The Pressure of the Game
INT. BRAMLETT MIDDLE SCHOOL GYM - NIGHT
A small crowd of family and friends cheer an eighth-grade
basketball game. Dr. Stubbs sits beside Elizabeth and Hal.
ELIZABETH HAL
C’MON, DELBERT! UNLEASH THE HOUNDS!
Delbert dribbles the ball up for Bramlett. He’s the smallest
kid on the court, by far, but runs the point like a general.
TIME SLOWS as we see DELEVISION: Arrows WHOOSH about.
Probability ratios zip past us (NOTE: We’re seeing Delbert’s
“Beautiful Mind” visuals superimposed over a hoop court).
DELBERT (NARRATION)
Pop a quick three from here?
WHOOSH! A red arrow shows a projected success ratio: 10%.
DELBERT
Or go with a no-look to Bobo?
The ratio rises to 88%. So Delbert fires a no-look pass to
Bobo. Only Bobo isn’t looking either! The ball CONKS off
Bobo’s head and bounces back to Delbert.
An opposing player, NUMBER 9, muscles up against Delbert.
NUMBER 9
GIVE IT UP, PIPSQUEAK!
Delbert darkens. Crosses the kid over so fast, Number 9
FALLS ON HIS BUTT and Delbert hits a jumper!
In the front row of the stands, a tall, breathtakingly
beautiful teen girl DARIA (13) cheers!
DELBERT (NARRATION)
Remember my girlfriend, Daria?
Beside Daria, the screen FLASHES THE PIC OF DARIA from
Delbert’s screensaver. Bad hair, raging acne, bulky braces.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
Right after we went I-G official,
she lost her braces, got a new do,
and her pimples vanished. Now
every guy thinks she’s hotter than
a flaming pirozhki!
BRAMLETT: 42 VISITORS: 44 - 05 SECONDS left to play.
Following DELEVISION arrows, Delbert cuts to the cup.
He rises up for a floater until WHAM! Big Number 9 HAMMERS
Delbert to the floor as BAAAAA! The final buzzer SOUNDS!
ELIZABETH
OH, NO YOU DON’T! FOUL!!!
(rising up)
NUMBER NINE MUGGED HIM, REF! I SEE
YOU, NUMBER NINE?! I SEE YOU!!!
Hal holds his furious wife back.
ON DELBERT LYING ON THE COURT
The ref calls a foul. Despite that, Number 9 taunts Delbert.
NUMBER NINE
Game over, Pipsqueak! Ain’t no way
you hit these shots. GAME OVER!
Pushing Number 9 aside, Bobo bends down to his BFF.
BOBO
You all right, D?! You hurt?!
DELBERT
No, I’m fine... but is she looking?
(off Bobo’s look)
Daria? What’s she doing?
Bobo checks the stands. Spotting Daria, he double-takes.
BOBO
Looking GOOD is what she’s doing!
ON DELBERT AT FREE THROW LINE - MOMENTS LATER
He puts up a confident shot. SWISH. Dr. Stubbs, Elizabeth
and Hal hoot and holler. Beside them, an old GRANNY with
ridiculously tall hair videos the game on her phone.
OLD GRANNY (SOUTHERN DRAWL)
He yours, dearie?
ELIZABETH
Yes. Our son, Delbert. Today’s
his thirteenth birthday.
OLD GRANNY
How’s he get his hair to stand up
like that?
(pats her beehive)
I gotta prop this baby up with
rebar and cement.
ELIZABETH
We’re told it’s just energy pulses.
(to the court)
C’MON, BABY, ONE MORE! ONE MORE!
Stubbs glances at Granny, then focuses back on Delbert.
HAL
I prefer a more cosmic theory.
(off Granny’s look)
I tell Delbert’s he’s a modern-day
Samson. And each hair on his
head’s a tiny antenna capturing
grand emanations and secret powers
from the Universe.
OLD GRANNY
HA-HA! Cosmic antennas, huh?!
(re: her bouffant)
Then I oughta get Disney Plus on
mine!
On closer view, we note Granny’s phone has SPAZMAT printed on
its side.
Granny adjusts the phone’s power.
Delbert’s body shudders and his hair stands higher just as he
releases his second free throw... AIRBALL!
The crowd moans. Stubbs, Hal, and Elizabeth gasp. But
Number 9 jumps for joy. Trash talks a horrified Delbert.
NUMBER 9
CHOKE! WHAT’D I SAY, PIPSQUEAK,
WHAT’D I SAY -- GAME OVER!!!
Delbert stands alone on the free throw line. Devastated.
Genres:
["Drama","Sports","Coming-of-age"]
Ratings
Scene
10 -
The Confrontation in the Shadows
EXT. GYM PARKING LOT - NIGHT
Post game. At the almost-empty parking lot’s far end, we
spot old Granny shuffling along. A voice calls to her.
DR. STUBBS (O.S.)
When did you find us, Dr. Sonya?
Granny turns. Sees Stubbs emerging from the shadows.
OLD GRANNY
Who’s Dr. Sonya? My name’s Martha!
Remarkably, Dr. Stubb’s ears start to smolder, emitting
whisps of smoke. Stubbs SLAMS Granny against a truck. WHAM!
DR. STUBBS
I know it’s you, Sonya!
Snickering, Granny/Sonya breaks character. Reverts back to
her British accent.
OLD GRANNY
You might have changed your name,
but you’re still an insufferable
bore with those lie-detector ears.
WHAM! He slams Granny/Sonya again.
DR. STUBBS
WHEN DID YOU FIND US?!
OLD GRANNY
I’ve been right under your nose for
months. Studying the boy, and you.
The gears are in motion --
DR. STUBBS
I’LL NEVER LET YOU HAVE DELBERT!
OLD GRANNY
He’s already MINE!
Granny’s rock-hard bouffant/hair pistons up and down jack-
hammering Stubbs over and over in the face. PAP-PAP-PAP!
The good doctor folds like a lawn chair.
Granny vibrates back into Sonya. And we see the truck behind
her is the Amazon truck. Big Aussie leaps out and quickly
hauls Dr. Stubbs’ limp body inside as... we DISSOLVE TO:
Genres:
["Sci-Fi","Action","Thriller","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
11 -
A Growth Spurt of Joy
INT. DELBERT’S BEDROOM - MORNING
Delbert’s room is a cross between Da Vinci and LeBron.
The teenager sleeps fitfully until his phone alarm kicks on.
Plays Drake’s classic hit, “What’s My Name?”
Awakening, Delbert sees the same thing he sees every morning:
His list of goals he’s taped to his headboard.
1 YEAR PLAN: GROW TALL ENOUGH TO MAKE VARSITY.
3 YEAR PLAN: GROW TALL ENOUGH TO DUNK.
10 YEAR PLAN: GROW TALL ENOUGH TO MAKE NBA. MARRY DARIA!
INT. KITCHEN - MORNING
Delbert enters, rubbing weary eyes. Elizabeth scrambles eggs.
Hal sits at the table, working his daily crossword app.
ELIZABETH
How we doing, dearheart? Better?
DELBERT
Worse. Three hundred shots a day
for years and I still choked.
(motions to his pants)
And look, my PJs shrunk too.
ELIZABETH
How? I washed them same as always.
Hmm. Mother and son swap a look. Slow, hopeful grins form.
ELIZABETH
Step over to the door, mister man!
Delbert assumes the position at the door jamb. Elizabeth
puts the yardstick to his head and marks the spot.
ELIZABETH
(gapes)
D... you have grown a whole inch!
DELBERT
Really?! You sure? Double check!
ELIZABETH
I did. You are now officially FOUR
FEET EIGHT INCHES TALL, BABY!!!
Jumping for joy, Delbert twirls about with his parents.
DELBERT
HOLY WOW!
Somewhere in the distance, Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” plays.
Genres:
["Drama","Coming-of-age","Family"]
Ratings
Scene
12 -
Awakening the TRIP Potential
EXT. CONDEMNED ASTRONOMICAL OBSERVATORY - DAY
Spooky woods. Razor wire fences. Rusted warning signs:
“KEEP OUT! BUILDING CONDEMNED! VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED”
The Lady Gaga dance music emanates from a massive but long-
abandoned observatory building.
DR. SONYA (O.S.)
Your great TRIP ancestors were born
this way, and so were you!
INT. OBSERVATORY DOME - CONTINUOUS
Oxford TRIP headquarters. Cavernous. Cosmic. Rocking.
Atop the telescope platform, Dr. Sonya (flanked by Aussie)
rouses a cheering group of young men and women in identical
powder blue jumpsuits. Each jumpsuit has a Level One TRIP
name tag. Beach balls get batted about the crowd.
DR. SONYA
TRIPS ARE THIS WORLD’S ORIGINAL
INFLUENCERS! BEHOLD!!
She extends her arm to hi-tech drones projecting fifty-foot-
tall HOLOGRAPHS of famous TRIP figures: Einstein, Tesla,
Churchill, Peyton and Eli Manning...
DR. SONYA
OUR TRIP FOREBEARS helped humanity
progress from smoky caves to the
far reaches of outer space!
More TRIP holos: Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Larry Ellison...
DR. SONYA
Never once seeking credit. Always
living by our sacred TRIP Code...
1. TRIPS DO NO HARM
2. TRIPS LIVE IN SERVICE TO OTHERS
3. TRIPS NEVER REVEAL THEMSELVES
DR. SONYA
But now, my brothers and sisters,
we are dying by that same Code.
Holo images show a shackled RICK in a secret AREA 51 prison
cell. The young LEVEL ONE TRIPs wince at the sight.
DR. SONYA
In the thirteen years our beloved
leader, Rick the Righteous, has
been imprisoned, TRIP world has
been languishing. We no longer
produce anything but LEVEL ONES --
LEVEL ONES like each of you --
LEVEL ONES whose..., uh, “unusual”
abilities are dormant, unrealized.
The TRIPs in the audience look at each other, embarrassed.
DR. SONYA
I spent most of those 13 years in
exile, hiding in Siberia, because
we lacked the power to free our
leader. Until now...
The giant holo morphs into young Delbert, hair raised high.
DR. SONYA
Say hello to Delbert Hotchkiss
Lumpkins. This boy has no idea
he’s one of us. He thinks he’s
just another oddball who doesn’t
belong... but no-no, this boy is so
much more!
(off crowd’s sad sighs)
Delbert Lumpkins is the single most
powerful TRIP born in decades, A
LEVEL SIX AMPLIFIER!!!
The TRIPs cheer loudly.
DR. SONYA
And when Delbert’s Activation Rate
reaches 100%, our beloved leader
Rick, like each of you, will be
AMPLIFIED!!
The TRIPs cheer even louder.
DR. SONYA
Your Level One powers...
(Sonya smirks, mumbles to herself
(“no matter how bizarre...”)
WILL BE AMPLIFIED.
The LEVEL ONE TRIPs go wild, ecstatic.
Genres:
["Science Fiction","Action","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
13 -
The Dog Pack and the Activation Rate
EXT. OXFORD NEIGHBORHOOD STREET - DAY
Delbert and Bobo ride their bikes to school.
BOBO
NOOOOOOO WAY -- A WHOLE INCH?!!!
DELBERT
A whole inch! It’s begun, dude!
I’m even meeting my mom later to
buy bigger pants!
The boys don’t notice a big St. Bernard dog following them.
Moments later, two pugs and a tiny Chihuahua with a pink bow
join the St. Bernard behind Delbert.
BOBO
Pretty soon you won’t have to stand
on your tiptoes to talk to Daria.
DELBERT
Dare to dream!
From a driveway two more dogs join them. Now Bobo notices.
BOBO
WHOOOAAA! D, WATCH OUT!!!
Bobo veers away. The dogs stay with Delbert, however. They
aren’t hostile. Just the opposite. Their tails wag happily.
Delbert swerves his bike, and the dog pack follows, eyes
shining. They’ve even got dog smiles on their faces.
BOBO
What’s up?! They’re following you
like you’re top dog or something?!
DELBERT
Bizarre.
(eyes watering)
Too bad I’m allergic to dogs.
He SNEEZES as the big joyous dog pack passes by a parked...
EXT./INT. AMAZON DELIVERY TRUCK - CONTINUOUS
CLOSE ON holographic numbers tumbling about, calculating.
Delbert’s Activation Rate ticks up from 03% to 05%.
AUSSIE
SPAZMAT’S doing the trick. He’s up
two tics in one day.
DR. SONYA
That’s not fast enough.
(re: SPAZMAT)
We’ll start blasting him twenty-
four/seven.
PULL BACK TO see Sonya and Aussie study an infra-red
holograph of Delbert and the dogs. Sonya regards Delbert’s
bright “aura” on the holo. It matches the dogs’ “auras.”
DR. SONYA
Look at the frequency. It’s so
high he’s drawing the dogs to him --
(through headphones)
Why am I hearing ETHEL MERMAN?!
She spots Aussie taking out his earbuds, sheepish.
AUSSIE
This one’s on me, Dr. S.
(re: SPAZMAT)
Guess my cell’s bleeding over --
Sonya glares and thumps Aussie’s big, round head
The holograph, meanwhile, shows Delbert heading to:
Genres:
["Sci-Fi","Coming of Age","Adventure"]
Ratings
Scene
14 -
Heartbreak at the Drop-Off
EXT. BRAMLETT MIDDLE SCHOOL - DROP OFF AREA - MORNING
The principal, LOUISE LOGAN (60s, hawk-eyed), trolls for rule
breakers. One point of Logan’s index finger, and students
stow phones, straighten up, or just scatter.
Eyes narrowing, Principal Logan sees:
SCHOOL BIKE RACK - DELBERT AND THE PACK OF TWENTY DOGS
The dogs all wag their tails as Delbert locks his Schwinn.
BOBO
(re: oncoming Principal)
What now, Einstein?
Delbert sees Logan’s index fingers pointed at the dogs like
pistols. Trouble. Delbert turns to the dogs, and calmly...
DELBERT
Go home.
Against all odds, the dogs obey him. Turn tail and go home.
Principal Logan veers off and points at some other offending
student. And Bobo gapes at his best friend in awe.
BOBO
Dude!! How’d you do that?
DELBERT
(shrugs)
My dad says dogs know good people.
DARIA (O.S.)
DEL-bert! DEL-bert!
Delbert’s eyes light up as we CUT TO:
DARIA AND DELBERT TALKING - MOMENTS LATER
The striking exchange student smiles down at Delbert. They
make a curious couple. Daria stands six inches taller.
DARIA (HEAVY RUSSIAN ACCENT)
DEL-bert, are you well feeling?
DELBERT (NARRATION)
Isn’t it adorable how she says “DEL-
bert.” Gets me every time.
Smiling up to Daria, Delbert takes her hands in his.
DELBERT
I’ve never been better, ever!
DARIA
Good. I breaking down with you.
DELBERT
What?
DARIA
Oh, I say mistake. “Not breaking
down”. I breaking up with you.
DELBERT
No-no, that’s still a mistake,
you’re not breaking up with me --
DARIA
Yes, I am.
Delbert’s world starts to spin at unnatural angles.
DELBERT
Okay, let’s try this again. I’m
going to say, “Daria, are you
breaking up with me,” and then you
say “no,” okay? Ready?
(then)
Daria, are you breaking up with me?
DARIA
Yes. Yes, am I.
She regards classmates snickering at Delbert on his tiptoes.
DARIA
People laugh at us, DEL-bert.
DELBERT
People have been laughing at me my
whole life. You get used to it.
DARIA
I no want to be used to it. I high,
you not.
DELBERT
You are tall, yes, but I-I-I’m not
short anymore, I’m four foot eight
now.
(trying not to cry)
(MORE)
DELBERT (CONT’D)
No lie, Daria, I’m Gillespie growth
spurting, look at my pants...
VOICE
DARIA!
A Mustang convertible rumbles up. In the driver’s seat is
Delbert’s lifelong bully JOSEPH TILLMAN (now 6’1”, sophomore,
star athlete, think teenage Bradley Cooper with a
condescending sneer). Ignoring Delbert, Tillman smiles at
Daria.
TILLMAN
Will I see you at my game tonight?
He motions to the sprawling OXFORD HIGH SCHOOL across the
street. The campus looks more like a university.
DARIA
Yes, Joseph, I watch you play.
TILLMAN
Excellent.
(finally eyes Delbert)
You crying, lil’ Lumpy?
DELBERT
(wipes away tears)
I have allergies!
TILLMAN
HA! It’s no fun if you don’t cry!
Tillman peels out in a cloud of tire smoke. ERRRRRR! Waving
smoke away, Delbert makes one last appeal to his dream girl.
DELBERT
Daria, you can’t dump me for that
big jerk! I’m your DEL-bert --
DARIA
Joseph drive Mustang...
(re: bike rack)
...You ride Schwinn.
The BELL RINGS as tears fall down Delbert’s cheek.
DISSOLVE TO:
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy","Coming-of-age"]
Ratings
Scene
15 -
A Heartfelt Reunion
EXT./INT. LUMPKINS' SUV - MOVING - AFTERNOON
Elizabeth drives down a tree-lined street. Spots Delbert
riding his bike home. Slowing down, she idles beside him.
ELIZABETH
Hey, Stretch, you stood me up!
(holds up a shopping bag)
It’s no fun buying pants without
you!
Delbert doesn’t want to look her way. Keeps pedaling.
DELBERT
Sorry, I-I forgot.
ELIZABETH
No. You have never forgotten
anything in your life, EVER!
(maternal radar)
What happened?
She pulls her SUV to the shoulder. Delbert hits the brakes.
SIDE OF THE ROAD - MOMENTS LATER
A mother-son exchange. Delbert looks down at his feet.
ELIZABETH
Delbert, tell me what happened.
DELBERT
No. You’ll get all mad and
overprotective and then --
ELIZABETH
Did Daria break up with you?
Delbert looks up, stunned. Elizabeth notes his watery eyes.
DELBERT
How could you know that?
ELIZABETH
‘Cause there aren’t many things in
this world that could make you lose
your smile, but that’s one.
DELBERT
She said I’m too small.
ELIZABETH
Ohhh, my beautiful baby, come here.
Opening her arms, she folds Delbert into a loving embrace.
DELBERT
Why’s it hurt like this, Momma?
ELIZABETH
‘Cause you have a big, loving
heart.
