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Scene Map 60
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
EXT CITY SCAPE NIGHT
2 3
INT LUXURIOUS BUILDING, FOYER NIGHT
3 4
INT LARGE OFFICE NIGHT
4 7
EXT PERIPHERY MORNING
5 8
INT NEIL’S APARTMENT MORNING
6 9
INT CAFE AFTERNOON
7 15
EXT NEIL'S APARTMENT, BALCONY NIGHT
8 16
INT NEIL'S APARTMENT MORNING
9 18
EXT PERIPHERY NIGHT
10 19
EXT TALL BUILDING MORNING
11 21
EXT TALL BUILDING ROOFTOP DAY
12 22
INT LUXURIOUS BUILDING FOYER NIGHT
13 24
INT NEIL'S APARTMENT NIGHT
14 26
INT CAFE DAY
15 28
EXT PERIPHERY STREET DAY
16 29
INT CAFE NIGHT
17 31
INT BOUTIQUE NIGHT
18 35
INT NEIL'S APARTMENT DAY
19 37
INT LUXURIOUS BUILDING FOYER NIGHT
20 38
INT LARGE OFFICE NIGHT
21 41
EXT NEIL'S APARTMENT NIGHT
22 41
EXT BACK ALLEY OF THE APARTMENTS NIGHT
23 42
INT TOUSSEAU'S MANSION, ROSE GARDEN
24 45
EXT PERIPHERY OUTSIDE THE CAFE NIGHT
25 49
INT LABORATORY FLOOR PLATFORM DAY
26 50
INT HOMELESS SHELTER NIGHT
27 51
INT HOMELESS SHELTER DORM MORNING
28 52
EXT RACHAEL’S APARTMENT DAY
29 53
INT RACHAEL'S APARTMENT DAY
30 56
INT HOMELESS SHELTER DORM AFTERNOON
31 57
INT LARGE GREENHOUSE DAY
32 58
INT EVALUATION ROOM NIGHT
33 59
EXT PERIPHERY HOUSE AFTERNOON
34 60
INT PERIPHERY HOUSE AFTERNOON
35 64
INT LARGE OFFICE AFTERNOON
36 66
EXT PERIPHERY STREET NIGHT
37 72
EXT TOUSSEAU’S MANSION DAY
38 77
INT TOUSSEAU'S MANSION, ROSE GARDEN DAY
39 81
INT CAFE AFTERNOON
40 84
EXT PERIPHERY OUTSIDE THE CAFE AFTERNOON
41 84
EXT CITY’S EDGE NIGHT
42 87
INT CAFE DAY
43 89
EXT PERIPHERY - DAY AND NIGHT
44 90
INT LARGE OFFICE SAME TIME
45 91
EXT BACK ALLEY OF THE APARTMENTS CONTINUOUS
46 92
INT LUXURIOUS BUILDING, FOYER DAY
47 93
EXT PERIPHERY CONTINUOUS
48 94
INT LARGE OFFICE SAME TIME
49 95
EXT PERIPHERY DAY
50 96
INT LUXURIOUS BUILDING, EMPTY FLOOR DAY
51 97
EXT LUXURIOUS BUILDING, FACADE DAY
52 98
EXT LUXURIOUS BUILDING, FACADE DAY
53 100
EXT PERIPHERY DAY
54 102
INT LUXURIOUS BUILDING, EMPTY FLOOR DAY
55 104
INT EVALUATION ROOM DAY
56 105
INT LARGE OFFICE SAME TIME
57 107
INT EVALUATION ROOM CONTINUOUS
58 108
INT GUARD'S STATION AFTERNOON
59 111
EXT PERIPHERY - DAYS LATER
60 112
INT CAFE DAY
Scene Map
60
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
EXT CITY SCAPE NIGHT
EXT. CITY SCAPE - NIGHT
ABSTRACTION By Daniel Silvas Based on novel Dealer of Happiness
2 3
INT LUXURIOUS BUILDING, FOYER NIGHT
INT. LUXURIOUS BUILDING, FOYER - NIGHT
INT. LUXURIOUS BUILDING, FOYER - NIGHT The foyer is immaculate but empty with the exception of a beautiful secretary at the desk. Neil limps into the foyer rain and blood soiling the carpet. His prize abstraction tucked under his arm.
3 4
INT LARGE OFFICE NIGHT
INT. LARGE OFFICE - NIGHT
INT. LARGE OFFICE - NIGHT Opulence stripped of soul. The furniture looks expensive but uncomfortable. A blank figure of a man glides his direction. Do you understand what a rush means?
4 7
EXT PERIPHERY MORNING
EXT. PERIPHERY - MORNING
EXT. PERIPHERY - MORNING The periphery, impoverished and lined in small homes and cramped apartments, pops with color from porches and balconies. The Sun filters through the clouds and mist to cast light
5 8
INT NEIL’S APARTMENT MORNING
INT. NEIL’S APARTMENT - MORNING
INT. NEIL’S APARTMENT - MORNING The apartment is sparse with two bunks and a small screen on the wall for entertainment. It could resemble a prison cell rather than a lively apartment if it wasn’t for the fresh colorful plants on the window sills and balcony.
6 9
INT CAFE AFTERNOON
INT. CAFE - AFTERNOON
