The Twelfth Moon TEST1

Haunted by the destruction of her family and the disappearance of colony ships, a decorated space ranger defies orders to expose a truth more horrifying than any war: a living resource that feeds on humanity.

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Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

The script's unique selling proposition is its innovative twist on resource extraction sci-fi: instead of mining a substance, the substance 'mines' people. The sentient moon concept combined with government conspiracy creates a fresh take on the genre that explores themes of sacrifice, corporate greed, and the cost of progress in a way that feels both familiar and novel.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

GPT5
 Recommend
Gemini
 Consider
Grok
 Recommend
Claude
 Recommend
DeepSeek
 Consider
Average Score: 7.5
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
To elevate the script, focus on resolving the central conspiracy arc with clearer antagonist motivations and a definitive payoff, as unresolved elements leave the story feeling incomplete. Strengthen the rules governing Soladar to make its threat more believable and consistent, enhancing the horror and sci-fi aspects. Additionally, deepen supporting characters by giving them distinct arcs and emotional depth, which will amplify the stakes and make losses more impactful, ultimately improving the narrative's emotional resonance and pacing.
For Executives:
The script offers solid commercial value as a mid-budget sci-fi thriller with a unique sentient resource concept that could attract fans of Alien and Event Horizon, but it carries risks from underdeveloped plot resolutions and pacing issues that might alienate audiences, potentially leading to poor word-of-mouth. Market perception is mixed—it's marketable with strong set pieces and a compelling lead, but without fixes, it could be seen as derivative or unsatisfying, limiting its appeal in a competitive genre.
Story Facts
Genres:
Science Fiction 70% Action 35% Thriller 30% Horror 25% Drama 40% War 10%

Setting: Distant future, Various locations in space, including moons of Jupiter and a ringed planet, as well as a destroyed suburban neighborhood on Earth.

Themes: Exploitation and Sacrifice for Resources, Truth vs. Deception and Cover-Up, Loss and Trauma, The Corrupting Influence of Power, Technological Advancement and Its Perils, Human Resilience and Determination, Family and Legacy, The Nature of Consciousness and Life

Conflict & Stakes: The main conflict revolves around Cain's quest to uncover the truth about Soladar and the fate of her family, against the backdrop of a conspiracy involving illegal mining operations and the dangers of an alien moon. The stakes include the survival of her crew and the potential exposure of a larger governmental cover-up.

Mood: Tense and suspenseful, with moments of introspection and emotional depth.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The sentient nature of the alien moon and its connection to the mysterious energy source Soladar.
  • Major Twist: The revelation that the moon is alive and consumes biological materials, adding a layer of horror and urgency to the survival narrative.
  • Innovative Ideas: The use of advanced technology and the concept of a mining operation on a sentient moon, blending sci-fi with horror elements.
  • Distinctive Setting: The juxtaposition of a destroyed suburban Earth and the alien landscapes of the moons, highlighting themes of loss and survival.

Comparable Scripts: Event Horizon, The Martian, Interstellar, The Expanse (TV Series), Gravity, Alien, Annihilation, Lost in Space (TV Series), Battlestar Galactica (2004), Solaris

