INT. ZEFFIE'S FLAT - BEDROOM - MORNING
There is a large CALVIN AND HOBBES MURAL on the wall - it’s
the one where Spaceman Spiff is shot down by aliens. Empty
pizza boxes stacked in the corner. Clothes strewn across the
room. Creativity and chaos in equal measure.
Open suitcases lie on the floor - screaming for help.
A large PINBOARD: Random photos, A LinkedIn profile page for a
Dubai-based ad Agency. A birth certificate is pinned in the
corner. In the centre: a faded photo of a young man with
massive '80s hair, circled in big red marker, with the word
‘Manchester’ scribbled underneath. A sticky note with a
solitary word. ‘Mum’.
From under the DUVET: Gentle snoring. A clump of dirty blonde
hair pokes out.
A phone RINGS. The hair doesn't move. The phone rings again.
A groan. Movement, as the duvet shifts.
Underneath, an AWKWARD 180 DEGREE SPIN starts to unfold. The
body rotates and crawls towards the foot of bed, searching
for the phone. The ringing continues.
ZEFFIE (O.S.)
(shouts from under the duvet)
Hang on!
Zeffie (29) pulls back the duvet and spills out from the end
of bed - upside down, hair everywhere, phone in hand.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
(groggy)
Hello?
JORDAN (V.O.)
Zeffie Jones?
She squints at the phone.
ZEFFIE
Yeah. Speaking. Who is this?
JORDAN (V.O.)
Jordan Forbes. BMDM. Dubai.
She slips off the side of the bed onto the floor. THUD!
ZEFFIE
Owww.
And attempts to gain some sort of composure.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
Hi. Yes. Good morning.
JORDAN
(registers the 'thud')
Is this a good time?
Zeffie wipes her eyes. No, this is not a good time.
ZEFFIE
Perfect.
She grabs a bottle of water and drinks. Jordan continues.
JORDAN (V.O.)
I’m calling about your recent
interest in joining BMDM.
ZEFFIE
Ok..?
JORDAN
That was quite the barrage of
applications you sent in. We
counted eleven.
Zeffie cringes.
ZEFFIE
(nervous)
Was I successful?
JORDAN (V.O.)
No. Not at all. We filled those
particular positions weeks ago.
ZEFFIE
(deflated)
Well thank you for letting me know.
Long pause. Zeffie winds a clump of hair round her finger.
JORDAN (V.O.)
Here's the thing...
And takes another, much needed, gulp of water.
JORDAN
There's been an ‘interesting’
development. A new and exciting
role has just opened up. A role...
ah, directly supporting our
Creative Director. The Squid.
Her breath catches.
ZEFFIE
(trying to sound casual)
I’ve heard of him.
JORDAN
HR said you came across as 'quirky
and slightly unhinged?' Fair
assessment?
ZEFFIE
I prefer 'enthusiastic'.
JORDAN (V.O.)
Let’s go with ‘unhinged
enthusiasm’. Love it. And that,
Miss Jones, is exactly what we need
right now.
Zeffie scans the pinboard and bites her lip.
JORDAN
In one of your applications, you
mention - and these are your words,
not mine - 'no ties in the UK, no
family to speak of, and you don't
really own that much stuff.' Would
that still be accurate?
Zeffie winces. Caught.
ZEFFIE
Completely accurate.
JORDAN (V.O.)
So, here is the bomb drop. We are
very much against the clock on this
one. Would you be able to start
this Friday?
ZEFFIE
Friday? This actual Friday?
Zeffie glances around her bedroom. She bites a clump of hair
and looks up at her pinboard and scans her homework.
JORDAN (V.O.)
Miss Jones?
Decision made.
ZEFFIE
Yes. I can be there Friday.
JORDAN (V.O.)
Excellent. HR will be in touch to
formalise the offer and send you
all the details. You and I will
have a chat and go over everything
when you land. We look forward to
seeing you in Dubai, this Friday,
Zeffie Jones.
The call ends.
Zeffie stands and heads across to the pinboard. She stares at
the picture of the man with the big hair. (beat) She takes the
picture off the board and gently punches the air.
The reality of what has just unfolded, now hits her.
ZEFFIE
Shit.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
2 -
Frantic Drive and Secret Plans
INT. SMART CAR - LONDON STREET - DAY
Music blares as Zeffie steers her battered Smart Car, whilst
frantically shovelling pizza into her mouth. A Coke Zero
balances on the dashboard. Luggage is crammed into the back
seat.
She checks her reflection in the mirror. Hair - a magnificent
disaster - check. Clothes - crumpled but still looks rather
‘cool’ - check. A chunk of CHICKEN slips off onto the floor.
ZEFFIE
Oops.
Her phone rings. Zeffie scrambles and presses her nose on the
screen to accept the call. It connects to the car. On the
other end of the line is Zeffie’s big sister, CRESSIDA (32).
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
I'm ten minutes away.
CRESSIDA (V.O.)
Cool. And we're sticking to the story?
ZEFFIE
Unless you have a better one.
CRESSIDA (V.O.)
'Amazing job opportunity, leaving
tonight, no big deal', blah blah
blah - that's the play right?
ZEFFIE
Not sure what else am I supposed to
say?
CRESSIDA (V.O.)
The truth?
ZEFFIE
No. Not until I'm sure. I need you
to back me up on this.
Beat. Cressida sighs.
CRESSIDA (V.O.)