(MORE)
ELIZABETH (CONT’D)
And big hearts like yours feel love
and pain all the more.
(kisses his head)
Might not feel like it right now,
but I promise, it’s still worth it.
Before Elizabeth can say anything more, she realizes they’re
surrounded by a pack of twenty smiling dogs.
ELIZABETH
Delbert, there’s a bunch of dogs --
DELBERT
It’s okay. They like me.
Yes, they do. The adoring dogs close in as we CUT TO:
Genres:
["Drama","Family"]
Ratings
Scene
16 -
Control and Submission
EXT. OBSERVATORY - NIGHT
Through a window, we spot Daria in the observatory kitchen.
INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
The teenager opens the fridge, her pretty face distressed.
She grabs a jar of mayo and eats it out of the jar.
DR. SONYA (O.S.)
You didn’t file your report.
Angry, Daria turns to find Dr. Sonya and Aussie behind her.
DARIA
I try, but... I not know what to
write. Why you make me break up
with DEL-bert? Why?
DR. SONYA
You can ask Rick the Righteous when
we break him out. He ordered it.
DARIA
DEL-bert look so hurting.
DR. SONYA
We’re standing on the front lines
of a bold new future, my pretty.
Perhaps it’s time I show you.
INT. OBSERVATORY - NIGHT
CLOSE ON HOLOGRAPHIC image of Delbert (a la Da Vinci’s
Vitruvian man sketch). Energy particles spin around him.
DR. SONYA (O.S.)
We live in a Universe where we are
all continually bombarded with
gamma rays, dark energy, ionized
particles, and various frequencies
from the cosmos.
We see holographic strands of Delbert’s DNA in his body. But
instead of a double helix... he has a triple helix!
DR. SONYA (O.S.)
To a DUB -- humans with an ordinary
double helix DNA -- this cosmic
energy has little effect. But to a
high-functioning TRIP like Delbert,
energy from the Universe activates
his third helix -- it’s like a key
unlocking a door to quantum powers.
The energy particles fire into the holograph of Delbert’s
brain. His body reacts as bones and muscles begin to grow.
PULL BACK TO see we’re inside the...
AMAZON TRUCK PARKED INSIDE OBSERVATORY
Daria eyes Delbert’s holo growing.
DR. SONYA
With SPAZMAT, I can download
knowledge and skills directly into
Delbert’s triple helix D-N-A. For
example, he could learn Russian in
under a minute.
DARIA
Why you no download English to me?
DR. SONYA
I tried, darling, when we were
still exiled in Russia. It didn’t
take. You’re barely Level One, like
Aussie here, and like every TRIP
we’ve produced the last twenty
years.
A holograph of Daria now appears. SPAZMAT particles stream
to her brain, but they’re rejected. The teen is humiliated.
DR. SONYA
So for you, I activated beauty
instead.
DARIA
And I thankful for that, and for
saving me from mean DUBs in Arctic.
DR. SONYA
You should be very grateful.
(darkens)
So don’t ever question my
instructions EVER again.
To demonstrate the point, Sonya turns a SPAZMAT dial.
Daria gasps in horror as her hair suddenly frizzes. Teeth go
crooked. And a sea of red pimples blooms on her face.
Sonya reverses the dial, and Daria is beautiful again.
DR. SONYA
Are we clear, young lady?
Daria sheepishly nods.
CUT TO:
Genres:
["Science Fiction","Drama","Action"]
Ratings
Scene
17 -
Growing Pains
INT. DELBERT'S BEDROOM - DAY
The teen’s cell/alarm turns on. We hear the classic Skee-lo
rap: “I wish I was a lil’ bit taller, wish I was a baller,
wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her...”
Delbert opens his eyes. Sees his familiar list of goals.
TEN YEAR GOAL: Grow tall enough to make NBA. Marry Daria.
Reaching out, Delbert’s about to tear the list off but stops.
He just can’t bring himself to do it. Plus he sees... the
sleeves of his pajama shirt have gotten shorter.
DELBERT
MOMMA, GRAB THE YARDSTICK!
We see holographic numbers calculate: TARGET ACTIVATION RATE
TICKS UP FROM 05% to 07%
Skee-lo’s rap continues over the following sequence.
SERIES OF SHOTS - KITCHEN DOOR JAMB
-- Elizabeth measures Delbert. Another inch. CHEERS!
(NOTE: Delbert’s ACTIVATION RATE will show on screen. EVERY
INCH DELBERT GROWS, HE TICKS UP TWO MORE PERCENTAGE POINTS).
-- NEXT MORNING: Elizabeth measures. Another inch. CHEERS!
HAL
Woooowee, birthday rain is mighty!
ELIZABETH
Look at my big, beautiful M-B!
DELBERT (NARRATION)
The “M-B” stands for “miracle baby.”
My mom calls me that ‘cause for a
long time she thought she’d end up
alone and childless in the world.
The kitchen MORPHS into a dance floor, complete with a disco
ball. Delbert sees his beloved mother standing alone.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
Then my dad came out of nowhere and
swept her off her feet.
Little, bald Hal physically lifts Elizabeth off her feet.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
Now as much as I love my father,
it’s hard to imagine him sweeping
any lady off her feet.
Hal’s creaky knees buckle, and he drops Elizabeth. THUMP!
-- MORNING: Another inch. More cheers. We also see
Delbert’s Activation Rate ticking up from 11% to 13%.
-- MORNING: Another inch. Hal and Elizabeth cheer less.
-- MORNING: Another inch. The door jamb chart shows Delbert
is now 5’7”. Hal and Elizabeth swap worried glances.
ELIZABETH
Twelve inches in sixteen days -- I
say it’s too much.
DELBERT
I say it’s a good start.
ELIZABETH
We’ll see what Dr. Stubbs says!
Delbert’s Activation Rate now rises from 17% to 19%. And
Skee-lo’s rap ends on: “I wish... I wish... I wish...”
Genres:
["Drama","Coming-of-age"]
Ratings
Scene
18 -
Deception in the Observatory
INT. OBSERVATORY BASEMENT - DAY
Dr. Stubbs sits in an old storage area repurposed to a cell.
AUSSIE (O.S.)
Bon appetit, mate.
Aussie slides lunch through metal cell bars. A tray of raw
onions, jar of mayonnaise, and glass of pickle juice.
DR. STUBBS
I need to speak to Dr. Sonya.
AUSSIE
No can do. Doc ain’t here.
Tiny puffs of smoke emerge from Dr. Stubbs’ ears.
DR. STUBBS
Yes, she is.
(pleading)
She doesn’t realize what she’s
doing to Delbert could kill him!
AUSSIE
Doc would NEVER hurt the boy.
Dr. Stubbs’ ears put out more smoke.
DR. STUBBS
She’ll do whatever Rick says.
With that, Aussie vibrates/MORPHS into Dr. Sonya, then
vibrates/MORPHS again... into Dr. Stubbs.
Dr. Stubbs/Sonya, outside the cell, winks at the real Dr.
Stubbs inside the cell.
DR. STUBBS
I knew it!
MATCH CUT TO:
INT. DR. STUBBS’ OFFICE - DAY
CLOSE ON Dr. Stubbs/Sonya’s smiling face.
DR. STUBBS/SONYA
All the test results are fantastic.
PULL BACK TO see Elizabeth, Hal, and Delbert.
DR. STUBBS
Delbert’s thyroid, pituitary, and
adrenal glands are producing normal
ranges of pubescent hormones.
DELBERT
Wooo, thank you, Doc! I knew I was
good. I knew it! Puberty rocks!
ELIZABETH
So what do we do?
DR. STUBBS
Delbert, give us a moment, please.
The ecstatic teen nods. Steps outside as Stubbs/Sonya gives
Elizabeth and Hal self-serving counsel. She’s convincing.
DR. STUBBS
Here’s what we do, we keep testing
him and keep cheering him on.
(confident smile)
I’ll monitor every step of
Delbert’s Activation Rate --
ELIZABETH
Activation Rate?
DR. STUBBS
Growth. Delbert’s growth rate.
(covers with a chuckle)
Here’s the bottom line: Let’s
celebrate this good fortune. Poor
guy hasn’t had it easy up to now --
HAL
You mean with the hair, and the
farts, and onions, and mayo?
ELIZABETH
And the dogs. Don’t forget the
dogs -- that’s a recent one.
DR. STUBBS
Dogs?
(chuckles)
No, I meant the moon, actually.
Stubbs/Sonya gestures out a window to the twilight sky -- a
full moon is rising. And then to Delbert swaying mindlessly
back and forth, smiling his magnificent smile.
With that, the sound of a BOUNCING BASKETBALL takes us to:
Genres:
["Drama","Sci-Fi","Action"]
Ratings
Scene
19 -
Delbert's Triumph
INT. BRAMLETT MIDDLE SCHOOL - GYM - NIGHT
Players take positions. We recognize a familiar opponent --
Number 9 from the first game. The shocked bully gapes at
Delbert (still swaying to the moon) -- he’s a foot taller.
NUMBER 9
Pipsqueak?! How’d you get so
tall?!
DELBERT
Genetics. Little thing called the
“Gillespie growth spurt.”
(can’t help himself)
Game over, Number 9! Game over!
SMASH CUT TO THE GAME IN DELEVISION: Delbert’s like a TOP
GUN pilot locked and loaded onto enemy aircraft. He blocks
Number 9’s every shot, WHAP-WHAP-WHAP-WHAP-WHAP!!!
IN THE CROWD
Hal, Elizabeth, and Dr. Stubbs/Sonya watch the game and
cheer. Stubbs/Sonya glances at her SPAZMAT phone: DELBERT’S
ACTIVATION RATE ticks from 23% to 25%.
EXT./INT. AMAZON TRUCK - GYM PARKING LOT - CONTINUOUS
CLOSE ON a brilliant holograph of Delbert’s basketball game.
PULL BACK TO Aussie and Daria watching. The holograph shows
SPAZMAT energy streaming into Delbert’s triple-helix DNA.
DARIA
What Dr. Sonya do -- it hurt him?
AUSSIE
A little, maybe...
(off Daria’s worried look)
But he’s a foot taller now and
loving every minute of it. Ya think
he’d ever wanna go back to being
shrimpy lil’ Lumpy -- not a chance!
He motions to the SPAZMAT holograph as the game ENDS. Bobo
and his teammates cheer Delbert. He couldn’t be happier.
MATCH CUT TO:
INT. BRAMLETT MIDDLE SCHOOL - GYM - NIGHT
Post game. Delbert sees his parents with COACH GEORGE
HUMPHREYS (60s).
DELBERT (NARRATION)
My head about exploded when I saw
Mom and Dad with the legend --
that’s George Humphreys, head coach
of Oxford High’s varsity team!
To Delbert’s surprise, his parents wave him over.
ON DELBERT AND COACH HUMPHREYS - MOMENTS LATER
Elizabeth and Hal step back as the Coach meets Delbert.
COACH HUMPHREYS
Great finish to your season, son!
(re: notepad)
(MORE)
COACH HUMPHREYS (CONT’D)
I’ve got you down for twenty
points, eight rebounds, and nine
assists!
DELBERT
Thank you, Coach. I’m more happy
about the six blocks though.
COACH HUMPHREYS
Me too.
(re: Delbert swaying)
Something wrong? You dizzy?
DELBERT
No, sir, I just sway to the moon.
COACH HUMPHREYS
The moon?
(off Delbert’s nod)
And your hair stands up, too?
(off Delbert’s nod)
Yeah, okay, moving on... I want
you to come out for my varsity
team.
DELBERT
Definitely, Coach, I’m already
training for next year --
COACH HUMPHREYS
This year, son. We’ve had a slew of
injuries. I need players pronto.
DELBERT
But I’m only in eighth grade --
COACH HUMPHREYS
Eighth-graders with good academic
standing can play in high school.
(pulls out a form)
And you, young man, are at the top
of your class! So what d’you say?
Delbert’s so excited he hugs the startled Coach. And sways.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
I say miracles really happen...
Genres:
["Drama","Sports","Sci-Fi"]
Ratings
Scene
20 -
Growing Pains
INT. DELBERT’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
CLOSE ON our hero’s list of goals taped to the headboard.
1 YEAR PLAN: GROW TALL ENOUGH TO MAKE VARSITY TEAM.
PULL BACK to see Delbert swaying. Tears of joy on his face.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
A voice in my head kept asking how
I was getting so lucky...
Hooting and hollering, Delbert jumps into his bed.
DELBERT (NARRATION)(CONT’D)
But the rest of me said, “Shut up
and just ENJOY BEING TALL, BABY!!!”
CRACK-SNAP! DELBERT and the mattress THUMP to the floor.
Our young hero has grown too big for his tiny tweener bed.
ON ELIZABETH AND DELBERT - LATER
The broken frame is cleaned up. They’ve now fashioned a
makeshift bed out of his mattress and cushions on the floor.
ELIZABETH
This is what happens when you grow
like a baby giraffe!
DELBERT
Isn’t it great?
She motions to a huge Goodwill box in the corner.
ELIZABETH
You may not think this is so great,
darling. We need to tighten our
belts a notch or two.
Really? He looks in the box. Old-school pants and shirts.
DELBERT
Are we in trouble? Is that why
you’re taking extra work shifts?
ELIZABETH
It’s part of it.
(how to say it)
Daddy’s firm told him if he doesn’t
take a pay cut, they’ll let him go.
DELBERT
Fire him? He’s worked there since
before I was born!
ELIZABETH
Not everyone appreciates Daddy’s
lil’ “quirks” the way we do.
(smiles at the thought)
I can only imagine the things he
must say to clients.
Delbert doesn’t have to imagine. DELEVISION kicks in, and
his bedroom wall momentarily MORPHS into:
INT. HAL LUMPKINS’ CPA CUBICLE - DAY
Hal goes over the tax returns of a SMARMY COUPLE.
HAL (SING-SONG)
Billy Mack is a detective down in
Texas -- you know he knows just
exactly what the facts is -- he
ain't gonna let you two escape
justice -- he makes his livin' off
of the people's taxes --
SMARMY HUSBAND
Texas? We’re in Mississippi. What
are you saying, man?!
HAL
I’m saying if you file this return,
sir, federal prison might be in
your future.
The Smarmys glare back at Hal as we DISSOLVE TO:
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
21 -
Hallway Encounters
INT. OXFORD MIDDLE SCHOOL - HALL - DAY
Kids snicker and point. Following their gazes, we see...
Delbert’s Goodwilled head-to-toe. Dressed in funky yellow
corduroy overalls and an aqua Miami Vice tee-shirt.
DELBERT (V.O.)
Sell it with a smile. Clothes
don’t make the man, attitude does.
He passes Principal Logan. She points at him. And smiles.
DELBERT (V.O.)
Alright, alright, good start!
Just then someone grabs Delbert from behind and SLAMS him
against the lockers. It’s Bobo. He’s not happy.
BOBO
First Coach Humphreys asks you to
play varsity, now this!
DELBERT
What?
BOBO
YOU ARE OFFICIALLY TALLER THAN ME!
It’s true. Delbert’s ecstatic. He smiles down at his BFF.
DELBERT
Don’t be sad, little fella.
BOBO
You think it’s funny?! Being tall
was the ONLY thing I did better
than you, dude. Now I got squat!
DELBERT
You still got me, and that’ll never
change --
DARIA (O.S.)
DEL-bert!
DELBERT
(shoves Bobo aside)
Beat it, dude.
DARIA
Can we little bit talk, DEL-bert?
ON DARIA AND DELBERT - MOMENTS LATER
They talk together in the busy hallway. Nearby, a hefty,
MULLETED JANITOR mops.
DARIA
I want say you have big heart, and
I... I sorry I break it.
DELBERT (V.O.)
Be cool, Delbert, be cool.
(coaching himself)
Do NOT say anything desperate. Just
tilt your neck like you hardly even
notice her and say, “Whatever.”
Delbert tilts his neck and says...
DELBERT
I’ve missed you sooooo much, Daria.
DARIA
DEL-bert, you not should miss me.
CONK. The janitor accidentally jabs Daria with the mop
handle. OW! Delbert ushers her out of harm’s way.
DELBERT
You all right?
(off Daria’s nod)
Daria... why shouldn’t I miss you?
DARIA
Because I watch Joseph now.
DELBERT
Then why do I get a feeling, a
strong feeling, you miss me too.
CONK! The janitor gives her another jab to the head. Ow!
DELBERT
Hey, sir, lookout!
MULLETED JANITOR
YOU LOOK OUT! I’M MOPPING HERE!
The janitor grumbles and huffs. Delbert wheels back to
Daria, but she’s vanished into the current of students.
And when he turns back to the janitor... he’s gone too. All
he sees is a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WITH RED HAIR WALKING AWAY.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
The little voice in my head told me
something strange was happening...
Delbert’s mind reels in confusion as we CUT TO:
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama","Coming-of-Age"]
Ratings
Scene
22 -
Delbert's Icy Hallucination
INT. OXFORD HIGH SCHOOL - GYM - DAY
Home of the Bulldogs. Delbert enters, awestruck.
Compared to the cracker box gyms he’s used to -- this place
is palatial. He scans parquet floors. Seats rising to the
rafters. Jumbotron/scoreboard. Championship banners.
Then... oddly, the air grows cold inside the gym. And the
ground under Delbert’s Nikes turns to frozen ice.
Gaping in disbelief, Delbert sees the gym MORPH into the same
icy ARCTIC CIRCLE TUNNELS we saw in the opening.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
Things kept getting more strange...
I was looking at a memory -- but
one I never knew I had.
A big snowcat races Delbert’s way. Closing his eyes, he
dives to the snow.
DELBERT
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
COACH HUMPHREYS (O.S.)
What on earth are you doing, boy?
Opening his eyes, Delbert sees he’s NO LONGER IN THE ICY
TUNNEL. He’s on the gym floor at... Coach Humphreys’ shoes.
DELBERT
Coach, if I answer that question,
you’re going to think I’m strange.
COACH HUMPHREYS
Too late. That ship sailed when I
saw you swaying to the moon.
Delbert rises to his feet. The Coach’s eyes narrow.
Extending his left hand, he uses it like a measuring stick.
COACH HUMPHREYS
Did you get taller? Yesterday you
were “here.”
(measures with right hand)
Now you’re “here.”
DELBERT
I grow fast, Coach.
