The Wishing Well
When an offhand wish at an old well collides with a janitor's decades-old grief, a teenage girl must confront her town’s casual cruelty to restore memory where there has been erasure.
See other logline suggestionsOverview
Unique Selling Point
This script uniquely blends supernatural elements with real-world grief and small-town secrets, using the wishing well as both literal and metaphorical device to explore how communities process tragedy and how careless actions can reopen old wounds. The combination of 80s nostalgia with timeless themes of loss creates a distinctive tone that sets it apart from typical genre fare.
AI Verdict & Suggestions
Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.
Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries
GPT5
Recommend
Recommend
Gemini
Consider
Consider
Claude
Consider
Consider
Grok
Recommend
Recommend
DeepSeek
Recommend
Recommend
Note:
As Neil Gaiman says, “People are usually right about what's wrong, and usually wrong about how to fix it.”
Consider the suggestions in this analysis as potential catalysts: adopt what strengthens your vision, and let the rest deepen your understanding of what the story wants to become.
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
You have a strong, cinematic short with a memorable motif (the CLINK) and an emotionally resonant core: grief, memory and a teen’s awakening. The next draft should choose clarity over passive implication—decide whether the well/Mrs. Craven are literally supernatural or symbolic, then tighten scenes to show that logic. Cut the microfilm info‑dump into an active discovery (or fold details into Mrs. Craven’s dialogue), deepen one or two supporting characters so the town’s culpability feels earned, and give Emily a clear, costly action in the finale (something she must choose or risk) so the emotional payoff lands. Small, focused rewrites here will strengthen stakes without bloating the short’s tight structure.
For Executives:
This is a festival-ready, low-budget short with a strong visual hook and topical, festival-friendly themes (memory, small-town culpability). Its market upside is solid for drama and supernatural-leaning shorts, but current ambiguity around the supernatural rules and a passive protagonist create programming risk—judges and programmers often favor clear stakes and active agency in short form. With targeted rewrites (clarify the well’s mechanics, sharpen Emily’s agency, cut the microfilm dump) the piece can move from promising festival programmer interest to a competitive festival contender with minimal additional cost.
Story Facts
Genres:
Drama 40%
Horror 30%
Comedy 20%
Thriller 30%
Setting: 1985, A small mill town, including a hilltop, school, library, and residential areas
Themes: The Weight of Unacknowledged Grief and Memory, Coming-of-Age and Loss of Innocence, The Supernatural and Unresolved Mysteries, The Hypocrisy and Disregard of Community
Conflict & Stakes: Emily's emotional journey as she confronts her ignorance about Mrs. Craven's past and the tragic history of the well, with stakes involving her understanding of loss and memory.
Mood: Somber and introspective with elements of nostalgia and mystery.
Standout Features:
- Unique Hook: The mysterious well that serves as a focal point for the children's wishes and the tragic history tied to it.
- Plot Twist: The revelation of Mrs. Craven's husband's death and the town's complicity in the tragedy.
- Distinctive Setting: The nostalgic 1980s mill town atmosphere that evokes a sense of timelessness and innocence.
- Innovative Ideas: The integration of supernatural elements with real emotional stakes, blending coming-of-age themes with horror.
- Unique Characters: The complex relationship between Emily and Mrs. Craven, highlighting themes of empathy and understanding.
Comparable Scripts: Stand By Me, The Goonies, It (2017), The Secret Garden, A Wrinkle in Time, Coraline, The Body (short story by Stephen King), The Lovely Bones, Ghost World
Screenplay Video
The video is a bit crude as the tool is still Alpha code. Contact us if there's a problem or with suggestions.
Share Your Analysis
Sharing
Loading...
Share URL:
Script Level Analysis
Writer
Exec
This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.
Screenplay Insights
Breaks down your script along various categories.
Overall Score: 7.71
Exec Summary:
The script has a strong central hook, evocative tone, and festival-friendly emotional core, but its market prospects are constrained by underdeveloped supporting characters and slightly muted stakes. Low-cost, focused rewrites to give Tommy and Jenny clear, visible arcs (and a minor escalation of stakes/clarity around the supernatural) will materially improve audience engagement and competitive appeal without increasing budget or runtime.
Key Suggestions:
Tight, targeted revisions will pay the biggest creative dividends: deepen Tommy and Jenny with micro-moments (actions, reactions, a single revealing line or prop) that show internal conflict and growth, and tie those moments to the well motif and Emily’s arc. You don’t need new scenes — insert small beats (a hesitation, a private exchange, a visual callback) in existing scenes so their arcs feel earned and amplify the emotional payoff of the finale.
Story Critique
Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.
Exec Summary:
The Wishing Well has a compelling, marketable core: an 80s-tinged, female-led mystery with festival and streaming potential in the indie/genre space. Its strengths are mood and a clear protagonist arc, but there is risk that key reveals may feel abrupt to broader audiences and reduce word-of-mouth traction. A focused rewrite — primarily adding early foreshadowing and stronger interpersonal ties to the town — is a low-cost way to increase emotional payoff and broaden audience accessibility while preserving the script's atmospheric identity. This makes the project a safer bet for modest-budget production and targeted festival runs.
Key Suggestions:
The screenplay's atmosphere and emotional throughline are strong, but the impact of the final revelation would benefit from structural tightening: foreshadow Mrs. Craven earlier and deepen Emily's personal connection to the town's past so the arc feels earned. Small, concrete beats — an almost-noticed figure in the background of Scene 1, a whispered line from an older resident, or a faded family photograph that hints at the foreman — will integrate the mystery into the town's fabric and raise the stakes of Emily's discovery. Also clarify the town's collective choice to forget the accident (through a library snippet or a hushed conversation) and consider a subtle late-stage sign of Mrs. Craven's release to make the ending emotionally satisfying without losing the screenplay's eerie ambiguity.
Characters
Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.
Emotional Analysis
Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.
Exec Summary:
This is a character-driven, mood-forward short with a memorable emotional climax that could resonate with festival audiences and platform viewers who favor slow-burn, nostalgia-tinged suspense. However, the screenplay currently risks audience fatigue and limited broad appeal because of prolonged negative tone and underused supporting characters. Mitigations—shortening/redistributing high-intensity scenes and planting empathy for Mrs. Craven earlier—will improve viewer retention, emotional clarity, and marketability without sacrificing the story’s dark heart.
Key Suggestions:
The script has a compelling emotional arc — playful nostalgia that hardens into a powerful, melancholic climax — but it leans too long into sustained negative emotion, particularly in Scene 3. To strengthen audience engagement, add brief moments of emotional relief and early seeds of Mrs. Craven’s humanity (a faded photo in her window, a fleeting compassionate glance) so the final revelation lands with more nuance. Tighten and break up Scene 3 (shorten the sustained high-fear beats, insert a quiet, character-driven beat where Emily connects with a friend or shows private resilience) to improve pacing and make the emotional payoff in Scene 4 more satisfying.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.
Exec Summary:
This is a marketable, nostalgic indie coming-of-age mystery with a built-in festival and streaming audience—strong aesthetic and emotional hooks. The chief risk is an under-specified protagonist arc and an ambiguous payoff that may leave general audiences emotionally unfulfilled; that can be mitigated with modest rewrites to clarify stakes and tighten resolution. With those fixes, the project could be positioned as a character-driven festival favorite or a platform drama with awards potential for performance and screenplay.
Key Suggestions:
Tighten and dramatize Emily’s arc so her internal desire (bravery, belonging, and wish for a different family) is clearly established early and mirrored by specific external actions. Make Mrs. Craven’s grief and the foreman’s backstory more tactile—add small scenes or beats that show the town’s denial and Emily’s attempts to reconcile it—so the final ‘wish’ lands as earned rather than merely atmospheric. Small structural shifts (one or two earlier clues, a clearer obstacle to honoring the foreman, and one stronger emotional choice by Emily) will amplify payoff without changing the core tone.
Themes
Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.
Exec Summary:
This is a low-to-mid budget, character-led indie with strong festival and streaming potential: a nostalgic 1980s small-town mystery grounded in human grief rather than jump scares. Its strengths are mood, a distinct motif (the well/coin), and a bittersweet emotional payoff. Risks: the slow, ambiguous supernatural elements and underexposed community culpability could leave mainstream viewers disengaged. Mitigate risk by sharpening the emotional stakes, clarifying the nature of Mrs. Craven’s presence for marketing copy, and positioning the film as a moody coming-of-age drama with a literary supernatural hook to reach specialty distributors and festival programmers.
Key Suggestions:
Lean into the emotional center: make Mrs. Craven’s grief the throughline and ensure every scene, image and choice of POV serves that core. Tighten the supernatural ambiguity by deciding whether Mrs. Craven is spectral or a very present, damaged woman whose presence reads like a ghost; either choice should be signaled consistently. Amplify the town’s complicity (small gestures, looks, a town ritual montage) and use the coin/clink motif as a recurring auditory and visual anchor to unify tone. Give Emily a clearer arc of responsibility — her curiosity should move from naive play to active reparative choice — and pare scenes that don't push those emotional beats forward to improve pacing.
Logic & Inconsistencies
Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.
Exec Summary:
This is a low-budget, character-driven project with festival potential thanks to atmosphere and a haunting central image. However, unresolved story logic around the well and a few blunt expository moments risk audience dissatisfaction and weaken word-of-mouth and juried appeal. With focused rewrites to clarify the well's rules and Mrs. Craven's knowledge—and by tightening dialogue and redundant motifs—the script can move from a promising mood piece to a competitively coherent short with clear marketability.
Key Suggestions:
The screenplay's mood and emotional core are strong, but the central mechanics around the wishing well and Mrs. Craven's knowledge are unclear and create noticeable plot holes. Decide whether the well is literal magic or symbolic, then tighten beats to show how Mrs. Craven learns Emily's wish (concrete eavesdropping detail, visual cue, or earlier foreshadowing). Also soften or humanize expository lines and trim repeated sound/action motifs so character motivation and theme feel earned rather than plot-driven.
Screenplay Insights
Breaks down your script along various categories.
The script has a strong central hook, evocative tone, and festival-friendly emotional core, but its market prospects are constrained by underdeveloped supporting characters and slightly muted stakes. Low-cost, focused rewrites to give Tommy and Jenny clear, visible arcs (and a minor escalation of stakes/clarity around the supernatural) will materially improve audience engagement and competitive appeal without increasing budget or runtime.
Story Critique
Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.
The Wishing Well has a compelling, marketable core: an 80s-tinged, female-led mystery with festival and streaming potential in the indie/genre space. Its strengths are mood and a clear protagonist arc, but there is risk that key reveals may feel abrupt to broader audiences and reduce word-of-mouth traction. A focused rewrite — primarily adding early foreshadowing and stronger interpersonal ties to the town — is a low-cost way to increase emotional payoff and broaden audience accessibility while preserving the script's atmospheric identity. This makes the project a safer bet for modest-budget production and targeted festival runs.
Emotional Analysis
Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.
This is a character-driven, mood-forward short with a memorable emotional climax that could resonate with festival audiences and platform viewers who favor slow-burn, nostalgia-tinged suspense. However, the screenplay currently risks audience fatigue and limited broad appeal because of prolonged negative tone and underused supporting characters. Mitigations—shortening/redistributing high-intensity scenes and planting empathy for Mrs. Craven earlier—will improve viewer retention, emotional clarity, and marketability without sacrificing the story’s dark heart.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.
This is a marketable, nostalgic indie coming-of-age mystery with a built-in festival and streaming audience—strong aesthetic and emotional hooks. The chief risk is an under-specified protagonist arc and an ambiguous payoff that may leave general audiences emotionally unfulfilled; that can be mitigated with modest rewrites to clarify stakes and tighten resolution. With those fixes, the project could be positioned as a character-driven festival favorite or a platform drama with awards potential for performance and screenplay.
Themes
Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.
This is a low-to-mid budget, character-led indie with strong festival and streaming potential: a nostalgic 1980s small-town mystery grounded in human grief rather than jump scares. Its strengths are mood, a distinct motif (the well/coin), and a bittersweet emotional payoff. Risks: the slow, ambiguous supernatural elements and underexposed community culpability could leave mainstream viewers disengaged. Mitigate risk by sharpening the emotional stakes, clarifying the nature of Mrs. Craven’s presence for marketing copy, and positioning the film as a moody coming-of-age drama with a literary supernatural hook to reach specialty distributors and festival programmers.
Logic & Inconsistencies
Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.
This is a low-budget, character-driven project with festival potential thanks to atmosphere and a haunting central image. However, unresolved story logic around the well and a few blunt expository moments risk audience dissatisfaction and weaken word-of-mouth and juried appeal. With focused rewrites to clarify the well's rules and Mrs. Craven's knowledge—and by tightening dialogue and redundant motifs—the script can move from a promising mood piece to a competitively coherent short with clear marketability.
Scene Analysis
All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.
Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
The screenplay excels in emotional impact and character development but needs to enhance conflict and originality to maximize its potential.
Go to Scene Analysis
Analysis of the Scene Percentiles
Key Strengths
Note: The ratings are the averages of all the scenes.
- High emotional impact (84.98) indicates the screenplay effectively resonates with audiences, likely creating a strong connection.
- Strong character changes (94.55) suggest dynamic character development, which can enhance viewer engagement and investment in the story.
- High concept rating (82.16) reflects a compelling and original idea that stands out in the market.
- The conflict level (27.70) is notably low, suggesting the need for more tension and stakes to drive the narrative forward.
- The external goal score (34.54) indicates that the screenplay may lack clear, compelling external objectives for the characters, which can detract from audience engagement.
- Originality score (37.11) suggests that the screenplay may benefit from more unique elements or twists to differentiate it from existing works.
The writer appears to be more conceptual, with strengths in plot and concept but lower scores in character and dialogue, indicating a focus on overarching themes rather than nuanced character interactions.
Balancing Elements- Enhancing conflict and stakes will help balance the strong emotional impact and character development, creating a more cohesive narrative.
- Improving dialogue and character depth can complement the high concept and plot ratings, making the story more relatable and engaging.
Conceptual
Overall AssessmentThe screenplay shows strong potential with compelling concepts and emotional resonance, but it requires improvements in conflict and character goals to fully engage the audience.
How this was done: Each criteria is ranked in comparison to scripts in our Vault
(such as The Matrix, Breaking Bad, etc.) This allows you to see where you stand compared to other
produced scripts for each criteria.
How scenes compare to the Scripts in our Library
Other Analyses
Writer
Exec
This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.
Unique Voice
Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.
Exec Summary:
This is a well-crafted, mood-driven period drama with indie/streamer potential: its nostalgic 1980s small-town setting and haunting coming-of-age voice can play well at festivals and on curated streaming slates. Risks include a slow, ambiguous pace and a payoff that may feel insular or underwhelming to general audiences. Mitigate risk by tightening the central hook, ensuring a clear emotional payoff, and attaching a marketable director/lead or festival-friendly packaging; budget modestly and position the film for festival launch and targeted streaming distribution.
Key Suggestions:
You have a strong, atmospheric voice that creates mood and emotional resonance—keep that. To improve the script, tighten the narrative clarity around the central mystery and the emotional stakes: make Mrs. Craven’s backstory and its connection to Emily's wish-driven arc more explicit and give the supernatural thread a clearer, personally meaningful payoff. Practical steps: consolidate scenes that feel repetitive, sharpen key dialogue beats to reveal motive (not just mood), and ensure each supernatural moment advances Emily’s inner journey so the ending lands emotionally rather than only atmospherically.
Writer's Craft
Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.
Exec Summary:
This is a marketable, indie-friendly, character-driven drama with clear festival potential because of its mood and thematic subtlety. The primary risk is that the emotional core currently reads as understated to the point of ambiguity — festival programmers and buyers want clear stakes and a palpable protagonist journey. With focused revisions to deepen the lead’s arc, clarify motivations, and tighten pacing, the script can move from a promising mood piece to a competitive, saleable short/feature festival contender.
Key Suggestions:
You have a strong gift for atmosphere, nostalgia, and quietly resonant moments. To make the script competitive, concentrate on deepening character interiority through subtext: sharpen what each character wants versus needs, let those motivations inform small actions and silences, and tighten dialogue so it consistently reveals character rather than stating emotion. Use targeted rewrites and the suggested exercises to convert evocative description into more emotionally charged, character-driven beats that build toward a clearer arc for Emily and Mrs. Craven.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
World Building
Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.
Exec Summary:
This is a low-to-medium budget period mystery with strong emotional core and festival/streaming potential — it trades big spectacle for mood, character and nostalgia (an '80s small-town ghost story' sensibility that can attract audiences who like atmospheric, character-driven pieces). Risks: current pacing is slow and the ambiguous payoff may split viewers; without tightening the protagonist’s agency and clarifying the theme payoff, it could underperform commercially. Recommendation: position as specialty/indie title, target festivals and niche streaming audiences, and greenlight with a modest budget and a director experienced in tone-driven work.
