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Scene Map 43
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
EXT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL DAY
2 2
INT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / HALLWAY CONTINUOUS
3 10
INT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / MAIN OFFICE DAY
4 13
INT JASON’S CLASSROOM DAY
5 15
INT SCHOOL LIBRARY DAY
6 16
INT MAIN OFFICE DAY
7 18
EXT JASON’S CLASSROOM DAY
8 19
INT TEACHER’S LOUNGE LATER
9 21
INT SCHOOL HALLWAY DAY
10 22
EXT SCHOOL COURTYARD DAY
11 25
INT PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE DAY
12 26
INT CAFETERIA - SAME
13 27
INT SCHOOL STORAGE CLOSET DAY
14 28
INT SCHOOL HALLWAY DAY
15 29
INT CLASSROOM DAY
16 32
INT TEACHERS LOUNGE DAY
17 34
INT CLASSROOM DAY
18 35
INT CAFETERIA DAY
19 37
INT HALLWAY LATER
20 42
INT SCHOOL HALLWAY DAY
21 44
INT SCHOOL GYM NIGHT
22 46
INT PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE DAY
23 50
INT COFFEE SHOP NIGHT
24 51
INT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / AUDITORIUM DAY
25 53
INT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / ART CLASS DAY
26 55
INT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / MATH CLASS DAY
27 57
INT PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE DAY
28 58
INT SCHOOL HALLWAY LATER
29 60
INT HISTORY CLASSROOM DAY
30 63
INT SCIENCE CLASS DAY
31 64
INT SCHOOL CAFETERIA DAY
32 66
INT PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE DAY
33 71
INT PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - SAME
34 73
INT TEACHER'S LOUNGE LATER
35 74
INT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / CAFETERIA DAY
36 78
INT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL - HALLWAY
37 79
INT SCHOOL BOARD OFFICE - SAME
38 80
INT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / HALLWAY DAY
39 81
EXT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS PARKING LOT DAY
40 83
INT SCHOOL BOARD MEETING ROOM NIGHT
41 87
INT GYMNASIUM DAY
42 87
INT GYMNASIUM / CHRISTMAS FORMAL NIGHT
43 91
INT HALLWAY NIGHT
Scene Map
43
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
EXT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL DAY
EXT. SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL - DAY
THE PAPER CRANE Written by Alexis A. Croyle [email protected] 412-601-2469
2 2
INT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / HALLWAY CONTINUOUS
INT. SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
INT. SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS The hallway is alive. Lockers SLAM. KIDS in costume dart past--pirates, witches, a kid dressed as a traffic cone. NATHAN (11), shy but wiry, wears a homemade medieval knight
3 10
INT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / MAIN OFFICE DAY
INT. SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / MAIN OFFICE - DAY
INT. SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / MAIN OFFICE - DAY SUPER: ONE WEEK LATER JULIE BOWMAN (late 40s), nice-looking, but on the prim and proper side, hair pulled up in a twist, stands stiff like a soldier behind the counter beside the secretary’s desk.
4 13
INT JASON’S CLASSROOM DAY
INT. JASON’S CLASSROOM - DAY
INT. JASON’S CLASSROOM - DAY A cozy assemblage of mismatched desks. Student art on the walls. A whiteboard that reads: “Today’s Mission: Write Something that Matters”. Jason sits on the edge of his desk, reads aloud from a
5 15
INT SCHOOL LIBRARY DAY
INT. SCHOOL LIBRARY - DAY
INT. SCHOOL LIBRARY - DAY The library is nearly empty. Golden light filters through the windows. At a corner table, Marcus sits alone. Head down. Works on a writing assignment.
6 16
INT MAIN OFFICE DAY
INT. MAIN OFFICE - DAY
INT. MAIN OFFICE - DAY Julie stands at the counter, reviews a stack of disciplinary forms. She signs off on one. INSERT FORM: HALLWAY NOISE VIOLATION Her posture--perfect. Her penmanship--flawless.
7 18
EXT JASON’S CLASSROOM DAY
EXT. JASON’S CLASSROOM - DAY
EXT. JASON’S CLASSROOM - DAY Julie stands just outside the door. Clipboard in hand. She watches through the small window. INT. JASON’S CLASSROOM - CONTINUOUS Jason paces slowly between desks, reads from a student’s
8 19
INT TEACHER’S LOUNGE LATER
INT. TEACHER’S LOUNGE - LATER
INT. TEACHER’S LOUNGE - LATER The lounge is quiet. A coffee pot gurgles. Jason pours a cup. Julie enters, still holding her clipboard. JASON
9 21
INT SCHOOL HALLWAY DAY
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY Julie walks alone. Clipboard tucked under her arm. She stops at the large school bulletin board--a collage of school event flyers, announcements, and student art. She removes a paper from her clipboard. Scans for an
10 22
EXT SCHOOL COURTYARD DAY