INT. CAFE - AFTERNOON The cafe is simple, clean with small tables, and counters spaced perfectly for wheelchair access and movement. BILL (45), the only customer, savors a tuna sandwich at the counter. He’s a large man with a slovenly appearance.
7 15
EXT NEIL'S APARTMENT, BALCONY NIGHT
EXT. NEIL'S APARTMENT, BALCONY - NIGHT
EXT. NEIL'S APARTMENT, BALCONY - NIGHT Neil and Tim relax watching the periphery. A cheap rusted railing wobbles as Tim plays with it. NEIL When are you going fix that?
8 16
INT NEIL'S APARTMENT MORNING
INT. NEIL'S APARTMENT - MORNING
INT. NEIL'S APARTMENT - MORNING Tim frantically races around the apartment packing various items for an overnight stay elsewhere. Neil awakens to find Tim ready to make his exit.
9 18
EXT PERIPHERY NIGHT
EXT. PERIPHERY - NIGHT
EXT. PERIPHERY - NIGHT Neil trudges through the mist and watches his reflections in the puddles and potholes. Neil stares into the cafe as Lilith and Judy share a meal. He notices a wry smile on Judith’s expression with
10 19
EXT TALL BUILDING MORNING
EXT. TALL BUILDING - MORNING
EXT. TALL BUILDING - MORNING The building has grooves and cut outs that would make it a climber’s dream. Neil stretches and readies his climbing gear to free solo climb the tall building. He dips his hands in the chalk
11 21
EXT TALL BUILDING ROOFTOP DAY
EXT. TALL BUILDING ROOFTOP - DAY
EXT. TALL BUILDING ROOFTOP - DAY Neil stretches for the edge and pulls himself over just in time to win. He slumps to the ground tired. Neil reaches for his abstraction. Mike slaps his hand on top of it first.
12 22
INT LUXURIOUS BUILDING FOYER NIGHT
INT. LUXURIOUS BUILDING FOYER - NIGHT
INT. LUXURIOUS BUILDING FOYER - NIGHT Neil trudges in exhausted. Rachael spots him and applies makeup. RACHAEL At least you’re not making a mess this
13 24
INT NEIL'S APARTMENT NIGHT
INT. NEIL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
INT. NEIL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT The apartment is dark, silent, and plants slightly wilted. Neil trudges in and looks toward the empty bunk. NEIL
14 26
INT CAFE DAY
INT. CAFE - DAY
INT. CAFE - DAY Neil enters with a creak of the steps and rattle of the bell. The cafe looks busier with new patrons. Bill pleasure eats at a counter savoring each bite.
15 28
EXT PERIPHERY STREET DAY
EXT. PERIPHERY STREET - DAY
EXT. PERIPHERY STREET - DAY Neil walks along the edge of the road as traffic passes. He sights a woman placing a missing persons flyer on a street lamp. TERESA (55), wrinkled and aged by emotions with flashes
16 29
INT CAFE NIGHT
INT. CAFE - NIGHT
INT. CAFE - NIGHT Bill examines a stack of bright amber abstractions. He tests them for purity with a portable scanner. Most register within ninety percent pure. BILL
17 31
INT BOUTIQUE NIGHT
INT. BOUTIQUE - NIGHT
INT. BOUTIQUE - NIGHT Various packs of abstractions line the store with enforcers monitoring visitors. It’s fancy and gritty all in the same view. MILA (35), beautiful once now used, worn, and tired from
18 35
INT NEIL'S APARTMENT DAY
INT. NEIL'S APARTMENT - DAY
INT. NEIL'S APARTMENT - DAY Neil awakens from a deep sleep. His apartment is devoid of all the color it once had. No plants. No Tim. BATHROOM Neil showers and gears up for a motorcycle adventure.
19 37
INT LUXURIOUS BUILDING FOYER NIGHT
INT. LUXURIOUS BUILDING FOYER - NIGHT
INT. LUXURIOUS BUILDING FOYER - NIGHT Neil trudges in with a prominent limp. His leg, wrapped and bloody, shows through. The pain abstraction tucked under his arm. ENFORCER 1 (O.S.)