COACH HUMPHREYS
HA! My favorite kind of strange!
(delighted smile)
Little advice. It’s your first
game, so just try to fit in.
DELBERT
I’m not so good at that, Coach.
COACH HUMPHREYS
Then how about this: Don’t do
nothing stupid.
Off Delbert’s stupid smile CUT TO:
Genres:
["Drama","Sports","Fantasy"]
Ratings
Scene
23 -
Stand Up and Bark Back
INT. OXFORD HIGH SCHOOL - LOCKER ROOM - NIGHT
CLOSE ON an overeager bulldog, BRUCEY (team mascot), happily
jumping on Delbert’s leg. PULL BACK TO see Coach Humphreys
introducing Delbert to his new varsity teammates.
COACH HUMPHREYS
Delbert was a standout on his
middle-school team, and now he’s
gonna be a Bulldog!
Delbert’s dog allergy kicks in. He sneezes as we PAN OVER TO
our hero’s new teammates.
A 6’3” center scoffs. And Joseph Tillman, shirtless and
ripped, gasps (He and Delbert are now the same 6’1” height).
TILLMAN
CRYBABY?!
DELBERT’S LOCKER - LATER
Seated on a bench, Delbert eyes his blue and white Bulldog
uniform. His dream is coming true. Until...
TILLMAN (O.S.)
What the heck, man! You been
putting fertilizer in your shoes?!
Delbert sees Tillman and three other teammates looming.
DELBERT
I had a Gillespie growth spurt --
TILLMAN
That’s way more than a spurt!
(shakes his head)
Hundred bucks says you’re juicing!
DELBERT
Yeah. Sometimes, I blend smoothies.
TILLMAN
No, idiot, H-G-H, human growth
hormones, steroids! You get caught,
the whole team can get D-Q’d...
Tillman keeps spouting poison, but his voice fades away...
DELBERT (NARRATION)
There it was. The Tillman sneer
I’d seen too many times before.
DELEVISION images appear: Delbert sees rapid versions of
Tillman’s sneering face over the years -- bullying him.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
Then it hit me. Part of growing up
means standing up for yourself.
Rising tall, Delbert cuts off the bully mid-rant.
DELBERT
Yeah, okay, it’s my turn to talk!
(off Tillman’s surprise)
And I got three things to say. One:
I am NOT Crybaby anymore --
TILLMAN
Wrong! You’ll always be Crybaby!
DELBERT
Two: The days of you bullying me
are over.
TILLMAN
Wrong again, freakshow. They’re
just beginning!
Tillman pushes in nose-to-nose. Despite our young hero’s
fear, he screws up his courage.
DELBERT
And Three: I’m getting Daria back.
WHUMP! Tillman gut-punches Delbert, doubling him over.
TILLMAN
You gonna cry?
(sneers)
It ain’t no fun if you don’t cry!
DELBERT
(strains)
“Ain’t no fun” is a double
negative. Been meaning to tell you.
TILLMAN
That’s it, YOU’RE TOAST!!!
Tillman rears back to wallop Delbert’s face, until...
TILLMAN
OWWWWWWWWW!, MY BUTT!!!
Crying out in pain, Tillman wheels around to reveal Brucey
Bulldog is chomped onto his butt, and he ain’t letting go.
TILLMAN
Get Brucey off me! GET HIM OFF!
DELBERT
(knowing grin)
... dogs know good people.
A high school band plays the BULLDOG FIGHT SONG as we CUT TO:
Genres:
["Sports","Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
24 -
Frantic Disruption at the Game
EXT. OXFORD HIGH SCHOOL - GYM - NIGHT
A big crowd of fans and family fill the stands. Among them,
we see Elizabeth, Hal, Bobo, and Dr. Stubbs/Sonya. Dr.
Stubbs/Sonya hits enter on her SPAZMAT phone: TRIP FREQUENCY
LINKING...
EXT./INT. AMAZON TRUCK IN PARKING LOT - NIGHT
Aussie adjusts SPAZMAT to bring up a miniature 3-D holograph
of the hoop court.
In the gym, the lights are dimmed. A spotlight shows the
starting Oxford players being introduced like an NBA game.
ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
Last but not least, your six foot
one, leading scorer, sophomore
guard JOSEPH TILLMAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
Aussie leans back in his chair, puts in his ear buds and
brings up a music video on his cell phone.
He hears a LOUD POP outside the truck, which shakes and tilts
suddenly hard to the right.
Aussie puts his cell phone down next to SPAZMAT.
Hurrying outside, Aussie sees the truck’s right front tire
has blown out.
What he doesn’t see, however, is...
DARIA
...sneaking into the truck. In frantic rush, Daria tries to
disable the SPAZMAT.
DARIA
I must stop Dr. Sonya. I can’t let
her hurt DEL-bert.
Daria pulls the SPAZMAT cell from its slot and places it on
the desk next to AUSSIE’S CELL PHONE. Daria tries to yank
cords out from the SPAZMAT base -- it’s no use. The
holograph still shows the 3-D basketball court intros.
Hearing Aussie grumbling as he returns, Daria refits the cell
back into its slot
Only she mistakenly puts in Aussie’s cell phone instead.
Daria leaps out a rear door as Aussie climbs in the front.
The holo shows A HUGE BURST OF ENERGY PARTICLES STREAMING
INTO DELBERT’S HEAD.
SPAZMAT scrolls: NEW FILES LOADING...NEW FILES LOADING...NEW
FILES LOADING...NEW FILES LOADING...NEW FILES LOADING...
MATCH CUT TO:
Genres:
["Drama","Sci-Fi","Sports"]
Ratings
Scene
25 -
From Outcast to Hero: Delbert's Dramatic Turn
INT. OXFORD HIGH SCHOOL - GYM - CONTINUOUS
The lights are still dimmed from the introductions. Coach
Humphreys gives a pep talk to his huddled team.
COACH HUMPHREYS
Hit the court running, men! We
need to get our fans on their feet!
Delbert begins to shake, then vibrate. His hair rises
dramatically as some inexplicable force compels him to peel
away from Coach Humphreys’ huddle...
He grabs a LIVE MICROPHONE from the nearby announcer’s table.
MID-COURT SPOTLIGHT
Brucey the Bulldog follows Delbert into the white spotlight.
Delbert (astonishing himself) now begins to belt out a grand,
over-the-top Broadway show tune from the 1960s...
DELBERT (SINGING)
I had a dream... a dream about you,
baby. It’s gonna come true,
baby...
Surrendering to the song’s energy, Delbert gesticulates and
high kicks. His teammates and coaches watch, flabbergasted.
COACH HUMPHREYS
Good God in heaven...
TILLMAN
No way!
(laughing out loud)
Told y’all he’s a freak, didn’t I?!
DELBERT (SINGING)
You’ll be swell, you’ll be great.
Gonna have the whole world on a
plate. Starting here, starting
now, honey, everything’s coming up
roses...
The entire crowd (including Dr. Stubbs/Sonya) gapes as well.
ELIZABETH
What on Earth is our child doing?
HAL
A show-stopper, that’s what. Must
be a rookie initiation thing.
The H.S. band leader listens... then -- TAP TAP TAP -- his
conductor’s wand. Rallies the band to give Delbert musical
support.
DELBERT (SINGING)
Curtain up, light the lights, you
got nothing to hit but the heights.
You’ll be swell, you’ll be great, I
can tell, just you wait.
The teenager’s unlikely performance is indeed a showstopper.
Stubbs/Sonya looks down at her SPAZMAT cell. Sees an old
video of Ethel Merman singing the song on Broadway.
Delbert is matching Ethel’s theatrical movements to a tee.
EXT./INT. AMAZON TRUCK OUTSIDE THE GYM - CONTINUOUS
Changing the tire, Aussie hears the song wafting out from the
gym. Rushing into the truck, he sees Delbert’s hologram
belting out Aussie’s favorite show tune.
Aussie gapes, entranced. A true devotee/fan.
AUSSIE
Sweet nectar of the gods! You’re a
diva, Delbert, a diva!
(eyes watering)
But can you nail the big finish?!
With that, MATCH CUT from Delbert’s hologram to Delbert at:
INT. GYM - MID-COURT - CONTINUOUS
The big finish. And Delbert’s giving it his Broadway best.
DELBERT
That lucky star I talk about is
DUEEEEE! HONEY, EVERYTHING’S
COMING UP ROSES FOR ME AND FOR
YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
Spreading his arms, Delbert strikes a TA-DAH pose!
The gym is dead silent. Striding forward, Humphreys snatches
the microphone from Delbert. Seethes through gritted teeth.
COACH HUMPHREYS
You just made your first game your
last! Go clear out your locker!
From the darkness, scattered clapping erupts into a tsunami
of APPLAUSE and CHEERS. The gym lights come on.
The stunned crowd gives Delbert a raucous standing ovation.
DELBERT
Coach, you said you wanted to see
our fans on their feet, right?
He sure did. The legendary coach softens as we CUT TO:
INT. OXFORD HIGH SCHOOL - GYM - NIGHT
Titans vs. Bulldogs. Loud and rowdy. Cheerleaders kick and
pom-pom.
Scoreboard: 4TH QUARTER. 1:50 to play. OXFORD: 61 - VISITORS:
SHREEE! A Bulldog player whistled for a foul.
COACH HUMPHREYS
That’s Skeeter’s fifth. He’s out.
Humphreys has no players left to put in except Delbert.
COACH HUMPHREYS
Get ready, Show Tunes. We’re up by
seven, just play tough D and don’t
turn the ball over -- you follow?
QUICK SERIES OF SHOTS - FINAL MINUTE OF THE GAME
-- Delbert’s so nervous he dribbles the ball off his foot.
The Titans convert a three-pointer on the next play.
It gets worse. Delbert commits another turnover. The Titans
sink another three. Tillman barks to his teammates.
TILLMAN
Hey, Crybaby’s done! He does NOT
touch the rock again, got it?!
-- The next play, Delbert is wide open under the basket. No
one will pass to him. After a Tillman miss, the Titans make
another three. Titans up by two points. A total collapse.
-- Final three seconds. Titans have the ball. All is lost.
-- The Titan inbounder arcs a long crosscourt pass. With
DELEVISION arrows and players flying every which way, Delbert
intercepts the pass.
ONE SECOND... Putting up a forty-foot prayer, Delbert shoots.
BAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! The red light goes on as... SWISH!
Pandemonium! Delbert’s gone from heel to hero. Bulldog
players swarm their rookie teammate. Fans flood the court.
Genres:
["Musical","Sports","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
26 -
Activation Revelation
INT. AMAZON TRUCK - NIGHT
Post game. Dr. Sonya and Daria join Aussie in the truck.
WHAM! Dr. Sonya slams Aussie to the wall.
AUSSIE
It’s not my fault, Dr. S! My bet’s
on Daria. She’s lovesick, she is!
Sonya cranes back at Daria nearby. “Well?”
DARIA
Me? I only Level One. How I make
DEL-bert sing stupid song?
AUSSIE
Stupid song? How dare you! THAT
BOY BROUGHT ETHEL MERMAN TO LIFE!!!
DR. SONYA
AUSSIE!
(snatches his cell)
Were any other files downloaded
into the boy?!
AUSSIE
It-it’s possible --
DR. SONYA
How possible?!
AUSSIE
One hundred percent possible. I’m
a Premium YouTube member.
Expecting Sonya to whack him again, Aussie cowers.
But she doesn’t. Instead she eyes the SPAZMAT screen showing
Delbert’s holo numbers calculating. His Activation Rate
vaults from 27%... to 47%.
Sonya’s face brightens with joy as we CUT TO:
A YOUTUBE VIDEO OF SAXOPHONIST PERFORMING DANCE MONKEY.
The SCREEN SPLITS, SHOWING US A SECOND SCREEN OF:
Genres:
["Drama","Sci-Fi","Musical"]
Ratings
Scene
27 -
Delbert's YouTube Transformation
INT. BRAMLETT MIDDLE SCHOOL - MUSIC ROOM - DAY
Delbert’s Activation Rate flashes at 55% as he walks past the
empty room. Noticing a saxophone inside, he stops, then
enters as if drawn to the brass instrument.
The YouTube video PIXELATES into energy particles... the
particles flow to Delbert... as he takes over the FULL
SCREEN... and jams out Dance Monkey like a master musician.
Bobo and others flood into the music room.
BOBO
Since when do you play saxophone?
(NOTE: The song continues over the following sequence. And
we again see Delbert’s activation rates climbing upward.)
MONTAGE - DELBERT GETS DOWNLOADED
Two weeks of downloads, games, and growth in two minutes.
-- Split screen. On one side: Delbert and Bobo ride bikes
to school. The happy pack of dogs beside them.
On the other screen: A YOUTUBE VIDEO OF A BURLY GUY SNEEZING
SO HARD HE KNOCKS HIS CAT OFF A TABLE. The sneeze video
pixelates over to Delbert as he takes over the FULL SCREEN.
Delbert lets out an explosive sneeze. AH-CHOOOOOOOOOOO! The
sneeze is so powerful he knocks Bobo off his bicycle.
Delbert’s Activation Rate FLASHES... 65%.
-- VIDEO OF BRUCE LEE BREAKING A CONCRETE BLOCK WITH HIS HEAD.
Bruce pixelates into DELBERT. He’s now all fists of fury.
Delbert’s Activation Rate FLASHES... 78%.
Instead of breaking a concrete block, however, Delbert
crushes a watermelon with his forehead. As red watermelon
flies all over Bobo, we CUT TO:
-- DR. STUBBS OFFICE. Another Delbert check-up. Stubbs/Sonya
listens to Elizabeth, Hal and Delbert explain the latest.
ELIZABETH
Every day, he just keeps growing and
growing, and now he can do things.
DELBERT
I can dunk now, Doc!
DR. STUBBS/SONYA
Super! Nothing to worry about!
ELIZABETH
At breakfast Delbert sneezed so
hard he about killed Hal.
DELBERT
It’s true. I accidentally sent
Daddy flying right through the
wall. Sorry, Daddy.
HAL
Don’t be. I enjoyed the flight.
ELIZABETH
Last night, I heard Delbert talking
Chinese in his sleep.
DELBERT
(Chinese with subtitles)
Cantonese. Pretty cool, huh?
Delbert’s Activation Rate FLASHES... 82%.
-- DELBERT DUNKS OVER TWO OPPOSING PLAYERS
Delbert’s Activation Rate rises to... 90%.
-- SUPER digital headlines: DELBERT SAVES SEASON... BULLDOGS
WIN SEVEN STRAIGHT!... ALL HAIL HAIR-RAISING LUMPKINS!”
Delbert’s Activation Rate remains at... 90%.
-- YOUTUBE OF A WOMAN AND HER DOG DANCING IN PERFECT SYNCH.
The screen pixelates into...
DELBERT LINE-DANCING WITH HIS DOG PACK. It’s a remarkable
sight to see. Bobo pulls out his phone to take a video.
Unfortunately, Delbert lets loose another explosive sneeze,
sending Bobo flying off his feet out of the shot.
BOBO (O.S.)
DUUUUUUUUUUUDE!
DELBERT
Sorry.
Bobo limps back into view. And Delbert sneezes again, sending
his haggard best friend right back out of sight. WHOOOSH!
PULL BACK TO see the Amazon truck. Dr. Sonya watches in
dismay as Delbert’s activation rate again remains at... 90%.
-- A YOUTUBE OF A WOMAN DOING IMPOSSIBLE PARKOUR MOVES.
WHOOSH! She dives, barrel-rolls, flips, and spins off walls.
-- The video flips to Delbert chasing a ball at a HOOP GAME.
In one motion, Delbert makes an impossible dive into the
crowd... barrel-rolling mid-air, he whips the ball back to
the play... then bounces off the bleachers... the gym wall...
then flips back onto the court to... nail a dunk.
DELBERT
WOOOOO, WE’RE GOING TO THE
PLAYOFFS, GUYS! THE PLAYOFFS!!!
The gym erupts... his teammates cheer and pat his back --
save for Tillman. We see Delbert’s now a head taller than
his rival. For our young hero, life has never been sweeter.
-- INTERNET HEADLINE: “GILLESPIE GROWTH SPURT OR SOMETHING
DARKER?” We see “before and after” photos of Delbert, pre-
growth and post-growth. He’s shot up from 4’7 to 6’7.
The YOUTUBE TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE CLOSES ON Delbert’s
Activation Rate still hard-fixed at... 90%.
The image fades until it becomes the FULL WHITE CANVAS we
recognize from earlier telepathic exchanges between the twin
siblings, and we hear Britney Spears giving it her all:
“Oops I did it again...”
DR. SONYA (PRE-LAP)
It’s all been for nothing, Rick!
The WHITE CANVAS and pop classic take us back to:
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy","Fantasy"]
Ratings
Scene
28 -
Frozen Schemes
INT. RICK THE RIGHTEOUS’ FROZEN AREA 51 CELL - NIGHT
CLOSE ON a shirtless, shackled Rick. The icicles on his hair
and beard clatter as he dances away to Britney’s song.
PULL BACK TO see Sonya standing before her beloved brother
(NOTE: The twins are TELEPATHING).
DR. SONYA
Rick, SPAZMAT can’t get the boy
past ninety percent!
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
That means we’re only ten percent
away from turning this wretched
world inside out.
DR. SONYA
But he’s plateaued --
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
Then get him UNPLATEAUED!
(catches himself)
Cull him from his family and
friends so he’s lost and alone,
n’est-ce pas?!
DR. SONYA
Well, then what?
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
CHERCHEZ LA FEMME!!
(off Sonya’s look) DARIA!! Use
Daria to reel him back in.
DR. SONYA
(brightens, realizing)
Brilliant! Now I see why you made
her break it off -- you knew this
would happen!
Rick dances as his frozen prison cell MORPHS INTO:
Genres:
["Drama","Sci-Fi","Musical"]
Ratings
Scene
29 -
Rumors and Revelations
EXT. OXFORD HIGH - COURT - NIGHT
Post victory. Teeming with fans, cheerleaders, and players.
Coach Humphreys introduces CLYDE BARNUM (60s) to Bobo and the
Lumpkins.
COACH HUMPHREY
This is Clyde Barnum, head of our
high school athletic board.
BARNUM
Mr. and Mrs. Lumpkins, it’s been a
thrill watching your boy grow and
become such a standout.