Key Suggestions:
The script has a richly textured, nostalgic world that supports a quiet, mysterious coming-of-age story. To strengthen it, tighten the causal links between setting and character: make Mrs. Craven’s grief and the well’s history affect Emily earlier and more directly, give Emily clearer agency in driving the investigation and resolution, and decide how literal the supernatural elements are so the emotional payoff lands. Small structural tweaks (reordering reveals, amplifying sensory detail at key beats, and clarifying stakes) will convert atmosphere into dramatic momentum without losing the screenplay’s melancholic tone.
Correlations
Identifies patterns in scene scores.
Exec Summary:
The screenplay shows real craft — strong plotting and character work power its best moments — and has marketable emotional resonance when stakes are clear. Risk: uneven pacing and lower-stakes early scenes could dilute impact for festival/judge readers used to compact, stakes-driven storytelling. Opportunity: refine to emphasize high-stakes emotional beats and purposeful dialogue to increase festival competitiveness and commercial appeal among buyers who value concise emotional payoff.
Key Suggestions:
Your strongest scene (Scene 4) demonstrates that when you pair an explicitly emotional tone with clearly elevated, demonstrable stakes, the script lands hardest. Lean into that formula: make emotional moments earn their weight by raising tangible personal or external consequences, and ensure dialogue always advances the plot or reveals character purpose. Tighten earlier scenes so they build toward that high-stakes emotional payoff rather than merely setting atmosphere.
Unique Voice
Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.
You have a strong, atmospheric voice that creates mood and emotional resonance—keep that. To improve the script, tighten the narrative clarity around the central mystery and the emotional stakes: make Mrs. Craven’s backstory and its connection to Emily's wish-driven arc more explicit and give the supernatural thread a clearer, personally meaningful payoff. Practical steps: consolidate scenes that feel repetitive, sharpen key dialogue beats to reveal motive (not just mood), and ensure each supernatural moment advances Emily’s inner journey so the ending lands emotionally rather than only atmospherically.
Writer's Craft
Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.
You have a strong gift for atmosphere, nostalgia, and quietly resonant moments. To make the script competitive, concentrate on deepening character interiority through subtext: sharpen what each character wants versus needs, let those motivations inform small actions and silences, and tighten dialogue so it consistently reveals character rather than stating emotion. Use targeted rewrites and the suggested exercises to convert evocative description into more emotionally charged, character-driven beats that build toward a clearer arc for Emily and Mrs. Craven.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
World Building
Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.
The script has a richly textured, nostalgic world that supports a quiet, mysterious coming-of-age story. To strengthen it, tighten the causal links between setting and character: make Mrs. Craven’s grief and the well’s history affect Emily earlier and more directly, give Emily clearer agency in driving the investigation and resolution, and decide how literal the supernatural elements are so the emotional payoff lands. Small structural tweaks (reordering reveals, amplifying sensory detail at key beats, and clarifying stakes) will convert atmosphere into dramatic momentum without losing the screenplay’s melancholic tone.
Correlations
Identifies patterns in scene scores.
Your strongest scene (Scene 4) demonstrates that when you pair an explicitly emotional tone with clearly elevated, demonstrable stakes, the script lands hardest. Lean into that formula: make emotional moments earn their weight by raising tangible personal or external consequences, and ensure dialogue always advances the plot or reveals character purpose. Tighten earlier scenes so they build toward that high-stakes emotional payoff rather than merely setting atmosphere.
Pass / Consider / Recommend Analysis
Top Takeaways from This Section
AreasOfImprovement > Causal ambiguity / Ambiguity vs. clarity balance
Insight: Decide and signal whether the well and Mrs. Craven are literally supernatural or metaphorical. If literal, establish consistent “rules” (how and when she reacts to coins, limits of the well’s power, a mid-story demonstration of consequence). If metaphorical, reframe scenes so they read as human grief and social culpability—replace spooky hints with concrete town behavior that ties to the foreman’s death. Remove or rework the microfilm info‑dump by turning the backstory into an active reveal (a document Emily finds while sneaking into a closed office, a living witness who refuses to talk, or Mrs. Craven showing a physical artifact).
Why: Clarifying the causal logic gives the audience and festival readers understandable stakes and prevents the script from reading indecisive; it also makes emotional beats land and allows production choices (sound, effects, acting) to support a coherent tone.
AreasOfImprovement > Passive protagonist resolution / Passive protagonist resolution
Insight: Make Emily’s ending a visible, risky choice rather than a quiet, reactive gesture. Options: have her confront Mr. Kent or other townspeople with the newspaper evidence; publicly place the coin while calling out the foreman’s name; refuse to participate in the kids’ mock ritual and demand the town remember; or physically recover an artifact from the well. Ensure the action has a cost (social backlash, personal risk, exposing a lie) so her remorse becomes agency.
Why: Shorts live and die on clear, decisive character arcs. A tangible, costly choice will produce a stronger emotional payoff for viewers and readers and transform Emily from an observer to an agent of change—exactly the element competition readers prize.
R
GPT5
Executive Summary
The Wishing Well is a tightly written short with a strong central metaphor (the well/coin motif) and a haunting period atmosphere that immediately establishes tone and stakes. Its main strength is an emotionally resonant central arc: a bullied/isolated teen (Emily) discovers the human cost beneath a town’s casual cruelty and is confronted by a grieving figure (Mrs. Craven) who demands memory instead of mockery. The script is cinematic, economical and well suited to festival programming, but it needs moderate revisions: clarify the causal logic between the children’s wish and the town’s haunting, sharpen Mrs. Craven’s motivation and presence, and strengthen Emily’s active choice at the end so the emotional payoff lands for a competition reader/audience. With those changes the short can move from a promising piece to a standout festival short.
Strengths
- A strong, immediate visual hook and motif — the well and the CLINK of coins — give the script a clear, memorable image to build around. The opening establishes mood, period and theme economically. high ( Scene 1 (EXT. HILLTOP – DAWN (1985)) Scene 2 (EXT. THE WELL – MOMENTS LATER) )
- Mrs. Craven is emotionally compelling: her quiet rage and grief provide real human stakes to the supernatural suggestion. The confrontations are intimate and emotionally resonant — well-suited to short film performance. high ( Scene 3 (INT. SCHOOL BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS) Scene 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – NIGHT) )
- Period detail and economical writing (Walkmans, cassette tapes, posters) root the story in a specific time and texture, helping audience immersion without exposition-heavy lines. medium ( Scene 1 (EXT. HILLTOP – DAWN (1985)) Scene 3 (INT. EMILY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT) )
- The script uses sound and visual motifs (CLINK, coins, fog, light flicker) consistently to build atmosphere and signal beats — a smart cinematic choice for a short. medium ( Scene 2 (EXT. THE WELL – MOMENTS LATER) Scene 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – DAWN) )
- Economical structure: the script tells a compact story in a handful of scenes that are mostly visual and show-don't-tell — ideal for a short film format. medium
Areas of Improvement
- Causal ambiguity: the script hints that Emily's wish and the town's haunting are connected, but the mechanics and stakes of this link are fuzzy. Is Mrs. Craven supernatural? Is the well active? Clarify (or consciously leave ambiguous) the rules so the audience understands whether Emily is accidentally complicit or merely a witness. high ( Scene 2 (EXT. THE WELL – MOMENTS LATER) Scene 3 (INT. SCHOOL BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS) Scene 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – NIGHT) )
- Exposition via microfilm is functional but feels like a mini info-dump. Consider weaving the backstory organically into action or Mrs. Craven’s dialogue to avoid slowing the middle of the film. medium ( Scene 4 (INT. TOWN LIBRARY – RAINY AFTERNOON) )
- Emily’s arc needs a stronger active decision. She learns the truth and expresses remorse, but the final act — her placing the coin — feels passive; strengthen the choice so she actively reclaims responsibility rather than simply reacting. high ( Scene 3 (INT. SCHOOL BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS) Scene 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – DAWN) )
- Supporting characters (Mr. Kent, other townspeople, the other kids) are thin — giving at least one non-expository moment that reflects the town's culpability would deepen the moral stakes. medium
- The ending is atmospherically ambiguous but may read as underpowered for competition judges expecting a clearer emotional payoff or twist. Consider sharpening the final image to reveal consequence or transformation more plainly. high ( Scene 4 (EXT. MRS. CRAVEN’S HOUSE – SAME TIME) )
Missing Elements
- Concrete details about the accident and the cover-up (legal outcome, Mr. Kent's role) are sketched but not dramatized — a short visual beat showing the town's complicity beyond a photo would enhance moral clarity. high ( Scene 4 (INT. TOWN LIBRARY – RAINY AFTERNOON) )
- A mid-story beat that shows consequences for others (a subtle town effect, unexplained accidents, or a second coin-related moment) is missing. This would help establish that the well/coins carry weight beyond mood. medium ( Scene 2 (EXT. THE WELL – MOMENTS LATER) )
- Clearer rules for the supernatural or confirmation of whether Mrs. Craven is a living person, a ghost, or an archetype. The script can choose ambiguity as a theme, but it should be controlled. high
- Personal stakes for Emily beyond her parents' argument — a smaller, personal detail (a family photo, a scar, an object) would increase audience empathy and justify her transformation. medium ( Scene 3 (INT. EMILY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT) )
- A stronger culminating visual or audio payoff linked to the CLINK motif (e.g., an audible cascade or a revealed object) to make the final sound meaningful rather than decorative. medium
Notable Points
- The opening's time and place immediately read — announcing 1985 through props and texture is an efficient way to situate the story and attract period-focused programmers. medium ( Scene 1 (EXT. HILLTOP – DAWN (1985)) )
- CLINK as a recurring audio motif works well and can be used in production to tie scenes together; it's a useful tool for sound design and editing in a short. high ( Scene 2 (EXT. THE WELL – MOMENTS LATER) Scene 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – DAWN) )
- The restroom confrontation is a rich, low-budget-friendly moment that should be emphasized in direction/acting — it's where character and theme meet crisply. high ( Scene 3 (INT. SCHOOL BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS) )
- The final flicker-out of the porch light and shadow is a neat, ambiguous closing image that can split audiences — useful for festivals that prize lingering endings, but risky for some competition readers. medium ( Scene 4 (EXT. MRS. CRAVEN’S HOUSE – SAME TIME) )
- Overall, the screenplay is highly shootable on a modest short budget — few locations, small cast, visual moments rather than VFX — increasing its production viability. medium
Blind Spots
- Ambiguity vs. clarity balance The writer favors implication and atmosphere over sharply defined causal mechanics (e.g., how wishes, the well, and Mrs. Craven relate). This risks confusing readers who expect a concise narrative logic in a short. Example: the script implies the well is 'active' and that Mrs. Craven 'listens' when a coin drops, but never establishes whether she is alive/ghostly or how the town’s cover-up plays into the supernatural element. high
- Underdeveloped supporting cast Secondary characters exist mainly to signal the town’s guilt (Mr. Kent, other kids) but lack scenes that make that complicity feel lived-in. This makes the moral accusation feel broad rather than personally earned. Example: Mr. Kent is present at the ribbon-cutting and then a guilty smile — but we don't see a moment where he chooses to conceal or defend the foreman. medium
Amateur Giveaways
- Exposition-heavy information delivery The library microfilm scene functions as a 'tell' to convey backstory rather than dramatizing it. It reads like a convenient info-dump, which is common in less experienced scripts. Example: headlines and photos deliver the core history instead of a small revealing interaction or visual flashback. medium
- Passive protagonist resolution Emily’s resolution feels reactive rather than the result of a clear, active choice. In short-form storytelling, protagonists need crisp, visible agency to deliver emotional payoff. Example: kneeling and whispering a wish while placing the coin is emotionally fine but doesn't clearly demonstrate a hard choice or risk. high
- Ambiguous genre rules without deliberate framing If ambiguity is intended as thematic, it needs framing. Otherwise it looks like indecision about tone/genre. The script flips between human drama and supernatural suggestion without establishing whether the haunting is literal or metaphorical. medium
R
Grok
Executive Summary
The screenplay for 'The Wishing Well' is a tightly woven short drama that effectively explores themes of loss, memory, and empathy through a simple yet poignant narrative. It features strong character development, consistent thematic elements, and efficient pacing, making it a compelling piece for low-budget productions or festivals, though it could benefit from deeper secondary character arcs and more nuanced dialogue.
Strengths
- The atmospheric setting and mood effectively build tension and nostalgia, immersing the audience in the 1985 small-town environment with vivid descriptions and sound elements. high ( Scene 1 (EXT. HILLTOP – DAWN and EXT. SMALL TOWN STREET – MORNING) Scene 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – NIGHT and EXT. HILLTOP – DAWN) )
- Emily's character arc from carefree teenager to empathetic individual is well-developed, showing growth through her interactions and reflections on the well's history. high ( Scene 1 (EXT. SMALL TOWN STREET – MORNING) Scene 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – NIGHT) )
- The thematic depth on memory and loss is handled with sensitivity, culminating in a powerful emotional payoff that ties the story together. high ( Scene 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – NIGHT) )
- Dialogue is concise and purposeful, advancing the plot and revealing character motivations without unnecessary exposition. medium ( Scene 2 (EXT. THE WELL – MOMENTS LATER) Scene 3 (INT. SCHOOL BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS) )
- The use of recurring sound motifs, like the CLINK, provides symbolic cohesion and enhances the overall narrative flow. medium
Areas of Improvement
- Secondary characters like Tommy and Jenny lack depth and could be given more distinct personalities or motivations to enrich the story. medium ( Scene 1 (EXT. SMALL TOWN STREET – MORNING) Scene 2 (EXT. THE WELL – MOMENTS LATER) )
- Some emotional beats feel rushed, potentially benefiting from additional scenes to build tension and allow for more gradual character development. medium
- The resolution is somewhat abrupt, with the fade out leaving ambiguity that might confuse audiences; clearer closure could strengthen the ending. medium ( Scene 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – DAWN) )
- Dialogue can be on-the-nose and expository, reducing realism; more subtle or indirect delivery could improve authenticity. low ( Scene 3 (INT. SCHOOL BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS) Scene 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – NIGHT) )
- Visual descriptions are functional but could be more vivid and sensory to heighten immersion in the setting. low
Missing Elements
- A deeper exploration of the town's collective guilt or role in the tragedy could add layers to the themes of memory and societal oversight. medium
- Emily's family situation, hinted at through her wish and parents' argument, is underdeveloped and could be fleshed out to strengthen her motivation. medium ( Scene 3 (INT. EMILY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT) )
- A clearer antagonist or external conflict beyond Mrs. Craven's internal grief might heighten tension and drive the narrative forward. low
- Potential for a subplot, such as involving other townspeople or the well's history earlier, to provide more complexity without extending length. low
- More explicit supernatural elements could clarify the ambiguous tone, helping to define whether the well is truly cursed or symbolic. low
Notable Points
- The 1985 setting evokes nostalgia and grounds the story in a specific era, enhancing the thematic elements of a 'stuck in time' town. medium ( Scene 1 (EXT. HILLTOP – DAWN) )
- The well serves as a powerful symbol for wishes, loss, and memory, recurring effectively throughout the screenplay. high ( Scene 2 (EXT. THE WELL – MOMENTS LATER) Scene 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – NIGHT) )
- The emotional payoff in the resolution provides a satisfying arc closure, emphasizing themes of empathy and remembrance. high ( Scene 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – DAWN) )
- The screenplay's conciseness is a strength for a short format, delivering a complete story in limited sequences without feeling padded. medium
- Foreshadowing through the CLINK sound and Mrs. Craven's appearances builds suspense and connects scenes cohesively. medium ( Scene 1 (EXT. HILLTOP – DAWN) Scene 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – NIGHT) )
Blind Spots
- Emotional Depth The writer may undervalue subtler emotional expressions; for example, Emily's response to her parents' argument in Sequence 3 is shown through action but lacks internal reflection or nuanced facial cues, potentially missing opportunities to deepen audience connection. medium
- World-Building There is a tendency to keep the town setting generic, with only surface-level details (e.g., faded storefronts in Sequence 1), which could be expanded with more specific cultural or historical elements to make the environment feel more lived-in and immersive. low
Amateur Giveaways
- Formatting The use of 'Sequence number' headings instead of standard scene headings throughout the screenplay feels non-professional, as industry scripts typically use continuous scene slugs without prefixed numbers, which might signal inexperience. low
- Dialogue Some lines, such as Mrs. Craven's direct exposition in Sequence 3 and 4 (e.g., 'He died right here. The concrete gave out.'), come across as overly explanatory and less natural, a common amateur trait that can make dialogue feel forced rather than organic. medium
R
DeepSeek
Executive Summary
The Wishing Well is a compelling supernatural drama that effectively blends coming-of-age themes with small-town mystery. The screenplay demonstrates strong atmospheric world-building and a poignant central metaphor about grief and memory. Emily's character arc from careless teenager to empathetic young adult is well-executed, though some supporting characters could benefit from deeper development. The pacing is generally effective for a short film, with the mystery unfolding at an engaging rate while maintaining emotional resonance.