20 38
INT LARGE OFFICE NIGHT
INT. LARGE OFFICE - NIGHT
INT. LARGE OFFICE - NIGHT An enforcer pulls a figure by the shirt, beaten barely conscious. Take him downstairs for evaluation. The enforcer removes the slumped figure out of the
21 41
EXT NEIL'S APARTMENT NIGHT
EXT. NEIL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
EXT. NEIL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT Neil approaches the door to his apartment a noise can be heard from inside. NEIL Tim?
22 41
EXT BACK ALLEY OF THE APARTMENTS NIGHT
EXT. BACK ALLEY OF THE APARTMENTS - NIGHT
EXT. BACK ALLEY OF THE APARTMENTS - NIGHT Neil, out of breath, finds his climbing pack straps dangling out of a dumpster. The dumpster rats scream and squeak at each other when Neil approaches.
23 42
INT TOUSSEAU'S MANSION, ROSE GARDEN
INT. TOUSSEAU'S MANSION, ROSE GARDEN
INT. TOUSSEAU'S MANSION, ROSE GARDEN The beautiful garden is laid out like a labyrinth covered by a large atrium and bathed in ultraviolet light. TOUSSEAU (75), wheelchair bound impeccably dressed with a rose boutonnière, calmly prunes the roses in the center.
24 45
EXT PERIPHERY OUTSIDE THE CAFE NIGHT
EXT. PERIPHERY OUTSIDE THE CAFE - NIGHT
EXT. PERIPHERY OUTSIDE THE CAFE - NIGHT Neil paces back and forth on the sidewalk like he’s building up the courage to enter. Lilith watches from inside behind a curtain. She makes the first move and opens a window.
25 49
INT LABORATORY FLOOR PLATFORM DAY
INT. LABORATORY FLOOR PLATFORM - DAY
INT. LABORATORY FLOOR PLATFORM - DAY 49679 stands above his workforce overlooking a laboratory floor. The sterile white walls contrast against his skin. Each worker tests and monitors synthetic abstractions. The various stations house an organic sample of pure
26 50
INT HOMELESS SHELTER NIGHT
INT. HOMELESS SHELTER - NIGHT
INT. HOMELESS SHELTER - NIGHT Neil, defeated, trudges into the shelter. A smattering of distressed and worn faces line the tables hoarding whatever soup or food they can eat. Workers share abstractions of bright baby blue gratitude.
27 51
INT HOMELESS SHELTER DORM MORNING
INT. HOMELESS SHELTER DORM - MORNING
INT. HOMELESS SHELTER DORM - MORNING A sea of cots, filled with the downtrodden, looks like a maze with many pushed together for groups or segregated as singles. Neil’s cot is pushed alone next to wall. He sleeps with
28 52
EXT RACHAEL’S APARTMENT DAY
EXT. RACHAEL’S APARTMENT - DAY
EXT. RACHAEL’S APARTMENT - DAY Neil knocks at the door. No answer. He knocks again. The curtains rustle as if someone is watching. NEIL I’m here to see Rachael.
29 53
INT RACHAEL'S APARTMENT DAY
INT. RACHAEL'S APARTMENT - DAY
INT. RACHAEL'S APARTMENT - DAY Nadia, half naked, envelopes Neil with a kiss and seductive placement of her hands. NEIL Hey. I’m not here for that.
30 56
INT HOMELESS SHELTER DORM AFTERNOON
INT. HOMELESS SHELTER DORM - AFTERNOON
INT. HOMELESS SHELTER DORM - AFTERNOON Neil returns to his cot to notice Daniel missing. He searches the dorm. NEIL Anyone see the guy that was here?
31 57
INT LARGE GREENHOUSE DAY
INT. LARGE GREENHOUSE - DAY
INT. LARGE GREENHOUSE - DAY Various high yield protein crops, corn, wheat, and rice fill the two acre space. Grow lights heat the area. Neil hides along the corn, sweating. He searches for the enforcer, panting.
32 58
INT EVALUATION ROOM NIGHT
INT. EVALUATION ROOM - NIGHT
INT. EVALUATION ROOM - NIGHT Tim, mostly beaten, slumps at the edge of the room to the floor. A light pierces the windows. Tim stands and peers through the glass.