Fine. But if this goes sideways, I
tried to stop you, right?
ZEFFIE
Deal.
CRESSIDA (V.O.)
Mum is going to shit several kittens.
ZEFFIE
(grimaces)
I know.
CRESSIDA (V.O.)
You’re fucking mental. Love you.
Zeffie takes a big chug of Coke Zero.
ZEFFIE
Love you too.
Ends the call.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
3 -
Unexpected Departure
EXT. PLUSH SUBURBIA HOUSE - DAY
Zeffie powers up the drive and slides to halt in front of a
sprawling house. She checks her phone.
ZEFFIE
Let’s do this.
INT. PLUSH SUBURBIA DINING ROOM - DAY
The Jones family patiently sit around the dining table.
Parents TIMOTHY (62) and JEMIMA (59) sit on one side.
Opposite, CRESSIDA (32) and GRANNY MAY (81). A place is set
for one more. They wait.
TIMOTHY
Did she say what this was about?
JEMIMA
Just 'I have news.' That's never a
good thing with her. Remember the
Van?
TIMOTHY
God. I had forgotten about the Van.
GRANNY MAY
(whispers to Cressida)
I'm wearing my 'everything is about
to go tits up' cardigan.
CRESSIDA
(nervous)
Wow. Really?
GRANNY MAY
I wore it at your cousin's wedding.
CRESSIDA
She's dead Grandma.
GRANNY MAY
Exactly.
A car door SLAMS! An alarm goes off — frantic beeping.
The alarm eventually stops. We HEAR the jangling of keys in
the front door. CRASH! - something expensive is knocked over,
followed by a muffled profanity. Another crash and more
swearing.
Cressida mouths to herself: 'Here we go.'
Finally Zeffie, the youngest daughter of Jemima and Timothy
enters the room, with smile turned up to 11.
PING! Zeffie checks her mobile. Her car is arriving in ten
minutes. She runs round the table greeting everyone like it’s
a Traitors breakfast.
Finally, Zeffie is ready to address the group.
ZEFFIE
Just wanted to let you all know...
I'm leaving for Dubai. Tonight. My
flight is in three hours. There's a
car coming. I wanted to pop in and
say goodbye.
The group is stunned.
JEMIMA
What the..?
GRANNY MAY pulls her cardigan tighter.
CRESSIDA
(playing along)
Tonight? As in today? Tonight? But
it's good news right?
ZEFFIE
Yep. I got a great offer. At an
agency. They need me to start
immediately.
JEMIMA
Isn't this a bit... I don't know...
SUDDEN!!?
ZEFFIE
It's a big agency. Things happen
fast.
Cressida jumps in - this is her cue.
CRESSIDA
Well I think this is absolutely
fantastic. My little sister
exploring deepest, darkest...
Dubai. Well done you.
Timothy is NOT buying it.
TIMOTHY
Hold on. You had no job yesterday.
Now you're leaving to the Middle
East. Tonight?
Zeffie looks to Cressida. Tiny panic.
CRESSIDA
(jumping in)
She's been applying for months,
Dad. Things happen fast! Blink and
you’ll miss it. Right Zeff?
Beat. Cressida shoots her sister a supportive look. Zeffie
mouths 'thank you.'
TIMOTHY
I am not driving all the way to
Dubai to come and save your arse!
ZEFFIE
I know Dad. I know.
PING! Her car is arriving soon. Jemima stands.
JEMIMA
Kitchen! Now!
Jemima heads out. Zeffie follows.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
4 -
A Ticking Clock
INT. JONES FAMILY KITCHEN - DAY
ZEFFIE
I don't have much time.
JEMIMA
Then we better talk fast. Dubai?
What do you mean Dubai?
ZEFFIE
I've landed a job. At an amazing
agency. They called and said they
need me there tomorrow.
Jemima scrubs a pot that's already clean. Zeffie grabs a tea
towel, picks up a dry plate from the rack.
JEMIMA
You've never mentioned Dubai. Not
once.
ZEFFIE
It just... happened.
JEMIMA
No. Don't. Don't do that.
ZEFFIE
Do what?
JEMIMA
Your 'deflecty smiley' thing. What
aren't you telling me?
Jemima waits for an answer that doesn't come.
JEMIMA (CONT’D)
Your sister's been lying since you
walked in. We're not idiots.
ZEFFIE
She was trying to help.
Jemima pushes hard.
JEMIMA
Why?
ZEFFIE
(struggling)
Hard to explain right now. But it
is important. I promise.
Jemima searches her daughters face. Her tone shifts.
JEMIMA
Are you in trouble?
ZEFFIE
No. Not in trouble.
JEMIMA
Then what?
ZEFFIE
This is just a 'me' thing.
Sometimes you get a box, that you
just got to find the tick for.
She studies Zeffie's face - looking for cracks in the armour.
Nothing.
Jemima sets down her sponge, dries her hands. Jemima knows she
won't get anything more from her daughter.
JEMIMA
I don't understand what you're
doing.
ZEFFIE
I know.
JEMIMA
And... I think you're making a
mistake.
ZEFFIE
(quietly)
I know.
Jemima sighs - She’s not angry, just tired. And worried.
JEMIMA
You've always been like this. Since
you were little. Once you've
decided on something...
ZEFFIE
(small smile)
Stubborn?
JEMIMA
I prefer determined.
She opens her arms. Zeffie steps into the hug.
JEMIMA (CONT’D)
(into her hair)
And if whatever this is, goes
sideways...
ZEFFIE
I'll call.
JEMIMA
(pulling back, looking at
her)
I don't need you to be a hero.
They hold the hug a moment longer. Jemima releases her.
JEMIMA (CONT’D)
Your father...
ZEFFIE
Huh?
JEMIMA
Is probably pacing a hole in the
driveway.
Zeffie sighs and heads for the door, then turns back. They share
a simple moment of connection.
ZEFFIE
Mum?
JEMIMA
Go...
Genres:
["Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
5 -
Bittersweet Farewell
EXT. JONES' HOUSEHOLD DRIVEWAY - DAY
Zeffie stuffs her luggage into the waiting car. The family
line up to say goodbye. The cold reality of what she is doing
hits her, as she goes down the line saying her goodbyes.
She throws her car keys to Cressida.
ZEFFIE
There’s chicken under
the front seat.
Cressida nods. That's not unexpected. Zeffie saves the biggest,
longest hug, for GRANNY MAY.
GRANNY MAY
I really do hope you find what
you're looking for.
ZEFFIE
I hope so too.
Zeffie jumps into the back of the car. Timothy turns to the
group.
TIMOTHY
She'll be back by Monday.
ZEFFIE
(leaning out window)
I will not be back by Monday!
The car disappears down the street. The family watches until
it's gone.
Genres:
["Drama","Family"]
Ratings
Scene
6 -
A Toast to Luxury
INT. EMIRATES A380 - BUSINESS CLASS - NIGHT
An impossibly fresh FLIGHT ATTENDANT shows Zeffie to her seat.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT
(perfect poise)
Ms. Jones, welcome. You are in 11A this evening.
She sits and takes in the luxurious seat, desperately trying
to mask her giddy excitement.
ZEFFIE
(to herself)
This is definitely not MegaBus to
Glasgow.
Zeffie randomly pushes buttons and inadvertently triggers a
full ‘lie flat’ bed transformation. She fights to maintain her
composure as she descends to horizontal - just as the flight
attendant returns with champagne.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT
Champagne?
ZEFFIE
(calmly horizontal)
Thank you.
Zeffie reaches up and takes the glass.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT
And perhaps some dates?
ZEFFIE
(uncertain)
Are they... included?
The attendant smiles warmly.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT
Everything is complimentary, Ms. Jones
ZEFFIE
(processing this information)
Everything?
FLIGHT ATTENDANT
(amused)
Everything.
The attendant leaves. Zeffie takes out the photo of the man
with big hair, and sets it on the mini bar and allows herself
a small smile.
ZEFFIE
(raising her glass)
Tits up!
She takes a sip.
FADE TO:
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
7 -
Arrival in Dubai: A Chaotic Welcome
EXT. SCENES OF DUBAI - DAY
Titles over: Dubai. Glittery, modern, exciting. A real buzz.
EXT. DUBAI INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT ARRIVALS - MORNING
Zeffie emerges from the terminal channeling her best movie
star confidence, gnawing on a giant duty free Toblerone.
BAM! The heat and humidity hit hard. She shuffles forward.
Behind her, the crowd push and shove. Zeffie clings to her
Toblerone and tries to remain stoic as the mayhem escalates.
A BUSINESSMAN barrels through with an overloaded luggage cart,
scattering Zeffie, her bags - and her Toblerone. Passengers
step around her. A SECURITY GUARD spots Zeffie and helps her
gather up her things.
Zeffie tries to maintain her composure. She calmly readjusts
her sunglasses, just as OMAR (55) the BMDM driver, approaches.
He has an instantly likeable demeanour - think an Asian Tom
Hanks. He holds up a sign that says ‘Zeffie Jones. BMDM’
OMAR
Are you okay madame?
ZEFFIE
Fine. Thank you.
OMAR
My name is Omar. From BMDM. Welcome
to Dubai.
They head off towards Omar’s parked car.
INT. OMAR'S CAR - MORNING
The A/C blasts. Omar hands Zeffie a chilled water. She drinks,
leans back and closes her eyes, as they navigate the morning
traffic.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
8 -
A New Beginning
INT. ZEFFIE’S APARTMENT - MORNING - CONTINUOUS
Omar unlocks the front door and holds it open for Zeffie. She
steps in. Wow. Now this is an apartment.
Omar walks through, opening doors as he goes.
OMAR
Kitchen, bedroom, bathroom.
Everything you need.
He places a FOLDER on the counter top.
OMAR (CONT’D)
Wi-Fi details and emergency
numbers. (looks at Zeffie) You’ll
find a hairdryer in the bedroom
drawer. Mr. Jordan expects us at
the office. I will wait downstairs.
ZEFFIE
(she has no choice)
Thank you, Omar.
He nods and turns to leave.
OMAR
Ten minutes please, Ms. Zeffie!
Door closes.
Zeffie drops her bags and takes in the apartment.
Yes, everything is oversized with too much draped fabric, too
many pillows, and way too many urns. But Zeffie is delighted.
She pulls out the PHOTO of the young man with massive hair,
and sets it on the counter.
She looks at the photo. The urns stare back at her. This is
really happening. She checks her phone.
ZEFFIE
Shit.
She races off to find the bathroom.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
9 -
Desperate Measures
INT. BMDM AGENCY RECEPTION - DAY - DOWNTOWN DUBAI
The cathedral-like lobby of award-harvesting Advertising
Agency, BMDM, screams ‘major player’.
Workers bundle past Zeffie as she approaches the front desk. A
snippy RECEPTIONIST (25) springs up.
RECEPTIONIST
Oooh. Hello there!
ZEFFIE
Oooh. Hello. Hi. Here to meet
Jordan Forbes. I’m starting today.
Zeffie Jones.
RECEPTIONIST
... do you have an appointment?
ZEFFIE
No. I’m starting work today. I’m
supposed to meet Jordan Forbes.
RECEPTIONIST
Visitors need an appointment.
ZEFFIE
I'm not a visitor. I work here.
RECEPTIONIST
Mmm-kay. Let me check if I can make
an appointment for you.
She checks screen. Long pause.
RECEPTIONIST (CONT’D)
I have May 18th? Late afternoon?
ZEFFIE
That’s two weeks away.
RECEPTIONIST
You can wait and see if there's a
cancelation.
ZEFFIE
Are there likely to be any
cancelations?
RECEPTIONIST
Oooh. Of course not.
ZEFFIE
Maybe you could just phone Mr.
Forbes for me?
RECEPTIONIST
Not without an appointment!
The Receptionist drops back down.
Zeffie retreats, digs in her bag and pulls out her SKETCH
PAD. She takes out a marker pen and scribbles. She rips off
the page, stands in the middle of the vast lobby and holds it
up for the passing throngs. Her sign reads ‘HELP’, alongside
a caricature of Zeffie with wild flailing arms.
She stands rooted to the spot whilst the hordes TIME LAPSE
around her.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
10 -
A Whimsical Welcome
INT. BMDM AGENCY RECEPTION - LATER
Handsome, charismatic JORDAN FORBES (55), BMDM’s slick CEO,
powers through the front doors. He spies Zeffie and her sign,
executes a huge sweeping turn, pulls his phone up to his face
and skids up.
JORDAN
(into phone)
... I want all the revolving doors
to spin counter-clockwise. It sends
a message.
Jordan ends his ‘call’.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
Help?
ZEFFIE
Zeffie Jones. I’m starting today.
JORDAN
Yes you are. Jordan Forbes.
Jordan awkwardly tries to fist bump Zeffie. A roller-blading
hostess glides up with a tray of breakfast mocktails. Jordan
hands Zeffie a ‘Guava Bomb’.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
I heard about your Toblerone. Tough
break. Walk with me.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
11 -
Elevator Tension
INT. AGENCY RECEPTION - DAY
Zeffie and Jordan power walk across the reception area, sipping
their drinks.
Up ahead, FIZZ MAALOUF (40) Agency planner, steps into the
elevator. He glances back and sees Jordan approaching. His eyes
widen.
Fizz FRANTICALLY STABS THE ‘CLOSE’ BUTTON.
Jordan picks up pace. Zeffie is dragged along in the slipstream.
The elevator doors start to close.
Jordan thrusts his arm through the gap - still holding his Guava
Bomb, not spilling a drop. The doors bounce back open. Jordan
and Zeffie step inside. Fizz looks like he's been caught
stealing.
FIZZ
(forced smile)
Hi Jordan. Didn't see you there.
Awkward silence. They blast skyward.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
12 -
Elevator Exercise Escapade
INT. BMDM AGENCY, ELEVATOR - MOMENTS LATER
Jordan eyes Fizz suspiciously whilst sucking on his Bomb.
JORDAN
So. Zeffie? That’s a curious name.
Shall I ask human resources to
change that for you?
ZEFFIE
I’m good thanks.
Jordan passes Zeffie his drink and starts to slowly flex up
and down. Fizz keeps his head down and steps back. He knows
what is coming.
Jordan starts some gentle bouncing.
JORDAN
Bouncing - whilst gaining altitude -
obliterates fat and drastically
increases libido.
The bouncing becomes more intense. A concerned Zeffie, backs
into the corner of the lift while trying to hold on to the
Guava Bombs.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
I discharge five hundred bounces a
day.
Jordan gives Fizz a look that says, ‘Join in, or you are
fired’. Fizz and Jordan continue to bounce in perfect unison.
The elevator RATTLES and shakes. An ALARM goes off.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
Feel it. Feel it. Feel it.
The bouncing reaches a crescendo.
Jordan stops bouncing, lands softly and checks his pulse.
BING! They reach the 20th floor. Doors open. Jordan powers out
ahead of Fizz. Zeffie follows, horrified.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
13 -
The Potato Gun Incident
INT. JORDANS OFFICE - DAY
The office is massive, slick and tasteful. Jordan slides into
his chair and leans back. He casually flips through Zeffie’s
CV and frisbees it back onto the desk.
He gestures over his shoulder to a framed picture of Jordan
and a man known as THE SQUID, both decked out in tuxes and
clutching awards. Zeffie stares at the picture.
ZEFFIE
That’s Cannes 2015.
Jordan looks at her, puzzled.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
(covering)
I did my research.
JORDAN
Two days ago he shot a client in
the face with a potato gun.
Zeffie is stunned.
ZEFFIE
What?
Jordan flips his desk monitor around. Silent SECURITY CAM
footage of the ‘incident’, unfolds.
A conference room. The Squid is animatedly twirling what looks
like a gun, whilst holding up creative work. BAM! Jordan
pauses the video - just as the client is blasted backwards off
his chair.
JORDAN
Right in the face.
ZEFFIE
What!!
Zeffie moves closer, studying Squid on the screen. This is the
first time she's seeing Squid in motion.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
Is he... okay?
JORDAN
It was a lot of potato...
ZEFFIE
No, I meant...
Jordan looks at Zeffie. Odd question.
JORDAN
Squid?
ZEFFIE
Yes.
JORDAN
He's suspended. The board has had
enough. They want him humanely
destroyed. That’s why I called you.
ZEFFIE
Sorry. I’m confused...
JORDAN
Client is seeking substantial
damages and is ready to sue.
(MORE)
JORDAN (CONT’D)
I need someone to keep an eye on
things while we sort this mess out.
ZEFFIE
Working with him?
JORDAN
Yes. And no. I need you to be my
eyes and ears. I need to know if
anything goes sideways. Making sure
nothing else explodes.
They both look at the frozen image of Squid on the monitor -
Jordan scrolls the image back and forward. He points to the
screen.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
Last night he jumped into the Creek.
Who does that?
Zeffie stares at the screen. Jordan continues.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
We built all this together. From
absolutely nothing. Everyone else just
showed up when it was already
successful. Fifteen very painful
years. And despite the madness,
despite the chaos... when the shit
hits the fan - which it now clearly
has - he is still my friend.
Jordan clicks off the screen and gets back to business.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
So. We have a traumatic few weeks
coming up, and I cannot let
anything else implode because of
some idiotic moment with a root
vegetable. I need a safe pair of
hands to help me navigate this mess
with no more collateral damage.
Congratulations. You are now...
those hands.
Zeffie looks terrified.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
Two weeks max. Everything stays
nice and calm...
Jordan seems to drift off with his thoughts.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
Think...non-litigious Giant Pandas,
all doing Tai Chi...
Jordan mimes a couple of very wrong Tai Chi ‘moves’ and closes
his eyes. He’s gone. Zeffie stares at him. Concerned.
ZEFFIE
What if he does his exploding thing again?
Jordan snaps back in.
JORDAN
Then I guess we all go down
together, in a screaming ball of
flame.
Zeffie can’t tell if he is joking or not. Jordan grabs the
makeshift ‘help’ sign, holds it up and points to the
caricature with the wild flailing arms.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
HR saw desperation. But I see
creativity and a hell of a lot of
determination. And I love that.
So... ready to jump into the deep
end Ms. Jones?
Zeffie's mind races. She stares at the framed photo. Long
beat. Jordan waits. She looks from the photo back to Jordan,
then back to the photo.
ZEFFIE
Ready.
JORDAN
Superb.
Jordan is clearly relieved and relaxes back in his chair.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
You’ve had a long day, so you and I
will catch up tomorrow. We have a
lot to talk about. But before you
head off, I think you should go
introduce yourself.
ZEFFIE
Huh?
JORDAN
I’ll take you down to HR and then
you can go meet the man behind the
potato. He’ll be sulking at Mazma.
ZEFFIE
Now? Mazma?
JORDAN
Reception will point you in the
right direction.
Zeffie looks extremely uncomfortable and bites a big clump of
hair.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
You okay?
ZEFFIE
Yeah. Just... first day nerves.
Jordan clicks on his desk phone and calls through to his PA.
JORDAN
Can we rustle up a nice new
Toblerone for Miss Jones please?
He looks at the increasingly perturbed Zeffie, and leans back
into the desk phone.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
Make it a big one.
They head to the door.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy","Thriller"]
Ratings
Scene
14 -
Chasing Shadows in the Coffee Shop
INT. MAZMA COFFEE SHOP - DAY
The coffee shop gently hums with the clatter of espresso
machines and mumbled conversations. Emirati professionals,
expats on laptops, wellness types drinking fresh juices.
Zeffie enters. New sounds and smells - all wrapped in the
pulsing energy of Dubai.
She scans the café. One person stands out. SQUID (58), the
life-battered expat, sits alone at a corner table with a CHESS
BOARD set up mid-game.
Zeffie DUCKS behind a decorative STUFFED CAMEL. Freezes. She
realises how absurd this is, composes herself, and delicately
weaves her way through the tables.
Squid is head down, absorbed in his game.
ZEFFIE
Umm... Excuse me... Squid?
He doesn't look up.
SQUID
Fuck off.
ZEFFIE
I'm Zeffie. Hi.
He looks at her. A small flicker of embarrassment.
SQUID
(less hostile, but still brusque)
I am extremely busy.
ZEFFIE
Jordan asked me to come say hello.
Squid refocuses on his board.
SQUID
Goodbye.
Zeffie spies a chair and drags it across the floor. It makes
an appalling noise.
ZEFFIE
I’m going to be lending a hand
while things get sorted.
She sits down opposite Squid and stares at him - really
stares.
SQUID
I did not invite you to sit.
Zeffie takes in every detail.
SQUID (CONT’D)
You and that tragic little
backpack, need to head back to the
airport.
ZEFFIE
Sorry. No can do.
A waiter approaches.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
I get the hostility. You've
obviously been through a lot -
what with shooting that guy in the
face.
The Waiter pauses mid-approach, but remains unflustered.
WAITER
Are we ready to order?
Squid goes first.
SQUID
Another iced tea with no ice. Just
the tea. Nothing for her... she’s
just leaving.
Zeffie jumps in.
ZEFFIE
Actually, I will have a lemony tea
thing, please. Thank you.
The waiter heads off. Awkward silence. Squid lowers his voice.
SQUID
Please tell Jordan to shove this
badly timed gesture, right up his
muscular backside.
ZEFFIE
It’s my first day. I can’t do that.
Zeffie holds her ground and leans in closer to Squid.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
Why on earth did you take a potato
gun into a presentation?
The customers at the next table glance around nervously.
Squid digs into his bag, unfurls a piece of paper and reads a
pre-written statement. Loudly.
SQUID
'I have had time to reflect on my
actions. Upon careful
consideration, I now understand
that.. (glances at nearby
customers)... ’accidentally’
blasting a big chunk of potato
directly into my client's face, may
not have been the most respectful
or appropriate way to present the
brilliance of my work. In the
future, when I choose to share my
ideas, I will make more effort to
avoid inflicting trauma on those
around me. Be that emotional,
physical or psychological.
Squid folds the up paper and puts it back in his bag.
SQUID (CONT’D)
Or, as in his case, a combination
of all three.
He leans back into his chair and stares at Zeffie.
SQUID (CONT’D)
We done here?
Zeffie doesn't move.
ZEFFIE
It did look brutal.
SQUID
You’ve seen it?
ZEFFIE
Jordan played me the slow mo
version.
Squid rolls a PAWN across his knuckles, flipping it from
finger to finger in one continuous motion.
SQUID
So... Zoe is it?
ZEFFIE
Zeffie.
SQUID
Zeffie. What the hell are you doing
here?
ZEFFIE
Jordan asked me to pop down...
SQUID
No. Here in Dubai. Right now.
ZEFFIE
I’m here to help.
SQUID
No one flies thousands of miles to
‘help’.
ZEFFIE
Change.
SQUID
From?
ZEFFIE
London. England. The usual.
SQUID
The usual what?
ZEFFIE
Life. Things. It's not that deep.
SQUID
I have friends in HR - they showed
me your file. Feels like you
concocted quite the cocktail of
lies to get here?
Zeffie's stomach tightens. How does he know? She remains
stoic.
ZEFFIE
Maybe I gently bent the truth a
couple of times. I wanted the job
and the chance to work with you.
Worked, didn’t it?
SQUID
Are you here to get me fired?
ZEFFIE
No.
SQUID
Is this going to get you fired?
ZEFFIE
Possibly.
Squid studies her.
SQUID
You flew all this way for a job
that might last a week?
ZEFFIE
(truthful)
I needed to be here.
SQUID
Why?
Zeffie can't answer. The waiter and arrives with the drinks.
Squid watches as Zeffie fishes a rogue ice cube out of the
glass with her tongue. It PLOPS out, SKIDS across the table
and onto the floor.
She looks up.
ZEFFIE
Oops.
They sip their teas in silence. He’s curious now.
SQUID
What kind of a weird-ass name is
Zeffie?
ZEFFIE
I like it.
SQUID
What’s it short for?
ZEFFIE
Zeffie.
She turns it back on him.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
You’re named after a mollusc. Hippy
parents? Drunk caregivers?
SQUID
Nobody knows, and trust me, nobody
cares.
ZEFFIE
Are you married?
SQUID
(slight pause)
Not any more.
Zeffie tries to break the tension.
ZEFFIE
Did you kill her?
Squid looks up. Slight smile.
SQUID
Who the hell are you again?
ZEFFIE
I’m just curious.
SQUID
She left me.
ZEFFIE
Why?
Zeffie’s question hits hard. Squid stares at the chess board.
SQUID
I was a horrific husband.
ZEFFIE
Horrific?
SQUID
Children.
Her breath catches. She covers by drinking the iced tea.
SQUID (CONT’D)
She wanted. I didn’t. She left. I
stayed. Sad story. Boo hoo. Next.
ZEFFIE
Really?
SQUID
Absolutely.
They both take a moment to reset.
SQUID (CONT’D)
What do your parents think of all
this?
ZEFFIE
They are extremely supportive.
SQUID
I seriously doubt that. Parents
suck.
Squid sips his iced tea. Zeffie keeps going.
ZEFFIE
My grandmother has a cardigan for
when things go tits up.
SQUID
(almost smiles)
Smart lady.
Zeffie softens her approach.
ZEFFIE
I’ve seen your work. All the
Guinness stuff. The Gorilla thing.
You are quite the genius.
SQUID
Were. That particular genius left
the building, a very long time ago.
Squid pushes away his drink and signals for the bill.
SQUID (CONT’D)
I think we're done here. Please
tell Jordan I'm fine. Or don't. I
really do not give a shit.
He stands. Zeffie nervously bites a clump of hair. He
notices. Zeffie spits out the hair.
SQUID (CONT’D)
Have I made you nervous?
ZEFFIE
A little.
SQUID
Ever tasted real fear?
ZEFFIE
Oblivion. Alton Towers. 2017.
He stares at her. She meets his eyes.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
And right now.
He’s ready to push further, but thinks better of it.
SQUID
I don't have time for this. Or for
you.
He grabs his jacket and heads out - leaving Zeffie to process
what has just happened.
On the table beside the chess board, she notices that Squid has
left his phone.
She looks at the phone. Towards the door. Back at the phone. She
checks the door again - he’s clearly not coming back. Zeffie
grabs the phone and heads towards the exit.
The waiter glides over with the bill, blocking her path.
WAITER
Madame...
ZEFFIE
Shit. Sorry.
Zeffie dissects the bill.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
Six iced teas? A whole cheesecake?
And what the hell is a charcoal
smoothie??
Zeffie doesn’t have time for this. She fumbles through her
wallet - British pounds, Euros, a crumpled Tesco’s voucher.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
Do you take... any of this?
WAITER
(patiently)
Card will be fine, madame.
She jams her card into the reader. It BEEPS angrily. Declined.
She tries again. BEEP. Declined.
ZEFFIE
No no no no...
WAITER
Perhaps another card?
She digs through her wallet, finds another card and shoves it
in. The reader thinks. And thinks some more. DING. Approved.
ZEFFIE
Thank you. Sorry again. Bye!
She dodges the stuffed camel and bolts for the door.
EXT. MAZMA COFFEE SHOP - DAY
Zeffie bursts out into the afternoon heat. Squid is nowhere to
be seen.
ZEFFIE
Zeffie...
She frantically scans the crowds. In the distance, Squid is
heading toward the METRO, disappearing amongst the crowds.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
(quietly, to herself)
There you are.
She grabs the shoulder straps of her backpack and pulls them
tight. Takes a deep breath. And runs.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
15 -
Frantic Search in the Metro
INT. METRO STATION - CONTINUOUS
Squid taps through the turnstile and disappears down the
escalator.
Zeffie reaches the ticket machine. Heart pounding. Humidity has
destroyed her hair. She taps the screen. Wrong option. Back.
Tries again. Finally - success.
She grabs her ticket and rushes through the turnstile and
hurtles down the escalator.
INT. METRO PLATFORM - CONTINUOUS
The platform is PACKED. A wall of bodies in every direction.
Zeffie tries to peer over the crowd. She can't. Not even close.
She starts jumping on the spot - a blonde Meerkat popping up
above the masses.
JUMP. Nothing. JUMP. Nothing. COMMUTERS stare at her.
ZEFFIE
Sorry. Can you help me? I'm looking
for someone.
THREE COMMUTERS start jumping with her. They seem happy to
help but have no idea what or who they're looking for.
Zeffie explains.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
British. Tall. Big beard. Looks
disappointed. (beat) With
everything. Angry hair.
Random heads pop up above the crowd, scanning. JUMP. JUMP. JUMP.
The METRO glides in. The crowd surges forward as one. Zeffie is
swept into the carriage. The doors close.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
16 -
A Discreet Escape
INT. METRO TRAIN - GOLD CLASS CARRIAGE - CONTINUOUS
Zeffie catches her breath and looks around. Cushioned seats and
an eerily hushed atmosphere. Subtle lighting. An OLDER EXPAT
COUPLE reading. PROFESSIONAL WOMAN on laptop. A TOURIST FAMILY,
with nasty matching luggage.
Zeffie has inadvertently entered a very wrong world. This is
Gold Class.
Everyone looks up and takes her in. The backpack. The hair. The
sweat.
She stares at the occupants. Beat. She glances towards the
connecting doors ahead. Squid must be somewhere beyond.
She slowly unclips her backpack and slides it off her shoulders.
Holds it tight to her side. She creeps forward, picking her way
through the disapproving silence.
An oblivious BUSINESSMAN stands in the aisle, phone pressed to
his ear. She slithers past without a word. He clocks her. Too
late. She's already past him.
Zeffie reaches the connecting door. She doesn't look back and
pushes through.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
17 -
Confrontation on the Metro
INT. METRO TRAIN - STANDARD CARRIAGE - CONTINUOUS
Packed. Loud, and much more her natural habitat. Through the
crowd, she spots SQUID. He's holding a handrail and is staring
out the window. He has no idea she's there.
Zeffie bundles through the crowds and stands behind Squid.
She blows some stray hair off her face, takes a really deep
breath and taps him on the shoulder.
He spins round.
ZEFFIE
You forgot your phone.
Squid frowns and takes his phone. He says nothing.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
You’re welcome.
He turns to move away.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
HR gave me these. In case... you
know... work stuff.
She holds out a business card. Squid takes the card and reads.
SQUID
Zeffie Jones. You won’t last a
week.
He pockets it without another word and moves away through the
carriage. Zeffie watches him go.
She's hot, confused and very close to a major cardiac event. She
hesitates. Fuck it. She shouts after him.
ZEFFIE
Manchester!
He stops and turns slowly.
SQUID
What?
ZEFFIE
Were you ever in Manchester?
SQUID
(annoyed)
Why?
ZEFFIE
It’s important.
SQUID
Maybe.
STATION ANNOUNCEMENT. The train starts to slow.
He moves towards the doors. She blocks him.
ZEFFIE
When?
SQUID
(irritated)
When? I was face down on the
floor of the Hacienda for most of
my time in Manchester.
Beat.
ZEFFIE
Have a stab at it.
SQUID
Nineties?
ZEFFIE
So you could have been there in '95?
SQUID
No idea. That was thirty years ago.
I don’t remember waking up this
morning.
He tries to step past her. The train stops and the doors
open. The crowd pushes forward. Squid moves towards the door.
SQUID (CONT’D)
This is my stop.
Zeffie doesn't move.
DEPARTURE ANNOUNCEMENT. The doors are ready to close.
They are face to face.
ZEFFIE
Your name is Terrance.
Everything stops. He freezes.
SQUID
(very quiet)
What did you say?
ZEFFIE
I know your real name is Terrance.
SQUID
Nobody knows that. Nobody calls me
that.
Passengers nearby are staring now.
SQUID (CONT’D)
How do you know this?
She can't answer. The doors are closing.
SQUID (CONT’D)
(quietly, scared)
Who the hell are you?
He lunges for the gap and dives through the closing doors - just
in time.
SQUID (CONT’D)
(through the door, backing
away)
Stay away from me.
The train pulls away. Squid stands on the platform and
watches her go. He doesn't move. Doesn't wave. Doesn't speak.
He just watches until the train disappears.
INT. METRO TRAIN - CONTINUOUS
Zeffie stands frozen in the crowded carriage.
Around her, life continues. Phones. Conversations. The mundane
business of getting from one place to another.
She stares at the metro map on the wall. The city sprawls in
every direction. She has absolutely no idea where she is.
At the next stop, she gets off.
EXT. METRO STATION - CONTINUOUS
Wherever this is, it doesn't matter. Zeffie looks around. She
pulls out her phone and dials.
ZEFFIE
Hi Omar. It's Zeffie. (beat) I
think I maybe lost.
OMAR (V.O.)
(unsurprised)
Of course you are Ms. Zeffie. Stay
where you are. I will come and get
you.
LATER
Genres:
["Drama","Mystery","Thriller"]
Ratings
Scene
18 -
Nostalgia and Regret
INT. SQUID'S APARTMENT - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
A battered Fender Stratocaster leans against the wall. In the
corner, a long-forgotten pinball machine, fights for space with
a bright orange mohair sofa.
The bookshelves overflow with art books, annuals, vinyl stacked
horizontally. On the floor there are THREE chess boards. He's
playing multiple versions of himself - and losing at all of
them.
A framed award (Cannes 2015) leans against the wall, never hung,
gathering dust. Squid clicks on some music - Orinoco Flow by
ENYA.
He moves to the kitchen, opens the fridge and stares. Nothing
appeals.
Squid grabs a bag of Monster Munch from a cupboard, rips it
open, pops a few in his mouth and empties the remains of the
packet onto the floor.
SQUID
(shouts with mouth full)
Sweep-Io!!!
He waits.
A robot vacuum whirrs out from under the sofa and rolls toward
the mess. Squid watches as Sweep-Io hoovers up the corn-based
treats.
He cannot settle. He drops onto the sofa, grabs a nearby chess
board. Moves a piece. Instantly regrets it. Moves it back.
In the corner, a saggy old cardboard box. He slides off the sofa
onto the floor and crawls over to the box and opens it up.
Inside: Old portfolios. Campaign print-outs. Faded industry
magazines. Award submissions from another life.
Squid digs through and pulls out a dog-eared CREATIVE REVIEW
MAGAZINE. 1994. He flips through the faded pages, and stops on a
spread: "RISING STARS OF MANCHESTER'S AD SCENE."
A photo of young Squid with other 20-somethings. Massive hair,
cigarettes, attitude and loads of swagger.
Caption beneath: 'Terrance Squires, 24, Copywriter, Riot,
Manchester.' He was younger. Hungrier. And a very different
person.
SQUID (CONT’D)
(to the photo)
What a twat.
Squid climbs back onto the sofa with the magazine. His knees
CRACK audibly. He grimaces.
He removes his wallet and takes out Zeffie's business card.
Squid stares at the card and then to the magazine photo beside
him. Back at the card. He pulls out his phone - and types.
Genres:
["Drama","Character Study"]
Ratings
Scene
19 -
Moments of Reflection
INT. ZEFFIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
The day's events have finally caught up with Zeffie. She flops
onto the sofa and just lies there. She pulls out her phone,
finds a track by Café De Anatolia and hits PLAY.
She wanders around the apartment, gently adjusting and
rearranging her new world. She starts to unpack, tossing
clothes clear across the room onto the waiting furniture.
Arms out, she spins slowly, letting herself be ridiculous and
free. She moves around the apartment, not quite dancing,
just... letting go the tension of the day.
She spins past the tedious urns. Past the excessive pillows.
Lost in the moment. She grabs her open bag. The photo of the
young man falls out and lands on the floor. She stops and
picks it up.
Is this the man she met today?
She's moving again. Eyes closed. Letting go. Her phone BUZZES.
She doesn't hear it. The song continues.
The phone BUZZES again. Zeffie stops and goes to the phone.
The music is still playing. There is a text message from an
unknown number.
She opens the message: 'Manchester 94/95. Yes. Why?'
She reads it again. And again. And stops the music.
EXT. ZEFFIE'S BALCONY - CONTINUOUS
Zeffie slides down the wall and sits - phone in hand and a
clump of hair in her mouth. Silence. Just the distant rumble
of Dubai streets below.
She types: ‘Thank you.’ Instantly deletes it. Types: ‘Can we
talk?’ Deletes it. Types: ‘I don't know...’ Deletes it.
Beat. She saves the unknown number, simply as: 'Terrance'.
The phone buzzes. She ignores it. Buzzes again. She flips it
over, face-down on the floor.
Zeffie pulls her knees up, wraps her arms around them and
stares out at the shimmering Dubai skyline.
END OF EPISODE