Strengths
- Strong atmospheric world-building that establishes the small-town setting and supernatural tone from the opening scene high ( Scene Sequence number 1 (EXT. HILLTOP – DAWN) Scene Sequence number 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – NIGHT) )
- Powerful emotional climax with authentic dialogue that resolves the central conflict while maintaining thematic depth high ( Scene Sequence number 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – NIGHT) )
- Effective use of visual storytelling and symbolism (water dripping like coins, Mrs. Craven's appearances) to reinforce themes medium ( Scene Sequence number 3 (INT. SCHOOL BATHROOM) Scene Sequence number 3 (INT. EMILY'S BEDROOM) )
- Consistent and meaningful sound design (coin CLINKs) that serves both atmospheric and thematic purposes throughout medium ( Scene Sequence number 2 (EXT. THE WELL) Scene Sequence number 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – NIGHT) )
- Efficient exposition delivery through microfilm sequence that reveals backstory without heavy-handed dialogue medium ( Scene Sequence number 4 (INT. TOWN LIBRARY) )
Areas of Improvement
- Underdeveloped supporting teenage characters (Tommy, Jenny) who serve primarily as plot devices rather than fully realized individuals medium ( Scene Sequence number 1 (EXT. SMALL TOWN STREET) Scene Sequence number 2 (EXT. THE WELL) )
- Mr. Kent's character and the town's collective guilt could be more deeply explored to strengthen the thematic weight medium ( Scene Sequence number 3 (EXT. MAIN STREET) )
- Emily's home life and parental conflict feels somewhat disconnected from the main narrative and could be better integrated low ( Scene Sequence number 3 (INT. EMILY'S BEDROOM) )
Missing Elements
- Lack of clear rules or limitations for the supernatural elements - the mechanics of how the well 'works' remain ambiguous low ( Scene Sequence number 2 (EXT. THE WELL) )
- Missing emotional resolution for Mrs. Craven's character arc - her final state and emotional journey conclusion isn't fully clear medium ( Scene Sequence number 4 (EXT. MRS. CRAVEN'S HOUSE) )
Notable Points
- Effective bookending structure that begins and ends at dawn, creating a circular narrative that emphasizes transformation high ( Scene Sequence number 1 (EXT. HILLTOP – DAWN) Scene Sequence number 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – DAWN) )
- Strong visual contrast between Emily's youthful world and Mrs. Craven's grim reality enhances thematic tension medium ( Scene Sequence number 3 (INT. SCHOOL BATHROOM) )
- The final wish transformation from selfish desire to empathetic remembrance demonstrates excellent character growth high ( Scene Sequence number 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – NIGHT) )
Blind Spots
- Supporting Character Development The writer focuses intensely on Emily and Mrs. Craven but underdevelops the teenage friends and townspeople, missing opportunities to deepen the thematic exploration of collective memory and community responsibility. medium
- Supernatural Mechanics The script introduces supernatural elements (Mrs. Craven's knowledge of wishes, the well's responsiveness) without establishing clear rules, which could create consistency issues in a longer format. low
Amateur Giveaways
- Expository Dialogue Some dialogue, particularly Mrs. Craven's explanation of her husband's death in Sequence 4, leans slightly toward exposition rather than natural character revelation. low
- Parental Subplot Integration Emily's home conflict with arguing parents feels somewhat disconnected from the main narrative, suggesting a common amateur tendency to include character background without full integration. low
C
Gemini
Executive Summary
The short screenplay 'The Wishing Well' presents a compelling thematic core concerning grief, memory, and the consequences of superficiality. Its strengths lie in its atmospheric setting and potent, albeit brief, character interactions, particularly Emily's arc from dismissive teen to remorseful individual. However, the narrative suffers from pacing issues in its middle section and a lack of deeper exploration of supporting characters and their motivations. With moderate revisions, primarily focused on enriching character depth and refining the narrative flow, this script has the potential to be a strong contender.
Strengths
- The screenplay masterfully establishes atmosphere and mood from the opening sequence. The description of the 'quiet mill town,' the 'overgrown well,' and the 'faint clink' immediately draws the reader into a world that is both nostalgic and tinged with melancholy, effectively setting the stage for the story's themes. high ( Scene 1 )
- Emily's character arc, though nascent, is a significant strength. Her initial dismissiveness towards the well quickly transitions to curiosity and then to profound empathy and guilt after her encounter with Mrs. Craven. This shift, particularly in Scene 3, showcases a clear emotional journey, suggesting a character capable of growth. high ( Scene 3 )
- The thematic resonance concerning the superficiality of wishes versus the weight of true remembrance is powerfully conveyed. Mrs. Craven's poignant dialogue about the 'quarter and a wish' and Emily's final wish to 'remember him' distill the script's core message with emotional impact. high ( Scene 4 )
- The introduction of Mrs. Craven as a spectral, yet grounded, presence is an effective narrative device. Her quiet observation and cryptic warnings add an element of mystery and foreboding, making her interactions with Emily pivotal to the plot's emotional and thematic development. medium ( Scene 2 Scene 3 )
- The resolution, while subtle, provides a sense of closure and thematic fulfillment. Emily's final act of placing the quarter with a sincere wish for remembrance, and the ambiguous closing of Mrs. Craven's house, leaves a lasting impression and reinforces the script's message. medium ( Scene 4 )
Areas of Improvement
- The pacing in the middle section, particularly between Emily's return from the well and her investigation in the library, feels somewhat abrupt. While the discovery of the newspaper headline is crucial, the transition could be smoother, perhaps allowing more time for Emily's internal processing or a more organic discovery. medium ( Scene 3 )
- While Tommy, Jenny, and Emily's friends serve their purpose as catalysts, their characters are underdeveloped. Expanding slightly on their dynamics and motivations could further ground Emily's initial flippancy and make the impact of the story on her more profound by contrast. medium ( Scene 1 Scene 2 )
- Mr. Kent's reaction of guilt upon Mrs. Craven passing is intriguing but briefly handled. A slightly more developed interaction or a clearer visual cue of his internal conflict could add another layer to the town's collective guilt and Mrs. Craven's isolation. low ( Scene 3 )
- The transition from the lighthearted beginning to the stark reality of Mrs. Craven's grief could be more gradual. While the contrast is effective, a slightly longer build-up of the town's oppressive atmosphere might enhance the impact of Emily's realization. low ( Scene 3 )
Missing Elements
- The exact nature of Mrs. Craven's 'new parents' wish is left ambiguous. While it's implied her husband was her family, clarifying this connection earlier could make her subsequent grief and anger more immediately resonant to the audience. medium ( Scene 2 )
- While Mrs. Craven's dialogue is powerful, the script could benefit from a brief visual or narrative indication of her ongoing struggles beyond her role as a janitor. This would further emphasize the long-term impact of her loss on her life. medium ( Scene 4 )
- The resolution regarding the well's partial collapse is a bit convenient. While it serves the plot by providing a physical manifestation of the past's instability, a slightly more grounded explanation for the collapse could enhance the realism of the supernatural undertones. low ( Scene 4 )
Notable Points
- The recurring motif of the 'clink' sound is used effectively throughout the screenplay, symbolizing the act of wishing, the settling of fate, and the echoes of the past. It serves as a consistent auditory reminder of the central theme. high ( Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 3 Scene 4 )
- The screenplay's setting in 1985 is well-established through visual cues like 'denim jackets,' 'Walkman headphones,' and the '80s bedroom,' contributing to the nostalgic and 'stuck in time' feel of the town. medium ( Scene 1 )
- The juxtaposition of Emily's teenage life (music, posters) with the harsh realities of Mrs. Craven's existence (janitor's uniform, hollow eyes) is stark and effective in highlighting the script's thematic contrast between youthful ignorance and the weight of lived experience. medium ( Scene 3 )
Blind Spots
- Subtlety vs. Clarity While the script aims for subtlety, some plot points, like the exact reason for the well collapse or the full impact of Mrs. Craven's loss on her current life, are quite understated. For an intermediate screenwriter aiming for a competition, ensuring these key elements are clear enough for the audience to grasp without over-explaining can be a challenge. For example, the link between Emily's wish and Mrs. Craven's husband's death could be more explicitly, yet still subtly, foreshadowed. medium
- Show, Don't Tell The script relies on dialogue to convey a lot of the emotional weight and exposition, particularly in Scene 4 with Mrs. Craven's monologue. While effective, an intermediate writer might benefit from exploring ways to *show* these emotions and past events more visually through action or character interaction, rather than solely through direct explanation. medium
Amateur Giveaways
- Slightly too much exposition delivered directly In Scene 4, Mrs. Craven's explanation to Emily feels a bit like a direct exposition dump ('He died right here. The concrete gave out. They blamed him. Buried him. And the town kept on wishing.'). While necessary for the plot, an intermediate writer could look for opportunities to weave this information more organically into the conversation or through visual cues, perhaps by having Emily discover more concrete evidence herself. low
- Underdeveloped supporting characters Tommy and Jenny, while functional, are primarily plot devices to initiate Emily's action. An intermediate screenwriter might consider giving them slightly more distinct personalities or motivations beyond just being 'friends' to make their interactions feel more grounded and Emily's eventual break from them more impactful. low
C
Claude
Executive Summary
The screenplay for 'The Wishing Well' is a poignant and introspective short film that explores the themes of grief, community, and the power of memory. While the narrative is well-structured and the characters are compelling, the screenplay could benefit from further development in certain areas to enhance its overall impact. The unique setting and the exploration of the town's history provide a strong foundation, and with some targeted revisions, this screenplay has the potential to be a compelling and thought-provoking piece.
Strengths
- The opening sequences effectively establish the setting and introduce the central conflict, drawing the audience into the story through the use of vivid imagery and subtle foreshadowing. high ( Scene 1 (EXT. HILLTOP – DAWN (1985)) Scene 2 (EXT. THE WELL – MOMENTS LATER) )
- The screenplay effectively develops the character of Emily, providing insight into her emotional state and her growing understanding of the town's history. high ( Scene 3 (INT. SCHOOL BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS) Scene 4 (INT. TOWN LIBRARY – RAINY AFTERNOON) )
- The confrontation between Emily and Mrs. Craven is a powerful and emotionally charged scene that delves into the town's past and the impact of the tragedy. high ( Scene 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – NIGHT) )
Areas of Improvement
- The scene with the teenagers at the well could be expanded to provide more depth and nuance to their characters and their relationship with the town's history. medium ( Scene 2 (EXT. THE WELL – MOMENTS LATER) )
- The transition between the carefree morning and Emily's somber mood in the school hallway could be strengthened to better convey the emotional shift. medium ( Scene 3 (INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY – DAY) )
- The final scene at Mrs. Craven's house could be expanded to provide a more definitive resolution or to further explore the character's emotional journey. medium ( Scene 4 (EXT. MRS. CRAVEN'S HOUSE – SAME TIME) )
Missing Elements
- The screenplay could benefit from more explicit connections between the teenagers' actions at the well and the town's history, to better establish the thematic significance of their behavior. medium ( Scene 2 (EXT. THE WELL – MOMENTS LATER) )
- The inclusion of a scene exploring Emily's home life and her relationship with her parents could provide additional context and depth to her character arc. medium ( Scene 3 (INT. EMILY'S BEDROOM – NIGHT) )
Notable Points
- The use of the well as a central metaphor and the way it connects the past and present of the town is a compelling narrative device that could be further explored. high ( Scene 1 (EXT. HILLTOP – DAWN (1985)) Scene 4 (EXT. HILLTOP – NIGHT) )
- The subtle, almost ghostly presence of Mrs. Craven throughout the town adds an intriguing layer of mystery and tension to the narrative. high ( Scene 3 (INT. SCHOOL BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS) Scene 4 (EXT. MAIN STREET – AFTERNOON) )
Blind Spots
- Character Development While the screenplay effectively develops the character of Emily, the other characters, particularly the teenagers and the town residents, could benefit from more depth and nuance. The screenplay could explore their motivations, backstories, and relationships in greater detail to create a more well-rounded and compelling ensemble. medium
Amateur Giveaways
- Pacing The pacing of the screenplay is generally strong, but there are a few instances where the transitions between scenes could be tightened or the emotional beats could be more effectively highlighted. For example, the transition from the carefree morning at the well to Emily's somber mood in the school hallway could be strengthened to better convey the emotional shift. medium
Summary
High-level overview
Title: The Wishing Well
Summary: Set in a small mill town in 1985, "The Wishing Well" follows a group of four adventurous teenagers—Tommy, Emily, Jenny, and an unnamed friend—who stumble upon an overgrown well during a carefree bike ride. As they toss coins into the well, Emily humorously wishes for "new parents," prompting youthful laughter but subtly hinting at deeper familial issues. The atmosphere shifts when Emily encounters the town's janitor, Mrs. Craven, whose troubling presence and cryptic words about wishes creates an unsettling tone.
As the narrative unfolds, Emily grapples with isolation in her school environment while the friction between her and her parents escalates. During a chilling nighttime encounter, Mrs. Craven reveals tragic backstory linked to the well, exposing her husband’s unjust death during its construction and the town’s neglect over the years. Their poignant exchange leads Emily to reflect on her wish, and she apologizes for her earlier insensitivity.
The final scenes interweave threads of grief, remembrance, and unresolved mystery as Emily visits the library, unearthing news of the past that further connects her to Mrs. Craven’s heartbreak. The film concludes with Emily throwing a quarter into the well at dawn, whispering a heartfelt wish for remembrance as hints of the supernatural linger, and an ambiguous shadow emerges from Mrs. Craven's house.
Filled with elements of nostalgia, adventure, and a haunting exploration of loss, "The Wishing Well" captures the bittersweet essence of childhood wishes intertwined with the realities of life.
The Wishing Well
Synopsis
Set in a sleepy mill town in 1985, The Wishing Well unfolds as a haunting tale of curiosity, loss, and redemption. The story centers on a group of teenagers who stumble upon an abandoned well on a hilltop, a relic of the town's forgotten past that holds more power than they realize. As the first light of dawn breaks over the quiet streets, the air is thick with nostalgia and unease, drawing viewers into a world where childhood innocence collides with deeper, supernatural forces.
The narrative kicks off with four friends—Tommy, Emily, Jenny, and another—riding their bikes through the faded storefronts of their small town. Emily, a introspective 14-year-old grappling with family troubles, takes the lead in their adventure to the well. Amid laughter and bravado, they make lighthearted wishes, tossing coins into the depths. Emily's wish for new parents hints at her troubled home life, but the moment is undercut by a subtle, ominous clink echoing from below, foreshadowing the well's dark history. Unbeknownst to them, an elderly woman, Mrs. Craven, watches from the shadows of her home, her presence adding a layer of mystery and foreboding.
As the days unfold, Emily's world begins to unravel. At school, she has a chilling encounter with Mrs. Craven, the town's janitor, who cryptically references Emily's wish. This interaction plants seeds of doubt and fear, amplified by Emily's volatile home environment, where her parents' arguments create a sense of isolation. The story builds tension through atmospheric details, like the sound of dripping water echoing like falling coins and Mrs. Craven's ghostly appearances, blending psychological realism with supernatural elements. Emily starts to question the well's influence, feeling a growing connection to the pain it represents.
Driven by curiosity and a need for answers, Emily delves into the town's history at the local library, uncovering newspaper clippings that reveal the well's tragic past. Decades earlier, Mrs. Craven's husband died in a collapse at the site, an event blamed on him and quickly forgotten by the community. This discovery humanizes Mrs. Craven and exposes the town's collective guilt, embodied by figures like Mr. Kent, the hardware store owner, who was involved in the incident. Emily's research marks a turning point, shifting her from carefree adolescence to a deeper awareness of how casual actions can inflict lasting harm.
The climax builds on a rainy night when Emily confronts Mrs. Craven at the well. Amidst the drizzle and fog, Mrs. Craven shares her grief, revealing how the townspeople's wishes trivialize her husband's death. This emotional exchange forces Emily to confront her own thoughtlessness, leading to a moment of catharsis. In a redemptive act, Emily makes a new wish—not for herself, but to honor the memory of Mrs. Craven's loss. As the well partially collapses, symbolizing the release of buried pain, the story hints at closure, with Mrs. Craven's house falling silent and the town's unspoken secrets beginning to fade.
Throughout, The Wishing Well explores themes of empathy, memory, and the consequences of ignoring history. The story arc follows Emily's transformation from a detached teenager to a compassionate individual, using the well as a metaphor for unhealed wounds. With its 1980s setting evoking a sense of nostalgia through details like Walkmans and vintage posters, the screenplay crafts a compact yet profound narrative that lingers, blending everyday realism with subtle supernatural intrigue. Clocking in as a short film, it delivers a powerful emotional punch, leaving audiences with a sense of reflection on the power of words and wishes in shaping lives.