ELIZABETH
(looks up to Delbert)
Tall runs in our family.
BARNUM
So glad to hear it.
(changes gears)
‘Cause there’s been quite a bit of
negative chatter on social media.
BOBO
Yeah, a bunch of lies.
BARNUM
No doubt. And that’s why we want
to quiet the chatter straight away.
ELIZABETH
How?
Barnum holds a sealed bag marked PED DRUG TEST.
ELIZABETH
You want to drug test my child?
TILLMAN (O.S.)
YEAH, GO ON AND TEST HIM ALREADY!
KID’S A FREAK. HE AIN’T RIGHT --
Elizabeth whip-cranes. Spots Tillman behind them. Suddenly
unnerved, Tillman’s slinks away from Delbert’s momma bear.
BOBO
That guy there, Tillman -- he’s the
jerk who started all that chatter!
BARNUM
(re: bag)
So let’s be the ones who end it.
DELBERT
Okay. I have nothing to hide, sir.
COACH HUMPHREYS
You’re a good man, Show Tunes.
Delbert grins, grateful. Takes the sealed bag.
DELBERT
Plus I’ve had to pee since fourth
quarter --
ELIZABETH
Not so fast! I want Dr. Stubbs
making sure everything’s just so!
BARNUM
Excellent idea. I saw him just a
few moments ago. I’ll get him.
Barnum walks off into the crowd. Elizabeth, Hal, and Bobo
scan the crowded court for Stubbs.
We TRACK Barnum striding behind the cheerleaders. We watch as
he shakes and vibrates... and when Barnum reappears he’s
now... Dr. Stubbs/Sonya, and joins Bobo and the Lumpkins.
DR. STUBBS/SONYA
Hey, there, pal. How’s my number
one favorite patient?
Delbert (desperately needing to pee) smiles as we PULL BACK
TO see...
Daria watches the events unfold. She’s torn. Knows
something bad is about to happen but can’t stop it...
Genres:
["Drama","Sports","Mystery"]
Ratings
Scene
30 -
Growing Pains
INT. DELBERT’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Later that same night, Bobo and Delbert play a video game.
BOBO (PRE-LAP)
Look at the gorilla! It’s YOU!
ON THE VIDEO GAME
A tiny gorilla (AKA Grozilla) runs through a forest, eating
anything in his path -- mushrooms, apples, rabbits. With
each bite, he grows BIGGER, and his clothes get TIGHTER.
BOBO
You’re straight up Grozilla!
(re: Delbert’s short PJs)
You keep growing and growing! He’s
even got your Capri pants!
The friends razz each another as Grozilla gobbles on. His
big hands and huge butt cheeks grow faster and faster.
DELBERT
Since when do you know Capri pants?
BOBO
I’ve been studying fashion trends.
DELBERT
For what?
BOBO
For getting a girlfriend. I need
material. Topics to discuss.
(gasps at the game)
MY GOD, GROZILLA ATE A CAT!
DELBERT
So you plan on talking ladies’
fashion with a future girlfriend?
BOBO
Not everyone’s lucky as you --
Daria barely spoke English when you
met.
DELBERT
Look how that turned out.
BOBO
Dude, why’re you still tripping on
her? Was she, like, the world’s
greatest smoocher or something?
Delbert doesn’t respond. Just eyes the photo of Daria still
on his wall. Bobo sighs and reads his friend.
BOBO
No, nooooo way! You never kissed
Daria, did you? Did you?!
DELBERT
Now you know my shame.
Bobo huffs and shoves his best friend with both hands.
BOBO
Wake up and smell the stupid!
(off Delbert’s surprise)
Your whole life people dumped
garbage on you, beat you up, called
you freak, and now they’re like
shouting YOUR NAME. You’re a star,
Delbert. HIGH SCHOOL cheerleaders
wave their pom-poms at you -- move
on, man. Grow up!!!
DELBERT
You’re right. You are SO right.
The boys laugh it up, like only best friends can.
On the monitor, Grozilla grows SO LARGE HIS BODY WEDGES INTO
THE FRAME as KA-BAM! The screen explodes and we CUT TO:
Genres:
["Comedy","Coming-of-age"]
Ratings
Scene
31 -
Secrets and Sneeze
EXT. OXFORD MIDDLE SCHOOL - ENTRANCE - NEXT DAY
Big Delbert (on his little bike) rides up to a bike rack
alongside Bobo and the pack of twenty dogs. Seeing Delbert’s
about to sneeze, Bobo braces against a tree. AH-CHOOO!
The force of Delbert’s hurricane sneeze literally RIPS off
Bobo’s clothes right down to his tighty-whities.
BOBO
DUDE!
DELBERT
Sorry, bro.
Crowds of students laugh. Delbert removes his Goodwill,
retro, neon pink jacket and hands it to his half-naked
friend.
As Bobo puts it on... Delbert gets rapid texts from Daria.
-- SPIES WATCHING
-- LEAVE BOBO
-- TAKE LEFT HALLWAY
-- STOP @ 3 DOOR ON RIGHT
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
Delbert strides down the empty hall. Stops at the third door
on the right: FACULTY LADIES ROOM. Can this be right?
Yes. The door BANGS open. A hand grabs Delbert’s arm and
yanks him inside really hard.
INT. LADIES’ ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Delbert’s eyes widen. Shocked to see...
DELBERT
Daria? You about broke my arm!
DARIA
No one can see us talk --
DELBERT
I don’t care if people see us.
DARIA
You must care. It make danger.
(off Delbert’s look)
You wonder why I say this, yes?
Realizing she’s still holding his hand, Delbert smiles. And
DELEVISION words and numbers appear all around her: PULSE
QUICKENING. B.P. RISING. PUPILS DILATING. LIP QUIVERING.
DELBERT
Yeah, I’m wondering a lot of
things. Like is Tillman still your
boyfriend?
DARIA
Yes. With Joseph, I not afraid.
(then, sincere)
But with you, I very afraid.
DELBERT
Afraid of me? Why? I wasn’t even
tall when you dumped me.
DARIA
DEL-bert, I make lie to you.
(off Delbert’s look)
I not break up with you ‘cause I
more high than you.
DELBERT
Then why?
DARIA
Two reason. First: I break up
with you to be me again -- to be
strong Daria from Siberia.
(eyes moistening)
When I with you, I just a silly
girl who like a boy too much.
DELBERT
That’s a good thing, Daria --
DARIA
No. Is not good.
DELBERT
So what’s the second reason?
DARIA
What I about to tell you will
change you life forever --
Before Daria can finish, she catches her reflection in the
mirror. Red pimples sprouting. Silky hair frizzing.
DARIA
Ohhhhhh, no! She know. I must go!
Flipping up her hoodie, Daria races out the door.
DELBERT
WAIT! WHAT’S THE SECOND REASON?!
A half-second later the door BANGS open. Principal Louise
Logan (who clearly needed to pee ten minutes ago) rushes in.
PRINCIPAL LOGAN
DETENTION, MR. LUMPKINS!!!
Moving Delbert aside, she heads into the first stall. A
stream of pee sounds followed by FRRRT, a big gas blast.
PRINCIPAL LOGAN (O.S.)
You didn’t hear that.
DELBERT
Ma’am, I wish I hadn’t.
PRINCIPAL LOGAN
No detention -- if you didn’t hear
that.
DELBERT
Hear what, ma’am?
Delbert flies out the door as we CUT TO:
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama","Romance"]
Ratings
Scene
32 -
Public Humiliation and Ominous Transformation
EXT./INT. TILLMAN’S MUSTANG - MOVING - DAY
The handsome bully grins as he streams himself on IG while
driving. At the corner, he videos Daria waiting for him.
TILLMAN
Look how fine my lady is, y’all!
He pulls the car beside her, still streaming. His grin dies.
Daria is back to the Daria of old. Face flush with pimples.
Hair unruly. Wet eyes tell us she’s been crying.
TILLMAN
Yeah, okay, I don’t know what’s up
with your face, but this is me
breaking up with YOU, I-G official!
(mugs for his stream)
J-T’s back on the market, WOOOO!!
EEERRRR! Burning rubber, Tillman peels out. Leaves poor
Daria alone in a cloud of smoke.
DR. SONYA (O.S.)
How’s it feel to be ugly again?
The Siberian teen turns to see Sonya behind her.
DARIA
(defiant smile)
I never feel more beautiful --
DR. SONYA
Then you’re not just ugly, Daria,
you’re stupid.
Dr. Sonya gestures and the Amazon truck stops next to Daria,
its doors open. Aussie yanks Daria into the truck. The door
slams, and it speeds her away.
Dr. Sonya vibrates/morphs into Daria, not a single blemish on
her flawless face.
Fifty yards away, she sees Delbert riding his bike over to
the Oxford high campus. Daria/Sonya eyes Delbert’s
Activation Rate on her SPAZMAT phone. It’s still 90%.
DARIA/SONYA
Buckle up, DEL-bert. This last ten
percent is going to leave a scar.
CUT TO:
Genres:
["Drama","Teen","Supernatural"]
Ratings
Scene
33 -
The Breaking Point
INT. OXFORD HIGH SCHOOL - GYM - NIGHT
PAN OVER ten angry young faces. Delbert’s Bulldog teammates.
TILLMAN
Lil’ Lumpy screwed us all.
(through gritted teeth)
I’m so stinking mad I can’t even
enjoy being RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING!
PULL BACK TO see the big gym is mostly empty. It’s pre-game
and Coach Humphreys is talking to Delbert.
Humphreys hands Delbert a printout. Delbert reads in shock.
DELBERT
No, this is wrong. It’s a MISTAKE!
DELEVISION SHOWS US DELBERT’S DRUG TEST RESULTS: A LIST OF
BANNED SUBSTANCES FOUND IN HIS BODY. FAIL-FAIL-FAIL!!!
COACH HUMPHREYS
There’s no mistake, Show Tunes.
Your own doctor ran multiple tests.
(shakes his head)
The athletic board’s forfeiting our
wins in every game you played --
DELBERT
NO, THESE RESULTS ARE A LIE!
COACH HUMPHREYS
My guess is you’re in for hard
times, Delbert. Folks are gonna
want a pound of flesh --
Tillman stomps menacingly toward Delbert, fists cocked.
TILLMAN
YOU RUINED OUR SEASON, FREAK!
Before Delbert or Humphreys can react, Brucey the Bulldog
races out of nowhere and GROWLS menacingly at Tillman,
stopping the bully in his tracks.
COACH HUMPHREYS
You best go home now, son, before
things get any worse.
Feeling dazed, Delbert walks out shaking his head.
Genres:
["Drama","Sports"]
Ratings
Scene
34 -
Confrontation at Twilight
EXT. LUMPKINS’ STREET - TWILIGHT
Delbert rides his bike home in a ‘80s sweatsuit and “Miami
Vice” T-shirt. (His pack of dogs is hot on his heels.)
DELEVISION SHOWS A SOCIAL MEDIA NIGHTMARE CIRCLING ALL AROUND
OUR HERO. FURIOUS FACES APPEAR: CHEAT! FAKE! LIAR!
LOSER! DOPER! RUINED SEASON! DESTROY DELBERT...!
In his driveway, Delbert spots FOUR PEOPLE (20s). He
realizes two of them are videoing him on their cells.
DELEVISION words circle about them: REPORTERS. STREAMERS.
YOUTUBER JUJI
Delbert Lumpkins, I’m YouTuber Juji
with the NewsWeird channel!
(points her microphone)
Wow! The whole dog thing’s real?!
DELBERT
They’re my friends.
YOUTUBER JUJI
Well, we’re your friends too. We
want to let you share your side of
this doping scandal --
DELBERT
There is NO scandal. Tall runs in
my family. We even have a name for
it -- “Gillespie growth spurt.”
Juji and the YouTubers swap uneasy looks.
YOUTUBER JUJI
Have you not seen the Post or
Tattler links?
No, Delbert hasn’t. Even the dogs shake their heads.
Juji shows Delbert her phone screen. And DELEVISION shows us
a headline circling mid-air about Delbert’s eyes:
GILLESPIE “GROWTH SPURT” DEBUNKED - LUMPKINS ADOPTED.
Features darkening with rage, Delbert shakes his head.
YOUTUBER JUJI
Are those your parents’ signatures?
A photo now circles about the tall teen. OFFICIAL ADOPTION
PAPERS. The adopted child’s name, DELBERT HOTCHKISS
LUMPKINS. Delbert regards his adoptive parents’ signatures --
HORATIO ALGONQUIN LUMPKINS and ELIZABETH GILLESPIE LUMPKINS.
Delbert stares, thunderstruck. This can’t be. It can’t be.
DELBERT
... You need to go now, Juji.
YOUTUBER JUJI
They never told you that you
weren’t really theirs, did they?
DELBERT
(to dogs)
SHOW ‘EM OUT, GUYS!
The dog pack chases off the screaming YouTubers!
YOUTUBER JUJI
AHHHHHHH! DON’T FORGET TO CLICK
LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE!!!
Genres:
["Drama","Mystery","Teen"]
Ratings
Scene
35 -
Shattered Illusions
INT. LUMPKINS’ KITCHEN - NIGHT
Elizabeth and Hal prepare dinner together. Happy smiles on
their faces. Surprised, they spot Delbert striding in.
ELIZABETH
Hi, sweetheart, you’re home early --
DELBERT
Why did you lie to me?
ELIZABETH
What?
DELBERT
My whole life, you’ve lied to me.
There is no “Gillespie Growth
Spurt” -- least not for me.
The towering teen holds out his phone to show his adoption
papers. Eyes going wide, Hal and Elizabeth gasp.
ELIZABETH HAL
Oh, my god... Oh, my god...
Delbert gestures to the photo of his Dutch cousins on the
wall.
DELBERT
These people aren’t my real
cousins, aunts or uncles, since I’m
not really your son.
ELIZABETH
Don’t say that --
DELBERT
Why not? It’s the truth, isn’t it?!
HAL
...Yes, Delbert, it’s true.
Delbert shakes his head in shock and dismay.
DELBERT
So who are my real parents?
The question breaks Elizabeth and Hal’s hearts.
ELIZABETH
We don’t know. Dr. Stubbs said you
were... an unclaimed orphan.
For a moment a kitchen wall MORPHS INTO...
Genres:
["Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
36 -
Breaking Bonds
INT. OLE MISS HOSPITAL - NURSERY - DAY (13 YEARS AGO)
A younger Elizabeth and Hal beam as a younger Dr. Stubbs
hands Elizabeth a swaddled infant. Elizabeth weeps in joy.
DR. STUBBS
He’s a very special child.
Baby Delbert smiles at his new parents. Love at first sight.
FRRRT. Baby Delbert farts. A moment later they all smile.
ELIZABETH
Ohhhh my, it smells like... roses.
HAL
With maybe a hint of gardenia.
To their shock, Delbert’s hair now STANDS UP ON ITS OWN.
DR. STUBBS
(again)
He’s a very special child.
And the nursery MORPHS BACK INTO:
LUMPKINS KITCHEN
Elizabeth reaches out for Delbert, but he backpedals away.
ELIZABETH
I’m so sorry, sweetheart. Part of
being a parent means making
decisions that break your heart...
(tears falling)
... Truth is, you were just so
wonderfully different that Daddy
and I were terrified people might
not love you the way we do.
HAL
So we claimed you, son. To protect
you we said you were ours --
DELBERT
Protect me? I don’t think so.
(points outside)
Now the whole world thinks Delbert
Lumpkins is a LIAR AND A CHEAT!
ELIZABETH
What’s that mean?
DELBERT
That drug test Dr. Stubbs gave me
came back dirty -- I’m off the
basketball team. I’m gone. I
can’t play anymore -- THAT’S WHAT
IT MEANS!
Delbert grabs the yardstick his mother always used for their
annual measurement ritual and breaks it into pieces.
Bolting out the door with the broken yardstick in hand,
Delbert hops on his bike as we CUT TO:
Genres:
["Drama","Family","Mystery"]
Ratings
Scene
37 -
Identity in Fragments
EXT. OXFORD ROAD - NIGHT
Thick fog curls away as Delbert pedals fast as he can. Angry
tears stain his cheeks. Behind him, the dog pack follows.
DELBERT
Who am I?
Rapid DELEVISION images appear before him. Childhood
memories. He sees Elizabeth holding him as a baby.
DELBERT
WHO AM I?!
Delbert rides through the memory/image, and it shatters like
a pane of glass. CRASH! Another image appears before him --
Hal reading a book to baby Delbert. CRASH!
DELBERT
WHO AM I?!!!
Delbert CRASH-CRASH-CRASHES his bike through more cherished
memories until... someone jumps into the road in front of
him. As Delbert skids to a stop and turns, we see Dr. Sonya
vibrate/MORPH into the lovely Daria again.
DELBERT
Daria? I nearly killed you?! Wh-
what’re you doing out here?!
Reaching out, she gently wipes the tears from his cheek.
DARIA/SONYA
It is time, DEL-bert. Time to say
second reason I tell lie.
(off Delbert’s look) You half-
alien. You a TRIP.
Even more baffled, Delbert watches the girl of his dreams
pull out an onion and take a big bite.
DARIA/SONYA
I am TRIP too, DEL-bert.
DELBERT
Okay, when you say, “I am TRIP,
too,” I don’t get it...
DARIA/SONYA
It mean we both half-alien, half-
human.
The Amazon truck rumbles before a dazed Delbert. Cargo doors
open. Aussie is in the drivers seat chomping on an onion.
AUSSIE
G’day, mate. LOVE YOUR ETHEL!
EXT. OBSERVATORY. NIGHT.
The Amazon truck pulls up to the observatory door.
AUSSIE
Once you walk through that door,
mate, nothing in your life will
ever be the same.
DELBERT
I don’t want it to be the same.
Genres:
["Drama","Sci-Fi","Mystery"]
Ratings
Scene
38 -
Escape from the Observatory
INT. OBSERVATORY BASEMENT - STUBBS’ CELL - CONTINUOUS
The cell is dark. Silvery moonlight ribbons down through a
barred window onto the doctor’s haggard face.
DR. STUBBS
Hey. He’s here. I feel his energy.
PULL BACK TO reveal Stubbs isn’t the only prisoner in the
cell. Daria (pimple-faced and frizzy-haired) is also here.