EXT. SCHOOL COURTYARD - DAY
EXT. SCHOOL COURTYARD - DAY Kids sit at picnic tables--eat lunch, trade snacks, scroll their phones. Above them, a sleek drone buzzes like a mosquito.
11 25
INT PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE DAY
INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - DAY
INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - DAY Jason paces the floor. JASON Let me get this straight. You went in to get them to reinstate our
12 26
INT CAFETERIA - SAME
INT. CAFETERIA - SAME
INT. CAFETERIA - SAME Rico teeters on top of a ladder, stringing the last set of Christmas lights from the beams. He sings “Feliz Navidad”. He climbs down. Turns the light switch on--the place is
13 27
INT SCHOOL STORAGE CLOSET DAY
INT. SCHOOL STORAGE CLOSET - DAY
INT. SCHOOL STORAGE CLOSET - DAY Rico and Coach Eric stack boxes labeled ORNAMENTS, LIGHTS, SANTAS. Rico reaches for the last box. Stops. Taped to the side is a paper crane.
14 28
INT SCHOOL HALLWAY DAY
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY Lucy stands at her locker. Completes the final fold of a paper crane. Marcus walks by, backpack slung low. He hesitates. Stops. MARCUS
15 29
INT CLASSROOM DAY
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY SUPER: DAY ONE OF DETENTION The room is quiet. The clock ticks. Marcus slouches in his seat, arms crossed. Thomas sits across the room, taps his pen against the desk.
16 32
INT TEACHERS LOUNGE DAY
INT. TEACHERS LOUNGE - DAY
INT. TEACHERS LOUNGE - DAY Jason and Coach Eric sit at a small table, sip coffee, munch on leftover Halloween candy. The room hums with fluorescent fatigue. Rico bursts in--tool belt slung low, earbuds in, humming
17 34
INT CLASSROOM DAY
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY SUPER: DAY TWO OF DETENTION The desks are rearranged. Marcus and Thomas sit side by side at a long table. A shoebox between them half-filled with folded paper cranes. Sheets of
18 35
INT CAFETERIA DAY
INT. CAFETERIA - DAY
INT. CAFETERIA - DAY A busy lunch period. Students, FACULTY, and conversations fill the room. Kevin moves through the line. Ming serves him french fries. Kevin waits, expecting more.
19 37
INT HALLWAY LATER
INT. HALLWAY - LATER
INT. HALLWAY - LATER Bell RINGS The halls fill. Students and faculty leave. Jason walks through the hall traffic, headed in the opposite direction.
20 42
INT SCHOOL HALLWAY DAY
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY Julie enters through the front doors, coffee in hand. She’s dressed sharply, but her eyes are tired. Kevin stands at the security check-in. JULIE
21 44
INT SCHOOL GYM NIGHT
INT. SCHOOL GYM - NIGHT
INT. SCHOOL GYM - NIGHT A J.V. basketball practice. Julie sits on the bleachers, clipboard in her lap. She looks sad.
22 46
INT PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE DAY
INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - DAY
INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - DAY Julie sits alone. Her desk is cluttered with reports, test score graphs, district emails. She picks one up and reads. INSERT PRINTED COPY OF DISTRICT EMAIL: Board approved list of
23 50
INT COFFEE SHOP NIGHT
INT. COFFEE SHOP - NIGHT
INT. COFFEE SHOP - NIGHT A cozy corner booth. Dim lightning. Steam rises from mugs. Jason and Julie sit across from each other. The shoebox of cranes rests between them. Julie stirs her coffee.
24 51
INT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / AUDITORIUM DAY
INT. SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / AUDITORIUM - DAY
INT. SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / AUDITORIUM - DAY Faculty and students file in. A banner hangs above the stage: “A Thousand Cranes for the Holidays.” A few cranes dangle from the curtain rod above the stage like
25 53
INT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / ART CLASS DAY
INT. SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / ART CLASS - DAY
INT. SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / ART CLASS - DAY Morning light spills across long tables. Cranes hand from windows, creating shadows. A whiteboard reads: “Folding Hope - Step One: The Square Base.”
26 55
INT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / MATH CLASS DAY
INT. SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / MATH CLASS - DAY
INT. SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / MATH CLASS - DAY A whiteboard filled with equations. A poster reads: “CRANE COUNT - DATA SET.” Students sit in pairs, surrounded by folded cranes. Marcus and Thomas share a desk.
27 57
INT PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE DAY
INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - DAY
INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - DAY The printed email sits on Julie’s desk. Jason reads it, brow furrowed. Julie leans against the window, arms crossed. JULIE
28 58
INT SCHOOL HALLWAY LATER
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - LATER
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - LATER Between classes. Students move through the halls. Cranes hang from lockers and bulletin boards like quiet confessions. Lucy and Maya walk together, laugh softly. They carry a small stack of folded cranes.
29 60
INT HISTORY CLASSROOM DAY
INT. HISTORY CLASSROOM - DAY
INT. HISTORY CLASSROOM - DAY The lights are dimmed. A projector shows black-and-white photos of Hiroshima--before and after the bombs. A neighborhood reduced to rubble. The devastation.
30 63
INT SCIENCE CLASS DAY
INT. SCIENCE CLASS - DAY
INT. SCIENCE CLASS - DAY MR. CHEN (40s), teaches aerodynamics through origami. MR. CHEN Let’s test glide paths. Which folds fly farther? Which designs resist
31 64
INT SCHOOL CAFETERIA DAY
INT. SCHOOL CAFETERIA - DAY
INT. SCHOOL CAFETERIA - DAY Kids everywhere. TABLES Bri sits alone, towards the end of a long table. Her tray untouched. Her Chromebook closed.
32 66
INT PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE DAY
INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - DAY
INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - DAY Julie’s on the phone. She freezes. JULIE (into phone) Wait. What? They’re here? Now?
33 71
INT PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - SAME
INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - SAME
INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - SAME Julie sits at her desk. Mr. Phillips and Mrs. Carnes across from her. Clipboard between them like a barrier. MR. PHILLIPS
34 73
INT TEACHER'S LOUNGE LATER
INT. TEACHER'S LOUNGE - LATER
INT. TEACHER'S LOUNGE - LATER Julie enters, clipboard clutched. Jason stands by the coffee machine. JASON You said you’d handle the board.
35 74
INT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / CAFETERIA DAY
INT. SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / CAFETERIA - DAY
INT. SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / CAFETERIA - DAY An after school event. Crane-making stations line the tables. Markers, string, paper. Lucy instructs the newcomers. A banner reads: “Fold a Wish. Save a Voice.”
36 78
INT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL - HALLWAY
INT. SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL - HALLWAY
INT. SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL - HALLWAY Students walk past strands of cranes. REPORTER (V.O.) (from the Gazette article) “In the cafeteria of Sherwood
37 79
INT SCHOOL BOARD OFFICE - SAME
INT. SCHOOL BOARD OFFICE - SAME
INT. SCHOOL BOARD OFFICE - SAME A sleek sterile conference room. Mr. Phillips sits at the head of the table, flipping through a printed copy of the Sherwood Heights Gazette. Mrs. Carnes sips black coffee, eyes narrowed.
38 80
INT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / HALLWAY DAY
INT. SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / HALLWAY - DAY
INT. SHERWOOD HEIGHTS MIDDLE SCHOOL / HALLWAY - DAY The final bell RINGS. A beat of silence--then chaos. Students flood the hallway. Laughter. Backpacks. Shouts of... KID’S VOICES
39 81
EXT SHERWOOD HEIGHTS PARKING LOT DAY
EXT. SHERWOOD HEIGHTS PARKING LOT - DAY
EXT. SHERWOOD HEIGHTS PARKING LOT - DAY The sun dips low. Julie and Jason walk toward their cars. The lot is nearly empty. The school behind them glows with strands of cranes in the
40 83
INT SCHOOL BOARD MEETING ROOM NIGHT
INT. SCHOOL BOARD MEETING ROOM - NIGHT
INT. SCHOOL BOARD MEETING ROOM - NIGHT Rows of folding chairs. BOARD MEMBERS sit at a long table at the front--Mr. Phillips, Mrs. Carnes and THREE OTHERS. The room is packed. Parents. Students. Staff.
41 87
INT GYMNASIUM DAY
INT. GYMNASIUM - DAY
--INT. BAND ROOM - DAY The BAND DIRECTOR (20s), with the help of Rico, lead the BAND through a rock version of “Jingle Bell Rock.” Nathan plays a kazoo solo--surprisingly good. Coach Eric stands in the open doorway--air guitars.
42 87
INT GYMNASIUM / CHRISTMAS FORMAL NIGHT
INT. GYMNASIUM / CHRISTMAS FORMAL - NIGHT
INT. GYMNASIUM / CHRISTMAS FORMAL - NIGHT The gym is transformed. Sparkly cranes hang like stars. White lights shimmer across the dance floor. A glittery banner reads: “One Thousand Cranes. One Thousand Voices.”
43 91
INT HALLWAY NIGHT
INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT
INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT Empty now. A single crane hangs from a locker. JASON (V.O) But if you listen closely--beneath the echoes and the quiet--you’ll

