The Twelfth Moon

A military crew crashes on the twelfth moon of Rezela and finds the ground itself hungry. As their captain pieces together a conspiracy that sacrificed colonists to mine Soladar, she must choose between survival and exposing those who sent them—one costly sacrifice may be the only way to save humanity.

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Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

The script's unique selling proposition is its haunting central concept: a living moon that consumes humans to produce the universe's most valuable energy source, Soladar. This creates a powerful metaphor for how societies sacrifice individuals for progress, wrapped in a conspiracy thriller about government cover-ups and personal trauma. The blend of hard sci-fi elements with emotional character drama and the tragic, bittersweet ending sets it apart from typical space adventure stories.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

GPT5
 Recommend
Gemini
 Consider
Grok
 Consider
Claude
 Consider
DeepSeek
 Consider
Average Score: 7.3
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
To enhance the script's craft, focus on tightening the world-building around Soladar by establishing consistent rules for its behavior early on, reducing reliance on expository dialogue through more visual and action-driven reveals, and ensuring emotional and plot threads reach satisfying resolutions. This will strengthen the narrative's logic, deepen character arcs, and maintain audience engagement, transforming the story from a promising concept into a polished, immersive experience.
For Executives:
The script offers solid value with its unique sci-fi horror premise and strong female lead, potentially appealing to mid-budget thrillers like 'Alien' or 'Prometheus' in a competitive market. However, risks include unresolved plot elements and pacing issues that could frustrate audiences and critics, leading to poor word-of-mouth; it requires significant revisions to avoid common genre pitfalls and achieve commercial success, as current inconsistencies might alienate viewers seeking coherent storytelling.
Story Facts
Genres:
Science Fiction 45% Action 25% Horror 25% Thriller 20% Drama 30% War 10%

Setting: Distant future, Various locations in deep space, including moons and spaceships

Themes: The Perilous Pursuit of Forbidden Knowledge and its Consequences, Loss and Sacrifice, Government Secrecy and Corruption, The Nature of Humanity: Greed vs. Survival, Duty vs. Morality, The Cycle of Violence and Revenge, Technological Advancement and its Ambiguities

Conflict & Stakes: The crew's struggle for survival against a hostile alien environment and the mystery surrounding the energy source Soladar, with personal stakes tied to loss and betrayal.

Mood: Tense and suspenseful, with moments of introspection and emotional depth.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The concept of a living moon that mines its inhabitants, creating a unique and terrifying environment.
  • Major Twist: The revelation that the energy source Soladar is linked to the deaths of the crew and the fate of lost colony ships.
  • Innovative Ideas: The use of advanced technology and the psychological impact of isolation in space exploration.
  • Distinctive Settings: The contrasting environments of barren moons, advanced spaceships, and the eerie atmosphere of the Mendes ship.

Comparable Scripts: Event Horizon, The Martian, Interstellar, The Expanse (TV Series), Gravity, Annihilation, Alien, Battlestar Galactica (TV Series), Solaris