DARIA
Is DEL-bert. I feel him, too.
DR. STUBBS
We’ve got to rescue him, before
it’s too late.
DARIA
Tell me how. I do anything.
DR. STUBBS
Shoelaces. I need shoelaces.
ON STUBBS - MOMENTS LATER
He strings together four shoelaces into a ten-foot rope.
Stubbs ties Daria’s sneaker to the shoelace rope and tosses
it through the cell bars toward a broom in the corner.
After a few failed tries, Stubbs finally hooks the broom.
Drags it through the bars into the cell. Daria cheers.
DARIA
Yay! But what we do with broom?
Stubbs gestures to the small, barred window above them.
DR. STUBBS
We burn that window frame.
DARIA
How we burn?
DR. STUBBS
You tell me a lie. And keep telling
me lies until my ears catch on
fire.
DARIA
What you say? Your ears burn?
DR. STUBBS
Wait. I forgot. Let me take off my
inhibitor watch.
Dr. Stubbs removes his distinctive watch with a red and
silver face from his wrist. Daria is puzzled.
DR. STUBBS
Now, lie to me. It’s the only way
to help Delbert.
DARIA
But...
DR. STUBBS
Lie to me. Do it!
DARIA
Men are smarter than women.
Stubbs’ ears turn red. He rolls his hand. “Keep going.”
DARIA
The check is in the mail... Your
baby is beautiful... Please hold,
your call is important to us.
Stubbs ears smolder, start to glow, then burst into flames.
Stubbs grabs the broom, ignites the straw with his ears, then
raises it against the wooden window frame. The frame darkens,
then starts to burn.
Daria is thrilled but puzzled. She picks up the red and
silver watch. Studies it a moment, then stares at Dr. Stubbs.
Genres:
["Sci-Fi","Drama","Thriller"]
Ratings
Scene
39 -
Welcome to the TRIP Family
INT. OBSERVATORY DOME - CONTINUOUS
A door opens. Delbert steps inside the pitch-black dome.
He cocks his head to hear the steady hum of many drones.
Daria/Sonya follows him in as she sneaks a glimpse at her
SPAZMAT cell phone. TARGET ACTIVATION: 90%.
DARIA/SONYA
Do you feel anything, DEL-bert?
DELBERT
Ahhh, I feel something. It’s like
a vibration.... a good vibration.
Speakers suddenly blare the classic Funky Bunch hit: “IT’S
SUCH A GOOD VIBRATION / SUCH A SWEEEEEET SENSATION...”
WHOOSH! Drones shine spotlights on Mark Wahlberg rapping
atop an old school bus, painted in garish colors with vivid
graffiti.
He wears Nike sweats and tee shirt proclaiming: I’M A TRIP.
As the lights come up, we see two dozen loud and rowdy Level
One TRIPs, each of whom wears matching Nike sweats and tee
shirts that say: I’M A TRIP!
DELBERT
Wait, is that really Mark Wahlberg?
I never knew he rapped!
DARIA/SONYA
He also underwear model. He part
of your new family, DEL-bert.
The crowd gives Delbert a hero’s welcome. The audience TRIPs
high-five the teen and chant his name. One TRIP hands Delbert
a pair of matching sweats and a tee shirt.
Looking up, Delbert sees NBA legend Lebron James appear next
to Wahlberg atop the bus.
DELBERT
...LEBRON JAMES?!!!
LEBRON AND MARK WAHLBERG (RAPPING)
“I COMMAND YOU TO DANCE/ I WANNA
SEE MOTIVATION/ COME ON NOW FEEL
THE VIBRATION!!!”
Delbert’s jaw drops. And superimposed on the screen, we see
his Activation Rate rise to... 93%.
PULL BACK TO see Delbert is now decked out in the “I’m a
TRIP” sweats. He’s completely awestruck.
LEBRON AND MARK WAHLBERG (RAPPING)
You one of us bruh, you wearing our
suit. Now you have to learn, the
TRIP salute.
Lebron and Mark flash the three-fingered TRIP salute(like the
peace sign with one more finger).
DELBERT
This is soooooo crazy.
Delbert gives Lebron and Mark the TRIP salute. Smiling, he
turns toward Daria/Sonya next to him, but she’s gone.
LEBRON AND MARK WAHLBERG
(three finger TRIP salute)
Welcome, Delbert!
LEBRON JAMES
Dr. Sonya found us through our D-N-
A tests.
MARK WAHLBERG
All our lives we felt different,
and this lady showed us why. Now,
Delbert, time for you to meet...DR.
SONYA...!
The vivacious, red-haired beauty appears atop the bus.
LEBRON JAMES
Now, we got to split, my man. I got
a game against the Grizzlies and
Marky-Mark’s got a shoot.
MARK WAHLBERG
Seriously, dude? The Marky-Mark
thing was ages ago. It’s Mark...
LEBRON JAMES
Yeah, whatever. Anyway, take it
away, Dr. Sonya.
Dr. Sonya takes the mic from Lebron and Mark. They walk off
waving to the TRIP crowd.
DR. SONYA (O.S.)
Hello, Mr. Delbert Lumpkins.
The LEVEL ONE TRIPs hoot and holler.
DR. SONYA
Delbert Lumpkins, I’ve been
searching for you since the day you
were born.
The TRIPs yell louder. Off Delbert’s bewildered smile CUT TO:
Genres:
["Musical","Sci-Fi","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
40 -
Revelations and Amplifications
INT. LUMPKINS’ KITCHEN - NIGHT
Hal and Bobo pace back and forth, worried. Elizabeth speaks
on her cell to the police, distraught.
ELIZABETH
I tried tracking his phone, there’s
no signal. My son’s very-very
upset, Officer. I have to find him.
(MORE)
ELIZABETH (CONT’D)
(listens)
WAIT, DON’T PUT ME ON HOLD AGAIN --
AUTOMATED PHONE VOICE (O.S.)
“Your call is important to us,
please hold...”
Elizabeth’s ready to explode, until Bobo calls out, excited:
BOBO
Mrs. Lumpkins, I know how to find
Delbert! LOOK! LOOK OUTSIDE!
He points out a window to Delbert’s loyal pack of dogs
running up the moonlit street. And we CUT BACK TO:
INT. OBSERVATORY DOME - CENTER COURT - CONTINUOUS
Delbert now stands atop the multi-hued old bus with Sonya,
who extends her arm toward hovering holos:
DR. SONYA
THE UNTOLD HISTORY OF TRIPS.
A huge holo of a slowly turning TRIPLE HELIX DNA strand is
suspended above everyone.
Smaller holographs whip about Delbert. The TRIP Code and
triple helix diagrams float by, together with images of
bygone TRIP influencers who move and talk as if still alive.
They all flash the three finger TRIP salute, and include
Genghis Khan, Cleopatra, Gandhi, Joan of Arc, Shohei Ohtani,
and finally, Rick the Righteous...
DELBERT
Hold up -- who’s the skinny guy
with the hair, the one kissing his
hands?
PULL BACK TO see Sonya beside him, smiling.
DR. SONYA
Why do you ask?
DELBERT
I don’t know. I-I feel like I know
him somehow.
DR. SONYA
You do know him, Delbert. His name
is Rick the Righteous.
DELBERT
No, I think I’d remember that --
DR. SONYA
Rick the Righteous is my twin
brother. And thirteen years ago,
he was Commander of the TRIPs --
the greatest leader we ever had.
Holographs of Rick appear, one after another. Rick in the
White House, Kremlin, China’s CCP, British Parliament...
DR. SONYA
Rick crafted treaties with the
various superpowers -- he gave them
cell phone technology, the
internet, and A.I., all to benefit
a peaceful world.
(voice breaks)
The day you were born, however, he
was betrayed by the DUBs he had
helped for decades... and you were
stolen.
The giant holos rising over Delbert turn into the TRIP Arctic
Circle compound. An explosion destroys the icy fortress. KA-
BOOM!
DR SONYA
DUB military forces attacked our
compound. We still don’t
understand why. But amid the
battle, your mother was killed.
DELBERT
... My birth mother?
DR. SONYA
(nods, hand on his
shoulder)
But your father survived.
Delbert is stunned. He turns to face Dr. Sonya.
DELBERT
You know who my father is?
DR. SONYA
Yes, Delbert. And so do you...
Rick the Righteous is your father.
The holos show Special Forces soldiers shooting electrical
nets over Rick’s body. Forcefully taking him into captivity.
DR. SONYA
He’s been waiting for you.
Speechless, Delbert stares at Rick’s holograph. My father?!
DR. SONYA
You were stolen away at birth by
his most trusted officer, Dr.
Stubbs.
The holos now switch to the secret TRIP ice tunnels below the
compound... show Dr. Stubbs/Dr. Truman snowmobiling baby
Delbert away.
DELBERT
NOOOOO?! Dr. Stubbs?! Why?
DR. SONYA
And he corrupted your drug test.
DELBERT
NOOOOO?! Why would he?!
DR. SONYA
The same reason he kidnapped you at
birth -- to control you.
DELBERT
Why would he want to control me?
DR. SONYA
Very simple, dear Delbert. Behold!
Dr. Sonya extends her arm toward Aussie, who pushes a button
on a device.
A HUGE HOLO appears -- DELBERT’S SMILING FACE. And under his
smile in huge flashing letters, the word: AMPLIFIER
DELBERT
Amplifier? Wha...??
DR. SONYA
You’re an amplifier, Delbert. Your
vibration makes every TRIP near you
more powerful.
Delbert stares at his giant face in the holo.
DELBERT
Amplifier...
DR. SONYA
Yes, you are! And with you, we
have the power to free your father.
(off Delbert’s shock)
He’s only a..., uh, short drive
from here.
The holo switches to an emaciated, shackled Rick in his cell.
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS (HOLO)
Hello son... the thing that’s kept
me alive all these years is the
thought of holding you again, but
I... I can’t survive much longer.
Delbert’s eyes tear up. “This is my real father.” Hair
rising, the teen reaches out to Rick’s holograph.
DELBERT
Dad? DAD, I’M COMING FOR YOU!
PHWOOSH! Energy fires outward from Delbert’s body. The
burst is so powerful Sonya’s hair and the hair of every Level
One TRIP in the observatory stands up as well. Lights
flicker on and off, strobing the partiers.
Sonya eyes her phone. Target’s Activation Rate: 100%.
DR. SONYA
YES! AREA 51 HERE WE COME!!
Hair standing on end, each Level One TRIP in the audience
begins to tremble, then shake. Their suppressed abilities are
AMPLIFIED!
Delbert is in awe of what’s happening. One-by-one, through
rapid-fire Delbert’s POV: DELEVISION, we see:
TRIP BUSHY -- Bushy, a swarthy man with thick eyebrows and an
Italian accent, gets hit hard in the back of his head by a
beachball the crowd has been batting around. The blow causes
Bushy’s eyebrows to grow massively, shooting out ten feet and
throttling a Level One two rows away.
TRIP WHIFF -- Whiff, a small man with a Japanese accent,
unleashes a stench that causes other Level Ones around him to
pass out and fall on the floor.
TRIP HA-HA -- Ha-Ha, a woman in a sari with an Indian
accent, laughs and makes every Level One around her fall on
the floor in hysterical laughter.
TRIP YODELAYHEEHOO: Yodelayheehoo, a giant, muscular man with
a thick Swiss accent yodels loud and long, causing several
Level Ones around him to yodel along with him.
TRIP GASLIGHT: Gaslight, a heavy-set woman with a Midwestern
accent, lies to Level Ones around her. They believe her
momentarily, then say “Heywaitaminute..!
TRIP AUSSIE: Dr. Sonya’s sumo-sized right-hand man with an
Aussie accent vibrates, then bends over, un-velcros a flap
covering his behind and fires snowballs out of his butt,
nailing Level Ones within range, knocking them down.
Meanwhile, the sound of a window frame crashing onto the
ground TAKES US OUTSIDE TO:
Genres:
["Science Fiction","Drama","Action"]
Ratings
Scene
41 -
The Comedic Confrontation
EXT. OBSERVATORY BASEMENT - OUTSIDE DOOR - NIGHT
Dr. Stubbs and Daria crawl/fall out of the charred hole where
the wooden window frame was. The frame burns and smokes on
the ground. Stubbs hits his ears to stop their burning.
SPANISH VOICE (O.S.)
Tsk-tsk, this will no do.
Outside on the ground, Daria and Stubbs turn to the voice,
which belongs to Level One TRIP PERRO, the TRIP guard
patrolling the perimeter wearing a duster and tall fur cap.
DR. STUBBS
Look, I don’t want to fight you --
The energy storm unleashed inside by Delbert’s reaching 100%
flashes onto PERRO through the observatory windows.
PERRO blinks and shudders. His short pug hair stands on end.
PERRO
I feel...muy diferente!!
Coarse HAIR sprouts on Perro’s face. His nose bunches into a
K-9 SNOUT. But he isn’t morphing into some wolfman -- no,
he’s more of a CUTE, PUG-FACED MAN WITH TINY FANGS, BULGING
EYEBALLS, AND BLOCKED NASAL PASSAGES.
PERRO
Too bad, hombre, I live for the
fight, HA-HA! PREPARE TO DIE!!!
DR. STUBBS
No offense, but you can barely
breathe. You’re a pug --
PERRO
GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! A MUY powerful
pug!
Whap. Stubbs gives him a little nose slap. Perro yelps.
AGENT PERRO
Oww... owww... owww...
Dropping to the ground, Perro rolls onto his back, and
assumes the canine “I surrender” submissive position.
DARIA
You be okay. You good boy!
Daria gives Agent Perro a nice belly rub.
CUT TO:
EXT. OBSERVATORY - SIDE ENTRANCE - NIGHT
The party continues. DANCE MUSIC THUMPS from the inside.
In the moonlight, Stubbs, Daria, and Agent Perro come into
view. Stubbs motions Perro to open the locked door.
PERRO
Perro no can betray Dr. Sonya.
(pug snuffling)
DELBERT
Sonya’s a TRIP gone bad, mi amigo.
Open this door, see for yourself!
AGENT PERRO
NO! DE NINGUNA MANERA!!!
Reaching out, Daria gently scratches behind the defiant
TRIP’s ear. Perro’s leg spasms in rapture, and he opens the
locked door. And we CUT TO:
Genres:
["Science Fiction","Action","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
42 -
The Search for Delbert
INT. OBSERVATORY - DOME - MOMENTS LATER
The door opens. Dr. Stubbs, Daria and Perro enter.
AGENT PERRO
Dios mio, donde esta todo el mundo?
PULL BACK TO see the huge observatory is now empty. The
music still plays, but the Amazon Truck and the multi-colored
bus are gone -- and so are Delbert, Sonya, Aussie, Bushy,
Whiff, Ha Ha, Gaslight, Yodelayheehoo, and all the other
Level One TRIPs. Daria realizes...
DARIA
Sonya take DEL-bert on mission --
KA-THUNK! The front door bangs open. They turn to see
Elizabeth, Hal, Bobo, AND THE ENTIRE DOG PACK OF TWO DOZEN
DOGS race inside.
ELIZABETH
Dr. Stubbs? Is Delbert with you?!
DR. STUBBS
No. We’re looking for him.
ELIZABETH
So are we!
Hal spies Agent Perro butt-sniffing with the dog pack.
HAL
What on earth is that about?
DR. STUBBS
It’s a bit beyond earth, Hal.
(beat) Uh, we need your car.
EXT. BOBO’S HOUSE - NIGHT
Elizabeth SCREECHES the MINIVAN to a hard stop. Hal rides
shotgun, Stubbs and Perro in the back. Perro has his head out
the window, tongue flapping.
They’re dropping off Bobo and Daria at Bobo’s house.
BOBO
But we can help you get Delbert!
ELIZABETH
No, you’re thirteen years old! You
stay here -- we’ll find Delbert!
ERRRRRRRR! Elizabeth peels away. Bobo looks over to Daria.
Calmly points to a shiny red Corvette in the driveway.
BOBO
I know where my dad keeps the keys.
CUT TO:
Genres:
["Sci-Fi","Drama","Action","Adventure"]
Ratings
Scene
43 -
Mission Secrets and Shape-Shifting
EXT. DESERT HIGHWAY - CRASHED SPACESHIP - NIGHT
Colored lights blinking. On the side of the road lies a
huge spaceship. On closer inspection we see it’s actually a
themed diner along the famed highway to AREA 51.
VROOOM! Sonya’s Amazon truck and TRIP bus speed past it.
EXT./INT. TRIP BUS - MOVING - NIGHT
Aussie is driving the Level Ones in the multi-colored bus, in
which everyone is juking to blaring dance music.
INT. AMAZON TRUCK - MOVING - NIGHT
Sonya is driving the Amazon Truck and fiddling with the
SPAZMAT controls. Delbert is in the passenger seat.
The SPAZMAT machine flashes a rapid series of images.
DR. SONYA (O.S.)
I’m downloading every detail of
tonight’s operation into your mind.
-- Holos of Area 51. Guard gates. Battle drones.
-- Holos of secret Area 51 entrances, gates, and codes.
-- Holos of a Rick’s dank, frozen underground prison -- it’s
one half bat cavern and one half impenetrable fortress.
DR. SONYA
What do you see?
The furious holo barrage stops. Delbert exhales. “Whew!”
DELBERT
Everything. I see everything.
(wide grin)
And it’s amazing. It’s like I’m
inside the best video game ever --
DR. SONYA
This no game. We’re heading into
the lion’s den, Delbert.
DELBERT
Yeah, I get it. Maybe I should text
my other parents. They’ll be super
worried --
DR. SONYA
And say what? You’re about to
break your REAL father out of a
secret prison under Area Fifty-One?
Delbert nods. Good point. Then...
DELBERT
So... you’re actually my real Aunt.
DR. SONYA
Yes. Your Auntie Sonya.
DELBERT
Wow. That’s great. Really great.
(off her smile)
But I’m not, like, related to Daria
too, am I?
DR. SONYA
Why? Did you kiss her?
DELBERT
No. But I really want to. I’ve
dreamed about it a zillion times.
DR. SONYA
You’re not related to Daria.
(off his relieved sigh)
Delbert, I need you to focus.
(re: Area 51 holo)
I need you to know the plan.
DELBERT
Oh, I do.
(taps temple)
It’s all downloaded up here. But I
have a question.