Scene by Scene Summaries
Scene by Scene Summaries
- At dawn in a quiet 1985 mill town, four teenagers—Tommy, Emily, Jenny, and an unnamed friend—embark on a playful biking adventure. As they coast through the sleepy streets, Tommy teases Emily about her bravery, prompting her to confidently accept a challenge. With a grin, Emily kicks down her bike stand and begins pedaling up a dirt path toward a mysterious overgrown well, setting the tone for youthful exploration and camaraderie.
- A group of children, including Tommy, Emily, and Jenny, gather around an old well on a hill, engaging in playful antics by dropping coins and making wishes. Emily humorously wishes for new parents, prompting laughter from her friends. As they race down the hill, the scene shifts to Mrs. Craven, a woman in a nearby house, who silently observes the children, hinting at a deeper connection to their playful innocence.
- In a tense school hallway, Emily feels isolated as she encounters Mrs. Craven, the janitor, in a dim restroom. Their cryptic exchange leaves Emily unsettled, prompting her to flee. The scene shifts to a slow-moving town where Mrs. Craven's silent presence evokes guilt in Mr. Kent, a local store owner. Later, in Emily's 80s-style bedroom, she tries to drown out her parents' harsh arguing with music, only to spot Mrs. Craven standing ominously under a streetlight, vanishing with a flash of lightning. The atmosphere is eerie and suspenseful, heightening the sense of foreboding.
- In the final scene, Emily discovers a haunting newspaper article about a local foreman's death in a well collapse, leading her to confront Mrs. Craven, the widow, on a rainy hilltop. Mrs. Craven reveals her bitterness over the town's disregard for her husband's memory and the irony of their wishing tradition. After an emotional exchange, Emily honors the foreman by placing a coin at the well, while the scene shifts to dawn, where the well is taped off due to a partial collapse. The scene ends ambiguously with a flickering porch light at Mrs. Craven's house and the sound of a coin dropping, leaving a lingering sense of mystery.
Copied to clipboard!
📊 Script Snapshot
7.71
What's Working
Theme
8.6
The screenplay's use of the well as a central symbol effectively ties together themes of wishes, loss, and remembrance, creating a cohesive narrative...
Visual Impact
8
The screenplay's use of atmospheric details and sensory elements, such as the faint clink of coins and shifting light, creates a strong sense of myste...
Where to Focus
Characters
7.4
Tommy and Jenny's arcs are underdeveloped in the script compared to their descriptions, with little shown progression or internal conflict, which dimi...
Emotional Impact
7.6
Secondary characters like Tommy and Jenny lack sufficient emotional depth and screen time to fully realize their described arcs, resulting in uneven a...
Script-Level Percentile Chart
📊 Understanding Your Percentile Rankings
Your scores are compared against professional produced screenplays in our vault (The Matrix, Breaking Bad, etc.). The percentile shows where you rank compared to these films.
Example: A score of 8.5 in Originality might be 85th percentile (strong!), while the same 8.5 in Conflict might only be 50th percentile (needs work). The percentile tells you what your raw scores actually mean.
💡
Hover over each axis on the radar chart to see what that category measures and why it matters.
Characters
7.4
The screenplay 'The Wishing Well' demonstrates solid character development, particularly in its protagonist Emily and th...
Analysis: The screenplay 'The Wishing Well' demonstrates solid character development, particularly in its protagonist Emily and the enigmatic Mrs. Craven, who undergo meaningful transformations that enhance the narrative's emotional depth and thematic resonance. Strengths lie in relatable teenage dynamics and a compelling antagonist arc, but areas for improvement include underdeveloped secondary characters like Tommy and Jenny, whose arcs are described but not fully realized in the script. With moderate revisions, this could significantly boost audience engagement and competitive appeal.
Key Strengths
- Emily's arc is compelling and well-executed, transforming her from a confident, defiant teenager to a reflective individual who confronts her actions and shows empathy, which strongly engages the audience and ties into themes of personal growth and regret.
Areas to Improve
- Tommy and Jenny's arcs are underdeveloped in the script compared to their descriptions, with little shown progression or internal conflict, which diminishes audience engagement and the overall narrative depth.
Premise
7.9
The screenplay effectively establishes a compelling premise centered on a mysterious wishing well tied to a tragic past,...
Analysis: The screenplay effectively establishes a compelling premise centered on a mysterious wishing well tied to a tragic past, blending youthful adventure with supernatural elements to create intrigue and emotional depth. Key areas for enhancement include refining the originality of the supernatural aspects and deepening thematic exploration to heighten audience engagement, especially given the writer's intermediate skill level and goal of entering competitions where unique hooks are crucial.
Key Strengths
- The premise effectively sets up an intriguing mystery with the wishing well's supernatural elements, creating immediate curiosity and emotional investment through the contrast between youthful innocence and hidden tragedy.
Areas to Improve
- The supernatural elements, particularly Mrs. Craven's appearances, could be more clearly defined to avoid ambiguity, which might confuse audiences and dilute the premise's impact in a competitive context.
Structure
7.6
The screenplay 'The Wishing Well' effectively uses a concise, four-scene structure to build a mysterious and emotionally...
Analysis: The screenplay 'The Wishing Well' effectively uses a concise, four-scene structure to build a mysterious and emotionally resonant story, with strong thematic integration and a satisfying resolution. Strengths include vivid atmospheric descriptions and character-driven plot progression, particularly for Emily and Mrs. Craven. Key areas for improvement involve deepening secondary character arcs and smoothing pacing transitions to enhance narrative clarity and engagement, which could boost its competitiveness in festivals or contests.
Key Strengths
- The use of recurring sound motifs, like the coin clinks, effectively builds suspense and ties the scenes together, creating a cohesive atmosphere that enhances narrative tension and thematic depth.
Theme
8.6
The screenplay 'The Wishing Well' effectively conveys themes of empathy, remembrance, and the unintended consequences of...
Analysis: The screenplay 'The Wishing Well' effectively conveys themes of empathy, remembrance, and the unintended consequences of trivializing others' pain, with strong emotional resonance and clear integration into character arcs. Strengths include its poignant exploration of universal human experiences and a mysterious tone that engages audiences, while areas for improvement involve adding subtlety to thematic delivery to avoid occasional didacticism, enhancing its competitive edge.
Key Strengths
- The screenplay's use of the well as a central symbol effectively ties together themes of wishes, loss, and remembrance, creating a cohesive narrative that deepens emotional impact and intellectual engagement. This symbolism is particularly strong in driving Emily's arc, fostering audience empathy and highlighting the universal message that actions have unintended consequences.
Areas to Improve
- Some dialogues, particularly Mrs. Craven's cryptic lines, feel overly explicit and didactic, potentially reducing the subtlety of theme exploration and risking audience disengagement. Refining these could make the messages more implicit and powerful, allowing for greater emotional nuance.
Visual Impact
8.0
The screenplay for 'The Wishing Well' excels in creating a nostalgic, mysterious atmosphere through evocative visual des...
Analysis: The screenplay for 'The Wishing Well' excels in creating a nostalgic, mysterious atmosphere through evocative visual descriptions that effectively blend 1980s Americana with themes of loss and curiosity. Its innovative use of recurring motifs, like the clinking coins, adds depth to the visual storytelling, making it a compelling entry for competitions by drawing viewers into a poignant, character-driven narrative.
Key Strengths
- The screenplay's use of atmospheric details and sensory elements, such as the faint clink of coins and shifting light, creates a strong sense of mystery and nostalgia, effectively drawing viewers into the 1985 setting and enhancing the overall emotional depth.
Areas to Improve
- Some scenes lack visual variety, with repetitive use of static descriptions (e.g., the well or Mrs. Craven's appearances), which can reduce dynamism and engagement; suggesting more varied compositions or movements could heighten tension and pacing.
Emotional Impact
7.6
The screenplay 'The Wishing Well' effectively evokes a sense of mystery, regret, and youthful curiosity, with strong emo...
Analysis: The screenplay 'The Wishing Well' effectively evokes a sense of mystery, regret, and youthful curiosity, with strong emotional moments centered on Emily and Mrs. Craven that foster empathy and reflection. However, enhancing character development for secondary figures and expanding emotional variety could deepen its resonance, making it more competitive in screenplay contests by creating a more universal and impactful emotional journey.
Key Strengths
- The screenplay excels in creating a haunting atmosphere that draws audiences into the emotional core, particularly through the motif of the wishing well and the coin clink, which symbolizes unfulfilled desires and regret, fostering a deep sense of mystery and introspection. This is exemplified in Emily's arc, where her initial bravado gives way to vulnerability, making her journey highly relatable and emotionally resonant.
Areas to Improve
- Secondary characters like Tommy and Jenny lack sufficient emotional depth and screen time to fully realize their described arcs, resulting in uneven audience investment; addressing this by adding subtle hints of their internal struggles could enhance overall empathy and make the emotional journey more cohesive.
Conflict
7.6
The screenplay 'The Wishing Well' effectively uses conflict and stakes to build a atmospheric, character-driven narrativ...
Analysis: The screenplay 'The Wishing Well' effectively uses conflict and stakes to build a atmospheric, character-driven narrative centered on themes of grief and memory, with strong emotional resonance in the resolution. However, while the conflict is clear and integrated, the stakes could be elevated for greater tension and urgency, particularly in the early acts, to better propel the story and captivate audiences in a competitive setting.
Key Strengths
- The screenplay excels in building narrative tension through the gradual revelation of Mrs. Craven's backstory, creating a compelling conflict that propels the story from innocent play to profound emotional confrontation. This dynamic keeps the audience engaged by layering mystery and emotional depth, as seen in the effective use of symbolic elements like the well and coins.
Areas to Improve
- Early scenes lack high-stakes conflict, starting with low-tension playful banter that doesn't immediately hook the audience or establish the gravity of the central issue, potentially reducing narrative propulsion and engagement in the opening.
Originality
7.0
The screenplay 'The Wishing Well' demonstrates strong originality and creativity through its atmospheric fusion of 1980s...
Analysis: The screenplay 'The Wishing Well' demonstrates strong originality and creativity through its atmospheric fusion of 1980s nostalgia, subtle supernatural elements, and a poignant exploration of grief and memory, setting it apart with a grounded, character-driven narrative that blends youthful adventure with eerie mystery.
Expand to see detailed analysis
View Complete AnalysisTop Takeaway from This Section
Suggestions: Foreshadow Mrs. Craven earlier
Insight: Add subtle, early foreshadowing of Mrs. Craven in Scene 1 (e.g., a barely seen figure in the periphery, a child murmuring about a 'strange woman', or a recurring visual motif like a lone lamp or coin sound) so her later appearances and cryptic behavior feel integrated rather than sudden.
Why: This is the single biggest fix to improve narrative cohesion and emotional payoff: it builds suspense, makes the reveal credible, and enhances audience investment in Emily's arc without requiring major structural changes.
Screenplay Story Analysis
Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Top Takeaway from This Section
PlotHoles -> wish-granting mechanism
Insight: Clarify the nature and causal rules of the wishing well (literal supernatural force vs. symbolic/community ritual). If supernatural, establish a consistent, limited rule set that explains why Emily’s late actions seemingly correlate with the well’s collapse. If symbolic, remove or reframe any beats that imply literal wish fulfillment and instead focus on emotional consequences. Simultaneously, concretely show how Mrs. Craven becomes aware of Emily’s wish (e.g., a visible detail that places her within earshot, a neighbor who mentions it, or an early hint of her supernatural awareness) so her later interventions feel motivated, not convenient.
Why: This is the story’s spine — without a clear, consistent mechanism the climax and emotional payoff feel arbitrary, undermining audience trust and the script’s thematic payoff. Fixing this will resolve the largest plot hole, make character behavior credible, and preserve the script’s haunting atmosphere while delivering a satisfying, defensible ending.
CharacterInconsistencies
-
Character Mrs. Craven
Description Mrs. Craven's ability to know Emily's specific wish without any established means of overhearing or supernatural explanation feels unjustified and driven by plot needs rather than authentic character behavior. In scene 2, she is shown listening from her house, but the distance and lack of detail make it implausible. In scene 3, her direct confrontation suggests omniscience, which disrupts character realism for an intermediate writer aiming for competition-level coherence.
( Scene 2 (Scene number 2) Scene 3 (Scene number 3) ) -
Character Emily
Description Emily's shift from laughing about the wish in scene 2 to being deeply remorseful and proactive in scene 4 happens abruptly without sufficient character development or internal motivation shown. This change appears more plot-driven to advance the story than organically arising from her personality, which could benefit from moderate revisions to show gradual emotional progression for better authenticity in a competition script.
( Scene 2 (Scene number 2) Scene 4 (Scene number 4) )
StoryInconsistencies
-
Description There is a coherence issue with how Mrs. Craven becomes aware of Emily's wish. The story implies she hears it from a distance in scene 2, but this is not logically consistent with the setting (her house is at the edge of town, while the well is on a hill). This gap could confuse audiences and disrupt narrative flow, suggesting a need for clarification or added details to maintain logical progression.
( Scene 2 (Scene number 2) Scene 3 (Scene number 3) ) -
Description The story introduces ambiguity about the wishing well's properties—whether wishes have real consequences or are symbolic. Emily's first wish in scene 2 has no apparent effect, but her second wish in scene 4 seems tied to the well's collapse, creating an inconsistent magical logic that lacks clear rules. This could be streamlined with moderate changes to ensure the story's thematic elements are coherently presented for a competition audience.
( Scene 4 (Scene number 4) )
PlotHoles
-
Description A significant plot hole exists regarding the mechanism of wish-granting or the well's supernatural elements. Emily's wish for new parents in scene 2 is never addressed, while the well's collapse in scene 4 might imply wish fulfillment, but no consistent rules are established. This undermines the narrative's believability and could alienate viewers, especially in a competition setting where tight plotting is crucial—recommend addressing this with clearer cause-and-effect relationships.
( Scene 2 (Scene number 2) Scene 4 (Scene number 4) ) -
Description The cause of the well's partial collapse is unclear—whether it's due to natural decay, Emily's wish, or something else. This lack of explanation creates a gap in the plot's resolution, making the ending feel arbitrary rather than earned. For an intermediate writer, resolving this would improve narrative closure and prevent the story from feeling contrived.
( Scene 4 (Scene number 4) )
DialogueAuthenticity
-
Description Mrs. Craven's line 'Did you get your wish?' feels inauthentic and overly direct, lacking subtlety for a character portrayed as withdrawn and grieving. It comes across as expository and forced to advance the plot, rather than emerging naturally from her personality. This could be revised to make her dialogue more nuanced and reflective of her emotional state, enhancing authenticity for a competition script.
( Scene 3 (Scene number 3) ) -
Description Mrs. Craven's dialogue, such as 'You all just drop your quarters and laugh. That’s all his life was worth — a quarter and a wish,' is somewhat on-the-nose and repetitive in its emphasis on mockery and loss. While emotionally charged, it may not fully capture the complexity of her character, sounding more like a plot device than organic speech. Moderate rephrasing could make it more conversational and less didactic.
( Scene 4 (Scene number 4) )
Redundancies
-
Element Sound effect (coin clinking)
( Scene 1 (Scene number 1) Scene 2 (Scene number 2) Scene 4 (Scene number 4) )
Suggestion The coin clinking sound is repeated across multiple scenes, which can feel redundant and lessen its impact. Suggest consolidating or varying the sound descriptions (e.g., use it sparingly or combine with visual elements) to avoid repetition and maintain tension, improving narrative efficiency for a concise competition entry. -
Element Laughter
( Scene 1 (Scene number 1) Scene 2 (Scene number 2) )
Suggestion Laughter is mentioned multiple times in the early scenes to convey the teens' lightheartedness, but it becomes redundant. Recommend cutting or integrating it into broader action descriptions to streamline the script, allowing more focus on character development and reducing wordiness, which is beneficial for an intermediate writer's moderate revisions. -
Element Mrs. Craven's appearances
( Scene 2 (Scene number 2) Scene 3 (Scene number 3) Scene 4 (Scene number 4) )
Suggestion Mrs. Craven appears in a similar watchful or confrontational role across scenes, which can feel repetitive. Suggest restructuring by combining elements of her appearances or varying her actions to build tension more dynamically, such as delaying her first direct interaction, to enhance pacing and avoid redundancy in a short script format.
Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:
| Character | Arc | Critique | Suggestions |
|---|---|---|---|
| Tommy | Throughout the short, Tommy begins as a confident instigator, leading his friends into various adventures with a carefree spirit. However, as the story progresses, he faces a situation that tests his bravado and forces him to confront his insecurities. By the end of the short, Tommy learns the importance of vulnerability and authenticity, realizing that true confidence comes from being honest about his fears rather than masking them with humor. This transformation allows him to strengthen his relationships with his friends and embrace a more genuine version of himself. | While Tommy's character is engaging and relatable, the arc could benefit from a clearer moment of realization or a specific event that catalyzes his transformation. In a short screenplay, it is crucial to establish a strong emotional turning point that resonates with the audience. Currently, the arc feels somewhat gradual and may lack the impact needed to convey his growth effectively within the limited timeframe. | To improve Tommy's character arc, consider introducing a pivotal moment where he faces a significant challenge that directly confronts his insecurities. This could be a situation where his bravado leads to unintended consequences, forcing him to reflect on his actions. Additionally, incorporating a key interaction with another character that highlights his vulnerability could enhance the emotional depth of his transformation. This would create a more pronounced contrast between his initial carefree attitude and his eventual acceptance of his true self, making the arc more impactful within the short format. |
| Emily | Emily's character arc follows her transformation from a confident yet defiant girl masking her vulnerabilities to a more self-aware individual who embraces her complexities. Initially, she challenges her friends and seeks adventure, but as she confronts deeper issues, particularly her feelings of isolation and regret, she begins to reflect on her past and her desires for understanding. By the end of the short, Emily learns to accept her emotions and the reality of her situation, finding strength in vulnerability and a sense of connection with others, ultimately leading to a more profound understanding of herself and her relationships. | While Emily's character arc is compelling, it may feel rushed in a short format. The transition from her confident exterior to her introspective self may not have enough time to develop fully, potentially leaving the audience wanting more depth in her emotional journey. The screenplay should ensure that her vulnerabilities are clearly established early on to create a stronger emotional payoff by the end. | To improve Emily's character arc within the constraints of a short screenplay, consider focusing on a single pivotal moment that encapsulates her internal conflict. This could be a confrontation with a friend or a significant event that forces her to confront her feelings. Additionally, using visual storytelling elements, such as her interactions with her environment or symbolic objects, can help convey her emotional journey without relying heavily on dialogue. This approach can create a more impactful and concise character development that resonates with the audience. |
| Jenny | Throughout the short, Jenny begins as a carefree and impulsive teenager, driven by her desire to prove herself and entertain her friends. As the story progresses, she faces a challenge that tests her bravery and decision-making skills. This pivotal moment forces her to confront the consequences of her actions and the importance of responsibility. By the end of the short, Jenny evolves from a naive adventurer into a more thoughtful individual who understands the balance between fun and caution. She learns that true bravery sometimes lies in knowing when to take a step back and consider the impact of her choices on her friends and herself. | While Jenny's character is lively and engaging, her arc could benefit from a clearer conflict that highlights her growth. The transition from innocence to a more mature understanding of responsibility feels somewhat rushed and could be more impactful with additional scenes that showcase her internal struggle. The short format may limit the depth of her character development, making it essential to focus on key moments that illustrate her transformation. | To improve Jenny's character arc within the constraints of a short screenplay, consider incorporating a specific incident that serves as a catalyst for her growth. This could be a moment where her impulsiveness leads to a significant consequence, prompting her to reflect on her actions. Additionally, including a mentor figure or a pivotal conversation with a friend could help emphasize her internal conflict and facilitate her transformation. Lastly, ensure that her final decision or realization is clear and resonates with the audience, reinforcing the theme of growth and responsibility. |
| Mrs. Craven | Throughout the short, Mrs. Craven begins as a figure shrouded in mystery and sorrow, struggling with her past and the weight of her regrets. As the narrative unfolds, she confronts her unresolved grief, leading to moments of introspection that reveal her hidden motivations. By the climax, she experiences a cathartic moment of acceptance, allowing her to begin to let go of her burdens. In the resolution, Mrs. Craven emerges transformed, having found a semblance of peace and a renewed sense of purpose, suggesting that while her past will always be a part of her, it no longer defines her future. | While Mrs. Craven's character is rich and layered, the short format may limit the depth of her arc. The transition from a mysterious figure to one who finds peace could feel rushed if not carefully paced. The emotional weight of her past needs to be conveyed effectively within the limited time, ensuring that the audience can connect with her journey without feeling overwhelmed by exposition. | To improve Mrs. Craven's character arc within the constraints of a short screenplay, consider focusing on a single pivotal moment that encapsulates her past and her emotional struggle. This could be a flashback or a significant interaction with another character that reveals her backstory succinctly. Additionally, using visual storytelling elements, such as symbolic imagery or motifs, can help convey her internal conflict without lengthy dialogue. Finally, ensure that her transformation is clear and impactful, perhaps by showing a tangible change in her demeanor or actions by the end of the short. |
Top Takeaway from This Section
Analysis.primaryTheme
Insight: Anchor the script more explicitly to the primary theme — unacknowledged grief and memory — by expanding Mrs. Craven’s emotional arc and making the town’s forgetfulness tangible (specific moments of complicity, ritualized wishing, and visual leitmotifs like the coin/clink). Decide and signal whether Mrs. Craven is literally supernatural or a living embodiment of grief, and use that decision to shape cinematography, sound design, and character reactions.
Why: The screenplay’s emotional resonance and audience investment hinge on a clear, consistent core. Clarifying and centering the grief theme will tighten the narrative, raise the stakes for Emily’s coming-of-age, reduce confusing ambiguity, and make the film easier to market and emotionally satisfying for viewers.
Theme Analysis Overview
Primary Theme:
The primary theme unifying the entire screenplay is the profound impact of memory, grief, and the often-unacknowledged weight of past tragedies on the present.
Theme Interaction:
The multiple themes of coming-of-age, innocence vs. harsh reality, and the supernatural/mystery all serve and strengthen the primary theme of memory and grief. The innocence of youth and their careless rituals (wishing wells, playful dares) directly contrasts with the buried tragedy of Mrs. Craven's loss, highlighting how the past continues to influence the present, even when unrecognized. The supernatural elements act as a manifestation of this unresolved grief, bridging the gap between the living and the lingering effects of the past. These themes don't overshadow the primary theme; instead, they create the narrative context and emotional resonance that allows the primary theme to deeply impact the audience.
Identified Themes
| Theme | Theme Details | Theme Explanation | Primary Theme Support | ||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
The Weight of Unacknowledged Grief and Memory
90%
|
This theme is established from the initial scene with the 'overgrown well surrounded by weeds and rusted tools' and the clinking coin, hinting at something deeper than a simple dare. It culminates in Mrs. Craven's bitter recounting of her husband's death, the town's blame, and their continued, disrespectful wishing traditions. Emily's research and subsequent apology, and her final wish for remembrance, directly address this theme.
|
The screenplay explores how the unresolved grief of individuals and the collective amnesia of a community can create a lingering, haunting presence. The well becomes a symbol of this buried tragedy, and Mrs. Craven embodies the enduring pain of memory. |
This is the central theme that the entire screenplay revolves around. All other elements serve to highlight and explore this core idea of how past tragedies and forgotten memories continue to affect the present.
|
||||||||||||
Strengthening The Weight of Unacknowledged Grief and Memory
|
|||||||||||||||
|
Coming-of-Age and Loss of Innocence
75%
|
The initial scenes depict the carefree innocence of teenagers engaged in playful dares and light-hearted banter. Emily's initial wish for 'new parents' exemplifies this youthful naivete. However, her encounter with Mrs. Craven and her subsequent research expose her to the harsh realities of adult grief and injustice, forcing her to confront a darker aspect of life and grow beyond her initial innocence.
|
The narrative tracks the transition from youthful ignorance and carefree adventure to a more mature understanding of the world, which includes acknowledging suffering and responsibility. The well, initially a site of youthful bravado, becomes a locus of past trauma. |
This theme supports the primary theme by showing the contrast between the innocent present and the tragic past. The children's initial disregard for the well's history makes their eventual understanding of Mrs. Craven's grief more impactful.
|
||||||||||||
|
The Supernatural and Unresolved Mysteries
60%
|
Mrs. Craven's spectral appearances, her disappearance after a lightning flash, and the ambiguous shadow at her house at the end, all point to supernatural or unexplained elements. The persistent clinking of the coin, even after the well is taped off, adds to this mystery. These elements serve to embody the lingering presence of the past and Mrs. Craven's unresolved emotions.
|
The screenplay uses supernatural or uncanny elements to represent the haunting nature of unresolved grief and injustice. These occurrences blur the lines between the living and the dead, the rational and the inexplicable, reflecting the enduring impact of the past. |
The supernatural elements function as a vehicle for the primary theme. They are the tangible manifestations of Mrs. Craven's pain and the town's forgotten tragedy, making the abstract concept of lingering grief more concrete and affecting.
|
||||||||||||
|
The Hypocrisy and Disregard of Community
40%
|
The town's continued tradition of wishing at the well, despite the foreman's death and the subsequent blame, highlights a collective amnesia and a superficial approach to remembrance. The 'disapproving' older residents and Mr. Kent's fleeting guilt suggest an underlying awareness of past wrongdoings that is ultimately ignored or suppressed by the community.
|
The screenplay critiques a community that prioritizes superficial rituals and convenience over acknowledging and addressing past injustices. This theme emphasizes the societal aspect of forgetting and its consequences. |
This theme directly fuels the primary theme by illustrating *why* Mrs. Craven's grief is so profound and unacknowledged. The community's hypocrisy is the soil from which the unacknowledged grief grows, making the tragedy of the forgotten foreman even more poignant.
|
||||||||||||
Screenwriting Resources on Themes
Articles
| Site | Description |
|---|---|
| Studio Binder | Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters |
| Coverfly | Improving your Screenplay's theme |
| John August | Writing from Theme |
YouTube Videos
| Title | Description |
|---|---|
| Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics | Screenwriting basics - beginner video |
| What is theme | Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay. |
| Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script | Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts |
Robert McKee: "The audience doesn’t go to the movies to see plot; they go to feel emotion, to be moved."
Top Takeaway from This Section
Emotional Pacing and Audience Recovery - suggestions
Insight: Introduce brief emotional breathing room and earlier humanizing details: shorten or break Scene 3’s sustained high-fear sequence, add a short moment where Emily connects with a friend or shows quiet resilience, and plant a subtle hint of Mrs. Craven’s grief (e.g., a faded photograph or memorial item visible through her window) in Scenes 1–2.
Why: This single change prevents audience emotional exhaustion, makes the final revelation more affecting and believable, and increases overall accessibility and emotional clarity—raising the script’s artistic and commercial potential with minimal structural changes.
Emotional Analysis
Emotional Variety
Critique
- The screenplay shows strong emotional variety overall, transitioning effectively from joyful nostalgia in early scenes to eerie suspense and profound sadness in later scenes. Scene 1 establishes youthful exuberance (joy intensity: 6), while Scene 4 delivers deep melancholy (sadness intensity: 9).
- However, there's a noticeable gap in positive emotions during the middle section. Scene 3 completely lacks joy (intensity: 0) and Scene 4 also has no joy, creating an emotional trough that risks audience disengagement. The transition from Scene 2's high joy (intensity: 7) to Scene 3's complete absence of joy is particularly stark.
- The emotional palette becomes increasingly dominated by negative emotions as the story progresses, with suspense, fear, and sadness taking over completely by the final scenes, potentially overwhelming the audience with sustained negative emotional states.
Suggestions
- Introduce brief moments of warmth or connection in Scene 3 to break the emotional monotony - perhaps Emily sharing a meaningful look with one of her friends at school, or a moment of quiet determination that shows her resilience.
- In Scene 4, consider adding a moment of shared understanding or connection between Emily and Mrs. Craven that provides emotional relief before the final melancholy resolution. This could be a brief moment where Mrs. Craven acknowledges Emily's genuine remorse.
Emotional Intensity Distribution
Critique
- Emotional intensity builds effectively from Scene 1 to Scene 4, with suspense increasing from 7 to 8 and sadness from 1 to 9. This creates a strong emotional arc that culminates in the powerful final scene.
- Scene 3 carries an exceptionally heavy emotional load with high intensities across suspense (8), fear (7), and sadness (5) without sufficient relief. This risks emotional fatigue as the audience experiences sustained high-intensity negative emotions for an extended period.
- The transition from Scene 2's lighthearted tone to Scene 3's intense unease is quite abrupt, with joy dropping from intensity 7 to 0 and fear increasing from 3 to 7. This sudden shift could benefit from more gradual emotional modulation.
Suggestions
- Add a brief transitional moment at the beginning of Scene 3 showing Emily and her friends sharing a lighter moment before she enters the school, providing emotional breathing room before the intense bathroom encounter.
- Consider breaking Scene 3 into smaller segments with brief emotional respites - perhaps Emily finding temporary comfort in her room before seeing Mrs. Craven outside, allowing the audience to recover slightly between intense moments.
- Reduce the screen time of Scene 3 from 75 seconds to allow for better pacing of emotional intensity, particularly the sustained high fear and suspense levels.
Empathy For Characters
Critique
- Empathy for Emily builds strongly throughout the screenplay, starting at intensity 4 in Scene 1 and peaking at 9 in Scene 4. Her vulnerability and growth create a compelling emotional journey that audiences can connect with.
- Mrs. Craven's empathy development is somewhat delayed, with significant empathy only emerging in Scene 4 (intensity: 9). The earlier scenes present her primarily as an ominous figure without revealing her tragic backstory, which limits audience connection until the final revelation.
- Secondary characters like Tommy and Jenny receive minimal empathy development beyond their initial relatable qualities in Scene 1 and 2. Their absence from the later emotional core of the story reduces opportunities for varied emotional connections.
Suggestions
- In Scene 2, add a subtle visual detail that hints at Mrs. Craven's grief - perhaps a faded photograph visible through her window or a small memorial item in her home, creating early seeds of sympathy before her full backstory is revealed.
- Include a brief moment in Scene 3 where Emily confides in one of her friends about her home situation, strengthening audience empathy through shared vulnerability and reinforcing her friendships as emotional anchors.
- During Mrs. Craven's revelation in Scene 4, incorporate more specific, personal details about her husband and their life together to deepen the emotional impact and make her loss more tangible to the audience.
Emotional Impact Of Key Scenes
Critique
- Scene 4 delivers exceptional emotional impact with high intensities across empathy (9), sadness (9), and surprise (7), creating a powerful and memorable conclusion that resonates deeply with the audience.
- Scene 3's bathroom encounter has strong suspense (8) and fear (7) but could benefit from stronger emotional specificity. The 'You'll see' line creates mystery but lacks the emotional weight that would make it truly chilling.
- The transition from Scene 2's joyful wish-making to Scene 4's tragic revelation is emotionally effective, but the connection between Emily's casual wish and the actual tragedy could be strengthened for greater impact.
Suggestions
- In Scene 3's bathroom encounter, have Mrs. Craven reference Emily's specific wish more directly - 'New parents, was it?' - to create a more personal and unsettling connection that heightens the emotional stakes.
- During Scene 4's library discovery, show Emily's growing realization through more detailed physical reactions - perhaps her hands trembling as she reads the microfilm or a close-up of her horrified expression as she connects her wish to the actual tragedy.
- Amplify the emotional impact of Scene 4's final moments by having Emily place the quarter more deliberately - perhaps with a whispered apology to the foreman - to emphasize her emotional growth and the story's thematic weight.
Complex Emotional Layers
Critique
- Scene 4 demonstrates excellent emotional complexity with multiple sub-emotions including sympathy, remorse, compassion, and understanding all operating simultaneously at high intensities, creating a rich, layered emotional experience.
- Scene 1 and 2 show good emotional layering with nostalgia, playfulness, and subtle foreboding coexisting, though the positive emotions dominate, making the emotional experience somewhat simpler than later scenes.
- Scene 3 relies heavily on fear and suspense sub-emotions (dread, apprehension, psychological fear) without sufficient counterbalancing emotions, making it feel more one-dimensional emotionally compared to the other scenes.
Suggestions
- In Scene 3, add a layer of conflicting emotions for Emily - perhaps she feels both fear of Mrs. Craven but also curiosity about what she knows, creating internal conflict that adds emotional depth.
- During Scene 2's wish-making, incorporate more nuanced emotional reactions from the other children to Emily's 'new parents' wish - perhaps one friend shows concern while another laughs it off, creating emotional complexity through varied responses.
- In Scene 4's confrontation, emphasize Mrs. Craven's mixed emotions beyond bitterness - perhaps moments of vulnerability or fleeting compassion toward Emily that show the complexity of her decades of grief.
Additional Critique
Emotional Pacing and Audience Recovery
Critiques
- The screenplay lacks sufficient emotional recovery moments between intense scenes, particularly between Scene 3's high-stress encounters and Scene 4's emotional revelations, risking audience emotional exhaustion.
- Scene 3's extended screen time (75 seconds) of sustained high-intensity negative emotions without relief may overwhelm some viewers and reduce their capacity to fully engage with the final scene's emotional complexity.
- The emotional arc moves almost exclusively toward increasing intensity without the natural ebb and flow that allows audiences to process and recover from emotional peaks.
