The Lastlight Pilot

When an Air Force intelligence officer investigating a missing comrade is pulled into visions of an ancient kingdom, he must find a mystical artifact called the Lastlight — before a malevolent force that can cross worlds uses him to destroy both realities.

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Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

The script's unique selling proposition is its sophisticated dual-narrative structure that seamlessly blends modern military thriller with high fantasy, creating a rare cross-genre appeal. The parallel storytelling between Air Force Lieutenant Taylor Pierce's investigation in Turkey and Prince Peter's medieval struggle in the Kingdom of Lurr, connected through shared dreams and a mysterious cosmic light, offers a fresh take on portal fantasy. The integration of reincarnation/parallel lives (Taylor/Peter, Risa/Sarah) with government conspiracy elements creates multiple layers of mystery that would appeal to fans of both fantasy and conspiracy thriller genres.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

GPT5
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Claude
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Grok
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Gemini
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DeepSeek
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Average Score: 6.9
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
To elevate your script, focus on clarifying the rules governing the interdimensional travel and the Lastlight's powers, as inconsistent mechanics can confuse audiences and weaken immersion. Additionally, deepen character motivations—particularly for antagonists like General Bose and Mordak—and reduce reliance on expository dialogue by showing key information through action and subtext. Strengthening these elements will make the dual-world narrative more cohesive and emotionally resonant, transforming a promising concept into a compelling story.
For Executives:
The script offers strong value with its innovative genre blend of military thriller and high fantasy, appealing to a niche audience and holding franchise potential through its parallel worlds conceit. However, risks include tonal inconsistencies and underdeveloped world-building that could alienate viewers or lead to costly reshoots, potentially limiting marketability in a competitive TV landscape where clarity and pacing are crucial for retention.
Story Facts
Genres:
Fantasy 45% Thriller 35% Drama 30% Action 20% Romance 10% War 10% Horror 5%

Setting: May 2000, Kovali, Turkey and the Kingdom of Lurr

Themes: The Intertwined Nature of Dreams and Reality, Identity and Hidden Truths, Destiny and the Burden of Power, Betrayal and Corruption, Courage in the Face of Adversity, Familial Bonds and Their Perversion

Conflict & Stakes: The main conflict revolves around Taylor's quest to uncover the truth about Frank Loge's alleged treason, the supernatural threat posed by Mordak, and Peter's struggle with his identity and the impending execution of Lord Bryant, which could destabilize the kingdom.

Mood: Tense and suspenseful, with moments of mystical wonder and emotional depth.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The intertwining of military and fantasy elements, with a supernatural artifact (Lastlight) central to the plot.
  • Major Twist: The revelation of Peter's true parentage and the implications for the kingdom's future.
  • Distinctive Setting: The contrasting environments of a bustling Turkish marketplace and the mystical Kingdom of Lurr.
  • Innovative Ideas: The concept of a dimensional rift connecting different realms and the supernatural elements tied to the Lastlight.
  • Unique Characters: A diverse cast with complex motivations, including a prince, a military officer, and a mysterious woman with a troubled past.

Comparable Scripts: Inception, The Bourne Identity, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, Game of Thrones (TV Series), The Matrix, The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis, The Secret History by Donna Tartt, The Dark Tower series by Stephen King, The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.51
Key Suggestions:
To elevate your script, focus on refining character motivations, particularly for antagonists like King Simeon, by adding depth through backstories and internal conflicts. Additionally, clarify supernatural elements such as the Lastlight to improve narrative coherence and emotional impact, ensuring that transitions between real and fantastical worlds feel seamless and enhance the overall storytelling.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
The script effectively merges military drama with fantasy elements, creating an engaging narrative, but to elevate it creatively, focus on refining pacing and reducing exposition-heavy dialogue to allow for more immersive storytelling and organic character revelations. Strengthening transitions between the real and dream worlds, along with deeper character backstories, will enhance emotional depth and make the pilot more compelling, ensuring that the audience remains invested in Taylor's journey and the overarching themes of destiny and betrayal.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The character analysis highlights that while the protagonists like Taylor, Peter, and Risa have strong foundational elements, the script can be improved by deepening their backstories and emotional wounds through added flashbacks and internal monologues. This would enhance complexity, ensure more purposeful arcs, and strengthen relationships, making the narrative more engaging and thematically resonant. Additionally, supporting characters like Jason need more depth to avoid feeling one-dimensional, which could elevate overall character dynamics and prevent plot stagnation.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
To elevate the script's emotional craft, focus on integrating a broader range of emotions across both narrative threads, ensuring smoother transitions and more balanced intensity to prevent audience fatigue. Enhance character empathy by vividly showing relationships and adding layers of emotional complexity, such as incorporating wonder in supernatural scenes and proactive moments for characters like Peter, making the story more engaging and resonant on a human level.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The analysis reveals a compelling character arc for Taylor, driven by internal and external goals that build tension effectively, but to elevate the script's craft, focus on refining the integration of dream sequences with real-world events to enhance clarity and emotional depth. Strengthening the philosophical conflicts, such as loyalty versus betrayal, will make the narrative more cohesive and impactful, ensuring that Taylor's evolution feels organic and resonates deeply with audiences.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
From a creative perspective, the script's strong emphasis on the interplay between dreams and reality offers rich opportunities for character development and thematic depth. To improve, focus on tightening the transitions between dream sequences and real-world events to enhance clarity and emotional impact, ensuring that the audience remains engaged without confusion. Additionally, deepen the exploration of character identities and their cross-dimensional connections to make the narrative more cohesive and resonant, leveraging the high theme strengths to build suspense and personal stakes.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
The script's inconsistencies in character behavior, story transitions, and plot elements highlight opportunities for refinement in world-building and character development. By ensuring emotional arcs are consistent, clarifying the rules of supernatural phenomena, and resolving plot holes, the writer can create a more cohesive and engaging narrative that better immerses the audience in the story's blend of military thriller and fantasy elements.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
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Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
The writer's voice excels in crafting atmospheric tension and supernatural intrigue, but to elevate the script, focus on tightening the transitions between dream sequences and reality to avoid disorienting the audience. Enhancing character motivations, especially for Taylor and Peter, will add emotional resonance, ensuring that the vivid sensory details serve the story's pace and thematic depth rather than overwhelming it.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
To improve the script's creative craft, focus on enhancing dialogue with more subtle subtext to reveal deeper character emotions, refining pacing to maintain consistent tension and balance action with emotional depth, and expanding character development through techniques like flashbacks to add complexity and backstory. This will make the narrative more engaging and immersive, leveraging the script's strong elements of suspense and vivid settings.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The script's world-building is a strong asset, effectively blending real-world and fantastical elements to create tension and depth, but to enhance its craft, focus on tightening the transitions between realities to avoid audience confusion and ensure that cultural and technological contrasts serve to deepen character motivations rather than overwhelm the narrative. By clarifying the rules of supernatural phenomena, such as the Lastlight and portals, the writer can make the story more immersive and emotionally resonant, ultimately strengthening the thematic exploration of identity and illusion.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
The scene pattern analysis highlights strengths in emotional and epic tones that effectively drive impact and character depth, but identifies key areas for improvement, such as enhancing dialogue in mysterious and suspenseful scenes to avoid it feeling functional rather than evocative, and introducing earlier character changes to prevent static portrayals in the script's beginning. By intentionally balancing these elements, you can create a more cohesive narrative that maintains engagement and deepens audience connection throughout the story.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.