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.76
Key Suggestions:
To strengthen the script's creative and craft elements, focus on deepening the development of supporting characters and the antagonist by adding distinct motivations and backstories, as this will enhance emotional engagement and relatability. Additionally, refine pacing in exposition-heavy scenes by integrating more dynamic dialogue and action to maintain tension and clarity, ensuring the narrative flows smoothly and avoids dragging in key moments.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
To enhance the script's creative and craft elements, focus on refining pacing to ensure smooth transitions and sustained tension across all sections, as this is a recurring issue that disrupts narrative flow. Additionally, deepen character backstories and motivations to make their actions more relatable and emotionally resonant, while incorporating stronger foreshadowing and clearer resolutions to key mysteries like the Soladar conspiracy. These adjustments will strengthen the overall structure, making the story more engaging and impactful from a storytelling perspective.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The character analysis reveals a strong protagonist in Carla Cain with deep emotional layers and high engagement potential, but supporting characters like Crimmage and Thompson lack sufficient arcs and depth, risking a one-dimensional narrative. To improve the script, focus on developing clearer transformation triggers for these characters, incorporating more backstory and emotional beats to enhance thematic resonance and audience investment, while ensuring dialogue and relationships evolve naturally to reflect growth and conflict.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
To improve the script's emotional depth and engagement, focus on diversifying emotional beats by incorporating moments of dark humor, awe, and personal reflection to counteract prolonged tension and intensity. Enhance character empathy by fleshing out secondary characters' backstories and motivations, ensuring their arcs contribute to the overall emotional journey, and tie plot revelations more closely to personal stakes for a more resonant and layered narrative.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The script's analysis reveals a strong character arc for Lieutenant Cain, driven by her internal and external goals, but to enhance emotional depth and pacing, focus on integrating her philosophical conflicts more seamlessly into early scenes. This would create a more balanced narrative, allowing audiences to connect with her journey from guilt-ridden survivor to resolute leader, while ensuring that the late resolutions (around 80-90%) don't feel abrupt—consider adding subtle foreshadowing to build tension and make her sacrifices feel earned.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
From a creative standpoint, the script's strong thematic core around the pursuit of forbidden knowledge can be enhanced by tightening the pacing in the middle acts to maintain tension and by deepening character backstories, particularly Carla Cain's, to make her personal journey more emotionally resonant and less reliant on exposition. This would amplify the impact of themes like loss and sacrifice, creating a more immersive and character-driven narrative that could elevate the overall craft and audience connection.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
To improve the script's craft, focus on resolving major plot holes and character inconsistencies to enhance believability and emotional depth. For example, ensure that Carla Cain's actions, like her sacrifice, feel organic to her arc by building more gradual emotional justification, and clarify unexplained elements such as the autopilot override and hypersleep duration changes. This will create a tighter, more immersive narrative that better serves the sci-fi genre's potential for tension and character-driven drama.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
The script's voice is a strong asset, with vivid descriptions and impactful dialogue that effectively build tension and atmosphere. To improve, focus on ensuring consistent emotional depth across all scenes, varying the pacing to prevent repetition, and integrating more subtle character development to complement the high-stakes action, making the narrative even more engaging and resonant.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
To enhance your screenplay's craft, focus on refining dialogue to add layers of subtext and authenticity, tightening pacing for better tension and flow, and deepening character arcs to build stronger emotional connections. By incorporating these improvements, you can transform your engaging world-building and action sequences into a more resonant and impactful narrative that captivates audiences on a deeper level.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The script's world-building effectively creates a immersive sci-fi environment that drives suspense and character development, but to enhance it, focus on tightening the integration of elements like SOLADAR to avoid ambiguity and ensure consistent rules, such as how it interacts with the environment and characters. This will strengthen narrative flow and emotional resonance, making the story more cohesive and allowing for deeper character exploration, particularly Cain's personal journey, while maintaining the balance between action and thematic depth.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
To refine your script creatively, diversify the tonal palette beyond the dominant 'Tense' tone by incorporating more contrasting elements like 'Light-hearted' or 'Reflective' to avoid monotony and enhance pacing. Strengthen character development in early scenes through more explicit evolution and make expository dialogue more dynamic and character-driven, ensuring emotional depth is woven throughout to maintain consistent engagement and prevent narrative drag.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.

Comparison with Previous Draft

See how your script has evolved from the previous version. This section highlights improvements, regressions, and changes across all major categories, helping you understand what revisions are working and what may need more attention.

Version Comparison Analysis
Summary of Changes
Improvements (5)
  • Emotional Impact: 7.5 → 8.0 +0.5
  • Visual Imagery: 7.6 → 7.9 +0.3
  • Character Complexity: 7.3 → 7.6 +0.3
  • Conflict: 7.8 → 8.1 +0.3
  • Story Structure: 7.6 → 7.8 +0.2
Areas to Review (0)

No regressions detected