Suggestions
- Add brief transitional scenes between major emotional beats - perhaps showing Emily processing her fear alone in her room or seeking comfort in small, mundane activities that provide emotional breathing room.
- Consider shortening some of Scene 3's most intense moments to create better emotional pacing, allowing the audience moments to recover before the next emotional peak.
- Incorporate more atmospheric, emotionally neutral moments that allow the audience to absorb the emotional weight of previous scenes before moving to the next intense development.
Supporting Character Emotional Integration
Critiques
- Secondary characters like Tommy and Jenny disappear emotionally after Scene 2, missing opportunities to provide emotional counterpoints and varied perspectives on the central mystery.
- Mr. Kent's brief appearance in Scene 3 hints at town-wide guilt but lacks sufficient emotional development to make this subplot resonate emotionally with the audience.
- The emotional journey remains almost exclusively focused on Emily and Mrs. Craven, limiting the screenplay's emotional scope and missing opportunities for richer emotional dynamics through supporting characters.
Suggestions
- Include a brief scene where Emily confides her fears to one of her friends, allowing the audience to see how her relationships are affected by the growing mystery and providing emotional support for her character.
- Expand Mr. Kent's role slightly to show more visible guilt or discomfort when Mrs. Craven appears, making the town's collective responsibility more emotionally tangible.
- In Scene 4, consider having Emily seek advice or comfort from a friend before her library research, showing how her emotional journey affects her relationships and providing additional emotional layers.
Atmospheric Emotion and Setting Integration
Critiques
- While the 1985 setting provides nostalgic atmosphere, it could be more deeply integrated with the emotional themes, particularly the contrast between youthful innocence and hidden tragedy.
- The visual elements (overgrown well, 80s decor, rainy atmosphere) effectively support the emotional tone but could be more actively employed to evoke specific emotional responses at key moments.
- The temporal setting feels somewhat underutilized emotionally - the 1985 context provides opportunities for specific period-appropriate emotional experiences that could enhance the story's emotional authenticity.
Suggestions
- Use specific 1985 cultural references more deliberately to evoke emotional responses - perhaps music or media that contrasts with the dark themes to heighten emotional complexity.
- In Scene 4, emphasize the visual contrast between Emily's modern (for 1985) world and Mrs. Craven's stuck-in-the-past existence to enhance the emotional themes of memory and forgetting.
- Incorporate more period-specific emotional cues - the limitations of 1985 technology (no internet, limited research options) could heighten Emily's isolation and determination in Scene 4's investigation.
Top Takeaway from This Section
Primary_internal_stakes_resolution
Insight: Make Emily’s internal goal explicit and woven into every act: establish her ‘wish’ and need for belonging/agency early, dramatize tangible obstacles (town apathy, parental conflict, personal fear), and give her one decisive, visible action in the climax that demonstrates genuine empathy and remembrance rather than only symbolic gestures.
Why: The audience needs a clear, emotionally traceable journey to invest in the mystery and its outcome; clarifying Emily’s inner stakes and connecting them to concrete external choices will strengthen emotional payoff, narrative coherence, and overall marketability.
| Goals and Philosophical Conflict | |
|---|---|
| internal Goals | The protagonist's internal goals evolve from a desire for bravery and independence to seeking belonging and understanding, ultimately culminating in a need for empathy and remembrance of the past. |
| External Goals | The protagonist's external goals shift from a pursuit of adventure and challenge within her immediate environment to uncovering the truth behind the foreman's death and reconciling the town's past. |
| Philosophical Conflict | The overarching philosophical conflict revolves around memory and responsibility versus neglect and escapism, as Emily grapples with her desire to escape her family’s issues and the town's superficial traditions while recognizing the importance of understanding and honoring the past. |
Character Development Contribution: The evolution of Emily's internal goals illustrates her growing awareness and sensitivity toward others, leading to significant personal growth as she transitions from a playful child to a compassionate individual who honors memories and seeks understanding.
Narrative Structure Contribution: The interplay of internal and external goals drives the narrative forward, creating tension and conflict that ultimately lead to the climactic resolution of both personal and communal issues, anchoring the plot in emotional stakes.
Thematic Depth Contribution: The goals and conflicts enrich the thematic depth of the screenplay by exploring complex ideas of memory, loss, and community, challenging surface-level perceptions and inviting viewers to reflect on the significance of remembering and honoring those who have been forgotten.
Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Articles
| Site | Description |
|---|---|
| Creative Screenwriting | How Important Is A Character’s Goal? |
| Studio Binder | What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict |
YouTube Videos
| Title | Description |
|---|---|
| How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict | How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode. |
| Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great | By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes |
| Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals | By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy? |
| Compelled to Read | Story Content | Character Development | Scene Elements | Audience Engagement | Technical Aspects | ||||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Click for Full Analysis | Page | Tone | Overall | Scene Impact | Concept | Plot | Originality | Characters | Character Changes | Internal Goal | External Goal | Conflict | Opposition | High stakes | Story forward | Twist | Emotional Impact | Dialogue | Engagement | Pacing | Formatting | Structure | |
| 1 - Dawn of Adventure Improve | 1 | Nostalgic, Playful, Curious | 8.5 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 2 - Wishes at the Well Improve | 1 | Nostalgic, Playful, Bittersweet | 8.5 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 3 - Whispers in the Shadows Improve | 2 | Melancholic, Mysterious, Reflective | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 4 - Echoes of Remembrance Improve | 3 | Eerie, Reflective, Emotional | 9.2 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | |
Summary of Scene Level Analysis
Here are insights from the scene-level analysis, highlighting strengths, weaknesses, and actionable suggestions.
Some points may appear in both strengths and weaknesses due to scene variety.
Tip: Click on criteria in the top row for detailed summaries.
Scene Strengths
- Strong character dynamics
- Emotional depth
- Intriguing character dynamics
- Natural dialogue
- Atmospheric tension
Scene Weaknesses
- Limited immediate conflict
- Character changes not fully realized yet
- Some dialogue could be more nuanced
- Potential for more dynamic conflict
- Lack of overt conflict
Suggestions
- Increase the stakes by introducing more immediate conflict to engage the audience.
- Develop character arcs more fully, ensuring that character changes are demonstrated clearly throughout the screenplay.
- Refine and enhance dialogue to make it more engaging and impactful, focusing on nuance and subtext.
- Introduce scenes that complicate existing conflicts to create a more dynamic narrative structure.
- Consider balancing the atmospheric elements with overt conflict to maintain viewer interest while preserving thematic depth.
Scene 1 - Dawn of Adventure
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Compelled to keep Reading Score: 7/10
This scene masterfully sets the stage for mystery and intrigue. The opening with the echoing coin from the well immediately grabs the reader's attention and poses a silent question: what is down there, and why is there a coin? The subsequent shift to the teenagers introduces a relatable element of youthful adventure and camaraderie. Emily's bold acceptance of the challenge to go up the hill to the well, directly after her dismissive comment, creates a sense of anticipation. The reader is left wondering if she will go through with it, what she will find, and how this relates to the mysterious well introduced at the start.
Script Continuation Score: 7/10
The script opens with a strong hook: a mysterious sound from an abandoned well. This immediately establishes an atmosphere of the unknown and suggests a potential for something supernatural or a hidden secret. The introduction of relatable teenage characters and their casual dare creates a contrast with the ominous opening, hinting at a story that might blend youthful escapades with darker themes. The juxtaposition of the timeless, sleepy town with the unsettling well sound suggests that this seemingly ordinary setting holds hidden depths, compelling the reader to uncover them.
Scene 2 - Wishes at the Well
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Compelled to keep Reading Score: 7/10
This scene effectively builds on the playful dare from the previous scene by bringing the characters to the well. The introduction of the coin toss and the subsequent wishes, particularly Emily's, injects a layer of mystery and personal stakes into the seemingly lighthearted activity. Jenny's witty follow-up adds humor, but it's Mrs. Craven's silent, watchful presence at the end that creates a palpable sense of unease and a strong desire to know her connection to the children and their wishes. The contrast between the children's carefree laughter and Mrs. Craven's clandestine observation is a compelling hook.
Script Continuation Score: 8/10
The script maintains a strong hold on the reader's attention. The established youthful adventure theme is still present, but the introduction of Emily's wish and the mysterious Mrs. Craven adds significant intrigue. The screenplay has successfully layered a sense of foreboding over the nostalgic setting. The reader is now invested in understanding the implications of Emily's wish and Mrs. Craven's silent observation, knowing from the opening scene that something significant is connected to this well and this town.
Scene 3 - Whispers in the Shadows
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Compelled to keep Reading Score: 8/10
This scene masterfully escalates the mystery and unease established in the previous scenes. The direct, cryptic interaction between Mrs. Craven and Emily in the bathroom creates immediate intrigue and a sense of foreboding. Mrs. Craven's unsettling question and enigmatic "You'll see" leave Emily (and the reader) with a powerful unresolved question about the nature of her wish and Mrs. Craven's involvement. The subsequent encounters – Mrs. Craven's silent acknowledgment of Mr. Kent, hinting at a shared secret or burden, and the chilling final image of her disappearing in the storm outside Emily's window – deepen the suspense and raise further questions about Mrs. Craven's identity and purpose. The scene ends with Emily experiencing escalating personal distress (parents arguing, unsettling visions), making the reader desperate to know what Mrs. Craven knows and what will happen next.
Script Continuation Score: 9/10
The screenplay is building a compelling narrative with a strong central mystery. Emily's personal wish at the well, followed by Mrs. Craven's unsettling pronouncements and sightings, establishes a clear supernatural or at least deeply uncanny element. The introduction of Mr. Kent's guilt and Mrs. Craven's quiet presence in various town locations suggests a larger, perhaps tragic, history connected to the well and the town's inhabitants. The escalating personal unease for Emily (her parents' arguments, Mrs. Craven's apparition) adds an emotional layer to the unfolding mystery, making the reader invested in her journey and eager to see how these threads resolve. The scene successfully brings together the playful beginning with a darker, more complex reality.
Scene 4 - Echoes of Remembrance
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Compelled to keep Reading Score: 10/10
This scene masterfully brings the entire narrative to a satisfying, albeit melancholic, conclusion. The payoff for Emily's initial wish, the unfolding mystery of Mrs. Craven, and the tragic backstory of the foreman are all revealed and tied together. The confrontation at the well is emotionally charged and provides the necessary exposition without feeling like an info dump. The resolution of the well's collapse and Emily's final wish, coupled with the lingering ambiguity at Mrs. Craven's house, leaves the reader with a sense of closure while still maintaining a touch of mystery. The scene ends with multiple potent hooks: the resolution of the well's danger, Emily's act of remembrance, the ambiguous flicker at Mrs. Craven's house, and the final, echoing coin drop. These elements ensure the reader's desire to understand the full implications and the fate of Mrs. Craven, even though it's the end of the script. The emotional resonance of Emily's apology and Mrs. Craven's parting words leave a lasting impression.
Script Continuation Score: 9/10
The script has built a compelling mystery around the well and Mrs. Craven, and this final scene pays off that build-up effectively. The threads introduced in earlier scenes – Emily's wish, Mrs. Craven's unsettling presence, the cryptic warnings, and the town's general atmosphere – are all addressed and resolved. The connection between Emily's wish and Mrs. Craven's tragedy provides a strong emotional core, and Emily's final act of remembrance offers a cathartic release. The earlier scenes established a sense of youthful adventure and then gradually introduced unease and mystery. The introduction of Mrs. Craven as a spectral observer and later as a source of cryptic warnings was a key driver of suspense. The final scene provides the explanation for her behavior and her connection to the well, solidifying the narrative arc. The unresolved nature of Emily's parents' argument in Scene 3, while not directly resolved, serves to highlight Emily's own desire for a better family life, which ties into her wish and her eventual empathy for Mrs. Craven's loss.
World Building
- Physical environment: The screenplay is set in a nostalgic small mill town in 1985, characterized by its quiet, sleepy atmosphere. Key physical features include a hilltop with an overgrown well, crumbling stone structures, rusted tools, and faded storefronts, all of which evoke a sense of history and mystery. The environment is marked by natural elements like weeds and rain, contributing to a haunting and melancholic backdrop.
- Culture: Cultural elements reflect a nostalgic 1980s vibe, with teenagers wearing denim jackets and using Walkman headphones, engaging in playful banter and challenges. The town's traditions, such as throwing coins into the well for wishes, highlight a blend of innocence and underlying tragedy, while the presence of older residents who disapprove of the youth adds tension to the cultural landscape.
- Society: The societal structure is depicted as close-knit yet complex, with a mix of carefree interactions among the youth and a more somber, watchful attitude from the older generation. The children roam freely, suggesting a sense of community, but there are hints of isolation and disapproval from adults, particularly in the interactions with characters like Mrs. Craven and Mr. Kent.
- Technology: The technology in the screenplay is minimal and reflective of the 1980s, with no significant modern advancements. The presence of a glowing microfilm reader contrasts with the otherwise traditional setting, emphasizing the town's historical aspects and the characters' connection to the past. The lack of modern technology enhances the timeless quality of the narrative.
- Characters influence: The physical environment and cultural elements shape the characters' experiences by providing a backdrop for their youthful adventures and interactions. The well serves as a focal point for their playful challenges, while the disapproval from older residents influences their behavior and creates a sense of tension. Emily's encounters with Mrs. Craven highlight the impact of the town's history on her personal journey.
- Narrative contribution: The world elements contribute to the narrative by establishing a setting rich in history and mystery, which drives the plot forward. The well's tragic past and the characters' interactions with it create a central conflict that unfolds throughout the screenplay, culminating in emotional revelations and character growth.
- Thematic depth contribution: The world elements enhance the thematic depth by exploring themes of loss, memory, and the passage of time. The juxtaposition of youthful innocence with the darker aspects of the town's history, particularly through Mrs. Craven's story, invites reflection on how the past shapes the present. The tradition of wishing at the well serves as a metaphor for hope and the need for remembrance amidst tragedy.
| Voice Analysis | |
|---|---|
| Summary: | The writer's voice is characterized by a compelling blend of atmospheric, introspective, and poignant writing, seamlessly weaving together naturalistic dialogue with evocative narrative descriptions. This voice is adept at establishing mood, whether it's the nostalgic camaraderie of youth, the unsettling mystery of a small town, or the haunting weight of past tragedies. The dialogue often feels authentic and reveals character through subtle humor and emotional depth. Narrative descriptions are concise yet powerful, painting vivid mental images that enhance the thematic resonance of the scenes. |
| Voice Contribution | The writer's voice contributes significantly to the screenplay's overall mood, themes, and depth by creating a rich tapestry of sensory details and emotional subtext. It effectively builds suspense and mystery, grounds the fantastical elements in relatable human experiences, and allows for a profound exploration of themes such as memory, loss, wish-fulfillment, and the lingering impact of the past on the present. The voice ensures that even in moments of youthful adventure, there's an underlying sense of melancholy and introspection, and that the supernatural elements feel earned and emotionally resonant. |
| Best Representation Scene | 3 - Whispers in the Shadows |
| Best Scene Explanation | Scene 3 best showcases the author's unique voice due to its exceptional ability to blend atmospheric tension with introspective character moments and subtle, haunting imagery. The sparse yet potent dialogue, particularly Mrs. Craven's cryptic pronouncements, creates a palpable sense of unease. The narrative descriptions are vivid and sensory, establishing the eerie mood of the dimly lit bathroom, the slow and disapproving town, and the unsettling quiet of Emily's bedroom contrasted with the arguing parents and the vanishing figure outside. This scene effectively utilizes these elements to deepen thematic exploration of isolation, unspoken guilt, and supernatural dread, which are hallmarks of the writer's distinctive style and contribute significantly to the screenplay's depth. |
Style and Similarities
The screenplay demonstrates a strong blend of atmospheric storytelling, emotional depth, and character-driven narratives. It effectively navigates themes of childhood, nostalgia, mystery, and complex human relationships, often with a touch of the uncanny or supernatural. The dialogue can be both whimsical and cryptic, contributing to a unique emotional landscape.
Style Similarities:
| Writer | Explanation |
|---|---|
| Stephen King | The recurring presence of King's influence across multiple scenes, particularly in the first analysis, points to a significant underlying style. This suggests a strength in building compelling small-town atmospheres, introducing mysterious elements, and exploring the challenges faced by youthful characters. The blend of the mundane with the extraordinary is a hallmark that appears to be a strong suit of this screenplay. |
| Guillermo del Toro | Del Toro's influence, highlighted in the fourth analysis, suggests a capacity for creating visually rich and emotionally resonant scenes, often incorporating supernatural or fantastical elements. Coupled with the character exploration mentioned, this indicates a writing style that delves into the darker, more profound aspects of human experience and the power of the fantastical to illuminate them. |
Other Similarities: The analyses suggest a screenplay that aims for significant emotional impact and narrative intrigue, making it suitable for a competition where originality and strong thematic resonance are valued. Given the intermediate skill level and desire for moderate changes, focusing on sharpening the connections between these stylistic elements will be key. The blend of whimsical humor (Anderson/Gerwig) with darker, more mysterious tones (King/Lynch/Flynn/del Toro) indicates a potentially complex but rewarding narrative voice. The presence of both coming-of-age elements and deeper, more unsettling themes allows for broad appeal and a rich tapestry of storytelling, which are excellent qualities for a competitive screenplay.
Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:
| Pattern | Explanation |
|---|---|
| Emotional Impact Peaks with 'Emotional' Tone and High Stakes | The highest 'Emotional Impact' scores (9 and 10) consistently appear in scenes with an 'Emotional' tone (Scene 4) and when 'High Stakes' are also rated high (Scene 4). This suggests that when you explicitly lean into an emotional tone and the narrative stakes are elevated, the audience experiences the most significant emotional resonance. For a competition script, this is a crucial insight – ensure your emotionally charged moments are tied to demonstrable high stakes to maximize their impact on judges. |
| Strong Plot and Character Development Drive Overall Grade | The 'Overall Grade' demonstrates a strong correlation with both 'Plot' and 'Characters' scores, especially in the higher-scoring scenes (all of them are high). The fact that 'Plot' and 'Characters' are consistently rated near-perfectly (8-9) indicates a solid foundation. However, notice that Scene 4, with a perfect 'Plot' score (10) and high 'Characters' (9), also has the highest 'Overall Grade' (9). This suggests that when both plot and character work in perfect harmony, the overall quality of the scene is amplified. Continue to ensure your plot intricacies and character arcs are intertwined. |
| Dialogue's Influence is Tied to its Contribution to Move Story Forward | While 'Dialogue' scores are generally high (8-9), the highest 'Dialogue' score (9) in Scene 1 aligns with a higher score for 'Move Story Forward' (7). In Scene 4, with a high 'Dialogue' score (9), 'Move Story Forward' is also high (9). This indicates that your dialogue is most effective and impactful when it serves a clear purpose in advancing the narrative, rather than just being expository or conversational. For an intermediate writer focused on competition, this is key: every line should ideally have a function. Consider if any dialogue, while good, could be tightened or made more purposeful to further propel the story. |
| Character Changes Correlate with Complex Tones and Emotional Depth | The scenes with the most nuanced and layered tones, like 'Melancholic,' 'Mysterious,' and 'Reflective' (Scene 3), or 'Eerie,' 'Reflective,' and 'Emotional' (Scene 4), tend to have higher 'Character Changes' scores (8 and 9). This suggests that characters are undergoing more significant internal shifts when the scene's emotional and thematic landscape is richer and more complex. If you want to show character development, layering the scene's tone can be a powerful tool, even if the initial tone classifications might seem less straightforward. This is a less immediately obvious pattern that could be leveraged for deeper character arcs. |
| The Introduction of 'Eerie' and 'Emotional' Tones Signals Peaks in Key Metrics | Scene 4, with its 'Eerie,' 'Reflective,' and 'Emotional' tones, stands out with perfect scores in 'Plot' and 'Concept,' and the highest 'Emotional Impact' and 'Overall Grade.' This isn't to say these tones are universally superior, but in *this specific screenplay*, the introduction of these tones seems to coincide with moments where the core elements of the script are firing on all cylinders. This suggests that moments of suspense, introspection, and raw emotion are particularly potent in driving the narrative and engaging the audience within your story's context. |
| Slight Dip in 'Conflict' and 'High Stakes' Doesn't Necessarily Harm 'Move Story Forward' in Earlier Scenes | While 'Conflict' and 'High Stakes' are generally well-rated (7-8), Scene 2 has slightly lower scores in these areas (7) compared to Scene 1 (8). However, 'Move Story Forward' remains high (8) in Scene 2. This indicates that even in scenes where overt conflict or immediate high stakes might be less pronounced, your ability to maintain narrative momentum through other means (perhaps character interaction, subtle plot developments, or thematic exploration) is strong. This is an area where you might have inherent strength; focus on maintaining this momentum even when the external pressures are less intense. |
Writer's Craft Overall Analysis
The screenplay demonstrates a strong foundation in establishing atmosphere, mood, and emotional resonance. The writer excels at crafting engaging scenes that blend nostalgia, humor, and subtle character dynamics. There's a clear ability to convey tension and depth through both dialogue and evocative descriptions. The narrative effectively sets up character growth and thematic exploration, indicating a promising talent for immersive storytelling. The focus on character relationships and thematic undercurrents is a significant strength that can be further honed for competitive success.
Key Improvement Areas
Character Depth and Subtext
Across multiple scenes, there's a consistent mention of 'subtle character dynamics,' 'emotional depth,' and 'character-driven storytelling.' While the writer is adept at implying emotion, deepening these layers through more explicit subtext in dialogue and action will enhance the audience's understanding and connection to the characters, especially important for competition where emotional impact is key.
Narrative Structure and Pacing
While individual scenes are strong, understanding how they build upon each other is crucial for a competitive screenplay. Insights into narrative structure will help ensure a cohesive and compelling journey for the audience, preventing pacing issues that can arise even in well-written individual scenes.
Dialogue Nuance
The scenes suggest successful use of 'sparse dialogue' and 'vivid imagery.' However, refining dialogue to consistently carry subtext and reveal character more dynamically, even in seemingly simple exchanges, will elevate the overall script.
Suggestions
| Type | Suggestion | Rationale |
|---|---|---|
| Screenplay | Read and analyze screenplays like 'Moonlight' by Barry Jenkins or 'Little Miss Sunshine' by Michael Arndt. These films are celebrated for their deeply felt character arcs, nuanced dialogue, and ability to convey complex emotions with understated elegance. Pay close attention to how characters' inner lives are revealed through their actions and seemingly mundane conversations. | These screenplays offer exceptional examples of character depth and emotional resonance, aligning with the writer's strengths and the goal of competition. Studying their dialogue and subtext will provide concrete models for enhancing character portrayal. |
| Book | Read 'Story Genius: How to Use Brain Science to Go Beyond Outlines and Write a Riveting Novel' by Lisa Cron. While a novel-writing book, its principles on understanding character motivation at a fundamental, almost instinctual level, and how that drives the plot, are transferable to screenwriting. It emphasizes uncovering the 'why' behind character actions. | This book's focus on deeply understanding character motivation will help the writer build even stronger, more consistent character arcs and motivations, which is essential for a competitive screenplay. It appeals to a theoretical understanding of narrative, which can be beneficial for an intermediate writer looking to refine their craft. |
| Exercise | Write a scene where two characters have a conversation about a seemingly mundane topic (e.g., planning a meal, discussing the weather), but one character is harboring a significant secret that subtly influences their every word and gesture. The audience should be able to sense the underlying tension without it being explicitly stated.Practice In SceneProv | This exercise directly targets the improvement of subtext in dialogue and action, a key area for enhancing character depth and creating palpable tension within scenes. It hones the ability to communicate emotion indirectly. |
| Exercise | Take a scene you've already written and rewrite a key piece of dialogue or a significant action. The goal is to convey the same information or emotional beat, but through a different, more subtle or evocative method. For example, instead of a character saying 'I'm sad,' show it through their posture, their interaction with an object, or a carefully chosen silence.Practice In SceneProv | This practice encourages exploration of visual storytelling and reduces reliance on exposition, strengthening the writer's ability to use non-verbal cues and atmospheric elements to convey meaning, which is crucial for impactful cinematic storytelling. |
| Exercise | Outline a 5-scene arc for a character facing a difficult decision. For each scene, focus on how the character's internal state changes and how this change is subtly reflected in their interactions with their environment or other characters, rather than overtly stating their feelings. Think about the character's 'need' versus their 'want'.Practice In SceneProv | This exercise builds a stronger understanding of character development and narrative pacing within a larger structure. It encourages the writer to think about the cumulative effect of small moments on a character's journey, essential for a cohesive and competitive screenplay. |
| Video | Watch TED Talks or interviews with screenwriters like Charlie Kaufman ('Adaptation', 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind') or Nora Ephron ('When Harry Met Sally...', 'Sleepless in Seattle'). Their discussions often delve into the craft of imbuing ordinary moments with extraordinary meaning and building authentic character voices. | Hearing directly from accomplished screenwriters about their process can provide valuable insights into the creative challenges and solutions involved in crafting emotionally resonant and thematically rich narratives. This offers a different perspective than reading scripts alone. |
Additional Notes:
The writer demonstrates a strong intuitive grasp of atmosphere and emotional subtlety, which are excellent starting points. The focus on nostalgia and humor, combined with a growing ability to handle tension, creates a compelling blend. For competition, the next step is to consciously refine these elements, ensuring that the emotional undercurrents are always felt and that the narrative structure supports maximum impact. The intermediate skill level suggests the writer is ready to embrace more theoretical approaches to craft and actively apply them through targeted exercises.
Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay
| Trope | Trope Details | Trope Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| Coming of Age | Emily's journey from childhood innocence to a deeper understanding of loss and responsibility. | This trope involves a character's growth and maturation, often marked by significant life events. A classic example is in 'Stand by Me', where a group of boys confronts the realities of life and death during their journey to find a dead body. |
| The Mysterious Stranger | Mrs. Craven serves as a cryptic figure who holds secrets about the town's past. | This trope features a character who appears enigmatic and often has a hidden backstory that impacts the main characters. An example is the character of the 'Old Man' in 'The Sixth Sense', who provides crucial insights into the protagonist's journey. |
| The Wish | Emily's wish for new parents highlights her desire for escape from her current life. | This trope involves a character making a wish that often leads to unforeseen consequences. A well-known example is in 'The Monkey's Paw', where wishes come with dire repercussions. |
| The Haunted Past | The well's history and Mrs. Craven's backstory haunt the town and Emily. | This trope involves characters dealing with the repercussions of past events. An example is 'The Others', where the characters confront the ghosts of their past. |
| Small Town Secrets | The town's history and the tragedy surrounding the well are hidden from the children. | This trope involves a seemingly idyllic setting that hides dark secrets. An example is 'Twin Peaks', where the town's surface charm conceals deep-rooted issues. |
| The Mentor | Mrs. Craven acts as a mentor figure, albeit a dark one, guiding Emily towards understanding. | This trope features a character who provides guidance and wisdom to the protagonist. An example is Mr. Miyagi in 'The Karate Kid', who teaches the protagonist valuable life lessons. |
| The Final Confrontation | Emily's encounter with Mrs. Craven at the well serves as the climax of the story. | This trope involves a climactic moment where the protagonist faces their greatest challenge. An example is the final showdown in 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows', where Harry confronts Voldemort. |
| The Symbolic Object | The well serves as a symbol of the town's history and the weight of wishes. | This trope involves an object that carries significant meaning for the characters. An example is the ring in 'The Lord of the Rings', which symbolizes power and corruption. |
| The Eerie Setting | The well and the town create a mysterious and unsettling atmosphere. | This trope involves a setting that enhances the story's mood, often contributing to suspense or horror. An example is the Overlook Hotel in 'The Shining', which adds to the film's eerie atmosphere. |
| The Unreliable Narrator | Emily's perception of events may be influenced by her emotional state, leading to ambiguity. | This trope involves a narrator whose credibility is compromised, leading to a twist in the story. An example is 'Fight Club', where the protagonist's perspective is revealed to be unreliable. |
Memorable lines in the script:
Logline Analysis
Top Performing Loglines
Creative Executive's Take
This logline stands out as the top choice for its sharp commercial appeal, blending a relatable coming-of-age story with a profound moral conflict that hooks audiences immediately. By framing the narrative around an 'offhand wish' colliding with 'a janitor's decades-old grief,' it taps into timeless themes of innocence lost and societal accountability, making it highly marketable for YA audiences and film festivals focused on emotional depth. Referencing the original ID 'logline_1', it remains factually accurate to the script summary, where Emily's casual wish directly leads to her confrontation with Mrs. Craven's sorrow and the town's forgetfulness, ensuring every element is supported without exaggeration, while its concise structure promises a gripping, character-driven story that could easily attract directors like Greta Gerwig for its blend of nostalgia and introspection.
Strengths
This logline effectively captures the thematic core of the story, highlighting the moral conflict and the protagonist's journey to restore forgotten memories, which aligns well with the script's emotional depth.
Weaknesses
It is somewhat lengthy, which may reduce its punchiness, and the phrasing could be tightened for better clarity and impact in a professional context.
Suggested Rewrites
When a casual wish at an old well awakens a janitor's grief, a teen girl confronts her town's cruelty to restore a forgotten memory.
A teen's thoughtless wish at a haunted well ignites a widow's fury, exposing the town's dark secret and forcing a reckoning with the past.
In a poignant tale of loss and remembrance, an idle wish collides with enduring grief, compelling a young girl to challenge her community's selective memory.
Detailed Scores
| Criterion | Score | Reason | Evidence |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hook | 10 | The logline has a strong, intriguing hook with the collision of a casual wish and deep grief, drawing the reader in immediately. | "The mysterious atmosphere in Scene 1 and the wish in Scene 2 set up this hook, which is mirrored in the logline's dramatic phrasing." |
| Stakes | 10 | The stakes are high and morally charged, involving the erasure of memory and its restoration, which underscores the emotional and ethical consequences. | "The script's ending in Scene 4, with Emily's wish and the ambiguous fade-out, highlights the importance of remembering the foreman's death and the town's role in forgetting." |
| Brevity | 8 | At 31 words, it is concise but slightly wordy for an ideal logline, which could be streamlined without losing essence. | "While the logline covers key elements efficiently, standard loglines are often under 30 words for maximum impact, as seen in the script's focused scenes." |
| Clarity | 9 | The logline is clear in presenting the inciting incident and conflict, though the abstract phrasing like 'collides with' might require a moment to fully grasp. | "It mirrors the script's Scene 2 where a wish is made and Scene 3 where Mrs. Craven's grief is introduced, creating a direct link to the story elements." |
| Conflict | 8 | The conflict between the wish and the janitor's grief is presented, but it could be more explicit to heighten tension. | "Conflict is evident in Scenes 3 and 4, with Emily's encounters with Mrs. Craven and the revelation of the well's tragic history, though the logline generalizes this slightly." |
| Protagonist goal | 9 | It clearly defines the teenage girl's goal of confronting the town's cruelty to restore memory, making the protagonist's arc evident. | "This aligns with Emily's actions in Scene 4, where she apologizes and makes a wish to remember the foreman, emphasizing restoration of memory." |
| Factual alignment | 10 | It accurately reflects the script's key events and themes, including the wish, grief, and memory restoration. | "Details match Scene 2's wish-making and Scene 4's revelation of the well's history, with no deviations from the provided summary." |
Creative Executive's Take
As a strong second pick, this logline excels in its commercial viability by incorporating elements of mystery and moral redemption, which are catnip for thriller-drama hybrids in the indie market. The phrase 'uncovers a cover-up' cleverly alludes to the script's revelation of the foreman's death and the city's exoneration, building suspense that could appeal to viewers of films like 'Spotlight,' while the 'morally charged act' at the end mirrors Emily's respectful gesture at the well, providing a satisfying arc. Drawing from ID 'logline_4', it stays true to the script's facts, avoiding any unsubstantiated additions, and its focus on a 'lonely teenager' evolving through discovery adds emotional layers that enhance its marketability, positioning it as a pitch-perfect short film or episode for platforms like Netflix's anthology series.
Strengths
This logline has a strong hook with the contrast between playfulness and tragedy, accurately reflecting the script's tone and key events.
Weaknesses
It lacks a clear statement of the protagonist's goal, making the story's direction slightly less defined, and could be more concise.
Suggested Rewrites
A 14-year-old girl joking at a town's wishing well uncovers a hidden tragedy and a unrelenting grieving woman demanding remembrance.
A teen's prank at an ancient well awakens a deadly secret and a vengeful spirit, forcing the town to face its sins.
In this meditation on memory and loss, a young girl's frivolous act reveals a profound tragedy and a widow's unyielding quest for justice.