The Paper Crane

A shy girl’s thousand-paper-crane wish sparks a schoolwide movement that transforms detention into therapy, math into advocacy, and a threatened school into a community that refuses to be erased.

See other logline suggestions

Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

The screenplay's unique selling proposition lies in its elegant integration of Japanese origami tradition (senbazuru) as both plot device and thematic metaphor, creating a fresh approach to the familiar 'troubled school' narrative while exploring themes of quiet resilience, community healing, and the power of unspoken wishes.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

GPT5
 Recommend
Gemini
 Recommend
Grok
 Recommend
Claude
 Recommend
DeepSeek
 Recommend
Average Score: 8.3
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
Lean into dramatic friction: the script’s heart and central metaphor (the cranes) are strong, but the adults and institutional threat feel underwritten, which softens the story’s stakes. Give the board and its defenders concrete, personal motivations and an earlier visible timeline/metric for the merger; insert a mid‑act setback that forces creative problem solving; and more tightly weave Jason’s and Julie’s backstories into their decisions so their arcs feel earned rather than descriptive. Also trim or fold smaller diversions that don’t serve the main arc (vape subplot, one-off gags) and reduce expository V.O. in favor of scenes that show measurable classroom outcomes — this will sharpen pacing and emotional payoff.
For Executives:
This is a commercially viable, family-friendly drama with a strong visual hook (Senbazuru) and clear audience appeal — schools, families, and community festivals will connect to it. The main risk is that the antagonist is too abstract and the middle act climbs to victory a bit too neatly; that can make marketing the film as a hard-earned underdog story harder. Fixing the stakes (concrete timeline, measurable metrics, a sympathetic-but-pressured board member) and tightening the middle will increase perceived legitimacy to distributors and grant/education partners and reduce the ‘too sentimental’ critique, improving festival and family-audience prospects with a modest budget.
Story Facts
Genres:
Drama 60% Comedy 25% Romance 15% Fantasy 10%

Setting: Contemporary, Sherwood Heights Middle School and surrounding areas

Themes: The Power of Individual Voices and Wishes, Community and Connection, Hidden Heroism and Resilience, Bureaucracy vs. Empathy and Human Connection, Finding One's Voice and Self-Expression, The Nature of Wishes and Hope, Innocence and Childhood

Conflict & Stakes: The main conflict revolves around Julie's struggle to implement a creative student project against bureaucratic resistance, with the stakes being the school's future and the emotional well-being of the students.