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.63
Key Suggestions:
To strengthen the script's creative craft, prioritize deepening the supporting characters' arcs and backstories to create a more balanced ensemble, as this will enhance emotional engagement and narrative cohesion. Additionally, refine pacing in action and emotional scenes to allow for better tension build-up and character reflection, leveraging the strong foundation of Carla Cain's arc to make the overall story more impactful and resonant.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
To elevate 'The Twelfth Moon' from a solid sci-fi script to a standout one, focus on refining the pacing to balance high-octane action with deeper character exploration, ensuring emotional beats resonate amidst the chaos. Clarify the Soladar conspiracy's motivations and details early on to avoid audience confusion, and provide more conclusive resolutions in the ending to deliver a satisfying arc. By integrating these elements, the script can better harness its themes of loss and survival, creating a more immersive and emotionally compelling narrative that strengthens character connections and plot coherence.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The character analysis highlights strong development in the protagonist Carla Cain, who drives the narrative with her emotional depth and quest for truth, but supporting characters like Crimmage and Pace could benefit from more nuanced arcs and backstories to enhance emotional engagement. Focusing on deepening internal conflicts, such as Cain's trust issues and Crimmage's fear, will create richer dynamics and prevent supporting roles from feeling one-dimensional, ultimately strengthening the script's thematic resonance and audience connection through better character-driven storytelling.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
The script's emotional core is strong, with powerful moments of loss and tension, but it suffers from emotional fatigue due to uneven pacing and a lack of variety, leading to repetitive dread without relief. To enhance the craft, incorporate more balanced emotional beats, such as injecting humor or reflective moments into high-tension scenes, and deepen character backstories to make motivations more relatable, ultimately creating a more engaging and nuanced narrative that better sustains audience investment.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The goals_pc analysis reveals a compelling character arc for Captain Cain, transitioning from personal vengeance to collective responsibility, which is a strong foundation for the script. To enhance the craft, focus on tightening the integration of internal and external conflicts in earlier acts to build tension more effectively, ensuring that philosophical elements like justice versus vengeance are woven into action sequences for deeper emotional resonance and to avoid overly expository dialogue, ultimately making the narrative more immersive and character-driven.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
From a creative perspective, the script's strength lies in its deep exploration of exploitation and trauma, but to enhance its craft, focus on tightening the pacing in the middle acts to build tension more effectively around the primary theme. Consider deepening character backstories, particularly Carla Cain's, to make the cyclical nature of sacrifice more emotionally resonant and avoid repetitive flashbacks. Additionally, integrating more subtle symbolism for Soladar could enrich the thematic layers without overwhelming the narrative, ensuring the story remains engaging and cohesive.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
The script's core sci-fi thriller elements are compelling, but inconsistencies in character development, such as Carla Cain's sudden sacrifice, and unresolved plot holes undermine its potential. To enhance craft, focus on aligning character actions with established arcs, clarifying ambiguous events like the ship crash, and streamlining redundant elements like multiple flashbacks and conspiracy discussions for tighter pacing and deeper emotional resonance, ultimately creating a more cohesive and engaging narrative.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
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Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
The script's voice effectively builds tension and emotional depth, particularly in action and flashback sequences, but to enhance its craft, focus on varying pacing to avoid overwhelming the audience with constant urgency. Additionally, refining dialogue to reveal more subtle character motivations could deepen engagement, ensuring that the strong themes of survival and sacrifice resonate even more powerfully without relying solely on visceral descriptions.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
To enhance your screenplay's creative craft, concentrate on infusing dialogue with richer subtext and unique character voices, deepening character arcs to foster stronger emotional bonds, and refining pacing for a more consistent flow. By leveraging suggested exercises and studying exemplary works, you can transform these elements into a more compelling narrative that captivates audiences on an emotional level.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The script's world-building is a strong asset, effectively creating a immersive sci-fi universe that drives plot and character development, but to enhance it creatively, focus on tightening the integration of environmental hazards like the living ground with character backstories to amplify emotional stakes and avoid feeling formulaic. This could involve more subtle foreshadowing of technological failures and cultural elements to build tension and deepen thematic resonance, making the narrative more cohesive and engaging for audiences.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
Your script demonstrates strong suspense and plot-driven tension, but to enhance its creative depth, focus on strengthening character development by ensuring emotional scenes lead to meaningful internal changes, and incorporate more varied tones to avoid formulaic pacing. This will make the story more engaging and less predictable, allowing emotional beats to resonate more authentically with audiences.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.

Comparison with Previous Draft

See how your script has evolved from the previous version. This section highlights improvements, regressions, and changes across all major categories, helping you understand what revisions are working and what may need more attention.

Version Comparison Analysis
Summary of Changes
Improvements (0)

No improvements detected

Areas to Review (5)
  • Character Complexity - antagonistDevelopment: 6.5 → 6.0 -0.5
  • Conflict - resolutionSatisfaction: 7.8 → 7.5 -0.3
  • Character Complexity - characterArcs: 7.3 → 7.0 -0.3
  • Character Complexity - characterRelatability: 7.5 → 7.2 -0.3
  • Story Structure - pacing: 7.6 → 7.4 -0.2