DR. SONYA
Ask, but quickly. We’re almost
there.
DELBERT
The plan says the guards will let
us through. My question is...WHY
would they let us through?
DR. SONYA
Because they will recognize me.
DELBERT
Why would they recognize you...?
Dr. Sonya begins to vibrate. Dr. Sonya morphs into General
Roger Eastland, thirteen years older than when he testified
before the Senate Committee and led the attack on the Arctic
Circle TRIP compound. He’s now a FOUR-STAR General, and
commander of the entire Area 51 base.
DR. SONYA/GENERAL EASTLAND
Because I’m the commanding officer
of Area 51, General Roger Eastland.
DELBERT
Holy Wow!! How...?
DR. SONYA/GENERAL EASTLAND
I know this is a lot to take in all
at once, but...I’m a Level Five
TRIP. A shape-shifter. You know
what that is?
DELBERT
I’ve read...uh, you can change your
identity. Be someone else.
DR. SONYA/GENERAL EASTLAND
And I’m even better at it with you
at my side, amplifying me.
DELBERT
I’m not doing it on purpose. Are
you sure you’re okay?
DR. SONYA/GENERAL EASTLAND
Okay? I’ve never been better.
You’re not just an amplifier,
sweetie... you’re the greatest
amplifier TRIP world has ever seen.
Delbert shrugs, still not quite sure of things.
DR. SONYA
You’ll see. Tell me what comes
first in the plan...
Off Delbert’s nod we CUT TO:
EXT. AREA 51 - SECURITY GATE - NIGHT
Welcome to the most notorious military base in the world.
Razor wire fences and warning signs threaten one and all.
DELBERT (V.O.)
The delivery gate. Two guards will
stop us. They’ll check their
manifest then let us and the bus
through...
Dr. Sonya/General Eastland drives the Amazon Truck slowly
toward the stern military guards.
GATE GUARD #1
Halt. This is a restricted military
zone.
(looks at driver, comes to
attention and salutes)
Oh, sorry General Eastland. I was
not notified...
GENERAL EASTLAND
At ease, Sergeant. Unannounced
maneuvers. Platoon in the camo bus
behind us is part of the drill.
Carry on.
Both guards salute “General Eastland” as the Amazon truck
enters the base followed by the rickety old bus.
EXT. AREA 51 - AIR FORCE BASE - MOMENTS LATER
The lion’s den. Scores of soldiers come and go. The Amazon
truck and TRIP bus slowly roll right past them.
The ultra hi-tech military base purposefully resembles an
outdated ‘70s installation. A wide main square skirted by
plain two-story buildings on every side.
Dr. Sonya/General Eastland stops the Amazon truck in front of
a storefront with a sign that reads: Barber Shop.
INSIDE THE PRIME TRUCK:
DELBERT
I have fifteen minutes to descend a
thousand feet underground and bust
my father out of his cell.
DR. SONYA
You can’t waste a second.
DELBERT
Got it.
Genres:
["Sci-Fi","Action","Adventure"]
Ratings
Scene
45 -
The Barber Shop Conspiracy
EXT. AREA 51 - AIR FORCE BASE MAIN SQUARE - MOMENTS LATER
Level One TRIPs Aussie, Gaslight, and Bushy step out of the
bus and wait at the Barber Shop door.
INSIDE THE PRIME TRUCK:
DELBERT
And no one gets hurt, right?
(off Sonya’s look)
The TRIP Code you showed me -- it
says we NEVER hurt people --
DR. SONYA
Sure. The Code. Of course.
(rolls her eyes)
So, how do you get down to your
father’s cell?
DELBERT
I know the plan, Aunt Sonya. No
need to repeat it.
DR. SONYA
Okay. One last thing: wear this
backpack and give it to Rick when
you break him out.
Delbert takes the broken Lumpkins kitchen yardstick from his
back pocket and places it the backpack, which he puts on and
joins Aussie and Gaslight at the Barber Shop door.
EXT./INT. AREA 51 - BARBER SHOP - NIGHT
Three chairs. Three BARBERS crew-cutting SOLDIERS. And a
half-dozen more steel-jawed soldiers waiting their turn.
DELBERT (V.O.)
There’s a secret entrance to the
basement prison in the barber shop.
I access it at the third chair.
The door opens. Ting-a-ling. All heads turn.
Genres:
["Sci-Fi","Action","Adventure"]
Ratings
Scene
46 -
High-Speed Escapes and Chicken Transformations
EXT. HIGHWAY TO AREA 51 - SPACE SHIP DINER - NIGHT
VROOOM! Bobo rockets past the campy diner in his dad’s
Corvette. Daria’s in the passenger seat.
A hidden State Trooper’s radar gun reads: 110 MPH.
Before he can give chase, the minivan races past doing 110
MPH. VROOOM! Elizabeth is driving, Hal riding shotgun, and
Dr. Stubbs and Perro are in back. Perro’s head hangs out the
window, tongue flapping.
The Trooper hits the siren as we CUT BACK TO:
INT. AREA 51 - BARBER SHOP - NIGHT
The ting-a-ling changes to an ear-piercing alarm WAAAAA
WAAAAA WAAAAA.
A bright red light begins to flash and revolve. WAAAAA
WAAAAA WAAAAA, and an A.I. robotic voice blasts: WARNING!
TRIPLE HELIX DETECTED! APPREHEND! APPREHEND!
Every soldier and barber in the shop go into apprehend mode,
drawing handguns and AR-15 military rifles and pointing them
at the TRIPs. Delbert, Bushy, and Aussie freeze, but Gaslight
steps forward.
MUSCLED SOLDIERS
FREEZE, TRIPs. NOT ANOTHER STEP.
GASLIGHT
Oh, my. Tough guys, huh?
(eyes flashing)
You DUBs are just a bunch of
chickens, clucking and pecking.
The barbers and soldiers’ EYES FLASH. THIP-THIP! And it’s on.
The gaslit barbers and soldiers CLUCK AND PECK like chickens
in a farm yard.
Gaslight stands among the soldiers/barbers/chickens CLUCKING
AND PECKING as Delbert, Bushy, and Aussie tiptoe through the
busy birds to the third chair.
Delbert sits in the third chair. He punches in a code on the
keypad in the chair’s arm. Delbert extends his arms to Bushy
and Aussie, then pats his lap.
DELBERT
Y’all coming?
Bushy shrugs, then sits on Delbert’s lap. Aussie squints and
pushes his glasses up higher on his nose, then
enthusiastically jumps onto to Bushy’s lap, squashing them.
Delbert types in the final number. The pad flashes and beeps.
Delbert gestures to the soldiers and barbers clucking and
pecking the tile floor.
DELBERT
Thanks, guys. I don’t wanna hurt
anybody -- I just wanna get my dad.
Delbert cranks down the lever on the side of the chair.
The platform beneath the chair drops with a hydraulic PWOOSH!
The three men scream AAHHHEEEEYAH! and vanish with the chair
into an endless black abyss, leaving Gaslight with the birds.
EXT. HIGHWAY SHOULDER - NIGHT
The red Corvette sputters and coughs to a stop. Disaster.
BOBO
Oh, no! I broke my dad’s car!
Daria shakes her head. Gestures to the empty gas gauge.
DARIA
Not broke.
BOBO
No way. We ran out of gas?
(rationalizes)
Well, I’m only thirteen, right?
SCREEEEE! Elizabeth’s minivan squeals to a stop beside the
Corvette. Perro sniffs the air with his pug nose.
PERRO
Si! Ees them, Senora! Ees them!
ELIZABETH
GET IN, GUYS! HURRY!!!
Behind them, oncoming sirens sound. And we CUT BACK TO:
Genres:
["Sci-Fi","Action","Adventure","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
47 -
Escape from the Underground Prison
INT. ENTRANCE TO UNDERGROUND PRISON - NIGHT
WHOMP! The barber chair lands hard on solid ground.
Eyes adjusting, Delbert, Bushy, and Aussie stand up and look
around. We see the subterranean prison is half cavern and
half hi-tech -- a neo-Gothic fortress.
BATTLE DRONE VOICE (O.S.)
UNAUTHORIZED ENTRY! APPREHEND!
White hot lights shine down on them. Delbert, Aussie, and
Bushy are surrounded by six battle drones (each one’s three-
feet wide with sinister-looking lights) directly above them.
BATTLE DRONES (V.O.)
APPREHEND! APPREHEND! APPREHEND!
AUSSIE
Oh, mate. We’re toast!
DELBERT
Just chill, Aussie. Don’t move. Any
ideas?
One of the drones drops suddenly and hits Bushy’s head. His
eyebrows blow out like hairy ropes. Bushy’s right brow wraps
around the leg of one of the drones and smashes it into the
cavern floor over and over until it’s destroyed.
Delbert jumps back into the barber chair, jerks the lever up,
then parkours/dives out of the chair before it rockets
upward, sweeping three of the drones back up the dark barber
chair/elevator shaft. Bushy’s eyebrows retract as Aussie
cheers.
AUSSIE
Four down, two to go.
THIP-THIP! The remaining two drones fire lasers at Delbert,
but miss. Aussie hits Bushy in the back of the head causing
Bushy’s eyebrows to shoot out again.
AUSSIE
Grab those drones, mate!
Bushy’s eyebrows wrap around the legs of the two remaining
drones, immobilizing them. Delbert points to the other end of
the cavern. In the dim light, we see Rick in his cell,
chained to the wall.
AUSSIE
The gate’s closing! Look!
They squint into the distance to see a GIGANTIC PRISON GATE
at the other end of the cavern, a hundred yards away.
The opening is rapidly closing in on itself like a
nightmarish camera aperture.
AUSSIE
There’s no way we reach it in time!
DELBERT
Run!!
Delbert and Aussie race toward the gate. Bushy’s brow whips
the two remaining drones into the cavern walls, causing a
black cloud of huge bats to fill the cave.
The bats fly and chitter through the air.
Delbert, Bushy, and Aussie race to the steadily closing gate,
fighting off the swarming bats.
AUSSIE
We can’t make it!!
DELBERT
Keep running.
AUSSIE
Got a better idea.
Aussie stops, bends over, un-velcros the pouch on the back of
his britches, and starts firing snowballs at the closing
gate. The snowballs hit the gate’s closing mechanism over and
over, the ice jamming and freezing the mechanism.
DELBERT
Run!!
Delbert, Bushy, and Aussie dive through the tiny opening
right before the aperture motor overcomes the ice jam and
slams shut.
Genres:
["Action","Sci-Fi","Adventure"]
Ratings
Scene
48 -
Breaking Free: A Father-Son Reunion
INT. OTHER SIDE OF GATE - RICK’S PRISON CELL - CONTINUOUS
An icy, plexiglass cell carved into the cavern. Britney
Spears sings over speakers. “Oops, I did it again...”
WOOSH!! Two battle drones descend from the ceiling.
Shackled to the wall, Rick’s eyes widen as THIP-THIP-THIP --
the drones fire laser blasts at Delbert, Bushy, and Aussie.
DELBERT
Sorry, Bushy.
Delbert hits Bushy in the back of the head again, causing his
brows to explode toward the drones. His left brow grabs one
drone by the leg, his right brow grabs the other.
BUSHY
What now?
DELBERT
Fling’em against the plexiglass.
Hard as possible.
On cue, Bushy flings the drones violently against the glass,
which cracks and spider-webs, but still holds.
DELBERT
Aussie! Fire away.
Aussie bends over, un-velcroes his bottom again, and fires
two snowballs at the glass. The glass cracks a bit, but
holds.
DELBERT
Fire again!!
Still bent over, Aussie strains but... CLICK CLICK CLICK.
Aussie is dry-firing.
AUSSIE
I’m out of ammo.
Bushy wraps his brows around two plastic water bottles on a
table next to Rick’s cell and flings them to Aussie, who
guzzles both and bends over again, firing dozens of snowballs
at the same weakening crack in the glass.
The glass finally shatters, sending shards everywhere. Rick
tries to clap but cannot. He’s still shackled.
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
Ohhhhhhh yeah... THAT’S MY BOY!!!
Amid swirling dust and debris, Rick finally comes face-to-
face with his teenage son. Delbert stands woozy in his
tattereds TRIP sweats, his hair rising on end.
DELBERT
... Dad?
Rick nods. And his long, frozen hair stands on end as well.
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
Son... you’re amplifying me.
(body vibrating)
Ohhhh, I feel it. I feel the
vibration surging through my every
cell! And it is DELICIOUS!
Delbert hugs his shackled father, but Rick can’t return it.
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
Hellooooo.
(re: wrist shackles)
Aren’t you supposed to be a genius?
ON DELBERT - MOMENTS LATER
Using a busted drone rod, Delbert unlocks Rick’s shackles.
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
HA! My lil’ lock picker! I bet
there’s no end to your talents!
Delbert opens his arm for a hug. But instead, Rick kisses
the back of his own hands, MWAA-MWAA!
DELBERT
Thanks, Dad. Never picked a lock
before, but stuff just pops in my
head. I can also do two hundred and
forty-seven bird calls.
(spectacular bird call)
That’s a Tufted Titmouse.
Rick eyeballs his strange “son.”
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
Yes...well, uh, did you bring the
backpack?
Delbert nods, takes the backpack off. Rick smiles and finally
embraces Delbert as Britney sings on. “Oops I, did it again,
I played with your heart...”
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
You ready to make an entrance, son?
DELBERT
Isn’t that what we just did --
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
Not hardly. Backpack.
(snaps fingers)
Backpack, chop-chop!
Grabbing the backpack from Delbert, Rick reaches in and
removes something, then tosses the backpack on the floor.
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
MMMMMMM, YES, THERE SHE IS!
Before seeing what’s inside, we CUT UP TO:
INT. AREA 51 - BARBER SHOP - NIGHT
Sonya/General Eastland and Gaslight, surrounded by
cluckers/peckers peer into the hole in the floor where the
third chair used to be.
TING-A-LING. The door opens.
IT’S THE REAL GENERAL EASTLAND.
Sonya/General Eastland smiles awkwardly at her doppelganger.
The real General Eastland is not amused.
Meanwhile, back underground...
INT. RICK THE RIGHTEOUS' CELL - NIGHT
Rick, now wearing an elaborate cape, does a dramatic twirl.
He’s half-showman, half-madman, relishing every moment.
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
All eyes on me! I’m perfection!
(off Delbert’s look)
What? Sequin’s too much?
DELBERT
(re: sequins on cape)
They say Rick the Ruthless.
RICK THE RUTHLESS
Indeed, I’m REBRANDING! Being
righteous brought me here; being
ruthless will bring me out.
(dancing in the cape)
DUBS only respond to chaos and
calamity. Well, I plan on giving
it to them. And PLENTY OF IT!
DELBERT
I know they hurt you, Dad, but
hurting them back isn’t the way.
RICK THE RUTHLESS
Oh yes, it is. Now, my boy, let’s
bring that chair back down and get
out of this hellhole.
Over the speakers, Britney sings: “Oops, you think I’m in
love, that I’m sent from above / I’m not that innocent...”
Delbert picks up the backpack off the floor, reaches in and
pulls out the pieces of the broken Lumpkins yardstick.
He examines the yardstick pieces...and gets wistful.
In DELEVISION, we see Elizabeth measuring Delbert against the
kitchen doorjamb, and Hal waiting expectantly at the table.
Delbert looks again at the yardstick pieces and mutters...
DELBERT
What have I done?
RICK THE RUTHLESS
Now, my boy, now...the chair!!
Delbert looks up into the dark shaft. His eyes suddenly widen
and he dives onto the floor.
The now-raggedy barber chair lands violently on the floor in
the underground cavern/prison. WHOMP!
RICK THE RUTHLESS
That’s what I’m talking ‘bout!
A second later, Dr. Sonya falls from the blackened shaft and
lands in the chair.
RICK THE RUTHLESS
Sissy!! How nice of you to drop in.
Sonya is dazed from the fall.
DR. SONYA
...did I miss anything?
RICK THE RUTHLESS
Just in time! To the surface and
the New TRIP World Order!
DR. SONYA
Uh, hold up, Rick. General Eastland
sent me down to tell you if you
come peacefully no one has to get
hurt.
RICK THE RUTHLESS
HAH! Rick the Ruthless is all about
the HURT!!! Going up!?
Delbert, Bushy, and Aussie pile onto Sonya in the barber
chair. Rick stands next to it and starts to vibrate.
Sparks spew from each of Rick’s fingertips like a sparkler
array. His vibration turns into violent shaking... and the
ground underneath their feet rumbles.
RICK THE RIGHTEOUS
Up, up, and away!!!
DELBERT
We don’t have to hurt anyone, do
we?
RICK THE RUTHLESS
Don’t have to, but I want to
anyway.
Delbert hugs Rick tightly until the shaking stops.
RICK THE RUTHLESS
Seriously? Fine-FINE! No one will
be hurt.
(aggravated)
We’re together all of ten minutes,
son, and ALREADY YOU’RE A ROOT
CANAL! Now, the code!!
Delbert reluctantly enters the code. The chair rises, slowly
at first.
RICK THE RUTHLESS
I’ve been waiting thirteen years
for this payback...er, uh, moment.
DELBERT
I don’t know, Dad. Maybe we...
Rick’s entire body begins to vibrate and shudder again.
Sparks from his fingers turn into LIGHTNING BOLTS. His body
quakes, rocks and rolls. The LIGHTNING BOLTS explode the
rocky surface around the barber chair shaft.
The bedrock CRACKS, and surges upward like a massive platform
stage... carrying Rick, Sonya, Delbert, Bushy, and Aussie
speeding toward the surface.
Up and up they go... and just before they reach the surface,
Rick fires more lightning bolts from his fingertips... and he
PARTS THE EARTH ABOVE THEM LIKE MOSES PARTING THE RED SEA!
The Earth’s crust cracks and crumbles under Rick’s power...
Genres:
["Science Fiction","Action","Fantasy"]
Ratings
Scene
50 -
Chaos in Area 51
EXT. AREA 51 - MAIN SQUARE - NIGHT
The real General Eastland and hundreds of armed soldiers
surround the LEVEL ONE TRIPs in the center of the Area 51
main square.
THUNDER AND LIGHTNING somehow sound from BENEATH them. The
square undulates in waves under their feet!