33 59
EXT PERIPHERY HOUSE AFTERNOON
EXT. PERIPHERY HOUSE - AFTERNOON
EXT. PERIPHERY HOUSE - AFTERNOON Neil runs through the periphery to a small house at the edge. The small house is quaint with perfectly manicured flowers, plants, and a greenhouse for a vegetable garden
34 60
INT PERIPHERY HOUSE AFTERNOON
INT. PERIPHERY HOUSE - AFTERNOON
INT. PERIPHERY HOUSE - AFTERNOON Neil glides in with a sigh. Guzel pushes him along. She covers her nose. GUZEL Go on. Go.
35 64
INT LARGE OFFICE AFTERNOON
INT. LARGE OFFICE - AFTERNOON
INT. LARGE OFFICE - AFTERNOON Daylight shines into the offices as 49679 scrutinizes over the black abstraction. A series of monitors engage to display various emotionless hierarchy. They encompass him.
36 66
EXT PERIPHERY STREET NIGHT
EXT. PERIPHERY STREET - NIGHT
EXT. PERIPHERY STREET - NIGHT Neil sleeks along the edge of the streets to not be seen. He finds Enforcers actively searching alleys and other places. EXT. PERIPHERY OUTSIDE THE CAFE
37 72
EXT TOUSSEAU’S MANSION DAY
EXT. TOUSSEAU’S MANSION - DAY
EXT. TOUSSEAU’S MANSION - DAY Neil and Lilith ride on the motorcycle to the front gate of the estate. Lilith, already amazed by it’s tall trees and grandeur, studies the surroundings.
38 77
INT TOUSSEAU'S MANSION, ROSE GARDEN DAY
INT. TOUSSEAU'S MANSION, ROSE GARDEN - DAY
INT. TOUSSEAU'S MANSION, ROSE GARDEN - DAY Tousseau leisurely wheels through the garden admiring the roses and pruning them as he goes. 17320 trails a few steps behind Neil ready to pounce. Lilith, now focused on Tousseau, ignores the beauty of it
39 81
INT CAFE AFTERNOON
INT. CAFE - AFTERNOON
INT. CAFE - AFTERNOON Bill relaxes at the counter reviewing notes. Neil and Lilith enter with a creak of the step and ring of the bell. Neil rushes over to Bill and pushes him.
40 84
EXT PERIPHERY OUTSIDE THE CAFE AFTERNOON
EXT. PERIPHERY OUTSIDE THE CAFE - AFTERNOON
EXT. PERIPHERY OUTSIDE THE CAFE - AFTERNOON Neil rushes to ready his motorcycle and helmet. He radiates with fear and anger. LILITH Let those feelings go.
41 84
EXT CITY’S EDGE NIGHT
EXT. CITY’S EDGE - NIGHT
EXT. CITY’S EDGE - NIGHT Clouds rush down to create a barrier. Nothing visible through to the other side. The road fades into the clouds with warning signs that show eminent death.
42 87
INT CAFE DAY
INT. CAFE - DAY
INT. CAFE - DAY Judy ferociously types at the computer. She analyzes building schematics of 49679’s offices. Neil and Lilith sleep back to back into a booth. Bill knocks at the door.
43 89
EXT PERIPHERY - DAY AND NIGHT
EXT. PERIPHERY - DAY AND NIGHT
EXT. PERIPHERY - DAY AND NIGHT MONTAGE Bill, Neil, and Lilith each go door to door seeking support. Some close the door in their faces as others listen.
44 90
INT LARGE OFFICE SAME TIME
INT. LARGE OFFICE - SAME TIME
INT. LARGE OFFICE - SAME TIME 49679 monitors the progress with updates to his program on his data pad. An update hits his data pad with a ping. 49679 snaps his fingers and two enforcers step to his
45 91
EXT BACK ALLEY OF THE APARTMENTS CONTINUOUS
EXT. BACK ALLEY OF THE APARTMENTS - CONTINUOUS
EXT. BACK ALLEY OF THE APARTMENTS - CONTINUOUS Away from the protestors, Neil and Lilith gather a small group of twenty people. NEIL Is she right?
46 92
INT LUXURIOUS BUILDING, FOYER DAY
INT. LUXURIOUS BUILDING, FOYER - DAY
INT. LUXURIOUS BUILDING, FOYER - DAY A gas barrel crashes through the glass and explodes rattling the building. The group smashes the remaining glass and storm into the foyer.
47 93
EXT PERIPHERY CONTINUOUS
EXT. PERIPHERY - CONTINUOUS
EXT. PERIPHERY - CONTINUOUS The large group of protestors hear the sound of the explosion in the distance. Some are rattled and become fearful. The line of enforcers doesn’t even flinch.
48 94
INT LARGE OFFICE SAME TIME
INT. LARGE OFFICE - SAME TIME
INT. LARGE OFFICE - SAME TIME 49679 analyzes a series of screens. He assesses the damage to the foyer. Searches for heat signatures in the elevators. The second group of protestors running from the building.
49 95
EXT PERIPHERY DAY
EXT. PERIPHERY - DAY
EXT. PERIPHERY - DAY The second group races toward the enforcer line chased by other enforcers. They slam into the line with their weapons hitting any enforcer they can. The enforcers retaliate brutally.
50 96
INT LUXURIOUS BUILDING, EMPTY FLOOR DAY
INT. LUXURIOUS BUILDING, EMPTY FLOOR - DAY
INT. LUXURIOUS BUILDING, EMPTY FLOOR - DAY Neil and Lilith run out of the stairwell onto an empty floor. Each enforcer finds another entry and stride toward them. Neil removes his bag and pulls out a metal striker. He
51 97
EXT LUXURIOUS BUILDING, FACADE DAY
EXT. LUXURIOUS BUILDING, FACADE - DAY
EXT. LUXURIOUS BUILDING, FACADE - DAY Neil stretches his foot along a ledge. Lilith follows and pushes Neil forward as an enforcer reaches out for her and nearly grips. LILITH
52 98
EXT LUXURIOUS BUILDING, FACADE DAY
EXT. LUXURIOUS BUILDING, FACADE - DAY
EXT. LUXURIOUS BUILDING, FACADE - DAY Neil and Lilith slowly progress up the building. Neil’s earpiece crackles back to life. INTERCUT INT. CAFE - DAY
53 100
EXT PERIPHERY DAY
EXT. PERIPHERY - DAY
EXT. PERIPHERY - DAY Once colorful, the periphery is soaked in blood. Protest signs a mess strewn along the edges. Many lay beaten. Others taking their final breath. Enforcers examine the dying and apply abstractions to
54 102
INT LUXURIOUS BUILDING, EMPTY FLOOR DAY
INT. LUXURIOUS BUILDING, EMPTY FLOOR - DAY
INT. LUXURIOUS BUILDING, EMPTY FLOOR - DAY The window shatters with the tempered glass falling everywhere. Lilith peeks around the edge and sleeks to the floor, careful.
55 104
INT EVALUATION ROOM DAY
INT. EVALUATION ROOM - DAY
INT. EVALUATION ROOM - DAY 49679 pounds on Tim relentlessly. He’s ruthless, callous, and unforgiving but calm. Tim laughs in his face. TIM
56 105
INT LARGE OFFICE SAME TIME
INT. LARGE OFFICE - SAME TIME
INT. LARGE OFFICE - SAME TIME The elevator opens and Lilith finds enforcers guarding the lab. Lilith kicks the oil barrel into the office. Enforcers react defensively to avoid contact as the
57 107
INT EVALUATION ROOM CONTINUOUS
INT. EVALUATION ROOM - CONTINUOUS
INT. EVALUATION ROOM - CONTINUOUS Neil rushes in to check on Tim. Tim smiles awaiting his last breathe. Neil holds Tim in his arms. The emotion bursts from Neil as he places his hand on top
58 108
INT GUARD'S STATION AFTERNOON
INT. GUARD'S STATION - AFTERNOON
INT. GUARD'S STATION - AFTERNOON Neil cautiously approaches from the evaluation rooms and peers to the edge. 49679 stands waiting for him in an open space in front of the desk. He points to the synthetic yellow abstraction.
59 111
EXT PERIPHERY - DAYS LATER
EXT. PERIPHERY - DAYS LATER
EXT. PERIPHERY - DAYS LATER The periphery is returning to life. The posters that once acknowledged the missing now shine remembering the fallen. Flowers and color surround the memorials. Teresa and Rachael place red roses at a memorial for
60 112
INT CAFE DAY
INT. CAFE - DAY
INT. CAFE - DAY LILITH You’re still going to go? NEIL I have to. He’s made assurances for the

Abstraction

When his brother is captured by the emotionless elite, a thrill-seeking harvester of human emotions must lead a rebellion against the very system that sustains him, risking everything to preserve what makes us human.

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Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

Abstraction stands out in the dystopian genre by literalizing emotions as harvestable commodities via 'abstractions,' blending visceral action with philosophical inquiry into what makes us human. It appeals to fans of Blade Runner or The Matrix through its high-stakes rebellion against emotional suppression, compelling via intimate brotherly bonds and moral ambiguities that question freedom versus control, making it a fresh take on identity in a commodified world.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

GPT5
 Recommend
Gemini
 Consider
DeepSeek
 Consider
Claude
 Recommend
Grok
 Recommend
Average Score: 7.6
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
To strengthen the script's craft, prioritize clarifying the core mechanics of the 'abstraction' technology—such as consistent rules for harvesting, purity, and effects—to eliminate confusion and bolster narrative logic. Additionally, refine pacing in the middle act by tightening transitions and reducing repetitive scenes, while deepening antagonist motivations like Tousseau's to enhance emotional depth and thematic resonance, ensuring the story's innovative premise shines through with greater clarity and impact.
For Executives:
The script has solid commercial potential with its original sci-fi concept of emotional commodification, offering visually striking set-pieces and festival appeal, but it carries risks from inconsistent world-building rules and pacing drags that could alienate audiences or reviewers, potentially limiting box office performance without targeted revisions to improve coherence and engagement in a crowded dystopian market.
Story Facts
Genres:
Science Fiction 45% Action 35% Drama 60% Thriller 30% War 20%

Setting: Distant future, unspecified year, A dystopian cityscape with luxurious buildings, impoverished peripheries, and various indoor settings like cafes and offices.

Themes: The Commodification and Exploitation of Emotion, Loss of Self and Dehumanization, Rebellion Against Control and Oppression, The Search for Genuine Connection and Empathy, The Nature and Power of Fear, Sacrifice and Loss, Duality of Nature and Technology

Conflict & Stakes: Neil's struggle against an oppressive society that exploits emotions, with the stakes being the safety of his brother Tim and the fight for emotional freedom.

Mood: Tense and introspective, with moments of urgency and emotional depth.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The use of emotional abstractions as a central plot device that influences character actions and societal dynamics.
  • Major Twist: The revelation of Tousseau's manipulative role and the interconnectedness of the characters' fates.
  • Distinctive Setting: A richly detailed dystopian cityscape that contrasts luxury with poverty, enhancing the narrative's themes.
  • Innovative Ideas: The concept of harvesting emotions and the societal implications of emotional control.
  • Unique Characters: A diverse cast with complex motivations, particularly Neil's emotional journey and 49679's cold demeanor.

Comparable Scripts: Blade Runner 2049, Altered Carbon, The Matrix, Gattaca, Children of Men, Black Mirror (specifically 'White Christmas'), The Handmaid's Tale, Ready Player One, The Road