Mood: Heartwarming and uplifting

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The use of origami cranes as a symbol of wishes and emotional expression throughout the story.
  • Character Development: The growth of characters like Julie and Jason as they navigate their fears and responsibilities.
  • Emotional Climax: The culmination of Lucy's wish for her mother to return, providing a poignant resolution.
  • Community Engagement: The school-wide project that brings students, staff, and parents together, showcasing the power of collective action.

Comparable Scripts: Wonder, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, A Wrinkle in Time, The Breakfast Club, Inside Out, The Giver, The Fault in Our Stars, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, The Miseducation of Cameron Post

Data Says…
Feature in Alpha - Could have inaccuracies

Our stats model looked at how your scores work together and ranked the changes most likely to move your overall rating next draft. Ordered by the most reliable gains first.

1. Conflict (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Conflict (Script Level) score: 7.8
Typical rewrite gain: +0.7 in Conflict (Script Level)
Gets you ~4% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Confidence: High (based on ~687 similar revisions)
  • This is currently your highest-impact lever. Improving Conflict (Script Level) is most likely to move the overall rating next.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Conflict (Script Level) by about +0.7 in one rewrite.
  • Why it matters: At your level, improving this one area alone can cover a meaningful slice of the climb toward an "all Highly Recommends" script.
2. Concept
Big Impact Scene Level
Your current Concept score: 8.5
Typical rewrite gain: +0.25 in Concept
Gets you ~4% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Confidence: High (based on ~2,164 similar revisions)
  • This is another meaningful lever. After you work on the higher-impact areas, this can still create a noticeable lift.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Concept by about +0.25 in one rewrite.
  • Why it matters: After you address the top item, gains here are still one of the levers that move you toward that "all Highly Recommends" zone.
3. Dialogue
Moderate Impact Scene Level
Your current Dialogue score: 8.4
Typical rewrite gain: +0.2 in Dialogue
Gets you ~2% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Confidence: High (based on ~1,831 similar revisions)
  • This is another meaningful lever. After you work on the higher-impact areas, this can still create a noticeable lift.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Dialogue by about +0.2 in one rewrite.
  • Why it matters: After you address the top item, gains here are still one of the levers that move you toward that "all Highly Recommends" zone.