KA-BOOM! A massive geyser of Earth explodes into the moonlit
night like a volcano blast. And a moment later, we see:
Rising up to the square like a manic Vegas extravaganza.
Rick twirls, resplendent in his flowing, sequined cape.
RICK THE RUTHLESS
THAT’S HOW YOU MAKE AN ENTRANCE!
General Eastland barks orders to his men.
GENERAL EASTLAND
Get’em, men.
TRIP Whiff separates from the crowd being guarded by the
soldiers, runs toward the general, stops and spreads his arms
as if in ecstasy.
WHIFF
Enjoy, General-san.
GENERAL EASTLAND
EWWWW. Talk about a natural
disaster...
General Eastland and his men fall onto the ground, retching,
throwing up, heaving, then passing out.
TRIP Yodelayheehoo watches the spectacle and begins to yodel
gleefully. Whiff’s odor finally wafts to him, causing him to
cough violently.
TRIP YODELAYHEEHOO
Ach! I cannot feel my feet!
With that, Yodelayheehoo passes out and falls on top of
General Eastland, who’s out cold in a small puddle of vomit.
Delbert tries to calm his “father.”
DELBERT
Stop, Dad. You’re free! We can
just go! No one will stop us!
RICK THE RUTHLESS
HA-HA! No one can stop me... not
even you.
Waving his hands like a conductor, Rick conjures up a
windstorm whipping about the square, sucking in sand and
debris.
RICK THE RUTHLESS
First, we’ll rip this place apart,
brick-by-brick, soldier-by-soldier!
DELBERT
What for?! Why?! We’re not the bad
guys. We’re the good guys.
RICK THE RUTHLESS
Are you really this dim? The cape
says RUTHLESS for a reason, boy!
PWOOSH! Rick churns the winds into a massive CYCLONE six-
hundred yards across. Towering walls of wind, sand, and
lightning rip off roofs, suck up vehicles, and helpless
soldiers unconscious from Whiff’s overpowering stink.
DELBERT
Stop, Dad! Don’t do this!
(from his heart)
I - can’t - amplify - hate!
Relishing his destructive powers. Rick dances about.
RICK THE RUTHLESS
You already have, my boy. Sissy,
get this teenage buzzkill out of my
hair, would you?!
(twirling)
I HAD MORE FUN CHAINED TO A WALL!
Genres:
["Science Fiction","Action","Fantasy"]
Ratings
Scene
51 -
Chaos in the Barber Shop
INT. BARBER SHOP - CONTINUOUS
Delbert, Aussie, and Bushy jump off the bedrock platform,
leaving Rick and Sonya, and duck back into the Barber Shop to
hide from Rick and his cyclone. Before the door slams shut,
Aussie grabs TRIP Ha Ha and pulls her inside, too.
The ENTIRE BARBERSHOP (like Dorothy in her Kansas farmhouse)
is lifted intact off the ground and swept into the cyclone
swirling about Area 51.
DELBERT
HOLY WOW!
Windows explode! Lightning crackles amid the surreal cyclone
walls! Delbert gapes as various people fly by -- passed-out
soldiers, General Eastland, unconscious TRIP Yodelayheehoo,
other Level One TRIPs, the multi-hued bus, the Amazon van.
DELBERT
I THINK WE ARE THE BAD GUYS!
Delbert is devastated.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
This disaster was all my fault.
For a moment, I thought I was
supposed to be Delbert Righteous or
even Delbert Ruthless, but no...
IN THE CRACKED BARBER’S MIRROR - DELEVISION FLASHBACK - DAY
We’re back in Dr. Stubbs’ waiting room from the first pages.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
I was always Delbert Lumpkins.
Little bully Tillman (7) has just smudged out Delbert’s (4)
deep-space drawing. Little Delbert starts to cry.
LITTLE TILLMAN
What’s up with your stupid hair?!
Seeing Elizabeth coming their way, Tillman runs off. And Hal
stoops to their special little boy. Wipes Delbert’s eyes.
DELBERT
I hate my hair, Daddy. Everyone
laughs when it stands up.
HAL
Remember what I told you, Delbert?
(off Delbert’s sad look)
You’re like Samson. You have
special hair. Each follicle’s
actually a tiny antenna sending and
receiving messages from the
Universe. You’re destined for
great things, son. Great things.
Little Delbert brightens as we CUT TO present Delbert in:
THE BARBER SHOP FLYING IN THE CYCLONE
Delbert feels his hair standing up. Then, in the mayhem
below, he sees Rick’s hair also standing up.
RICK THE RUTHLESS
(kissing his own hands)
HA-HA! HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?!!!
Knowing what he must do, Delbert grabs a barber’s clippers
hanging on the barber shop wall.
EXT. AREA 51 - SQUARE - EYE OF THE CYCLONE - CONTINUOUS
Rick is in full TRIP glory. Cape flowing, lightning
crackling, he makes a theatrical show of the final
destruction, until...
Rick’s rock-star hair goes flat. His lightning bolts fizzle
into smoky sparks. And his thunderous cyclone begins to slow
to a very deliberate spin, wherein we see Delbert flying by
in the Barber Shop.
Rick and Sonya spot Delbert flying past, his hair now a
ragged CREWCUT. He waves.
RICK THE RUTHLESS
SISSY, HE STOLE MY THUNDER!
DR. SONYA
...clever boy.
Dying cyclone winds drop mountains of sand about the square.
DR. SONYA
RICK, MOVE ASIDE! LOOK OUT!!!
THUMP-THUMP! Planes, jeeps, the Amazon truck and the
multicolored bus, along with dazed soldiers, land softly in
the cushy dunes. And Delbert’s barbershop crash-lands atop:
DR. SONYA
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
A cloud of dust. All Rick can see is his sister’s legs (more
Wizard of Oz homage) sticking out from underneath the shop.
RICK THE RUTHLESS
NO!! THE BARBER SHOP KILLED SISSY!
Level One TRIP Ha-Ha climbs out of the side window of the
barber shop.
We see Sonya’s legs vibrate, SHRINKING THEMSELVES DOWN until
Sonya is small enough to shimmy from under the shop.
Clapping in joy, Rick regards his shrunken sister.
RICK THE RUTHLESS
Oh, look at you. You’re adorable!
(lifts little Sonya)
But what do we do now, Sissy?
DR. SONYA
(Munchkin voice)
Remember I said I had a Plan B?
Hearing Dr. Sonya’s Munchkin voice, TRIP Ha Ha stuffs her
sari into her mouth, but it’s no use, she can’t help herself.
She starts to giggle.
HA HA
Tee-hee.
Everyone within earshot of Ha Ha who is not passed out from
TRIP Whiff-- soldiers, Level Ones, starts to laugh
uncontrollably, including Rick and Dr. Sonya.
RICK THE RUTHLESS
Plan B?! Ha-ha. You know I’ve never
been a good listener -- Ha-ha.
Before Rick can finish, the shop’s door swings open and...
CONKS Rick in the head. The blow knocks him out, stone-cold.
Delbert stands in the doorway. Sonya yells to Aussie.
DR SONYA
Ha-ha. GRAB HIM! Ha-ha. WE’RE
MOVING TO PLAN B! Ha-ha.
Giggling, Aussie grabs Delbert, who’s weak from laughter.
Dr. Sonya, body vibrating, grows back to her normal size.
She speaks into her SPAZMAT phone.
DR. SONYA
Ha-ha. SPAZMAT, reverse cycle! Ha-
ha. Transfer 2025-Delbert stream to
TRIP stream 0281-HotSonya! Ha-ha.
CLANG! The side doors of the nearby Amazon truck fly open on
their own. Inside, the SPAZMAT machine comes to life.
Instant pain replaces Ha-Ha induced laughter. Delbert drops
to his knees, screaming as we see energy particles FLOWING
OUT FROM DELBERT INTO SONYA...
Genres:
["Action","Sci-Fi","Comedy","Adventure"]
Ratings
Scene
53 -
Chaos at Area 51
INT. AREA 51 - DELIVERY GATE - GUARD SHACK - NIGHT
VROOM-VROOM-VROOM! Elizabeth blows through what’s left of
the guard shack entrance, followed closely by three state
police cars with sirens blaring and strobes flashing.
INT./EXT. MINIVAN - MOVING - NIGHT
Elizabeth speeds and weaves through a surreal Area 51
obstacle course of falling debris, Level One TRIPs, and
soldiers.
DR. STUBBS
LOOK OUT!!!
The airborne roof of one of the razed buildings CRASH-BANGS
toward them. Elizabeth veers just in time, but the three
police cars chasing them get waylaid by the mass of crashing
wreckage.
PERRO
TURN LEFT! LEFT, HURRY!
(sniffing out the window)
I SMELL DELBERT’S PAIN!
ELIZABETH
HIS PAIN?!
PERRO
SI! MUCHO PAIN!
VROOOOOM! They speed into the mass destruction of the main
square. Amid blustering winds, sand, and flotsam they spot:
DELBERT
He’s writhing in unbearable agony amid the manic Ha-Ha
induced laughter around him. Delbert’s entire body has
SHRUNK. His XXXL TRIP sweats hang off his body.
DR. SONYA
Ha-ha. I tried, nephew. Ha-ha. I
tried to do this the warm and fuzzy
way. Now we’ll do it Auntie Sonya’s
way! Ha-ha.
VROOOM! Elizabeth speeds the minivan directly at Dr. Sonya.
ELIZABETH
GET AWAY FROM MY SON! MOMMA’S
COMING, BABY. MOMMA’S COMING!!!
Sonya climbs into the Amazon truck’s driver’s seat.
DR. SONYA
We’ll finish on the fly! Ha-ha. Put
my brother and the boy in back!
Aussie puts an unconscious Rick and severely weakened Delbert
in the back of the Amazon truck as we CUT TO:
Genres:
["Action","Sci-Fi","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
54 -
Chase Through the Alien Graveyard
EXT. BACK SIDE OF AREA 51 - NIGHT
Rick’s cyclone has toppled fences and razed airplane hangars.
The roofless hangers reveal a huge expanse, a GRAVEYARD of
HUNDREDS OF CRASHED EXTRATERRESTRIAL SPACESHIPS.
VROOOOM! Dr. Sonya speeds the Amazon truck past the hangers.
INT. AMAZON PRIME TRUCK - MOVING - NIGHT
Eyes rolling open, Rick sees something and double-takes.
Glittering energy particles stream out from pained, shrinking
Delbert... into Sonya as she drives the truck (NOTE: This
stream will continue all throughout the chase sequence).
RICK THE RUTHLESS
Sissy... you’re stealing back my
thunder. Brilliant!
(re: stream)
If YOU become the amplifier we
don’t need the kid anymore!
DR. SONYA
Plan B, dear brother. Plan B!
DELBERT
(strains to speak)
You guys... awful... LeBron and
Marky Mark will be... so mad --
RICK THE RUTHLESS
The boy doesn’t know yet, does he?
(off Sonya’s smirk)
Bron-Bron isn’t a real TRIP. Your
auntie just convinced him he was
‘cause you’re such a blithering
idiot for basketball.
DELBERT
Mark Wahlberg? Is he...?
RICK THE RUTHLESS
Oh, right. He’s not either.
Sissy’s been crushing on him since
his Calvin Klein days. She just
wanted to meet him, check out
his...uh,...“aura.”
Dr. Sonya turns to wink at Delbert, then pulls down the
driver’s sun visor, revealing a ripped Mark Wahlberg in an
old Calvin Klein ad.
VROOOM! Sonya speeds onward as we CUT TO:
INT./EXT. MINIVAN - CONTINUOUS
From out of nowhere, VROOOOM! Elizabeth’s damaged minivan
(Perro’s head is still out the window) is in hot pursuit,
chasing Sonya’s Amazon truck along the dusty road.
Elizabeth is driving her mini-man like she’s in a demolition
derby. She rams the Amazon truck, causing it to swerve. Hal
rides shotgun. Bobo, Daria, Dr. Stubbs and Perro are crammed
in the back like a clown car.
INT./EXT. PRIME TRUCK - NIGHT
BAM-BAM! Sonya sideswipes the minivan. They crash-back and
forth against each other.
One of the jolts sends Rick flying headfirst into the truck
wall, knocking him out yet again.
Delbert is conscious, but his life force is draining from his
body and streaming into Sonya’s.
Delbert regards Aussie watching over him. Mustering the last
of his strength, Delbert rises.
AUSSIE
STOP, MATE! JUST RELAX AND ENJOY!
No. Delbert’s taking a last, INSANE shot at survival.
DELBERT (SINGING)
I had a dream... A dream about
you, baby, it’s going to come true,
baby...
Unable to stop himself, Aussie duets along with him.
AUSSIE AND DELBERT (SINGING)
You’ll be swell, you’ll be great.
Gonna have the whole world on a
plate. Starting here, starting
now, honey, everything’s coming up
roses...
Aussie doesn’t realize Delbert has slipped his phone into the
SPAZMAT receptacle. We see the energy particles flowing into
Sonya turning dark and dangerous.
The SPAZMAT screen DISPLAYS THE GROZILLA video game we saw
Delbert and Bobo playing on Delbert’s phone in Delbert’s
bedroom. Grozilla grows larger as he eats everything in
sight. Like Grozilla, Sonya rapidly grows bigger... and
BIGGER... and BIGGER.
Sonya cuts the wheel to take out Elizabeth, until... BLOOP-
BLOOP-BLOOP! Sonya’s fingers fatten like huge sausages.
DR. SONYA
What is this! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
AUSSIE AND DELBERT (SINGING)
CURTAIN UP, LIGHT THE LIGHTS, YOU
GOT NOTHING TO HIT BUT THE HEIGHTS!
DR. SONYA
AUSSIE --
Rick rouses from his dazed stupor just as BLUP-BLUP!
Sonya’s butt cheeks expand so ridiculously and exponentially
large.... the anchor bolts on the driver’s seat SNAP OFF.
PHWOOOSH! The seat gives way and rockets at Aussie and Rick,
scooping them up and blowing out the back doors into the
darkness outside. KA-BAM! Dr. Sonya hangs on to the steering
wheel with her fat fingers.
Delbert’s duet is now a solo.
DELBERT
You’ll be swell, you’ll be great, I
can tell, just you wait...
DR. SONYA
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?!!!
Her stomach blubbers so big she can barely hold the wheel.
DELBERT
Same thing you did to me, Auntie!
I’m making you a bigger person.
On cue, Sonya’s belly grows yet again. This time, the
steering wheel SNAPS OFF in her fleshy gorilla hands. UH-OH!
EXT./INT. MINIVAN - MOVING
Elizabeth, Hal, Bobo, Daria, Perro and Dr. Stubbs gasp as the
truck careens off the road. It bounces sideways down a steep
ravine.
ELIZABETH HAL
NOOOO, NOT MY BABY BOY!!! DELBERT!!!
Genres:
["Sci-Fi","Action","Comedy","Adventure"]
Ratings
Scene
56 -
Reunion and Resolution at the Ravine
EXT. RAVINE - AMAZON TRUCK - NIGHT
Elizabeth, Hal, Dr. Stubbs, Daria, and Bobo climb down the
steep downslope. Perro follows, sniffing rocks and lifting
his leg to mark the trees and rocks.
BOBO
Wait! Is that... Grozilla’s butt?
Bobo points to the Amazon truck’s back doors. Through the
dark they see...
Two magnificently large butt-cheeks wedged in the open door
frame like a pair of glowing full moons.
Everyone gasps as one of the big moons rises. Delbert
wriggles out. He looks up to the sea of panicked faces.
DELBERT
It’s okay, guys.
(re: massive butt cheeks)
Auntie Sonya’s like a giant human
air bag.
YAY!!! Bobo and Daria cheer and clap as Elizabeth and Hal
rush to Delbert, teary-eyed. Delbert stands above them on
the back bumper. Elizabeth stares at her son and his new
ragged crewcut. Perro sniffs around the Amazon truck, then
lifts his leg to water the still spinning tire.
ELIZABETH
Delbert! Who cut your hair?
Hal puts his hand on his wife’s shoulder, shakes his head.
ELIZABETH
Never mind. Thank God you’re okay.
My heart must have broken a
thousand times today.
(voice breaking)
We’re so sorry, Delbert. Dr.
Stubbs told us everything -- how
these folks are your real family.
DELBERT
That’s not true.
(wipes wet eyes)
I’m Delbert Hotchkiss Lumpkins.
Son of Elizabeth and Hal Lumpkins.
(from his heart)
The Universe gave me to you and
Daddy for a reason -- you and Daddy
are the ones who amplify me.
You’re my real family and always
will be.
Tears flowing, they hug their beloved boy tight. Delbert
removes the yardstick pieces from his backpack and gives them
to Hal.
DELBERT
You think you can glue this back
together?
Hal studies the pieces of yardstick.
HAL
I think we can.
DELBERT
And measure me with it on my
birthdays?
(off Hal’s smile)
A wise man once told me that the
true measure of a man is in how
tall he makes others feel.
Elizabeth hugs her son tightly, then Hal wraps his arms
around them both.
DR. SONYA (STUCK IN TRUCK)
HA-HA! YOU THINK YOU’VE WON!
AMAZON TRUCK DRIVER’S DOOR
Sonya’s gigantic face is smushed against the busted window.
She cackles like a villain who’s gone stark raving mad.
DR. SONYA
WRONG! YOU’RE STILL SHRINKING,
NEPHEW! SPAZMAT IS DAMAGED.
(MORE)
DR. SONYA (CONT’D)
(Sonya is too stuck to
vibrate)
SO YOU’LL KEEP SHRINKING AND DARIA
WILL KEEP BEING UGLY, HA-HA-HA!
Elizabeth darkens. POW! Socks Sonya in the chops.
But what Sonya said is true. Delbert’s now swimming in his
TRIP sweats. He’s shrunk all the way down to 5’7”.
He turns to Daria beside him, her skin growing more pimply.
DELBERT
To me, Daria, you never looked more
beautiful than right now.
Daria softens. Leans forward. Her lips almost touch
Delbert’s until SIRENS sound. Dr. Stubbs hurries forward.
DR. STUBBS
Delbert, the SPAZMAT’s broken, but
I think we can stop you from
shrinking further. Put this on.
Dr. Stubbs removes from his wrist the distinctive red and
silver watch we’ve seen before. He gives it to Delbert.