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.75
Key Suggestions:
To elevate the script, focus on deepening the arcs of secondary characters like Tim and Nadia by incorporating richer backstories and transformative experiences. This will enhance emotional resonance and audience connection, making the narrative more impactful and cohesive. Additionally, streamline pacing in expository scenes to maintain momentum and ensure character motivations are clearly shown through action and dialogue rather than telling, drawing from the analyses' emphasis on character development and narrative structure.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
To refine 'Abstraction' from a creative standpoint, focus on streamlining the narrative by reducing subplots and clarifying character motivations to avoid overwhelming the audience, while enhancing emotional depth through stronger visual elements and interpersonal connections. This will create a more cohesive and resonant story, emphasizing the core theme of emotional commodification and making the character journeys more impactful and engaging.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The character analysis highlights strong foundations for protagonists like Neil and Lilith, but reveals opportunities to deepen emotional arcs and backstories for supporting characters and antagonists. Focusing on exploring internal conflicts, clarifying transformation triggers, and enhancing dialogue will create more nuanced interactions and resonant themes, ultimately strengthening the script's emotional core and narrative drive in this dystopian setting.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
The script's emotional core is strong but could be enhanced by introducing more varied and positive emotions to balance the pervasive grimness, refining pacing to avoid emotional fatigue in high-intensity sequences, and deepening empathy for secondary characters through richer, more personal moments. Focusing on these aspects will create a more nuanced emotional journey, making the story more engaging and resonant, while ensuring that key themes like emotional harvesting are explored with greater depth and subtlety in character interactions.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The script's strength lies in Neil's compelling character arc, evolving from emotional detachment to genuine connection, which drives the narrative and thematic depth. To enhance this, focus on tightening the philosophical elements—such as the authenticity of emotions versus technological control—by ensuring key moments of conflict resolution feel organic and less expository, allowing for more subtle character-driven revelations that heighten emotional impact and audience engagement without overwhelming the pace.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
The script's exploration of emotion as a commodity is compelling and well-structured, but to enhance its creative craft, focus on adding more nuanced character development and subtle emotional beats. For instance, expanding on Neil's internal struggles and relationships could make the themes feel more organic and less didactic, improving audience connection and pacing, while ensuring that the rebellion arc builds naturally from personal stakes rather than exposition.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
The script's inconsistencies, such as character behavior shifts, plot holes, and redundancies, weaken its emotional depth and pacing. To enhance the narrative, focus on building logical consistency in emotional mechanics and character arcs, ensuring actions stem from established motivations rather than plot convenience, and streamline repetitive elements to maintain audience engagement and thematic clarity.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
The script's voice effectively captures a gritty, dystopian atmosphere with sharp dialogue and vivid descriptions, but to enhance its impact, focus on ensuring consistent emotional depth across all scenes, similar to the standout Scene 3. By deepening character introspection and varying pacing to avoid repetition, the writer can amplify themes of dehumanization and individuality, making the narrative more engaging and resonant, while addressing any tonal inconsistencies to strengthen the overall craft.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
To elevate the script's creative impact, focus on refining dialogue to incorporate more subtext for deeper emotional layers, adjusting pacing to ensure seamless transitions between high-tension action and quieter moments, and expanding character development by exploring internal conflicts. These enhancements will build on the script's strong foundation in emotional depth and thematic resonance, making the narrative more compelling and immersive for audiences.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The script's world-building is a strong asset, vividly depicting a dystopian society where emotions are commodified, but to elevate the craft, focus on integrating this world more seamlessly into character arcs and plot progression. By ensuring that environmental and societal elements actively drive character decisions—such as Neil's emotional detachment evolving through interactions with the physical decay and hierarchical oppression—the narrative can achieve greater depth and emotional resonance, making the story more immersive and thematically cohesive for audiences.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
The script's strength lies in its effective use of tension to drive conflict and story progression, but there's an over-reliance on it, leading to pacing issues in reflective scenes and a lack of emotional diversity. To enhance the craft, incorporate a broader range of tones, such as humor or levity, and integrate higher stakes into emotional moments to maintain urgency and prevent disengagement, ultimately making the narrative more dynamic and character-driven.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.

Comparison with Previous Draft

See how your script has evolved from the previous version. This section highlights improvements, regressions, and changes across all major categories, helping you understand what revisions are working and what may need more attention.

Version Comparison Analysis
Summary of Changes
Improvements (5)
  • Character Complexity - characterArcs: 7.0 → 9.0 +2.0
  • Character Complexity - antagonistDevelopment: 6.0 → 8.0 +2.0
  • Visual Imagery - symbolismMotifs: 7.0 → 9.0 +2.0
  • Originality - thematicDepth: 7.0 → 8.0 +1.0
  • Character Complexity - characterRelatability: 7.0 → 8.0 +1.0
Areas to Review (0)

No regressions detected