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 8.38
Key Suggestions:
Lean into deeper emotional complexity for secondary players (especially Bri and Mrs. Carnes) and remove repetitive beats around the crane discoveries. Give Bri a specific internal wound and a tangible arc (small scenes that reveal why she lashes out, moments that force a choice), and humanize Mrs. Carnes with a personal stake that explains her rigidity. At the same time consolidate repetitive crane-read scenes into fewer, more charged reveals, and add a clear time-pressured escalation (a looming board vote/deadline) so stakes feel urgent. These changes will sharpen theme, raise emotional stakes, and make the payoff feel earned without reworking the entire script.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
You have a warm, emotionally resonant story built around a strong central metaphor (the cranes) and compelling teacher/principal dynamics. The priority now is to tighten the emotional through-lines so the payoffs feel earned: deepen Bri’s arc so her turnaround is triggered by a concrete, believable moment; make more of the individual student wishes specific (small, cinematic details) so each crane feels distinct; and either integrate the ‘ferret wish’ into a clearer administrative history or remove it. Also add subtle foreshadowing for Lucy’s family situation so her final wish doesn’t arrive out of nowhere.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The character work is strong and thematically consistent—community, listening, and quiet hope—but the script needs clearer emotional throughlines and a few targeted scenes to deepen stakes. Anchor Jason’s motivations more visibly to his late wife (small, poignant scenes or rituals), give Lucy more agency during moments of conflict (show internal reaction and small acts of defiance), and tighten Julie’s panic/regression so it reads as believable hesitation rather than incompetence. Also consider adding one or two brief, revealing beats for underused supporting players (Rico, Kevin) so their warmth feels earned and not merely atmospheric.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
Tighten the emotional pacing and deepen adult character nuance. The screenplay’s highs (board showdown, Lucy’s wish) land well, but the middle act flattens into repetitive administrative tension. Introduce quieter, earned moments — small scenes of contentment, subtle pride, or private doubt — especially for Julie, Jason and secondary adults (Kevin, Rico, Coach Eric). Smooth transitions between peaks and valleys so the final payoff feels earned and character arcs (Julie’s thaw, Jason’s grief, Kevin’s shift) register emotionally rather than ideologically.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The screenplay’s emotional core is Lucy’s quiet-to-bold arc and the thematic clash between emotional expression and institutional rigidity. Tighten and dramatize that through stronger cause-and-effect: make Lucy’s inner shifts visible with concrete setbacks and decisions (one clear low point and one decisive action) and let the board/administration’s resistance produce real consequences that force characters to change tactics. Trim or consolidate peripheral beats that diffuse focus on Lucy’s transformation and the merger threat so the climax’s payoff feels earned rather than convenient.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
The script has a heartfelt, marketable core—the paper cranes as quiet wishes that catalyze a school-wide movement—but it needs tighter causal logic and clearer emotional payoff. Focus on strengthening Lucy’s arc (her wish and its believable fulfillment), sharpening Julie’s transformation so it feels earned, and making the link between the students’ project and measurable school outcomes (attendance, grades, community support) more concrete. Trim or simplify peripheral beats that diffuse momentum so the crane-movement builds steadily to the board showdown and emotional climax.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
Fix the emotional backbone: the climax (Lucy’s final wish being granted) currently lacks groundwork and feels unearned. Strengthen character arcs—especially Julie’s transformation—and tighten pacing by consolidating repetitive crane-folding beats. Seed key facts (Lucy’s family situation, Julie’s doubts) earlier with small, specific moments so payoffs land naturally. Trim redundant scenes and combine Jason/Julie conflict beats into sharper, higher-stakes confrontations so the script moves with clearer momentum and emotional resonance.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
You have a distinct, authentic voice—witty dialogue balanced with quiet, poignant imagery (the paper cranes are a powerful motif). Lean into that strength: prioritize scenes that reveal character through small, symbolic actions rather than exposition, tighten pacing by trimming episodic beats that merely repeat information, and sharpen the emotional throughline for Julie and Jason so their choices feel inevitable. Use Scene 33 (the subtle crane reveal) as a blueprint for other beats: show, don't tell, and let the cranes carry both theme and plot momentum toward the board vote and Lucy’s payoff.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
You have a clear voice, likable characters, and many emotionally resonant scenes. The next draft should focus on connecting those strong moments into a single, earned emotional journey: map each main character’s arc across the whole script, tighten scene-to-scene transitions so momentum never flags, and push more subtext into dialogue (show more with silence, gestures, and small actions). Practical steps: outline Jason and Julie’s beats from inciting incident to resolution, rewrite one key scene to rely almost entirely on non-verbal subtext, and then run the script for pacing blindspots to ensure every scene advances character or stakes.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The school and the paper-crane motif are a rich, emotionally resonant world; lean into that specificity while tightening the dramatic engine. Right now the script’s heart — students reclaiming voice through folding cranes — is strong, but the stakes around the board/merger and Julie’s arc feel diffuse. Clarify what’s at risk, shorten or sharpen bureaucratic scenes, and make Julie’s transformation and Jason’s vulnerability earn their beats through fewer, higher-impact conflicts. Use the cranes as both a visual motif and a narrative device to escalate tension (data, public attention, personal wishes) so the board showdown and Lucy’s wish carry undeniable consequence.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
Your reflective, hopeful core is the screenplay’s greatest strength — it creates emotional resonance and consistently scores high in concept, dialogue, and emotional impact. To elevate the script, preserve that warmth but tighten the dramatic engine: convert some quieter, introspective moments into scenes with clearer stakes or explicit character decisions. Small additions — a single active choice, an unexpected obstacle, or a visible moment of change in a few low-stakes scenes — will keep momentum without sacrificing tone, and will sharpen perceived character arcs.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.