DR. STUBBS
This is an inhibitor watch.
DELBERT
What’s it do?
DR. STUBBS
It...it’s a long story, but
basically it blocks...never
mind..., it’ll stop your shrinking.
Squads of government agents descend on the scene of the
accident as we DISSOLVE TO BLACK:
DELBERT (NARRATION)
Within minutes, Area Fifty-one and
the wrecked Amazon truck and
SPAZMAT were teeming with hundreds
of government agents.
FADE UP TO:
GOVERNMENT AGENTS watch a military chopper haul the Amazon
truck off with Sonya’s giant butt cheeks mooning the crowd
out the truck’s back doors.
DR. SONYA (STUCK IN TRUCK)
HEY, STUPID DUBS! DOES THIS TRUCK
MAKE ME LOOK FAT?! HA-HA!
DELBERT (NARRATION)
They never found my father Rick or
Aussie, but they cut a deal with
the rest of us. Until the
government agencies could puzzle
out what to do next, we’d all go
back to Oxford and act as if none
of this ever happened.
-- Dr Stubbs and TRIPs sign forms: UNDER PENALTY OF LAW...
DELBERT (NARRATION)
But Dr. Stubbs wanted more for me.
So he negotiated one more
condition...
FADE UP TO SOCIAL MEDIA HEADLINES:
EXONERATED! SCHOOL BOARD CLEARS LUMPKINS TO PLAY, REINSTATES
BULLDOG WINS. CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP TONIGHT!
YOUTUBER JUJI
Lumpkins’ second drug test cleared
him of all doping charges. And the
Bulldogs will need their young star
more than ever.
Behind her we see the OXFORD HIGH SCHOOL BAND. And a long
hand-painted sign that reads: “FORGIVE US, DELBERT!”
YOUTUBER JUJI
Last night, five Bulldog players
ate jumbo fish tacos and came down
with food poisoning.
PULL BACK TO reveal the YouTube crew is livestreaming at:
EXT. OXFORD HIGH SCHOOL - GYM - FRONT ENTRANCE - NIGHT
Stacks of Goodwill boxes. Principal Logan (pointing about),
cheerleaders, Bobo, and Olivia handing out retro Delbert-like
Goodwill sweats to incoming Bulldog fans.
Within minutes, fans decked out in loud, velvety, retro
sweats and hoodies pack the stands.
Amid the crowd we note SCORES OF FEDS from the crash site.
Genres:
["Sci-Fi","Action","Comedy","Adventure"]
Ratings
Scene
57 -
Shrinking Under Pressure
INT. OXFORD H.S GYM - NIGHT
The place is full to the rafters but deathly quiet.
Fans swap stunned looks. We can hear hushed murmurs. “How
did he get so small?!” “What happened to his hair?!”
PULL BACK TO see Delbert at mid-court. He’s holding steady
at 5’7” (due to Dr. Stubbs’ inhibitor watch). But his
uniform is much too big.
Beside him are Brucey the Bulldog, Coach Humphreys, Hal and
Elizabeth. They listen to Dr. Stubbs addressing the crowd,
which includes Bobo and Daria.
DR. STUBBS
(speaking into microphone)
Here’s the situation, folks.
Delbert was diagnosed with a rare
non-contagious condition known as T-
R-P Syndrome, a neurological growth
disorder...
Stubbs’ ears start to smoke. The crowd gasps, then groans in
sympathy.
DR. STUBBS
The pubescent hypothalamus causes
cells to contract, polarizing
signals to the endocrine, exocrine,
skeletal, and lymphatic systems...
Murmurs and mumbled condolences run through the spectators.
Elizabeth grabs the mic from Stubbs to calm the crowd. Stubbs
pats his ears to cool them down.
ELIZABETH
Folks, it sounds worse than it is.
Delbert’s just got a lil’ ‘case of
the Shrinky Dinks is all.
COACH HUMPHREY
(grabs the mic)
GO BULLDOGS!!!
YEAH!!! The band plays a fight song and fans CHEER as...
-- A referee tosses the ball high for the tip-off of the
conference championship -- Bulldogs vs. Bears.
-- A LANKY BEAR GUARD towers over Delbert. Pops an easy
jumper over Delbert’s hand. Talks smack, backpedaling.
LANKY TIGER GUARD
Too small, lil’ man! TOO SMALL!
-- Delbert brings up the ball. DELEVISION: Arrows speed
about showing him angles past the gigantic defenders until...
... the DELEVISION ARROWS SPUTTER OUT...
DELBERT (NARRATION)
Nooooo, the inhibitor watch is
cutting out my DELEVISION!
(MORE)
DELBERT (NARRATION) (CONT'D)
(then)
But if I take it off... I shrink.
-- Stealing the ball from Delbert, Lanky streaks the other
way for a lay-up. And it keeps getting worse.
-- SCOREBOARD: 2ND PERIOD. BEARS: 31 - BULLDOGS: 18
-- Rapid fire DELEVISION disasters. Arrows glitching and
sputtering. Delbert’s shots rejected. His passes deflected.
-- Seconds before halftime, Lanky drives the lane. Sends
Delbert to the wood. His wrist slams into the hard surface.
WHAM! Lanky is WHISTLED for a charge.
- Delbert hits his first free throw as... TWO THINGS happen.
ONE: His DELEVISION begins to return. Bold arrows fly, the
numbers and ratios start to stream.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
Yeah, baby, it’s coming back!
And TWO: Delbert starts SHRINKING again. Faster than ever.
He peeks under his wristband -- the DISTINCTIVE RED AND
SILVER WATCH FACE IS SMASHED.
DELBERT (V.O.)
But now I’m getting even smaller...
Hands trembling, Delbert misses his second free throw as...
his tube socks slip down to his ankles. And we CUT TO:
Genres:
["Drama","Sports"]
Ratings
Scene
58 -
From Fear to Empowerment
INT. BULLDOG LOCKER ROOM - BATHROOM STALL - NIGHT
The stall walls are covered in colorful graffiti.
Delbert sits atop the john, hiding. He stares at his
shrinking hands, terrified. Tillman POUNDS the stall door.
TILLMAN (O.S.)
You can’t hide in there forever,
Crybaby! We’re nineteen points
down, and it’s ALL YOUR FAULT!!!
The scared teen hears his coach lead the team out the door.
Alone in the locker room, still hunkered down in the stall,
Delbert is too scared to move.
DELBERT
I can’t go back out there, I can’t!
(to the heavens)
Help me! Tell me what to do?!
Delbert sits there, broken. Then... he notices the chaotic
graffiti on the stall walls starting to move.
His crew-cut hair grows and stands up as he spots a message
forming from the junky scrawl: THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN’T DO!
DELBERT
That’s it, Universe? That’s the
best you got? Can you be more
specific?
With that, the graffitied stall MORPHS into a SPIRALING BLACK
HOLE! Terrifying and beautiful at once.
IN DELEVISION we see the massive black hole, as it ... MORPHS
into a spiraling hurricane... which then MORPHS into the
spiral of a basketball spinning in slow motion... then into a
spinning chambered Nautilus... and finally a cascading
snowflake...
DELBERT
Holy Wow...
And as DELEVISION ZOOMS deeper into the tiny snowflake,
Delbert sees its geometric patterns continue ad infinitum.
DELBERT
... I think I finally get it now.
The universe isn’t just outside me,
it’s inside me too.
(awestruck)
No matter how big or small I am,
there’s nothing I can’t do.
Off our hero’s thunderstruck expression, CUT TO:
Genres:
["Drama","Fantasy","Coming-of-Age"]
Ratings
Scene
59 -
The Cosmic Game-Changer
INT. OXFORD GYM - PACKED STANDS - NIGHT
Stunned faces. Collective GASP. A government agent makes an
urgent call.
GOVERNMENT AGENT (HUSHED INTO CELL)
Red-Six-Twenty. Jam all cell
signals. Initiate social media
wipe.
Now we see why -- shocked fans, players, and coaches gape as
Delbert comes into view. He’s only 4’7” now (same height as
when we first met him). His trunks dangle down to his
ankles.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
From this moment on, nothing in my
life would ever be the same... but
I guess that’s how you really grow.
IN THE STANDS, maternal instincts move Elizabeth toward
Delbert, but Hal stops her. He speaks softly but knowingly:
HAL
Let him be, my love.
(motions to Delbert)
The Fates gave us a child of the
stars... We need to let him shine.
A stunned Coach Humphreys does his hand-measuring routine.
And the YouTuber crew LIVESTREAMS the extraordinary scene.
YOUTUBER JUJI
To all our streamers out there,
this is no A.I. or Photoshop --
what you’re seeing is GOING DOWN
LIVE -- RIGHT NOW!
YOUTUBE CAMERAMAN
Wait, our camera just died!
And it’s not just the YouTuber crew’s camera. The cell
phones of everyone in the gym mysteriously power down, except
for the federal agents.
ON DARIA IN THE FRONT ROW
Her heart breaks for Delbert.
Delbert approaches his big-hearted, acne-challenged Siberian
ex-girlfriend. She stands up before him, at least seven
inches taller.
DELBERT
Daria, can I... can I kiss you?
DARIA
Uh..., okay.
The crowd watches as... Daria closes her eyes... and Delbert
stands on his tip-toes to kiss the tall, pimpled beauty.
As their lips meet something SUPERFANTASTICAL happens:
-- SPARKS fly from the overhead gym lights blinking out...
-- ELECTRICITY surges in every direction.
-- Delbert’s crew-cutted hair grows another half-inch and
stands on end...
-- Daria’s HAIR STANDS ON END...
DELBERT DARIA
That felt awesome! You are best kisser EVER!
-- HAIR RISES ON EVERY PERSON IN THE GYM.
-- Soda cups BURST! Popcorn FLIES! And the FLASHLIGHTS of
hundreds of cell phones somehow SHINE ON THEIR OWN.
-- The YouTubers’ camera POWERS UP by itself.
-- Even the feds feel the “Delbert Effect.”
GOVERNMENT AGENT (INTO PHONE)
This TRIP kid’s jamming our jam.
And for the record -- it feels
GOOOD!!!
The YouTubers PAN the elated crowd. Among them, we see Bobo
standing by himself, happy for Delbert and Daria, but lonely.
Bobo glances over at the ADORABLE TEENAGE GIRL next to him.
And she glances back at him.
ADORABLE GIRL
Uhm... aren’t you the kid who stole
your father’s corvette?
Bobo smiles, “Yeah, that’s me!” He notes her fashion sense.
BOBO
I like your capri pants.
Reaching over, Adorable Girl takes Bobo’s hand. Bobo starts
to grin as:
SHRREEEE! The ref blows a whistle to start the second half
as the band breaks into Pink Floyd’s classic LEARNING TO FLY.
RAPID FIRE SERIES OF SHOTS - SECOND HALF ACTION
Music: Into the distance a ribbon of black/ stretched to the
point of no turning back...
-- Delbert dribbles up court as his DELEVISION SLOWLY KICKS
BACK ON. Arrows and algorithms appear faster.
-- Delbert pulls back his wristband to look at his red and
silver inhibitor watch, which is still badly smashed, out of
commission.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
Dr. Stubbs’ inhibitor watch was
still broken, but I could tell I
had stopped shrinking and my
DELEVISION was back, better than
ever. I wondered how, then I saw
Daria, her face clearing, hair
straightening, looking more
beautiful than ever. I think it
might have been the kiss... the
most powerful kiss in the whole
wide world.
-- SCOREBOARD DISSOLVES track the Bulldogs catching up.
-- Delbert notes another oddity. His sneakers get tighter.
So does his uniform. OUR HERO IS GROWING before our eyes.
-- WHAP-WHAP! Delbert’s now tall enough to block a shot!
MUSIC: Can’t keep my eyes from the circling sky/ tongue-tied
and twisted just an earthbound misfit, I.
-- Delbert changes into bigger sneakers. When he stands,
Coach Humphreys measures him with his hands. “You were here,
and now you’re here!”
-- 4th PERIOD. Bulldogs only four points down as... we
notice more Feds coming into the gym
-- Delbert notices them as well. Agents now BLOCK THE EXITS.
-- SCOREBOARD. 5 seconds left. Bulldogs down by only 1.
-- DELEVISION: Big bodies, swooshing arrows, fly all about
the court. Amid the madness, Delbert steals a pass.
He spots Tillman streaking down court. He fires the rock to
Tillman with 3 seconds on the clock.
-- Tillman goes up for a game winning lay-up. Too hard. He
MISSES. The ball rims out back into the air. NOOOOOOO!!!
MUSIC: There’s no sensation to compare with this... suspended
animation, a state of bliss!
-- Soaring high, Delbert tips the ball into the goal just
before, BAAAAHHH! The buzzer sounds. The red light shines.
And the Bulldogs win their conference championship!!!
LATER
A post-game celebration. Victory. Rapture. Bulldog players
jump for joy.
TILLMAN
YEAH, LUMPY! YOU SAVED MY BACON!
DELBERT
(smiles, noting)
Are you crying?
TILLMAN
Yeah... guess I am.
DELBERT
(has to say it)
It’s no fun if you don’t cry!
Parades of friends, family, and fans surround Delbert.
LATER
YouTuber Juji interviews Delbert, camera on him. Elated
crowd behind him. Juji talks. The whole gym listens:
YOUTUBER JUJI
Delbert, something special took
place here tonight that people
won’t believe. And it’s all
because of you...
Juji’s voice FADES into the background as DELEVISION kicks
in. Delbert sees the gym walls fall away and MORPH into
velvety outer space -- the Universe in all its glory.
Spinning galaxies. Planets in orbit. Shooting stars.
YOUTUBER JUJI (CONT'D)
Can you explain what happened?
Judy and everyone else await Delbert’s answer. Unsure how to
respond, he hesitates.
IN DELEVISION: Delbert sees the TRIP CODE appearing mid-air.
1. TRIPS DO NO HARM
2. TRIPS LIVE IN SERVICE TO OTHERS
3. TRIPS NEVER REVEAL THEMSELVES
The Code’s third line IS CROSSED OUT by some unseen cosmic
hand, however, leaving only the first TWO CODES remaining.
DELBERT (NARRATION)
I guess the Universe was telling me
that TRIPs can no longer hide.
YouTuber Juji and the crowd regard Delbert with confusion.
DELBERT(NARRATION)
I was beginning to understand. This
was my destiny from the beginning,
and it included my telling the
whole world what I am.
With that, the walls and roof MORPH back into the Oxford gym.
Swallowing breath, Delbert finally answers the question.
DELBERT
The truth is, Juji, I found out two
days ago that I... I’m half-alien,
half-human. A hybrid...
Thinking he’s joking, the crowd laughs.
DELBERT
Yeah, sounds crazy. I get it.
(voice breaking)
(MORE)
DELBERT (CONT’D)
I was born what’s called a TRIP,
‘cause my D-N-A has a triple
helix... I HAVE ALIEN DNA.
TILLMAN
HOLD UP. SO YOU REALLY ARE A
FREAK?! I’M RIGHT ALL OVER AGAIN!
We spot Tillman shouting from the crowd. He doesn’t stop
until he notices Brucey the Bulldog peeing on his leg.
DARIA
DEL-bert NOT ALONE! I AM DARIA,
AND I TRIP TOO! I AM HALF-ALIEN!
She walks over to stand beside Delbert in solidarity. Dr.
Stubbs joins them.
Delbert takes off the shattered red and silver inhibitor
watch and gives it to Dr. Stubbs. Delbert mouths “sorry.”
DR. STUBBS
I AM ALSO A TRIP! A HYBRID. MY DNA,
LIKE DELBERT’S AND DARIA’S, IS HALF-
HUMAN, HALF-ALIEN.
The three of them give the stunned crowd the three-finger
TRIP salute.
KA-THUNK. KA-THUNK. The gym’s doors burst open. Delbert’s
happy dog pack storms in and surrounds our young hero. The
dogs stand on their hind legs and prance and bark as if
they’re laughing.
DELBERT
I know I speak for Dr. Stubbs and
Daria. If you folks will give us
TRIPs a chance, you’ll see we’re
not really so different at all!
Remember: TRIPS DO NO HARM AND LIVE
IN SERVICE TO OTHERS.
Delbert shakes Dr. Stubbs’ hand, turns to hug Daria but she’s
gone.
KA-THUNK! Delbert hears the side door closing, and sees
Aussie forcing Daria out the door with him.
EXT. OXFORD GYM - SIDE DOOR - NIGHT
Delbert bursts out the door after Daria and Aussie. He’s
just in time to see Aussie jam Daria into a white van, which
speeds off with none other than Rick the Ruthless driving,
singing at the top of his lungs.
RICK THE RUTHLESS (SINGING BRITNEY)
“OOOPS, I DID IT AGAIN!”
(kisses his hands)
“I’M NOT THAT INNOCENT!”
The white van is disappearing into the darkness. Delbert
looks up and notices a flock of Tufted Titmouse birds perched
on a wire above.
Delbert gets an idea. He bird-calls the flock of Tufted
Titmouse birds.
DELBERT (TWEETS/SUBTITLES)
Hey, Tufted Titmouses! Can you hear
me?
TUFTED TITMOUSE (TWEETS/SUBTITLES)
Sure, but we prefer being referred
to collectively as TUFTED TITMICE.
DELBERT (TWEETS/SUBTITLES)
My bad. But listen, my evil father
just kidnapped my girlfriend and
took off in a white van. Did you
see them?
TUFTED TITMOUSE (TWEETS/SUBTITLES)
You kidding? From up here we see
everything!
DELBERT
I HAVE TO GET HER BACK! CAN YOU
FOLLOW THEM?
Whistling and warbling, the flock takes wing after the van
just as... government agents storm outside and mob tackle
Delbert! As they hustle Delbert off to a black government van
with dark-tinted windows, Delbert pleads with them to save
Daria as they strap him in the back seat between two burly
Feds.
DELBERT
You’ve got to follow that white van
and get Daria back. There’s no
telling what Rick the Ruthless will
do to her!
FEDERAL AGENT
Sure, kid. Next you’ll say the fate
of the Universe depends on getting
your girlfriend back.
Smushed between two burly Feds, Delbert takes a deep breath
and exhales slowly.
Delbert speaks quietly, mainly to himself, as the government
van pulls slowly out of the gym parking lot.
DELBERT
It might. It just might.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END