Detailed Scores
| Criterion | Score | Reason | Evidence |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hook | 10 | The shift from joke to serious discovery is highly engaging, immediately piquing interest. | "The playful wish in Scene 2 contrasted with the ominous revelations in Scene 4 provides a natural hook that the logline exploits effectively." |
| Stakes | 9 | The stakes are effectively conveyed through the tragedy and the woman's persistence, emphasizing emotional and moral consequences. | "The script's focus on Mrs. Craven's grief in Scenes 3 and 4 and the town's casual forgetfulness highlights the importance of remembrance." |
| Brevity | 8 | At 33 words, it is acceptably brief but could be tightened for greater impact. | "While concise, the logline's length is close to ideal, similar to the script's efficient scene setups." |
| Clarity | 9 | The logline is clear in describing the inciting incident and discovery, with straightforward language. | "It echoes the joking attitude in Scene 2 and the tragic revelation in Scene 4, making the progression logical and easy to follow." |
| Conflict | 9 | It presents strong conflict between the girl's initial levity and the woman's grief, building tension well. | "Conflict is depicted in the script through Emily's encounters with Mrs. Craven and the well's history, which the logline captures with the 'buried tragedy' element." |
| Protagonist goal | 8 | The goal is implied through discovery, but it is not explicitly stated, leaving some ambiguity. | "Emily's arc in the script involves uncovering the truth, as seen in her research in Scene 4, but the logline does not articulate a specific objective beyond discovery." |
| Factual alignment | 10 | It accurately represents the script's events, including the joking wish and the grieving woman's role. | "Details align with Scene 2's coin-tossing fun and Scene 4's confrontation with Mrs. Craven, with no inaccuracies." |
Creative Executive's Take
This logline ranks third for its personalized and emotionally resonant approach, using the specific detail of Emily's wish for 'new parents' to create an intimate, character-focused hook that resonates with themes of family dysfunction and personal growth, making it commercially appealing to audiences drawn to stories like 'Stand by Me.' By tying directly to the script's core events—Emily's wish and the ensuing unraveling of guilt and sorrow—it ensures factual accuracy, as seen in ID 'logline_17', without deviating into fantasy. This specificity not only grounds the narrative in relatable stakes but also highlights the transformative journey, offering a marketable angle for young adult adaptations that emphasize empathy and healing, potentially attracting talent like young ensemble casts for a nostalgic 80s vibe.
Strengths
This logline adeptly conveys the narrative progression and moral undertones, effectively linking the inciting incident to the resolution and emphasizing the story's emotional stakes.
Weaknesses
It is overly wordy, which dilutes its impact, and could benefit from more concise language to enhance clarity and engagement.
Suggested Rewrites
After a wish at an abandoned well, a lonely teen uncovers a cover-up, meets a destroyed woman, and changes the town's memory with a moral act.
A teen's wish at a cursed well unmasks a deadly conspiracy, confronting a vengeful widow and igniting a town-wide transformation.
Through a seemingly innocent wish, an isolated teenager unearths layers of deceit and sorrow, culminating in an act that reshapes communal remembrance.
Detailed Scores
| Criterion | Score | Reason | Evidence |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hook | 9 | The logline hooks with the cover-up and moral act, creating intrigue about the consequences of the wish. | "The mysterious elements in Scene 1 and the newspaper headline in Scene 4 provide a strong hook that the logline echoes." |
| Stakes | 9 | The stakes are high morally, with the act changing collective memory, though they are more emotional than physical. | "The script's focus on the town's guilt and Emily's apology in Scene 4 underscores the personal and communal consequences of forgetting the foreman's death." |
| Brevity | 7 | At 36 words, it is longer than ideal, potentially overwhelming the reader and reducing succinctness. | "Ideal loglines are concise; this one could be trimmed while retaining core elements, as the script's scenes are described efficiently." |
| Clarity | 9 | The logline clearly outlines the sequence of events from wish to discovery and resolution, making the story easy to follow. | "It parallels the script's progression in Scene 2 with the wish and Scene 4 with the uncovering of the cover-up via newspaper research." |
| Conflict | 9 | It effectively presents conflict through the cover-up and meeting the grieving woman, building tension well. | "Conflict is depicted in Scenes 3 and 4, with Mrs. Craven's cryptic interactions and the revelation of the well collapse, which the logline captures accurately." |
| Protagonist goal | 9 | The goal is implied through the uncovering and the morally charged act, showing the teenager's journey toward change. | "This aligns with Emily's research in Scene 4 and her final act of remembrance, demonstrating a clear path to altering the town's memory." |
| Factual alignment | 10 | It faithfully represents the script's events, including the wish, cover-up, and transformative act. | "Details match Scene 4's discovery of the foreman's death and the town's cleared fault, with Emily's final wish aligning with the morally charged act." |
Creative Executive's Take
Securing the fourth spot, this logline's straightforward simplicity makes it commercially accessible, appealing to a broad audience with its clear setup of a '14-year-old girl' discovering hidden tragedy, which evokes classic tales of youthful curiosity gone awry. It accurately reflects the script summary's key elements, such as the wishing well's role in revealing Mrs. Craven's grief, as per ID 'logline_0', ensuring every detail is supported without embellishment. This directness enhances its marketability for short-form content or educational programming, where the contrast between playfulness and seriousness can be leveraged for quick emotional impact, though it lacks the layered intrigue of higher-ranked loglines, making it slightly less dynamic in a competitive pitching environment.
Strengths
This logline personalizes the story by naming the protagonist and her specific wish, effectively conveying her character arc and emotional growth.
Weaknesses
The term 'cursed site' is not directly supported by the script, potentially misleading readers, and the goal could be more action-oriented for better engagement.
Suggested Rewrites
When Emily wishes for new parents at an old well, she uncovers guilt and sorrow from a local death, gaining deep empathy.
Emily's wish for new parents at a deadly well exposes hidden tragedies, thrusting her into a battle for truth and compassion.
A young girl's wish at a fateful well unravels a tapestry of grief, evolving her innocence into profound empathetic insight.
Detailed Scores
| Criterion | Score | Reason | Evidence |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hook | 9 | The specific wish and transformation create an engaging hook, drawing interest to Emily's personal story. | "The wish in Scene 2 and Emily's encounters in Scene 3 hook the audience, which the logline captures with its focus on her naive worldview." |
| Stakes | 8 | Stakes are personal and emotional, centered on Emily's growth, but lack the broader societal impact seen in other loglines. | "The script shows Emily's isolation in Scene 3 and her final wish in Scene 4, highlighting internal stakes but not as explicitly as the town's role." |
| Brevity | 8 | At 32 words, it is reasonably concise, balancing detail with brevity without unnecessary fluff. | "The logline efficiently summarizes key elements, aligning with the script's concise scene descriptions." |
| Clarity | 10 | The logline is highly clear, specifying the protagonist, inciting incident, and outcome in a straightforward manner. | "It directly references Emily's wish in Scene 2 and her discoveries in Scene 4, making the story's flow easy to understand." |
| Conflict | 8 | Conflict is present in the web of guilt and sorrow, but 'cursed site' adds an interpretive element not fully backed by the script. | "The well's tragic history in Scene 4 provides conflict, but the 'cursed' label isn't explicit, as the mystery stems from human actions rather than supernatural forces." |
| Protagonist goal | 8 | The goal of uncovering the web and transforming her worldview is evident, but it focuses more on internal change than external action. | "Emily's journey in the script, from wishing in Scene 2 to her empathetic act in Scene 4, supports this, though the logline could emphasize action more." |
| Factual alignment | 9 | It accurately depicts the wish and discoveries, but 'cursed site' is an embellishment not present in the script. | "Emily's wish in Scene 2 and the revelation in Scene 4 match well, but the script portrays the well as mysterious, not inherently cursed." |
Creative Executive's Take
Rounding out the top five, this logline offers solid commercial appeal through its thematic breadth, framing the story as a 'coming-of-age' narrative with a 'conduit between generations,' which could attract producers interested in intergenerational dramas similar to 'The Wonder Years.' It faithfully adheres to the script's exploration of memory and forgetting, as evidenced in ID 'logline_23', with no inaccurate additions, but its generality might dilute the immediate hook compared to more specific entries. Nonetheless, it effectively captures the well's symbolic role and Emily's growth, positioning it as a versatile option for adaptations that emphasize cultural heritage and personal reflection, though it could benefit from more vivid language to stand out in a crowded market.
Strengths
This logline is concise and thematic, effectively capturing the story's broader message about memory and generational connections.
Weaknesses
It lacks specificity regarding the protagonist and conflict, making it feel vague and less engaging for a general audience.
Suggested Rewrites
In a coming-of-age story, a mysterious well links generations, revealing how a small town remembers and forgets its tragedies.
A teen's encounter with a haunted well uncovers generational secrets, forcing a town to confront its buried horrors.
Through a enigmatic well, this coming-of-age narrative explores the delicate balance of memory and oblivion in a tragedy-scarred community.
Detailed Scores
| Criterion | Score | Reason | Evidence |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hook | 8 | The concept of a well as a generational conduit is intriguing, but it may not grab attention as strongly without personal elements. | "The mysterious well in Scene 1 and its role in connecting past and present in Scene 4 provide a hook, which the logline captures thematically." |
| Stakes | 8 | Stakes are thematic and emotional, centered on how towns handle memory, but they are not personalized. | "The script's ending emphasizes the theme of remembering tragedies, as in Emily's final wish, but the logline does not convey individual consequences clearly." |
| Brevity | 10 | At 22 words, it is highly concise and to the point, making it efficient and impactful. | "The short length aligns with ideal logline standards, allowing for quick comprehension without excess detail." |
| Clarity | 8 | The logline is clear in its thematic focus but lacks specific details about characters or events, which could confuse readers. | "It generalizes the well's role as seen across all scenes, but omits named characters like Emily or Mrs. Craven, reducing directness." |
| Conflict | 7 | Conflict is implied in the act of remembering and forgetting, but it is not sharply defined or character-driven. | "The script shows conflict through the town's denial in Scene 4 and Mrs. Craven's persistence, but the logline abstracts this, losing some intensity." |
| Protagonist goal | 6 | The protagonist is not explicitly mentioned, and the goal is inferred rather than stated, weakening the personal drive. | "While Emily's journey in Scene 4 involves remembrance, the logline focuses on the well, not her specific actions or motivations." |
| Factual alignment | 9 | It accurately conveys the story's essence and themes, though it generalizes character-specific elements. | "The well's role as a symbol of memory is consistent with the script's scenes, particularly the fade-out in Scene 4, but it downplays individual characters." |
Other Loglines
- In 1985, a group of kids treat a crumbling well as a game. One girl’s careless wish awakens a quiet horror: a woman determined to ensure the dead are not traded for quarters.
- A period short about memory and culpability: a coin, a collapsed well and a janitor’s sorrow force a teen to choose between laughter and responsibility.
- In a small town stuck in time, a teenage girl's flippant wish at a cursed well unleashes the forgotten grief of a grieving widow, forcing her to confront the true cost of her desires.
- When a group of teenagers treat an old wishing well as a joke, one girl's wish accidentally awakens a haunting memory and a desperate plea for remembrance from a woman consumed by tragedy.
- A dismissive teen's casual wish at a dilapidated well in 1980s America leads her to an encounter with a spectral widow whose life was shattered by the well, turning a careless gesture into a profound lesson in empathy and memory.
- In a sleepy 1980s mill town, a group of friends discover that wishes made at a forgotten well carry a heavy price, forcing one girl to face the lingering sorrow of a past tragedy she never knew existed.
- A superficial wish at an old well unravels a dark secret in a small town, as a teenager learns that true wishes are not about what you gain, but what you remember.
- A teenage girl's innocent wish at a forgotten well in her small town leads her to uncover a tragic past that still haunts the community.
- When a teenage girl's wish at a local well sparks a confrontation with the town's mysterious janitor, she is forced to confront the town's dark history and the lasting impact of a tragic accident.
- In a small town, a teenage girl's casual wish at a forgotten well sets her on a path to uncover the town's buried secrets and the tragic story behind a local tragedy.
- A teenage girl's wish at a local well leads her to a confrontation with the town's janitor, who harbors a deep resentment over a past tragedy that the town has chosen to forget.
- A teenage girl's innocent wish at a forgotten well in her small town sets her on a journey to uncover the town's dark past and the lasting impact of a tragic accident that still haunts the community.
- A teenager's flippant wish at an abandoned well unleashes the suppressed grief of a widow, forcing her to confront the town's forgotten tragedy and learn the true cost of careless words.
- In a nostalgic 1980s small town, a mysterious janitor guards a deadly wishing well, drawing a young girl into a haunting lesson about loss, memory, and the power of respect.
- A group of teens' playful ritual at an old well awakens a spectral presence, revealing how trivial wishes can echo the pain of history and demand acknowledgment.
- Set against the backdrop of a sleepy mill town, a girl's innocent game spirals into a supernatural encounter, highlighting the enduring impact of unresolved grief and the need for communal healing.
- A teenage girl's careless wish at a local well awakens the grief of a town widow, forcing her to confront the real tragedy behind the local legend.
- In a sleepy 1980s mill town, a supernatural well connects a grieving widow's past with a teenager's search for meaning beyond her troubled home life.
- When a thoughtless wish unleashes a town's buried secrets, a young girl must help heal decades-old wounds before the past consumes them all.
- The line between legend and reality blurs when a teenager discovers that every wish thrown down the town well echoes in the life of its grieving guardian.
Help & FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions
Start with the executive summary to get a bird's eye view.
After that, the high-level menu will offer insights into the story, themes, and characters.
The scene-by-scene analysis will demonstrate how each scene performs across various criteria, summarized in the column headings.
Click on any scene title to view the full analysis, including critiques and suggestions for improvement.
'Other Analyses' provides various insights into your writing and different perspectives, although it might not lead to significant rewrites of your script.
After that, the high-level menu will offer insights into the story, themes, and characters.
The scene-by-scene analysis will demonstrate how each scene performs across various criteria, summarized in the column headings.
Click on any scene title to view the full analysis, including critiques and suggestions for improvement.
'Other Analyses' provides various insights into your writing and different perspectives, although it might not lead to significant rewrites of your script.
Click on the Print Analysis link in the left menu. You can then print to PDF or save it as PDF.
Click the Scene Analysis link on the left menu. Next to each scene title you can click "improve". In the improve page you can select any scene from your script to work on.
Yes. You own the rights to your script. We do not claim any ownership of your script. We're simply using it to generate the analysis.
No. We do not use your script to train our AI. The AI uses your script to generate the analysis and nothing else.
SceneProv is a game that helps you improve your craft.
You can play it for free. If you have scripts analyzed, the AI might recommend exercises from SceneProv to help you improve your writing. Go to the craft tab to see what it recommended.
Let the AI take a turn when you're blocked or you want to riff on a scene. Each scene you create in SceneProv gets graded at the end.
You can play it for free. If you have scripts analyzed, the AI might recommend exercises from SceneProv to help you improve your writing. Go to the craft tab to see what it recommended.
Let the AI take a turn when you're blocked or you want to riff on a scene. Each scene you create in SceneProv gets graded at the end.
The maximum length of a screenplay is 160 pages.
Unfortunately it's a known issue for the time being. Fixing this is on the roadmap.
If you're having trouble uploading your script, please email us at '[email protected]'
The goal of ScriptReader.ai is not 100% comprehension, but rather to assist you in improving your script and craft. The valuable insights should still be many. ScriptReader.ai is a tool with a bit of getting used to. We're trying to make the learning curve as easy as possible. If you have any suggestions, please email us at [email protected]
Two common issues are:
- The email might have gone to your spam folder or is hidden in an email thread.
- The process might still be ongoing. Register/Login with the email you used during upload and look at the status. It sometimes takes as long as a couple hours. If it's been longer than that email us at [email protected]
- The email might have gone to your spam folder or is hidden in an email thread.
- The process might still be ongoing. Register/Login with the email you used during upload and look at the status. It sometimes takes as long as a couple hours. If it's been longer than that email us at [email protected]
Feature Request
Got an idea to improve our service? We'd love to hear it!
Scene by Scene Emotions
suspense Analysis
Executive Summary
Suspense is masterfully built and deployed in 'The Wishing Well,' moving from the subtle unease of an abandoned well to the potent dread surrounding Mrs. Craven and the town's hidden tragedy. The screenplay effectively uses foreshadowing, mystery, and a gradual unraveling of truth to keep the audience engaged and invested.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
fear Analysis
Executive Summary
Fear in 'The Wishing Well' is predominantly psychological, stemming from unease, dread, and the uncanny rather than overt horror. It arises from Mrs. Craven's unsettling presence, the unresolved tragedy, and the implications of the town's complicity.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
joy Analysis
Executive Summary
Joy in 'The Wishing Well' serves as a crucial counterpoint to the developing unease and sadness. It primarily manifests as youthful exuberance and camaraderie, highlighting the innocence that is later threatened and ultimately contrasted with profound loss.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
sadness Analysis
Executive Summary
Sadness is the emotional core of 'The Wishing Well,' stemming from loss, regret, and the enduring pain of injustice. It is portrayed through Mrs. Craven's grief, Emily's dawning understanding of hardship, and the town's collective neglect.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
surprise Analysis
Executive Summary
Surprise in 'The Wishing Well' is used sparingly but effectively, primarily to reveal crucial plot points and character motivations that reframe the audience's understanding of the narrative. It's driven by unexpected encounters and significant plot twists.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
empathy Analysis
Executive Summary
Empathy is a cornerstone of 'The Wishing Well,' primarily evoked through the deep suffering of Mrs. Craven and the developing conscience of Emily. The screenplay guides the audience to empathize with both characters, transforming initial judgments into understanding and compassion.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI